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  4. Taking off the Hijab

Taking off the Hijab

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  • S Offline
    S Offline
    SarahY
    wrote on last edited by
    #18

    HNF! If you know it is not proper (i.e., bad) then remove it; if it does not matter then don't make issue out of it.

    Hey it's not bad or good, it's just a thing. is growing a beard bad or good it's just a thing.

    About the Uni thing, I was planning on doing the same. If I don't stay in London, then it's definitely going to be an issue and I'm starting in September/October time so it's getting to the point of making a decision. But I don't understand ???

    well if you move don't you think it'll be a lesser issue, because those people won't exactly know you. with me these people view me as "oh mashallah so pious she wore it before her mum, she still wears it bla bla bla" min i take it off! circle turns 360.

    it's so annoying how "hijab" is so over talked at my household. just earlier today i was walking with my mum and a group of asians were looking at us, my mum says "they're looking at us cos we look better than them, we wear hijab" and she started going on about hijab.. frustrating i thought..

    then later was watching tennis, i told my bro "i shoulda taken up tennis" and his reply "you'd be the only muhajiba doing it" and im like well i wasn't thinking professional just for fun.. and his like "oh, i'll play with you".

    It's like ah this hijab is such a HUGE symbol, like everything is embedded with it

    I've been wearing it for a year now, I took it off once but it was a really uncomfortable and I just felt people (men) were looking at me which is one of the reasons why I put it on in the first place. And no, none of my Sunni friends know about it and I'm not really planning to say anything right now. I've got my studies which are stressing me out enough as it is and I'm not really prepared for an angry mob calling me to the gallows lol. I did tell one of my friends who doesn't wear the Hijab that I'm thinking of taking it off and she asked me all of these questions and I kind of realised that until I was able to talk about my beliefs, I couldn't really take it off because trying to explain to them without my telling them that it's not obligatory will be difficult.

    Stuck in a rut -\

    Best be able to explain the reasoning, i think i'm not to confident in my memory and i'll have the whole household against my decision so it'll be tough. so for comfort i'd wanna prepare answers in my head, expecting the worst it's easier to deal with. that way people can rationalise it rather than thinking it's all for selfish reasons, theyre all attached to the dunya bla bla. i mean it's tough, why do we really care about people's thoughts but in reality we live in a society and well no one wants to be a loner or outcast.

    at least you're a convert, you could come up with good excuses
    "i dont feel ready yet, i rushed it.. i don't have enough knowledge i feel like i'm a bad representative"
    "i went into it to quick, i feel pressured in the community"
    anything you say could be seen innocent.

    i dunno.. but a yr aint to bad, if you wore it for 5-10+ and took it off imagine the shock.

    i told a close gf of mine and she kept being evasive and ignoring it, like i said nothing. i also noticed she kept complimenting me more on how i dress and dress up the hijab i thought lol i wonder why.

    a few suggested wait till i get married. makes me laugh how marriage is the escape of everything but you know i argue what if i dont get married! no guarantee there.

    I always had an affinity to it, if i didnt come to my thoughts today i don't think i would seriously contemplate taking it off...

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    • N Offline
      N Offline
      nsws1988
      wrote on last edited by
      #19

      it's so annoying how "hijab" is so over talked at my household. just earlier today i was walking with my mum and a group of asians were looking at us, my mum says "they're looking at us cos we look better than them, we wear hijab" and she started going on about hijab.. frustrating i thought..

      then later was watching tennis, i told my bro "i shoulda taken up tennis" and his reply "you'd be the only muhajiba doing it" and im like well i wasn't thinking professional just for fun.. and his like "oh, i'll play with you".

      It's like ah this hijab is such a HUGE symbol, like everything is embedded with it

      It really upsets me when that happens. It's like I'm a piece of cloth nothing more. Everything I do has to be related to this piece of cloth on my head.
      I've gotten "It's because you wear a hijab" from 'friends' because I had problems getting a job. And the constant reminder that "mashallah she's been wearing the hijab since she was a kid" which I hate to hear because it was a very difficult time in my life and it depresses me.

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      • N Offline
        N Offline
        nsws1988
        wrote on last edited by
        #20

        HNF! If you know it is not proper (i.e., bad) then remove it; if it does not matter then don't make issue out of it.

        Sometimes doing something that would make you happy can bring problems. You just have to wait for the right time.

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        • S Offline
          S Offline
          SarahY
          wrote on last edited by
          #21

          It really upsets me when that happens. It's like I'm a piece of cloth nothing more. Everything I do has to be related to this piece of cloth on my head.
          I've gotten "It's because you wear a hijab" from 'friends' because I had problems getting a job. And the constant reminder that "mashallah she's been wearing the hijab since she was a kid" which I hate to hear because it was a very difficult time in my life and it depresses me.

          i know it's like this cloth means you are "muslim", have to be perfect now..

          i remember in highschool this 'hijabi' had a bf and all the girls were gossiping about her, i felt bad for her so i was like what makes her any different than 'such and such'. their reply "oh she doesnt have hijab" even though i thought hijab was an obligation i still felt every aspect should be judged accordingly. so i replied "so what does that mean if i don't wear hijab i can do anything i want because i'm not hijabi."

          hijab wasn't so drilled in as it is now. i remember my mum used to tell me to wear these skirts/dresses that just went below my knee. i used to think my mum was so ignorant how could i show my legs! but if you look at hijab fashion/history in say western societies. it's very different to what it has become (at least in Australia). today if i wore a skirt below my knee and bared my legs, other than looking ridiculously funny i'm sure there will be backlash

          Sometimes doing something that would make you happy can bring problems. You just have to wait for the right time.

          true.. and sometimes we miss opportunities.

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          • A Offline
            A Offline
            aynur
            wrote on last edited by
            #22

            I don't know if you understand or if you're a woman or not, but with the Hijab it's not really as simple as 'take it off' especially if you've been wearing it for a prolonged period of time so please, before you judge her realise it's NOT easy especially when you consider other factors. Putting it on is scary, taking it off is a HELL of a lot scarier.

            I can totally understand - even though I don't wear hijab myself I know if I ever did start, my husband would have a major hissy fit (and probably divorce me) if I took it off. Plus the reactions of other Muslims? They would think that I have no faith and I'm wishy-washy, besides who knows what else they'd say.

            I would say wait, and make sure you're ready before you take it off.

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            • A Offline
              A Offline
              afridi220
              wrote on last edited by
              #23

              It really upsets me when that happens. It's like I'm a piece of cloth nothing more. Everything I do has to be related to this piece of cloth on my head.
              I've gotten "It's because you wear a hijab" from 'friends' because I had problems getting a job. And the constant reminder that "mashallah she's been wearing the hijab since she was a kid" which I hate to hear because it was a very difficult time in my life and it depresses me.

              What is the problem with wearing a piece of cloth on your head, it is not religion it is tradition you will find many women either Hindu Sikh Muslim Christens etc wearing this piece of cloth in many countries.
              So please stop yay and wear as advised by your elders.

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              • M Offline
                M Offline
                MUNZIR_ALI
                wrote on last edited by
                #24

                What is the problem with wearing a piece of cloth on your head, it is not religion it is tradition you will find many women either Hindu Sikh Muslim Christens etc wearing this piece of cloth in many countries.
                So please stop yay and wear as advised by your elders.
                P

                laugh But women are forced to wear it in some countries. That is the problem bro.

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                • S Offline
                  S Offline
                  SarahY
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #25

                  Peace Girls,

                  I have an idea that might be more comforting but still gutsy.. how about changing the style of you're headscarf? so that it shows say a bit of your neck? and then as weeks/months go on make it a lil bit more..

                  so like go through stages

                  • headscarf covered full
                  • headscarf covered with tiny bit of neck showing
                  • headscarf with neck showing
                  • then eventually take it off? or headscarf with neck/hair showing then eventually take it off.

                  maybe it wont be such a "shock"

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                  • WakasW Offline
                    WakasW Offline
                    Wakas
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #26

                    Ahh, a practical and psychological approach. I like it.

                    All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                    • N Offline
                      N Offline
                      nsws1988
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #27

                      Ahh, a practical and psychological approach. I like it.

                      You can test it for us. Let us know how it goes

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                      • S Offline
                        S Offline
                        san
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #28

                        @Sarah

                        That should be on your blog, Sarah! 4/5-steps to Headscarf-Free! you should accompany it with illustrations. yes

                        You can test it for us. Let us know how it goes

                        i'm sure he's already headscarf-free, so i think it goes the reverse, like

                        • no headscarf
                        • headscarf with neck/hair showing.
                        • headscarf with neck showing. hair fully covered
                        • headscarf covered with tiny bit of neck showing
                        • headscarf covered full

                        maybe it wont be such a "shock"

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                        • S Offline
                          S Offline
                          SarahY
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #29

                          lol san

                          Maybe i should try it out.. but first i have other plans. just thought i'd share the thoughts with the other ladies

                          i still think it requires guts, i got some but not enough D

                          i'm sure he's already headscarf-free, so i think it goes the reverse, like

                          • no headscarf
                          • headscarf with neck/hair showing.
                          • headscarf with neck showing. hair fully covered
                          • headscarf covered with tiny bit of neck showing
                          • headscarf covered full

                          maybe it wont be such a "shock"

                          When you put it that way it kinda is shocking / lol a guy in hijab very funny.

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                          • A Offline
                            A Offline
                            afridi220
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #30

                            Peace Girls,

                            I have an idea that might be more comforting but still gutsy.. how about changing the style of you're headscarf? so that it shows say a bit of your neck? and then as weeks/months go on make it a lil bit more..

                            so like go through stages

                            • headscarf covered full
                            • headscarf covered with tiny bit of neck showing
                            • headscarf with neck showing
                            • then eventually take it off? or headscarf with neck/hair showing then eventually take it off.

                            maybe it wont be such a "shock"

                            How abt this

                            Woman students in Egypt wear surgical masks to evade veil ban
                            http//www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1141555.html

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                            • S Offline
                              S Offline
                              san
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #31

                              How abt this

                              Woman students in Egypt wear surgical masks to evade veil ban
                              http//www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1141555.html

                              i want pics!

                              sth like this?

                              http//www.blogcadre.com/files/images/surgicalmask_0.jpg

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                              • A Offline
                                A Offline
                                afridi220
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #32

                                i want pics!

                                sth like this?

                                http//www.blogcadre.com/files/images/surgicalmask_0.jpg

                                That needs lot of free time )

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                                • S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  san
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #33

                                  That needs lot of free time )

                                  only first page on google! i didn't go searching news all-day nope

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                                  • M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    MUNZIR_ALI
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #34

                                    only first page on google! i didn't go searching news all-day nope

                                    laugh Good for you P

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                                    • A Offline
                                      A Offline
                                      Alen
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #35

                                      I've been thinking about it for a while and I almost took it off yesterday but I chickened out at the last minute -\ Would it be ironic to say that I feel just the way I did when I first put it on?
                                      I guess I'm kind of afraid of the reactions of people I know who care about me and the fact that I'm not yet ready to be berated about leaving Sunnism. I remember when I first put it on and hearing my (Non-Muslim) Mother tell me that the Quran doesn't even say to cover your hair, it's strange that she should say this to me a year ago and yet it was as if I put my fingers in my ears refusing to listen. It angered me that she was right and whenever she would ask me to bring the Quran to prove that Hijab = hair covering, I would always put it off until some other time.
                                      Now I'm at a point where I simply don't want to endorse it any more but kind of see it as a bit of a safety blanket and it sounds weird but it's a bit of an ice-breaker? If that even makes sense. Plus, as I mentioned before, I'm not yet ready to come out of the closet about my 'apostasy'. I think the Muslim community around here see me in an unrealistic way (they are usually like this with converts) and I guess putting a foot wrong might warrant some horrible reactions.
                                      I'm sort of in two minds about it right now. I want it off but I just don't know! >_<
                                      Are there any Sisters here who took it off (or kept it on)? Any advice would be nice from girls and guys.
                                      Thanks peace

                                      Peace,
                                      Respectfully.

                                      497 Those whose lives are terminated by the angels, while they had wronged themselves; they said What situation were you in? They said We were oppressed on the earth. They said Was the earth of God not wide enough that you could emigrate in it? To these their abode will be Hell; what a miserable destiny!
                                      498 Except for those who were oppressed from the men, women, and children who could not devise a plan nor could be guided to a way.
                                      499 For these, perhaps God will pardon them. God is Pardoner, Forgiving.
                                      4100 Whoever emigrates in the cause of God will find in the earth many spoils and a bounty. And whoever leaves his home emigrating to God and His messenger, then is overcome by death; his recompense has fallen to God, and God is Forgiving, Merciful.

                                      You are a Muslim, if you follow The Quran.
                                      Only God will Judge you and what humans think or believe about you, is irrelevant, because you can never please all humans, being impossible to met them all and ask them for their opinion.

                                      God bless you, sister.
                                      Peace.

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                                      • F Offline
                                        F Offline
                                        FAR
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #36

                                        Quran 285, 37, 1590-1594

                                        As for women wanting to become nude and go against quran 2430... and becoming cheap for quran 2433.... let them please see the scientific evidences provided by some Italian scientists that go against their beliefs but agree with the quran.

                                        http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9x5wY6hbX8

                                        Am I being to harsh?

                                        Maybe I need to find a forum where real muslimahs are at, because I have a question to ask them... and I don't know if the females here are suitable for that.

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                                        • N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          nsws1988
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #37

                                          Quran 285, 37, 1590-1594

                                          As for women wanting to become nude and go against quran 2430... and becoming cheap for quran 2433.... let them please see the scientific evidences provided by some Italian scientists that go against their beliefs but agree with the quran.

                                          http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9x5wY6hbX8

                                          Am I being to harsh?

                                          Maybe I need to find a forum where real muslimahs are at, because I have a question to ask them... and I don't know if the females here are suitable for that.

                                          Uncovering your hair is not nudity. Good riddance!

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