How do you distinguish between your own logic and Satanic inspirations?
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Throughout my journey, I've always tended to relate what I believe to be my own personal doubts to Satanic 'whispers' or however you wish to refer to it. Leaving Sunnism was the most difficult and I had a lot of doubts and a lot of fear of going to hell for leaving that part of my life behind. I'm perhaps even more confused even though I'm not a Sunni. I felt safe when I was part of that way of thinking and now I feel as if a billion ideas are plaguing me at once and trying to discern between what I believe to be right and wrong is getting more and more difficult.
I guess I expected that once I left the confinement of organised religion that I'd experience a new lease of life, find peace of mind and feel a bit more... free. That hasn't happened and I feel that the next stop is either total rebellion or the nut house.
Sometimes I consider just leaving religion altogether, the amount of pain it's caused and is continuing to cause but then I wonder if that's my thought or it's a thought from Satan. I feel like this idea has been indoctrinated into me that God will punish me for going with my heart, and anything I think that isn't in strict accordance with Sunnism, It's Satan.
I give up, I really do. (Or I would if I didn't think it was Satan telling me to.)
Sigh....
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Throughout my journey, I've always tended to relate what I believe to be my own personal doubts to Satanic 'whispers' or however you wish to refer to it. Leaving Sunnism was the most difficult and I had a lot of doubts and a lot of fear of going to hell for leaving that part of my life behind. I'm perhaps even more confused even though I'm not a Sunni. I felt safe when I was part of that way of thinking and now I feel as if a billion ideas are plaguing me at once and trying to discern between what I believe to be right and wrong is getting more and more difficult.
I guess I expected that once I left the confinement of organised religion that I'd experience a new lease of life, find peace of mind and feel a bit more... free. That hasn't happened and I feel that the next stop is either total rebellion or the nut house.
Sometimes I consider just leaving religion altogether, the amount of pain it's caused and is continuing to cause but then I wonder if that's my thought or it's a thought from Satan. I feel like this idea has been indoctrinated into me that God will punish me for going with my heart, and anything I think that isn't in strict accordance with Sunnism, It's Satan.
I give up, I really do. (Or I would if I didn't think it was Satan telling me to.)
Sigh....
I won?t blame my cousin >D he is very innocent in fact it is our brain our mind our nafs and fellow human. D
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Dear HNF,
Try to delete everything from memory about "religion". Consider yourself as "Ummi" a person who had not earlier read or received the Revealed Book. And start reading the Book which was sent to/for you from its first line slowly and coolly. Don't move forward unless you understand and grasp the first line. InshaAllah everything will seem crystal clear.
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Peace sis,
A thought is just a thought.. we can often freak ourselves out with our own thoughts. Being part of a recognised establish community has its benefits and comforts. You obviously found weakness in the sunni creed and now disregard yourself from it. the guilt is probably due to the whole lot of propagated crap that if you leave sunnism you?re a kafir/kafira or the drilled in thoughts this is the only way and this is why. We know through Quran otherwise.
Obviously it was and still is a hard path, to reject the conformities you once took as belief, and to learn of what is expected in this new path.
Mazhar has a good point. I agree because you mention a billion ideas plaguing you. What does your mind tell you? We will drive ourselves nuts if all we did was listen to other people?s opinion and never consider our own on the matter, and in many cases we may not have an opinion because we simply don?t know. it does take time and there?s nothing wrong with that. When you write an essay at uni, you get plagued with differing arguments and ideas, some more than others. But you have to find your position and you need to support your argument..
You do experience ?a new lease of life? it is different. But it must be sort for.. peace of mind usually happens when you give your mind something to be calm with. there?s no quick fix even if there is, it is usually momentarily.
Just think of being in a maths class and you don?t understand long division and everyone keeps telling you their techniques, in one ear out the other.. although they all sound good, some confusing you just can't grasp it. so anyway you then decide to drop out and go to a lower level class yet they still do division and throw in a few long division question. Your peace of mind isn?t going to be content until you know how to do it (if you really care). And through learning you?ll feel a great sense of achievement and peace of mind.
We need to work for peace in our mind because it doesn?t just miraculously come to us. But I admit it?s easier to be lazy..
Specifically what is the pain caused?
How about rationalising your thoughts each and every one of them?
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When a structure is built on a unstable foundation, it is of little benefit to patch it up here and there as it will always remain weak, so in such cases it is best to demolish it entirely and rebuild from a solid foundation. Is this process easy? No, it is often difficult, takes time, but there is no doubt the new structure will be stronger, as long as one does not repeat the mistakes of the past.
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Throughout my journey, I've always tended to relate what I believe to be my own personal doubts to Satanic 'whispers' or however you wish to refer to it. Leaving Sunnism was the most difficult and I had a lot of doubts and a lot of fear of going to hell for leaving that part of my life behind. I'm perhaps even more confused even though I'm not a Sunni. I felt safe when I was part of that way of thinking and now I feel as if a billion ideas are plaguing me at once and trying to discern between what I believe to be right and wrong is getting more and more difficult.
Selam
If it is of any comfort you are not alone in such thoughts. I battle everyday with thoughts in my mind about the simple issue if what I am doing is right. I think of it like this We have seen Islam in a new light. We were always taught not to question and this is how it was. When we did question we saw that things did not add up. But we have a baggage; we have been programmed to a certain extent. This programming does not just go away. We constantly fight in our heads about what is the truth and if we are being guided by Allah or misguided by satan. How can we tell? What signs are we looking for? etc. Loads of questions in my head which are not easy to answer sometimes. For some it is simple, for others they need time and study. It sometimes does not help that there is a language barrier, i.e. I don't read, write or talk Arabic and rely on translations, which people then put a doubt in your head by saying ?that?s not the right interpretation.? But slowly, you overcome the language barrier through research and using common sense with the guidance of Allah. Things you disputed in your head becomes clearer, the key being patients and study. I try to relate what I read to signs from history, nature etc. It helps me make sense of it all. I try not to debate my beliefs with others and sometimes it is hard not to. My goal should not be to change others, but to first change myself and find peace within me of what I believe in. Like many, I am sure in this forum, we possibly thought we were alone in our thoughts. We had a doubt, and through research or recommendation we found other like minded people to discuss and share facts which we were not comfortable with.
The way I feel now is to start from the beginning, clear my mind of any previous teachings and start from the source, the source being the Quran. First of all I must be sure in my mind and heart that the Quran is the message from Allah and no one else, which I have no doubt. Then I try to see the events from history to try to make sense of why Islam has branched off to many different teachings (sects), just like previous religions. I don?t buy the story that we were told in the hadith about the messenger telling us that we will divide into 72 or so sects and only 1 will be the true one. If we had one source (Quran) and all the sects still use Quran then why have they differed in their teachings/practises/ideologies? Probably the million dollar question! I personally feel that previous beliefs from different cultures as they accepted Islam also brought with them their baggage/teachings/practises, hence the branching. It seems like there has been a fusion of culture and religion, and it has got to a state that one could not be differentiated from the other. I think this is what we are trying to do now and unzip what has been fused over many years and find the truth. May Allah guide us in our journey.
Peace
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... now I feel as if a billion ideas are plaguing me at once and trying to discern between what I believe to be right and wrong is getting more and more difficult.
Peace for you sis,
I feel the same as what you've expressed in your first paragraph, especially on the last sentence. Only that i don't think about "satan" anymore. All the thoughts/images occurring inside the mind are much like the information perceived from the outside. No matter it's the other person in the room or it's the other person in the mind, they're the same. They're never decisive for me and you, because the decision -- e.g. where to go, which way to go, whom to go with, or even 'to go or not to go', etc -- is always mine and yours to make.
As for the "awaited new Life/Peace of Mind"... I don't know about you, but personally i think i haven't found my new Life/Peace of Mind simply because i haven't dealt with some old problems of mine that i hadn't dealt with when i was in the Sunni viewpoint. I believe it's coming, if i keep on dealing with them until it's all done. If it's irrelevant to you then please simply pass this paragraph.
And about following your heart, why d'you think God will punish you for it? What does your "heart" feel about "God"? If you find that, at this moment, your understanding of "God" and "religion" conflict each other, what will you choose to stick with? "God", or "religion"?
I'm asking you that because, of all the things that could possibly pull me back in and to "the right track", the one that constantly returns to my "heart" is not "religion". My mind may want to seek "religion" after my "heart" is shaken, but what if it already knew what's right and what's wrong? What if, for this single issue that's taxing my mind the most right now, i already knew what's right? Would i keep the mind busy to block the heart from gaining the strength it deserves? (Or vice versa)
i'm only trying to say that, the "mind" and the "heart", neither of them works alone. There is also "Peace of Heart" in addition to the "Peace of Mind" you and i are seeking for.
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Don't worry HNF. When you were following what you were told you were a "child", and what you perceived as the assurance of your "elders" gave you all the comfort yu needed. But people are not chiildren all their life, so you grew out of thAt "childhood" and you are experiencing the travails of being repsonsible for yourself, of not having some "older people" who assure you of everything you need to feel sure about. It is like when, by the story of Adam and Eve, they were thrown out of paradise. You have not lost anything, you just have grown up spiritually even if that sounds to you strange.
Do not worry and do not chastize yourself. You have done something right you have assumed your character as and adult person and you experience the hardship that comes with it. You cannot run away from it. Just be always honest to yourself, even though it may seem to you that you really do not know what you believe. If you are an honest person, a truthful person, a morally decent person, you just put your trust in God, and you will be alright. People are prone to cheat ourselves unwittingly, but we are not altogether ignorant either, and you will learn to listen to your deeper understanding as you go along. And do not forget that Satan is not all that powerful if you are really a decent person. Whatever it is, do what a good decent person would do. Beliefs and all that will take care of themselves eventually if you are sincere. And do not treat yourself as if you were a guilty on trial. You are not, so give yourself freedom and don't be uptight. Like someone has said, a thought is just a thought, not a crime.
May God bless you and lighten your mind.
Salaam
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First of all I must be sure in my mind and heart that the Quran is the message from Allah and no one else, which I have no doubt.
This would be a weak foundation. To believe in the Book first and then proceed is not the normal and rational course. First read the Book, evaluate its word whether it is a fact or can you rebut its statement with evidence. If not, then you accept the word of Book. The moment you accept the word of Book it becomes mandatory upon you, as a rational being, to follow that word.
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When I originally replied, I thought it was about a new-found problem, brought about by your new-found views. However, it seems the problem was a lot older than that. When you were Sunni, you didn't need to think for yourself much about what was right, what was wrong, it was not all on you i.e. the burden was shared. Al Quran tells us quite clearly, it is all on you. There is a sense of safety in numbers, e.g. a sheep feels safe in a flock, and it goes wherever the others go or wherever the shepherd takes it. That's fine for a certain period, but it is rare one can grow and develop in such a situation. Your new-found views have led to a growing phase, whether you realise it or not. Like a dormant seed, it's self-contained and safe as it is, but its not going anywhere, and when it is exposed to light and life-giving water, it suddenly springs to life. Growth is not easy, it's the most work that seed will ever put forth in its life, its a struggle, a daily toil, but if it does not go through this phase how else will the seed bring forth fruits?
I think I just need to keep busy and not think about any of this stuff. It's depressing and seriously mentally debilitating.
The way we think and what we think determine how we feel/are. There is a saying in Zen, cant recall the exact quote, but basically it says that joy and sadness originate from the same source, i.e. ourselves. You, and only you, have the power to change how you feel, the problem and the answer is within you. To find the answer dont turn away, turn inwards. So keeping oneself busy is ok, as it gives one time, and time may be needed, but eventually you will need to face yourself. Do not return to the not-thinking / not-growing phase of your life, as this will be detrimental in the long term. To think is to be free, it is a gift, embrace it.
I am a huge fan of the simple philosophy "as a man thinketh, he will become." So, if you have depressing thoughts you will become depressed, if you have debilitating thoughts you will become debilitated. It is that simple.
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With our own thoughts we have doubts.. if it was simply saying in our mind I wanna be happy Im going to be happy but yet know seriously youre kidding yourself.. whats the point?
Your doubts/thoughts are what most people face. We face it when we question our beliefs when we want to verify it. we may stay in doubt for a long time. Myself.. I remember crying like an idiot thinking why dont I know truth.. why me? why do I believe this why am I seriously doubting hadith? why did I take this path? is it true? everything I do is leading me to Quran why me? Why did I have to doubt my creed the one I was brought up with yet everyone seems so happy and content with their ways? Why did I ever have to think why, why, why, why me...?
Eventually I got over being frustrated and decided to look more into the path that went against my sunni ways.. youll kill your mind with thoughts not exactly but totally hate yourself and the way you think, be frustrated and probably turn to a complete state of inertia. Basically thats what frustration of the unknown does or at least for me, it makes me want to block out everything and numb my mind from thoughts because I just dont want to deal with it but eventually the thoughts will creep back and anything unresolved kinda does that. So for that reason knowledge becomes handy it placates the mind and gives it a sense of security from all the mind games and anguish.
Im like my own worst enemy because I know the successful formula but Im just so lazy, so I hate myself, I hate that I know so little yet its my own fault of not progressing at a faster pace or just because of being lazy and postponing things.. but at least I know one thing that I am taking the steps even if they be slow or little to better understand things, to better recognise my position. I know that eventually knowledge will make me feel at peace in my mind.
Thats why knowledge should be sought for to have that peace of mind. and damn right its hard! So many things you dont understand.. you ask people they dunno, youre stuck with yourself a few books/webpages. Doubt/uncertainty is like the most frustrating thing ever. Why? Because you have gaps yourself then others cant help you much and you realise if you want to get anywhere you need to smash through the wall of frustration and ignorance to get that answer. Its hard work but definitely gives you a sense of certainty.. knowledge of certainty 3lm alyaqeen. Thats a great thing to have because it calms your mind you come to realisation in a way your mind works. Your mind doesnt accept things it dont agree/make sense with.
So you can go 2 paths
1.Decide not to study and just accept Im not bothered to try and make sense of this and just accept the other path with doubt but just for ease/comfort
2. Or accept this is a journey that doeesn't end unless you decide to halt it, knowledge will always be sought to verify and rectify gaps/concerns/uncertainties.Maybe you should give yourself a break, relax your mind do something that makes you smile. When youre a lil less stress take a look at what concerns you. Maybe write it out and maybe consider ways of working it out without getting plagued ideas from others. Then maybe when youre stuck have another break dont over stress.. or consider what info you have found maybe ask yourself why are you directed in a certain way, why do you feel guilt/doubt..
I don't think its bad to ask people but when you dunno something yourself, when you have no opinion or you might but you don't know why... if you have doubt/uncertainty and you seek another opinion or opinions to resolve it.. it can end in more uncertainty, confusion and well.. frustration so, you might be worse off /
You know your mind best )
Sorry to be long.. Ill end it here with an Arabic saying el3lim nour knowledge is light
Peace )
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I did not mean to imply just "think yourself as happy" and you become happy. What I mean is how you think and what you think will determine how you feel. To "think yourself as happy" only deals with "what" you think, not "how" you think, thus is not a remedy, it is superficial.
For example, some look at an obstacle in their path as a stumbling block, some see it as a stepping stone... it is your mind that determines how you view it.But let us get away from talk and theoreticals, why not try it out?
If you indulge me/us... can you give us one specific example that is making you feel this way so we can better understand and therefore determine how to go about resolving the issue.
It could be beneficial for all of us. All of us here, whether we realise it or not, are supporting each other, so do not feel in any way that it is me/us helping you, on the contrary, it will be mutual.
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Throughout my journey, I've always tended to relate what I believe to be my own personal doubts to Satanic 'whispers' or however you wish to refer to it. Leaving Sunnism was the most difficult and I had a lot of doubts and a lot of fear of going to hell for leaving that part of my life behind. I'm perhaps even more confused even though I'm not a Sunni. I felt safe when I was part of that way of thinking and now I feel as if a billion ideas are plaguing me at once and trying to discern between what I believe to be right and wrong is getting more and more difficult.
I sympathize with your struggles and the best way to dispel these doubts is to learn the faith. Once you are firmly grounded in, and submit your will to, the infallible truths which our Lord has revealed, you will find, God willing, that your doubts have turned into assurances. In my opinion, the best way to go about learning the faith is to actively and consistently read sacred scripture, make it a habit in your life. In addition, a strong prayer life is very important; you should be conscious of, and in communion with, God as much as possible, since it is He alone who can guide you. Sincere worship will strengthen your bond with God and firmly establish in your heart those truths which are necessary for salvation. Remember we were created for only one reason To worship our Lord. Try to keep in mind that it is not important what you or anyone else believes, what matters is what our Lord says we must believe . The scripture is not a vague and ambiguous work, it is clear, consistent and to the point, on those issues which are necessary for salvation. Do not worry about these other "ideas", concern yourself with the core truths, as God alone is the One who decides what is right or wrong.
I guess I expected that once I left the confinement of organised religion that I'd experience a new lease of life, find peace of mind and feel a bit more... free. That hasn't happened and I feel that the next stop is either total rebellion or the nut house.
Our Lord repeatedly tells us on how few are saved, use this as a motivator to strive hard to please God, and forget about finding what you desire in this life. Afterall, this life was not given for our amusement and comfort, but for our labour that we may earn salvation, as undeserving as we are.
Sometimes I consider just leaving religion altogether, the amount of pain it's caused and is continuing to cause but then I wonder if that's my thought or it's a thought from Satan. I feel like this idea has been indoctrinated into me that God will punish me for going with my heart, and anything I think that isn't in strict accordance with Sunnism, It's Satan.
This is why a strong prayer life is so important; do not entrust the future of your soul to what your heart may desire right now. Trust in God, He has, in His infinite mercy, revealed to us His scripture so that we may find true happiness in serving Him, day and night.
I give up, I really do. (Or I would if I didn't think it was Satan telling me to.)
Please consider these two beautiful passages
2186 When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them) I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me That they may walk in the right way.
3953 Say "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
