Why do I feel like this?
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Salaam Sis,
I know how passionate you may feel about making a change and how disheartening it is when people don't see it the way you do. You know I have gone through similar experience, well with traditional Sunni muslims anyway; I used to feel soooo passionate that I would go out to find my Sunni friends and confront them about my belief. My effort went in vain anyway. Then I realised that the best way is not through arguments, but through setting good examples and doing the right thing. If you want people to see that islam is a system of peace and the Qur'an teaches this, then you should become a peaceful person. If God wills, your friends will see in you the islam of peace, and your friends will be guided. Back then when I was out confronting my friends, nothing came out of it. Then I stopped doing it and started concentrating on myself, and I don't know why, some people started coming to me to know more about islam and the Qur'an. It has been a real blessing indeed.
Anyway, do not grieve if they don't see it like you do. If they attack the Qur'an, then you shall refute them with the kindest possible manner, however, you bear no responsibility of changing their ways. I usually keep these verses in mind
These are Verses of the Book that makes (things) clear. It may be thou frettest thy soul with grief, that they do not become Believers. If (such) were Our Will, We could send down to them from the sky a Sign, to which they would bend their necks in humility. But there comes not to them a newly-revealed Message from (Allah) Most Gracious, but they turn away therefrom. They have indeed rejected (the Message) so they will know soon (enough) the truth of what they mocked at!
Anyway, just focus on doing righteous works. You know... I always try to imagine what happened to the messengers when/after they were rejected by their people and personally, I see that God ordained them to observe patience focus on doing good deeds than arguing endlessly.
Well know We that thy bosom is times oppressed by what they say, But hymn the praise of thy Lord, and be of those who make prostration (unto Him). And serve thy Lord till the Inevitable cometh unto thee.
Have We not caused thy bosom to dilate, And eased thee of the burden Which weighed down thy back; And exalted thy fame? But lo! with hardship goeth ease,Lo! with hardship goeth ease; So when thou art relieved, still toil. And strive to please thy Lord.
I hope that helps Sis. Be patient and you should be fine . May peace be with you, always.
Salaam.
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Sirius,
I'll just echo what BornAgain said (great post btw). Strive to move away from this need to have to explain yourself, or to refute others, or to "win". I'm being hypocritical in saying this because I have always struggled with it, and still do (though certainly less so). The reality is you cannot change those who do not want to change. You yourself alluded to this. No matter how great you think your points are (and they can objectively be great, lucid, and logical points), or how well you think you can put forth your "case," the message often falls on deaf ears.
I went through the same thing many times in the past. I would simply be dumbfounded by how closed off many people were to quite logical points. Think of the many times God says these people are "deaf and blind" to the truth. You can show someone incontrovertible proof, and they will still stay heedless. It's actually quite a miraculous thing to witness.
Another point certainly much of the motivation involved in discussing these things with others is rooted in good intentions; you simply want to help others. But, I do think some of the motivation is purely ego-satisfaction. Maybe I'm projecting my own flaws onto you, but a part of why I would discuss things with people was to feel better about myself, to feel validated, to feel like I won, to feel like indeed I did find the truth. To the extent that holds true for you, that's something you should try to root out. Be satisfied in your beliefs for you, be thankful to God for them, and feel validated simply because you KNOW them to be true (and not because some human being agreed with you). If you can succeed at that, I think you would see that much of your stress would vanish. You would feel "above it all." It's hard to explain but it's a very liberating feeling. You simply feel like you don't even have to bother with it anymore, because it's beneath you in a sense.
Once that is done, all that's left is your example, as BornAgain said. Your actions speak for themselves. People will be drawn to you, not because of your arguments, but because of your character. No better argument for your beliefs than actually living them and prospering because of them. Others, whether they like to admit or not, will pick up on that.
Peace.
P.S. It's been a while since I've had to study for an exam but I found mini-benchmarks always worked for me. "Ok, I'll buckle down and study this for an hour. 60 minutes straight. And as a reward, I'll go out for a walk at the 60 minute mark." Replace "go out for a walk" with any brief activity you like to do. Then after that, do the same thing again. Little mini-benchmarks with mini-rewards peppered in between. Good luck on your exam.
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When people basically try to argue against the Quran and try to convince the world that it is evil, I do know how to respond most of the time but I generally can't be bothered. Is that wrong of me? I know that no matter if I argue with them or not, they will either refuse to accept what I am saying, deny the legitimacy of my response because I don't conform to mainstream Sunnism ideologies and basically think I'm a cop out trying to change Islam to suit me (simply because my ideas do not suit their hatred of Islam) and generally I feel hopeless in responding to them. I try not to get into mindless arguments any way but with more people coming out and challenging Islam it kind of makes me a bit doubtful. It doesn't generally feel too nice knowing that many people consider you to be a burden.
Either way I feel cowardly or doubtful. If I don't respond, I'm a coward. I don't respond because I'm not really interested in getting into lengthy discussions about certain issues, it makes me uncomfortable but also because I know that many Muslims will begin to attack me along with non-Muslims. I also don't respond because what's the point in putting your all into refuting something only to find they are still going to reject what you say.
I feel hopeless right now and I'm kind of going through a rough patch Can anyone cheer me up?
PS. I have an exam tomorrow and I can't focus. I keep going on the web. Any tips to get my mind in gear?
Dear Sirius,
Do not worry. You are in it for life. So do not give up. So do not despair. Your life strategy is set. It is your ideology. It is your life style. It is living a life of a monotheist. You are a MUSLIM.
For now set your ducks / tactics in a row. Prioritize. Pay full attention to your exams. You cannot afford to miss them or flunk them so to speak. I?m sure the excitement of ideological arguments is going to be waiting for you long after you?re true with the school. They?re not going to disappear any time soon. Believe me you. You?re not going to miss them at all. Good luck with your exams.
Peace,
Khalil -
I thnk most of us can feel with you, Sirius. We feel we should reach to everything and be able to counter all evil that is said against islam and the Qur'an and the Prophet, we feel as if we were bretaying when we do not challenge every lie and slander...
The brothers and sisters here have given you good advice, I will just add, that let us accept humbly that we cannot do that, that we do not have the capacity to be everywhere and counter every attack and disprespect. This is the world in which we are, the world God has put us in, and we are part of it. We do not have to answer for that over which we have no power. We should accept our limits, judge what we want and can do within those limits, and put ourselves and our struggles, big or little in God's hands. Le us be humble and needful and ask tht God lightens our burden og overresponsibility and guilt and gives us patiente and the courage to withstand worldly noise to concentrate on essence. I think that is in a way what born-again also meant.
Do not dispair or feel overpowered, sister. Ask for God's forgiveness, since our imperfections will be with us till we die, and trust Him and the Destiny He has created for you and THANK HIM.
Salaam
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Alen, BornAgain, CavemanDoctor, kgwithnob (what a funny user name D) & huruf many thanks. You all understood facets of my problem and gave your perspective on how I can make it better. In a strange way it's good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. I think some of it is to do with what CavemanDr said, a bit of ego but the bulk of it is just feeling down about the fact that I have no ability to change it. It doesn't feel so good to know that tonnes of people literally 'hate' what you believe. Sometimes I forget that I'm just one person and get annoyed with myself when I can't meet my exacting and huge standards of teaching everyone in the whole world. I think scaling down my mission is the first step. No point in attempting mission impossible then getting upset when you fail, might as well have realistic ideals and save the world one person at a time ) muscle
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Don't worry, Allah is aware
And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say "To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you we seek not the ignorant."
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In addition to the advice already given...
Can you clarify if you are referring to discussions primarily with a non-Muslim audience? If so, you may wish to refer them to this site
www.learn-about-islam.com
or
www.misconceptions-about-islam.comIt was made with this audience in mind.
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you don't have to take big steps into showing Islam or Quran to large masses of people. I have been talking to only two women last two sundays
http//www.haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/034.%20Saba/34.46d.gif
You, the Messenger tell them, "I only advise you people with one advice,
http//www.haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/034.%20Saba/34.46e.gif
that you people stand/find time for Allah in twos or individually
http//www.haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/034.%20Saba/34.46f.gif
thereafter reflect objectively keeping aside passions/emotions/prejudices/caprices/whims/conjectural myths to know the purpose of creation of things.Chapter 34
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Alsalaamu alaykoum wa rahmatullah,
Allow me to apologize in advance for not having much in the way of constructive advice.
Having done so, I would like to say that I can certainly relate to your feelings, and truly empathize with your dilemma. You seem to be a bit hard on yourself. Feeling a sense of despair when faced with the difficulties of sharing the message of your belief is not egotistical. In light of the fact that there is generally not much space for the inclusion of your perspective in contemporary discussions about Islam, I think it is perfectly natural.
Get to work on studying for your exam! Maybe you should go to a library or a coffee shop? (without your laptop, ha)
Salam~Adel
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Don't worry, Allah is aware
And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say "To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you we seek not the ignorant."
Thanks OFP and Thanks Wakas, your sites are very helpful )
Great reminder Mazhar.
Salam Adel, thanks for your response too. I'm feeling a tad better now I think. My exam went alright, I will never read another John Donne poem again though, mind )
Peace All!
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Additional verses
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And of men is he who takes instead frivolous discourse to lead astray from Allah's path without knowledge, and to take it for a mockery; these shall have an abasing chastisement.
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And when Our communications are recited to him, he turns back proudly, as if he had not heard them, as though in his ears were a heaviness, therefore announce to him a painful chastisement.
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And when you see those who enter into false discourses about Our communications, withdraw from them until they enter into some other discourse, and if the Shaitan causes you to forget, then do not sit after recollection with the unjust people.
Believe me when I say it, the quran does really have an example for EVERYTHING. These are part of the clear examples/signs, the more intricate complexities of life are completely covered by quran also but it requires a good mindset to understand where they are shown in the verses.
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