My story about my conversion to Islam
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My story about my conversion to Islam
Salam alaikoem,
I am a Moroccan woman, single mother of two children aged 19 and 14 years. I grew up in Dutch family with Christianity. I have reconnected with my Moroccan family since 2001. I've always believed in God, but always been searching for the right faith and sought in all religions except Islam. Islam, I found an unjust faith by what I saw and heard (I have my Moroccan family never taught about Islam). I always went to church but my heart always told me that something was wrong. The Christians also said, take the light of God in your heart but I could not feel it. I had a sick feeling when they said that Jesus is our God and Father and the Son of God. I wanted to make contact with God, but that could not only through Jesus and I found it very annoying. Until one day end year 2000, I was trying to leave my ex (he was a bad man and atheist). I was deeply unhappy. I said to God "Please point me the way!" A few months later, I got my family back through a Dutch television program and came into contact with Islam. I was convinced that Islam is the right religion and felt the light was burning in my heart. I wanted to talk to God but I had trouble keeping his name on my lips to get and talk to him. I felt him as if he said to me, "but it is good to talk to Me." I finally got it and I thought it was a great feeling. I often spoke to God and He answered me in my dreams. I know this does not Christianity. I also found in Islam things not found in Christianity, such as djins, and that Jesus was a prophet, there was much that was not told in church. I found it a strange punishment we were sent to earth just because Adam and Eve ate the apple. Now I understand the truth, Islam is complete and very beautiful. I asked God where to go with my kids. He told me in my dream I was at a women's shelter in Amsterdam. I did not and called all the brokers in the Netherlands for a home, but failed to get a home. I did not go back to Amsterdam so close to my Moroccan family. I called all the women's shelter in the Netherlands but there was no place except in Amsterdam. If Allah destines has something for the people it happens. I have one and half years I lived in women's shelter and then I got a house. My ex had me and my children for years and had made it difficult from one trial after another, I was sick and my children. When I asked God what to do right before the trial, then I got very nice dreams. Once I dreamed (which I found very nice) that I have more people on a stoop Sat, who was stuck inside the volcano all the way around and above the lava. God was there, I could literally see Him but He was there and also shetan. We had always read from the Koran and learn to trust Him. If shetan got closer than I cried, "God help!" Allah said "Read the Koran and trust me," This happened over and over again and we had to stand on that stoop join hands and walk across the pavement without a surface, so the floating lava running down there. I sank down toward the lava and called on Allah for help and he always said "Trust me, trust me!" I finally got dropped and no more. The next day I had a trial and felt God's presence, I had nothing to say, my ex, the judge had failed more through his tricks. My lawyer told me all in advance that it was very difficult to win this (including my ex wanted joint custody but his behavior, I found it a bad idea and he did not want my kids growing up with Islam, I trusted God and let Him decide what was right, He decided the good. Meanwhile my ex deceased since 2007 and since then it went better with us, how silly it sounds. He himself was in itself tangled and teased us with it. It was all unnecessary, I was not a difficult ex, I was always good for him and he could always pick up the kids. When I converted to Islam (late 2001) I did a lot of knowledge and met various groups, I occasionally went to Germany for a weekend several Muslims from around the world to meet and attend lectures and to The Hague. Often to the mosque for lectures and read many books, I opened a site about Islam for children and adults. I learned that there was a difference in groups. Gradually I began to have doubts about this way of holy faith, but did believe in Allah. I went very far in the faith and wore a long veil. I followed everything as how you had to protect against shetan like going outside with your left leg first inside and vice versa, sleep on your right side, facing Mecca, Eating with your right hand and left hand for dirty things. You could not whistle in the house but was shetan, in the evening if you do not cut your nails then the djins sihr do with it. I noticed that they only had shetan and the Prophet said this and that and they read only for hadith and not the Koran. If the Qur'an was read out it was just briefly in the beginning and singing in Arabic. When I said I wanted to understand than they said it was not necessary to understand your heart understand it. There was much talk about the rules for women and what they were saying I was unfair. On one hand I thought, this can never come from Allah, Allah is just. But did my best to accept it because I did not disappoint God I was keen on his way. Much was made to you that you have a long way was and how well you did your best and how long veil were you doing up is not good enough, and it was still the question as to whether it would reach paradise even if you did everything right. They said e.g. see you stuck with that veil do you think you are already good, the are always negative. They talked often about non Muslims, that should keep your distance and when they asked about Islam than what you had to say. in short all the negative things and actually I can not remember they had about God, it was as if God was really the prophet as they only talk about him. I was unhappy when I was there and would often cry and looked around me always other women weeping. Later, when I converted to only Koran (2005), I also that Allah says "Let not their speech grieve you." You were also very frightened of the grave, I always prayed I cried and asked to Allah to protect me for the grave. I was physically and mentally sick by my ex, and the belief of the sunnis, and became possessed of a jhin. I was very thin and everything I ate and drank came right out. Months I lay in bed and could not move me much. Once on a summer day in 2005 I was in bed was more than 30 degrees and was below two quilts but felt cold. I could not even lift my arm, and begged God for help. Then I started shaking really hard in my possession of the djin. That night could not my children sleep and looked out, it was pitch dark and they saw that the leaves in the tree pushed aside, in the form of Allah's name written in Arabic, the name Allah was pretty lit, small tree below was a white dove off his wings to move. The kids made me wake up early to come and watch, I felt a lot better and saw it but it was already fading. When I received contact with a Dutch man who was for years the imam of the suffies, and he was convinced and converted to only Quran and no more hadith. I was on msn to him about Islam were chatting and he asked me to read the Quran. I had the Koran in the house but never read it, frankly I was scared by the stories in the mosque, I learned just hadith's. After more urging, After more urging I took the Koran to read. Everything I said about Islam, he said I had to browse in the Quranic verse to such and such should go and tell him what Allah says in the Quran. Quran spoke to me more and I was very surprised and shocked. Yet still I hesitated and he asked, "what does your head and what does your heart." I said, "my head says no but my heart says yes it's true." I was sick that made me mad by the djin. I was very confused and cried to God "Please God let me not go astray I want to continue on your way, what do I believe it!" The next day I was very angry at this man because he brought me confused. The next day he told me "You were angry with me, huh?" I thought how does he know, but he also did when he was convinced of Quran alone. That night I had a dream from Allah. He said to me "I bring you a new heart, a heart that is pure". And the next day while I was awake I saw a grave to float, come to me as if I was dreaming, while Allah gave me the feeling, "here you do not be afraid of you not coming in". Everything I went through I encountered in the Quran, that the servants of Allah, not their soul in the grave will come, but go back to paradise (The Sunnis say something else and make you afraid). Allah says also "Let not their speech grieve you and the servants of Allah will not grieve." I really enjoyed reading the Quran I wanted more and more and was happy while I was afraid of the quran. I soon began to pray in the pure way, and since then I was better in my possession. I felt so light and happy. After one week I took my veil off and pray without a veil. It is impossible to describe what a feeling I had while, so natural and free. I was very surprised how many people have lost the way of Allah. I read in the Qur'an that shetan take the most people to hell, and the servants of Allah be protected by Allah so shetan not come close. And the people who read and follow fake books, God sends them a jhin which makes them even more difficult, so I understood why I was possessed and that sihr hits you when you're not follow pure Allah's way. Weeks I had need to get rid of all that crap that I had inside all those years of reading hadith, I had weeks headache and tingling in my fingers. Since then, it well and I feel happy hamdoelilah.
How difficult it sometimes was with some people, I lost some friends and 2 sisters thought about me I was lost from the way of Allah. But I stayed strong and in Allah's way. I feel all I would lose everything, I stay in Allah's way and nobody will keep me unless Allah wants.May God be with you, greetings from Amazigh
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Salam alaikoem brothers and sisters,
Thank you for your welcome group
Nafi, thank you for your advice, if you don?t mind, I leave it like it is. I have long done typing, my English is not so good, reading and talking is better than writing. Sometimes I use the translator and my son sometimes helps me D
How do I know I was possessed?
I often was not myself, I did things I never would.
I looked different, had a different look and looked dark. I was irritated and angry and sometimes I scream.
When the jhin came up, than I was a different person, I could not stand jokes, while I really love jokes.
When I heard Quran I irritated me and I did not want to hear it. I felt presence and sometimes he touched me.
I felt very heavy, and after the attack I was very tired, my energy was gone. I could tell people about their past and their future while I do not know, that was scary. If anyone came near who also possessed than I felt. If you are possessed and you get an attack, you talk some other languages that you do not normally speak. I know more people who are possessed and recognize all these things in their. Usually people who associate partners with Allah. The people who are not on the way of Allah, and susceptible also to sihr. If you only follow Quran then you're protected by Allah, alhamdoelilah. When I got on the way of Allah (only Quran), I was better. I feel happy, light and got back myself. sunGreetings from Amazigh
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Peace,
Respect.sun welcome welcome to the forum, sister and God bless you.
I'm always glad to meet more people who have this kinda courage and
we need more people not only on this forum but in society as well.Peace.
Thanks brother and everyone. May Allah lead all people on His way, inshallah. I feel so much love with each other on free-minds. I have never experienced in other ways. The way of Allah is full of love and justice handshake
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Peace to you Amazigh, i too wish to welcome you, although im pretty new here myself D.
welcome
I found your story very interesting, maybe because it shares so many similarities with that of my mothers. However im really glad for you that you found your way out of all those destructive things, God bless you and give you strength.
Also im not really sure on what i believe about jinn possession, but your examples are really vivid and illustrative and help me open my mind up to that a bit more.
Wish the best of guidance to you.
God be with you. -
Welcome Amazigh. I read your story and its good that you are discusing your isues with eveyone. Are you sure that there is no other explanation for you troubles instead of it being a Jin.
I must admit, I am very sceptical of something like that hapening. I am a God alone muslim but also I am a bit of a sceptic when it comes to subjects such as possesions and so caled paranormal.
Thanks