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dating

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  • U Offline
    U Offline
    unknownuser
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    salam alykum

    i ahve a question is dating allowed and if so how far can it go holding hands kissing lying in bed etc

    also what is meant that pure wives for pure husbands in quran is this for virginity?

    please reply inshalalh
    amanda

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      slowbear8007
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Peace be upon you,

      Although I am no scholar on this subject matter; based on my understanding of the Koran I'd say dating is a no-no in Islam IF it invloves unmarried couples kissing and lying in the bed with each other.

      2235

      You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver, Clement.

      God is very upright and if God does not want an engaged couple to even meet with each other secretly, then those who have no relationship with each other (and are basically having a good time) lying in each others bed would be wrong.

      This is my understanding. Hope someone else has any better ideas to help you out.

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        Satan_Hates_Me
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Peace be upon you,

        Although I am no scholar on this subject matter; based on my understanding of the Koran I'd say dating is a no-no in Islam IF it invloves unmarried couples kissing and lying in the bed with each other.

        2235

        You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver, Clement.

        God is very upright and if God does not want an engaged couple to even meet with each other secretly, then those who have no relationship with each other (and are basically having a good time) lying in each others bed would be wrong.

        This is my understanding. Hope someone else has any better ideas to help you out.

        i dont see this verse as "not dating". But maybe i am wrong. I see "not letting couples be alone". But i see no evidenec of couples not be together period.

        i far as kissing and laying down with each other. One thing is clear "there is *no sex in the ISLAMIC ROOM". In religious context, sex is consummating a marriage. But is kissing and "cuddling" sex or taboos, I dont know nor do i think they are.

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          slowbear8007
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Peace be upon you,

          i dont see this verse as "not dating". But maybe i am wrong. I see "not letting couples be alone". But i see no evidenec of couples not be together period.

          Oh yeah, you are right. I meant not IF it involves sleeping or kissing which is what the devil wants us do when alone.

          But is kissing and "cuddling" sex or taboos, I dont know nor do i think they are.

          Well, I am not going to debate with you. But imagine if sleeping in a bed with someone you are not married to, cuddling them or kissing them would have been okay; then go as far back to the prophet and his wives.

          Would it have been okay if he or his wives kissed, laid in the bed with someone else or cuddled those who they were not married to? Of course not. Then, the same applies to us to since just like them we are believers as well.

          Personally, I would never even let anyone touch me who I am not married to. And if I did, then even God might forgive me, but I'd feel dirty, shameful and never forgive myself.

          God knows the truth, but I'd like to be as pure as I can.

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            Satan_Hates_Me
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Personally, I would never even let anyone touch me who I am not married to. And if I did, then even God might forgive me, but I'd feel dirty, shameful and never forgive myself.

            culture is a hugh fact. i was raise in the amerian and carribbean culture which is very affectionate. Men hug men, women hug woman, and men hug women. yet there is nothing sexual in it.

            Would it have been okay if he or his wives kissed, laid in the bed with someone else or cuddled those who they were not married to? Of course not. Then, the same applies to us to since just like them we are believers as well.

            but you missed an important fact, THEY ARE MARRIED. Of course muhammed or is his wives wouldnt "cuddle" with someone else, they are married.

            The issue brough up by amanda is dating. In american, dating a courtship were one seek a marriage partner. It doesnt mean people have wild sex without a marriage ring. Many date without sexual relations.I see no evidence in the KOran opposing dating or courtship. I DO see clear evidene of not having sex. But like i state, should one considered kissing or cuddling (even in the presence of others) taboo by KOran standards. I dont see evidence of it. But i can be wrong.

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              Ansar
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              salam alykum

              i ahve a question is dating allowed and if so how far can it go holding hands kissing lying in bed etc

              also what is meant that pure wives for pure husbands in quran is this for virginity?

              please reply inshalalh
              amanda

              Do you follow self-declared scholars? Do you worship these people? Do you set up partners beside God? God never told you to follow the members of free-minds.org......(using the arguments of the free-minders)

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                TheNabi
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Salaam Ansar

                Are these the questions the people of the ummah asked 1400 years ago?

                Joe

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                  zenje
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I think Ansar is an automated system.

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                    unknownuser
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    salam

                    my questions were for someone else who asked me to ask since i told them my view but they disagreed and my point was to see if anyone could provide proofs to either way they felt this guy ansar seems to be looking for reasons to put us down why doesnt he throw himself into his rituals the way he throws himself into trashing people

                    now that i have seen your behavior ansar and the way u deal with issues i 100% would never follow you or your ideas just like if the proplhet was hard hearted no one whould have followed him just like u ur hard heartedness turns me way off and becasue of you i no longer wish to talk to any sunnis about this topic ever again if there attitude is liek urs dont u know ur actions speak louder than ur words

                    ur filled with accusations and suspicions just like the quran tells us not to be suspicous of others ur soo suspicious u prey online waiting to attack thats what it seems to me damn the christians are a hell of a lot more nicer and kind in dealings of spreading there religion id be inclined to talk with christians beofre i ever talk to you again

                    people like u make me want to run away from isalm im glad the real islam is not what u think it is or the way we should deal with peole is not the way u deal with people

                    r u really following the proplhet do u think he really would sit waiting untill peole said soemthing so he could be arrogant liek u and say hahahahah
                    see im right and ur wrong
                    no i think he would probably be calm and patient and listen and diplomatically speak

                    so ur actions far outway ur words
                    even if words may of possibly carried any wieght

                    ur credibity has sunken

                    i will inshallah try to avoid you and peole like you who like to make drama and show how much ur heart hates
                    if u think ur being diplomatic or muslim like that is sad becasue if i did not know the truth and ran across you id runn screaming and neevr come back to islam

                    hamdiallah i know the true islam before i met the "muslims"- yusuf islam

                    God needs no partners to clarify what he said is a clarity for everything

                    to my real brothers and sisters who know how to respect each other please feel free to pm me anytime inshalalh

                    salam
                    humbly yours
                    amanda

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                      Zephyr
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Salaams

                      Dating can be harmful and at the same time harmless. If the couples are decent and they just meet with the intentions of knowing each other, then there would be no problem. However the moment of dating is very sensitve and people can easily get carried away with their selfish desire created by Satan, who is always on a lookout for a chance to make people astray. It is upon oneself and how he/she can control onself while dating. Also however good a man may be, he will definitely think of intimate things like kissing, hugging or sex while dating.

                      However God has commanded us to "subdue our eyes" or "meeting secretly" or "alone" and "maintain chastity". we are commanded not even to meet our fiancee secretly unless we have something righteous to discuss. if we are not allowed to meet our fiancee secretly how can we meet another person alone/secretly giving it a shape of dating. If we are to hug or kiss someone, we will be doing more than subduing our eyes. While dating, it is also common to keep looking or staring at your date and this may lead to unwanted thought, thus making dating more than innocent.

                      My personal opinion, stay away from dating or be emotionally strong to control onself of loosing out to satan or have group datings. However a person try, it is extremely difficult if not impossible to avoid unwanted thoughts.

                      Peace

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                      • U Offline
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                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Peace be upon you,

                        The God has not prohibited dating, so we can not prohibit it. The God HAS however told us to guard our private parts EXCEPT with our wives and who are rights posses (not sure what he rights posses means yet).

                        Dating is how you get to know if you want to marry someone, if the two of you will get along together and most importantly, share the same focus in this world.

                        Lastly, the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are fake words in my opinion. They imply that you are "married" without being "married". You can "date" no one sles, yet you are not married. I think that is falsehood.

                        All I see is dating, without sex, to get to know the person. Once sex becomes involved, then you are married, wether you have had a ceremony or not.

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                          MetalMan
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          What does the Quran define marriage as?

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                            unknownuser
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Peace be upon you Metalman,

                            Still searching for that, but it appears that it is whenever a man and woman come together to start a family in the path of the God. Other than that, when men and women get together, it should remain free of sexual acts and thoughts.

                            The "ceremony" is just made up for financial gain, although it is not prohibited.

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                              bluerose
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              All I see is dating, without sex, to get to know the person. Once sex becomes involved, then you are married, wether you have had a ceremony or not.

                              idolfree-

                              if this is true, then what is fornication?

                              blue

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                                khalil
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                All I see is dating, without sex, to get to know the person. Once sex becomes involved, then you are married, wether you have had a ceremony or not.

                                idolfree-

                                if this is true, then what is fornication?

                                blue

                                I found this interesting. Traditional translations such as Yusuf, Shakir and Pikthal tend to use the word 'fornicate' in thier translations while Free-minds translation as well as Rashids use the word 'Adulatry' in its place. I did not find the word present in Rashids nor in Free-Minds translation. Perhaps the choice of words from the traditional translators was based on outside sources as well hadith ? This is my conclusion as of now.

                                Here's a link to all its appearences to check out

                                http//www.submission.org/quran/webqt.php?&indata=fornicat&t[]=1&t[]=2&t[]=3&t[]=4&t[]=5&t[]=6

                                pz

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                                  shamsul-arefin
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  peace to all,

                                  This is how I understand,

                                  Marriage is something when Two person has agreed to share their life togather. All the witness and paperwork is to protect each others right and property by law and to ensure childrens rights.

                                  And the "the right hand posses" might mean where 2 person loves each other in true form and wishes to live life togather but not much paper work such as marriage. It can be compared with the term "Pacs" if I am not mistaken. Something like official BF-GF where family and friends knows abt the relation. And I think there are also law here to protect each others right. Its verymuch practiced in Europe.

                                  I think the sex thing is very personal and its between 2 persons agreement as only a person can decide with whome he or she can share their sexual life.

                                  well this is my understanding.

                                  peace

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                                    bluerose
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    hmmm..... this is all very interesting. if true, it would certainly clear up a lot of things that question. for example- fornication is one of the 3 sins that is punishable by eternal hell. i may be ignorant, but it doesn't seem to be as big of a crime as tons of other sins i can think of. perhaps it acutally has to do with sexual crimes as a broad category- including adultery, rape, molestation, etc. any thoughts?

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                                      khalil
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      hmmm..... this is all very interesting. if true, it would certainly clear up a lot of things that question. for example- fornication is one of the 3 sins that is punishable by eternal hell. i may be ignorant, but it doesn't seem to be as big of a crime as tons of other sins i can think of. perhaps it acutally has to do with sexual crimes as a broad category- including adultery, rape, molestation, etc. any thoughts?

                                      Peace bluerose

                                      I never heared of three sins punishable by eternal hell, is there a verse(s) from the Quran that states this? Perhaps this is a belief ingrained from tradition as the concept of fornication may also be.

                                      I do not think eternal hell would be in the spirit of the Quran, I think you get what you give or as the christian would say 'reap what you sow'

                                      And We will place the scales of justice for the Day of Resurrection, so that no soul will be wronged in the least. Even if it was the weight of a mustard seed, We will bring it. And We are sufficient as a Reckoner. (2147)

                                      pz

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                                        bluerose
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        peace khalil,

                                        sorry for the misinformation. i dont know where i heard that from, but maybe it's not qur'anic. this is all really interesting to me. say, for the sake of discussion, that fornication is a man-made concept, then would engagement also be a man-made concept? if so, then why the verse prohibiting an engaged man and women to meet secretely except for righteousness? any other interpretations of that verse? thanks.

                                        blue

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                                        • WakasW Online
                                          WakasW Online
                                          Wakas
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          peace bluerose, all,

                                          I dont understand your questions, perhaps you can clarify?

                                          As far as I'm aware there is only one 'eternal' punishment in al quran, and that is rejection/disbelief (in The God) and/or associating partners/equals with The God.

                                          Wakas

                                          All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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