finding a Muslim wife as a Quranist
-
how does one go about this?
I don't want to marry a kaffir, but to many mainstream Muslims we are kaffirsneed some insights
-
Being a muslim is a long process, Paper Tiger.
You can go through many stages, which makes you reconsider your faith, and maybe change directions.
To have a successful marriage, one atleast have to give room, to these developments. A sunni wife one day, might be a quran alone the other, or a sufi the next. So you have to have a marriage that can take these kinds of changes. Do you pray, does she pray? If she is praying, and you are convinced meditation is better, can the relationship take it? And similar things.You atleast have to agree on one thing, and that is rejection of satan. But even here there is some small room for interpretation. Some may drink a bottle of wine, on rare occasions without really being a disbeliever because of that. I remember I drank wine, because I was influenced by sufi teachings, and that there was wine in heaven, or something like that.
Can a relationship really handle all of these things? If you think you are ready for marriage, I guess you have to find some universal ground to base it on, which she agrees with. Sense, goes a long way I guess.
Anyway, it's a miracle if people stay togheter I think.. Maybe not the answer you wanted to hear. Maybe I should just say "I have no idea how you go about with that." ;D
-
If you can, come to Kosovo, there are loads of people who believe in Quran only
-
Look for belief and all the things that come with it. If someone is kind, merciful, gentle, peaceful, peacemaking, truthseeking, self-accusing, and they have an understanding of what the creator TRULY is, then by all intents and purposes they are a believer. That is the fertile ground.
-
Salaam Paper Tiger,
how does one go about this?
I don't want to marry a kaffir, but to many mainstream Muslims we are kaffirsneed some insights
2221
2221 And do not marry the female polytheists until they believe. For a believing female servant is better than a polytheist even if she attracts you. And do not marry the male polytheists until they believe. For a believing male servant is better than a polytheist even if he attracts you. Those invite to the Fire, while Allah is inviting to the Paradise and forgiveness by His consent. He clarifies His revelations for the people that they may remember.
Unfortunately or fortunately
12106
12106 And most of them will not believe in Allah except while setting up partners .
May Allah help you and me finding a true non-mushrik believing soul-mate pr
Mohammed M. Khan -
What I sort of meant is, how will her walee respond to that her prospective son in law is a Quranist, although I must say I am starkly more conservative than 99% of this board. The way I see it I have 0 objections with most petty things that traditional Islam does but mainly things that don't exactly influence us directly e.g. powerful priesthood that is counter productive to the advancement of society, how far people take thing like walking with right foot first etc
Let me ask something, surely dating is not permissible amongst the Quranist community as well?
This is ironic but I am actually very happy that you have listed some restrictions on this and those are what I am getting at, it seems a lot restrictions have been lifted in the Quranist community and I must say it makes me uncomfortable to say the least whether the brothers here are like me that truly don't think some of the practices of traditional Islam is compatible with a forward equal society and resemble too much the old catholic traditionals than those who come across to me as looking for an answer that suits them
-
Dating in public is permissible, lewdity is not. The quran makes this very clear.
-
Dating in public is permissible, lewdity is not. The quran makes this very clear.
I like the sound of this; I was scared that someone was going to tell me its okay to date
Could you elaborate what you mean?
-
Many of us have come from other belief systems. I personally got introduced to my current belief system because of my ex, so why should I rule out the possibility of meeting someone with good morals, compatible outlook on life, attraction and an open mind, even if he doesnt currently share my beliefs. Plus my beliefs change with time and study, so I dont think its advisable(atleast for me) to shut out the possibility of being interested in someone who currently belongs to other faiths, but has similiar moral and interests.
And, just out of curiosity, why do you think its necessary to tell everyone that your a "quranist" its enough that the partner knows, isnt it?
-
I like the sound of this; I was scared that someone was going to tell me its okay to date
Could you elaborate what you mean?
1732 And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way.
There is more but I don't have time. Basically my understanding is that unlike the heavily restricted Sunni-ism, men and women are allowed to freely mix. However it is incumbent on everyone that they do not fornicate because that causes a world of grief for any potential children, not to mention that ALLAH sends down STDs to prove his point.
How are you supposed to know how a relationship is going to turn out if you don't know the person? An arranged marriage works only because of the ridiculous pressure from both sides of the family to keep it together. The glue of bonding can be of many different types, I prefer "No more nails". Surely both parties should have perfectly informed consent as to what they're getting into.
Regardless, we need a source of pressure of some kind to overcome the weakness of both parties in adhering to their contract. If this doesn't come from family pressures it must come from other things. Indeed it must be there for any family to retain stability. In western society it comes from being "in love", a biological response that ensures the child makes it to at least 2-3 years old, and then it fades out and chaos comes into the picture.
True love is what's needed, the invisible binding force that has an infinitely strong grip when applied correctly. No more nails indeed.
And, just out of curiosity, why do you think its necessary to tell everyone that your a "quranist" its enough that the partner knows, isnt it?
If anything I think the flinching at the inevitable "Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said ..." would make it fairly apparent
-
1732 And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way.
There is more but I don't have time. Basically my understanding is that unlike the heavily restricted Sunni-ism, men and women are allowed to freely mix. However it is incumbent on everyone that they do not fornicate because that causes a world of grief for any potential children, not to mention that ALLAH sends down STDs to prove his point.
How are you supposed to know how a relationship is going to turn out if you don't know the person? An arranged marriage works only because of the ridiculous pressure from both sides of the family to keep it together. The glue of bonding can be of many different types, I prefer "No more nails". Surely both parties should have perfectly informed consent as to what they're getting into.
Regardless, we need a source of pressure of some kind to overcome the weakness of both parties in adhering to their contract. If this doesn't come from family pressures it must come from other things. Indeed it must be there for any family to retain stability. In western society it comes from being "in love", a biological response that ensures the child makes it to at least 2-3 years old, and then it fades out and chaos comes into the picture.
True love is what's needed, the invisible binding force that has an infinitely strong grip when applied correctly. No more nails indeed.
If anything I think the flinching at the inevitable "Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said ..." would make it fairly apparent POK WTF? Dating doesn't mean sex, you can date if you're sure you won't engage in sexual relationships, dating isn't zina and i suggest you search David_K's topic on how to know someone the islamic way in the Matrimony section
Peace
-
The distinction is very blurred. In western society dating is almost equivalent to sex. It's the mating ritual. We're not too far off from other creatures, you see.
-
The distinction is very blurred. In western society dating is almost equivalent to sex. It's the mating ritual. We're not too far off from other creatures, you see.
That's the biggest bullshit i've ever heard. Dating is dating, sex is sex, you can always date without having sex and you don't need too much willpower to do that.
-
OK WTF? Dating doesn't mean sex, you can date if you're sure you won't engage in sexual relationships, dating isn't zina and i suggest you search David_K's topic on how to know someone the islamic way in the Matrimony section
Peace
OPF is against the notion of mere dating being forbidden. I believe he is clarifying what is specifically forbidden in Quran ie sex, not the institution of dating itself, so your frustrated reply is directed to the wrong person.
On a side note, dating does to a degree imply that two people are sexually active, specially in the western world. In theory it may not, and in some practical cases it may not..but generally the trend is that sex is implied with the use of that word.
so IMO, quranic rulings depend on what you mean by the word dating. If its just meeting up to get to know each other more and to enjoy each others company in a non physical way , then sure theres no reason for it to be forbidden...however when dating is taken to include sex, it comes into the forbidden category according to the quran. In effect, before the rulings of Islam can be made certain, we need to be sure of what both the opposing parties mean by the word dating. -
Dating is an English word. In English culture, dating has an incredibly strong component of sexual attraction involved. Stop fighting over words and concentrate on the meaning of al-quran. I'm not here to argue over semantics.
-
That's the biggest bullshit i've ever heard. Dating is dating, sex is sex, you can always date without having sex and you don't need too much willpower to do that.
Generally most people would say it takes a lot of will power to refrain from sex if your attracted to the other individual. I agree.
OPF, you and I all agree that dating per se isnt forbidden, provided dating means just getting to know the other person on an emotional and intellectual level. Even though your definition of dating may not include sex, its not the same for everyone and you need to give allowances for multiple implied meanings behind a term.
Furthermore, I think it would be more effective if you argue without the use of such charged language. Doesnt exactly strengthen your argument in any way.
-
Dating is an English word. In English culture, dating has an incredibly strong component of sexual attraction involved. Stop fighting over words and concentrate on the meaning of al-quran. I'm not here to argue over semantics.
Check David_K's topic i believe his theories are correct
