Marriage and the MIL
-
LOL!
Seriously I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair!
I have passed through the Suez Canal numerous times and also called on ports in Egypt and I got to tell you, the people (working in the canal/port) EXPECT you to grease them up. They want cigarettes, porn, booze and money. When you say no sorry don't have any they look at you like you are a complete jerk and they actually get violent sometimes.....It is like just because they are there on your ship it means that all your belongings are not yours anymore. A health official inspecting the galley automatically assumes that all the provisions belong to him and he can take whatever he wants. And the bribery......I kid you not, every ship passing the canal has AT LEAST given out 20-30 cartons of Marlboro cigarettes in bribes to officials. If you do not bribe it is "Sorry mister captain, you not pass today. Maybe tomorrow Inshallah"
Nothing against Egyptians, but I think you need to be Egyptian to be able to handle an Egyptian ;D Me, a dumb white boy got no chance against them....Seriously they could get you to buy a fifty cent bubblegum for ten dollars and top of that make you believe you have just ruined them and you just made the bargain of a lifetime. They are very crafty and I got the outmost respect for their business mind. However being from another part of the world where there is a certain degree of honesty in business it makes it difficult to handle the Egypt style.
Except for that, hide your jewelry and remember Allah asks you to give your excess. On a more phsycological note your MIL seems not to be in balance. Perhaps it is her way of protesting against the fact that her son belongs to you now.....
Lol!
-
LOL. Well that makes me feel better.
They also have this think where they love hearing you speak arabic.. haha I felt like a circus monkey performing tricks.
She has been home now for about 3 months. I love her, but like I said.. SOUR PATCH KID.
Now I can watch UFC instead of WWE....lol
Thanks guys
-
I just watched this video of Yasmin Mogahed talking on the topic of love in Islam and something she said I feel is relevant to your issue... She said we have to love for the sake of Allah and that includes doing things for other people (i.e. your MIL). She mentioned sometimes we do things for someone and they do not appreciate it at all and it is hard for us, but to remember that Allah is the witness and your reward (thanks/appreciation) lies with Allah.
If you haven't watched any of Yasmin Mogahed's videos, I highly recommend her. I am assuming she is a main stream Muslim but I really enjoy her thoughts.
-
Lol!
Seriously I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair!
ME TOO!!! Lol rotfl baksheesh is what it's all about. From their cultural point of view maybe it's a way of sharing out the wealth! I have worked for 2 years with 12 Egyptian women aged 25- 55 years. From a Western cultural mindset, some of their behaviours can be seen as extremely rude, ignorant and even aggressive (these include bullying, inability to acknowledge or accept other viewpoints or new ways of doing things, rushing to food tables during shared / buffet lunches like cattle in a stampede and heaping their plates with enormous proportions without thought for others, taking more than their share of stationary resources (truly they have no shame about "greed", it's get in quick and get as much as you can to the point of physically pushing and shoving each other), also jealousy and undermining of colleagues work, seeking favour from the boss, competitiveness on gift giving occassions (who receives what and it's value is a big deal!), not being honest about feelings, manipulating statistics and especially focusing on looks rather than substance (what we in the west call "window dressing" But I have found a similar cultural mindset (including mob justice) in many African and Asian cultures. At work, I manage to ignore these behaviours most of the time - I assume it's a result of growing up in a group based traditional culture, but I often wonder at the disconnect between these behaviours and their Muslim identity! And how do they see us Westerners? I have been told that we are seen as selfish for not lavishing money, gifts and food on others, rude if we refuse to drink or eat food offered that we don't like (I hate coffee, tea, sodas so you can imagine the difficulty that causes for me!) , that we are not good hosts, westerners are generally considered unclean (we all sleep around with everyone!)and WE ARE KAFFIRS!
In any situation of cultural difference I find it's a fine line between adopting the attitude of when in Rome do as the Romans do and remaining true to my own core values. Indelwyn maybe if you try the complete opposite response - shower your MIL with heaps of small gifts, constantly compliment her etc go totally overboard in your attentions towards her, she may be overwhelmed and after some years her attitude may change - you could even become her favourite daughter in law!!
.
-
That is great. ) Proud of the way you handled that sis! bravo
^ u have an excellent signature
-
all I can read is, she is behind your money and GOLD rotfl