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  4. Quranists: Does your connection with Allah feel different?(Than before quranism)

Quranists: Does your connection with Allah feel different?(Than before quranism)

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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Released
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    -I started menstruating at the age of 9, but at that age, I would still pray salaat and read Qur'an as I did not believe Allah had made me "impure".
    -I did not see why I had to mention Muhammad and Abraham in salaat as it seemed completely irrelevant to the objective. Why was the entire process of it so prescriptive rather than something personal as it ought to be. God is not stupid, so why would he require mere tokenistic symbolism from you five times a day in the form of a brief aerobic exercise and some ancient Arabic utterance which meant nothing to you.
    -I did not believe that my judicious Allah wanted men to have multiple wives to satiate their sexual desires rather than exercise control over their nafs.
    -I did not see why Allah had created me, but wanted me to wear a tent. The way I acted and what I intended was more important than superficial adherence to purported modesty.
    -I did not believe that the merciful Creator of The Worlds and all that resides in them would be unmerciful in His command. I did not agree with gays and adulterers and fornicators being punished as they were being done in some "Islamic" states, especially K.S.A. -all in the name of "Allah".
    -I did not see why I would pay 2.5% to charity when I had more than 2.5% to give. I have always given money to charity even as a child and didn't feel that I had to put a restrictive quota or be guided in this aspect to do good. There was even a limit to doing good (?!?!??!?!).
    -I thought it was laughable that the Pakistani children at the mosque would not have the soles of shoes facing towards the ceiling as this meant "God was being hit by a shoe" (?!?!?!?!?!). So, whilst the men had gone to pray salaat, these kids would turn the shoes the "right way around". Even at the age of 4, by the grace of God, I could see this was a ridiculous and benign cultural belief.
    -I never put faith in "holy men" or "soothsayers". Even as a 3-4 year old child, I never paid heed to the peremptory authority of pirs and fakirs. I always believed, even as a child, that we have an equal footing towards God and our intentions and deeds and actions are what separate us. We don't require any intercession through any other being.

    I can totally relate to the majority of all these things. The last one especially makes me chuckle. My mom used to take me to see her astrologer. I think I even once told him "I don't believe in anything you are about to say".

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    • R Offline
      R Offline
      Released
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      Peace,

      Speaking of friends, I lost all of them. I still miss one of them to this day. She and I would always enroll in all of the same classes! After class, we would always have lunch together. Sometimes, we would go shopping together. I would talk to her on the phone every day. I confided so much in her. Except, that in confiding this matter, I lost my friendship to her.

      Boricuaboi85,

      I think my biggest challenge is the lack of a community. I miss having like-minded people to hang out with. I wish we could all have a weekly Quran study in real time. I'm sure many of us feel a bit lonely.

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      • B Offline
        B Offline
        boricuaboi85
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        Peace,

        Speaking of friends, I lost all of them. I still miss one of them to this day. She and I would always enroll in all of the same classes! After class, we would always have lunch together. Sometimes, we would go shopping together. I would talk to her on the phone every day. I confided so much in her. Except, that in confiding this matter, I lost my friendship to her.

        Boricuaboi85,

        I think my biggest challenge is the lack of a community. I miss having like-minded people to hang out with. I wish we could all have a weekly Quran study in real time. I'm sure many of us feel a bit lonely.

        That is also my biggest challenge. I already live in an area with very few muslims. The nearest Islamic Center is about 40 miles away, and it is avowedly Traditionalist Sunni. There are no others nearby. The closest ones are in Lubbock (about 100 miles) and in Dallas-Fort Worth (280 miles) and these also are sectarian. So, it makes it very difficult to find community.

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        • R Offline
          R Offline
          Released
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          Peace bro,

          I also live in a very isolated area as well. Check out my location. However, God works in miraculous ways. Yesterday, my husband took a taxi, and the taxi driver and his wife happen to be Quran only! We never thought we would meet anyone like us up here! I can understand how you feel though. Thank God for the internet.

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          • E Offline
            E Offline
            es
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            Feeling isolated is something which comes up quite often from members of this forum. Alhamdulillah, I have never felt like that. Although, I know no one else who believes what I believe in my circle.

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            • R Offline
              R Offline
              Released
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              Peace Es

              Do you have Sunni and Shia friends in your circle? Do they know and understand fully what it is that you believe?

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              • E Offline
                E Offline
                es
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                Dear "Released",

                Unfortunately, for the purposes of your query, I cannot answer your question as I do not have any "friends". As I have become increasingly closer to God, I have become increasingly distant from human relationships. I used to devote a lot of time and energy to my friends and family, but now I want to be selfish and I choose to focus on studying and following Allah's commands properly. However, I am extremely happy like this. I am content and at peace. I have been like this for a while now and I do not miss human company. Strange really, but true! )

                Salaam.

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                • N Offline
                  N Offline
                  nevashiva
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  lol...I don't want to be a party pooper (I am probably lying)

                  Actually I attained that feeling you had when I decided to discredit all religions certainty...so right now I am not sure what is right and what is wrong everything is a maybe even the Qur'an...and I have that feeling you have of being quietened and voices in your head disappearing, serene at last.

                  And like you I keep thinking, maybe this is the calm before the storm, maybe I have traded hell for peace in this lifetime....and so I start going maybe I should read the Qur'an...I mean maybe while I am calm I'd feel ok to read it.

                  And here I am back again to this website because the voices in my head are driving me to be suicidal once again....

                  I don't know what to tell you...I started with the sunna, and now nothing is certainly divine to me anymore....am I warning you, or cheering you on...I don't even know lol...just sharing my piece of the puzzle i guess....

                  To me religions seems to hate life...and makes humanity a vile condition to be...and what better way to end this than death...but yet you are not allowed to decide your self...

                  My opinion.

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                  • R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Released
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    Peace Es,

                    I can relate. I took some time off from friends and family as well, but of course, my condition was by force since my friends disappeared. Though, after awhile, the peace did set in. These days, I am looking to get back and out, and make some friends. We recently moved to a different state, and I have a six month old daughter. I want to socialize her and meet some women in my age group. I just miss girl time sometimes.

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                    • E Offline
                      E Offline
                      es
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      Salaam,

                      I used to enjoy my own company and then I became immersed with people and their problems. I became everyone's agony aunt, but completly neglected myself in the process for many years. Then I realised that to do service to God, one must first be equitable to one's own self rather than focussing on other people. It is good that you want to socialise, in fact it is imperative for your daughter's development, which you have already pointed out. I am just an anomaly! And a very happy one at that! )

                      Salaam.

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                      • R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Released
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #31

                        Peace Es

                        It's all good. sun

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #32

                          Peace Es,

                          I can relate. I took some time off from friends and family as well, but of course, my condition was by force since my friends disappeared. Though, after awhile, the peace did set in. These days, I am looking to get back and out, and make some friends. We recently moved to a different state, and I have a six month old daughter. I want to socialize her and meet some women in my age group. I just miss girl time sometimes.

                          Okay....my daughter is six months old too...this just keeps getting better and better...

                          I know how you feel about girl time...when I was married I just wanted some girlfriends to hang out with, talk about islam and do "muslimah" things. My ex was so controlling and suspicious that I never really got to go the masjid much, so it never happened. The one girlfriend I do have is much older, has kids my age, and it gets hard to relate to her because she takes on a a motherly role most of the time...I don't need a mother, I need a friend. Looks like for now, I have my e-friends here on the site...and that is okay.

                          Peace es,

                          I agree with you too. I have come to understand that first and foremost I have a personal responsibility to my worship. As a christian, I was so busy trying to get everyone else to believe and get "saved" (yeesh) that I neglected my worship. I do enjoy that aspect of my worship now, as it has taught me to keep my mouth closed and not be so judgemental of others.

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                          • R Offline
                            R Offline
                            Released
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #33

                            Peace Amina,

                            Wait..lol...I made a mistake! Some mother I turned out to be! My daughter just turned 7 months yesterday..and I totally forgot. Still, they are both very close in ages. Yes, at least we've got our girlfriends on this forum!

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                            • A Offline
                              A Offline
                              AliHuzaifa
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #34

                              Asalam Aleykom )

                              The reason I ask this is because when I denounced sunnism and embraced "quranism" (God Alone/Quran Alone), the way I connected with God feels very different now. I'm not sure how to describe it. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from me, and like what was once a cluttered heart, feels so clear and "empty" (in a good way, I think).

                              Also I don't find myself burdened with guilt, shame or unworthiness like I slumbered most of my life feeling. And it feels like the "voices" in my head have quieted and I almost feel like the calm before the storm. I have to admit I'm wondering if Allah "has left" me (forgive me Allah for the comparison but or else it was shaytan that has left). It's just so quiet inside me! I also feel less fearful (terrified) of Allah. Very much less. I'm not sure if that last one is a good thing..I guess I'm still going through "shock". I only just "reverted" three weeks ago.

                              I definitely feel liberated though.

                              I'm curious to know what everyone else felt/feels in terms of their connection with God. Please share )

                              nothing special coz I was always like this,yes it feels like being in space tempt

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                              • B Offline
                                B Offline
                                Bender
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #35

                                My ex was so controlling and suspicious that I never really got to go the masjid much, so it never happened.

                                Salaam scaredmuslimah,

                                You are divorced now?

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                                • R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Released
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #36

                                  Peace Amina )

                                  I'm thinking of joining one of those mommy and me groups, and meeting people through that avenue. Though, I may not meet any Quran only muslims in the process. I would not mind going to the movies, dinner, or shopping with these women. However, I would just refrain from drinking alcohol, or taking part in any vulgar discussions. I am just toying with the idea though..very unsure.

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                                  • U Offline
                                    U Offline
                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #37

                                    Salaam scaredmuslimah,

                                    You are divorced now?

                                    Wa Salaam Bender,

                                    Yes...I am divorced now, Al Hamdulilah. I don't know how much longer I could have lived like that.

                                    -Amina

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                                    • U Offline
                                      U Offline
                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #38

                                      Peace Amina )

                                      I'm thinking of joining one of those mommy and me groups, and meeting people through that avenue. Though, I may not meet any Quran only muslims in the process. I would not mind going to the movies, dinner, or shopping with these women. However, I would just refrain from drinking alcohol, or taking part in any vulgar discussions. I am just toying with the idea though..very unsure.

                                      Peace,

                                      I have one girlfriend that is absolutely wonderful. We became close friends after working together for a few months. She doesn't care that I am Muslim, didn't care when I covered and doesn't care that I no longer cover. We go to the movies, shopping, art fairs, etc. I am so grateful for her.

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                                      • R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        Released
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #39

                                        Peace Amina,

                                        You are so blessed to have a friend like that. I'll tell you over private message of a couple that my husband met randomly. I believe they are also Quran only or at least very progressive in their thinking.

                                        I think your experience is very reassuring. I think I am definitely going to try, and meet up with some of these women. Hopefully, I will meet at least one person who will accept as I am, God willing.

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