Qualities that I should look for in choosing a wife
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Peace sonnie.
Any advice will be bias. Why?
Because you only presented the character of one side " your fiancee".
Peace.
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To me, you sound like you don't want to marry her. Just an observation.
Yes, I am having doubts, because there are others women whom might make a better life partner in the end.
Peace sonnie.
Any advice will be bias. Why?
Because you only presented the character of one side " your fiancee".
Peace.
hmmm...I don't know how to present any other side.... let me try again
Pros
-She is attractive
-She has an amazing personality (funny, caring, loving, open minded etc)
-She is a good person and good MuslimCons
-She is not a hard worker (her words, not mine)
-She stays away from responsibilities (again, she is the one who admitted this)
-She doesn't know how to manager her stress/emotions
-Doesn't have a goal in life (Doesn't have/want a career)Will things all workout in the end?? Or will I regret marrying her, every time I see a stronger woman.
If I knew these things before getting engaged, I would not have gotten engaged.All I can find in the Qur'an so far is the following requirement for spouce
2221
And do not marry the females who set up partners until they believe. For a believing servant is better than one who sets up partners even if she attracts you. And do not marry the males who set up partners until they believe. For a believing servant is better than one who sets up partners even if he attracts you. Those invite to the Fire, while God is inviting to Paradise and forgiveness by His leave. He clarifies His revelations for the people that they may remember. -
^ very funny post thanx u made my day rotfl
aafter reding ur comments, it seems brother no matter with whom u marry , u will always wish u had married some one else...... rotfl
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"sonnie",
I am not sure whether your post is a joke, but from mere observation, I don't think you should insult your fiancee by marrying her.
No one is perfect and what I think "good logic" was referring to is that you did not mention your own flaws to balance the scenario.
Salaam.
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Peace,
At least she is being honest with her "flaws". Now, it's up to you as to whether the two of you will be compatible in marriage with one another. God simply tells us what is prohibited in this regard, now you have to make the decision as to whether you actually see a future with this lady. By the way, can you please tell us what your flaws are?
Even if you decide to not marry her (as I find that you are discontent in many regards), please bear in mind that no one is perfect. Marriage will take a lot of work, nevertheless. So, if you are already seeing a potential for some major conflict, then perhaps you should rethink things?
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Salam
Salaam,
I need some help locating Qur'anic verses that advise as to what qualities I should be looking at when making a decision. I have done a lot of searches, but I cant find any ayas for choosing a spouse...
Personal Details (if you wanna read them)
So....basically, I am engaged
However, I am not 100% convinced I want to marry my fiance yet. I like her alot, but I do not love her.
Her character
-She is kinda attractive
-She is lazy /
-She has college diploma for the sake of having a diploma
-She want to be a mother, and does not want a career (again, she is very lazy)
-She listens to me
-She says is willing to change for me (everything except she really does not want to work)She has alot of potential... but IDK if I should marry her because of this. Any personal advice would also be useful.
Salam Sonnie
why do you ask us, if you want to marry?
i'm. sorry, but your queation seems like a horse sale this is o.k, and that is not, and maybe the price is too expensive, maybe the horse is sick and dies or I find a better ... nope
Think. ???
Salam peace -
I think you should talk with her about your personal goals in life, and what you want to do. See if you guys could have some common grounds. Mutual Respect and love.
Also, you should talk about religious beliefs and anything else which might effect your marriage in the future.
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lol, thanks for the comments guys! And no, this is no joke... its real life man
I think you should talk with her about your personal goals in life, and what you want to do. See if you guys could have some common grounds. Mutual Respect and love.
Also, you should talk about religious beliefs and anything else which might effect your marriage in the future.
Thank you for your advice brother. Yes, I have, it seems we are incompatible in our goals /
Peace,
At least she is being honest with her "flaws". Now, it's up to you as to whether the two of you will be compatible in marriage with one another. God simply tells us what is prohibited in this regard, now you have to make the decision as to whether you actually see a future with this lady. By the way, can you please tell us what your flaws are?
Even if you decide to not marry her (as I find that you are discontent in many regards), please bear in mind that no one is perfect. Marriage will take a lot of work, nevertheless. So, if you are already seeing a potential for some major conflict, then perhaps you should rethink things?
Thank you for the comments.
Yes, I know not everyone is perfect. Here are my pro/consCons/Flaws
-I can be demanding
-I like things done my way
-I cant tell a joke to save my lifePros
-Understanding (her words)
-Caring (her words)
-Loving (her words)
-Hardworking/Acomplished (self description) -
Peace sonnie.
My advice would be Do not forget to ask her parents ( and yours).Put ypur trust in God and good luck.
May the Lord bless you both.
Peace.
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Peace,
It appears that you are very loving and caring, and this is great! However, when you get married to someone, often the formalities come to an end. You'll have to ask yourself whether you have the patience to live day in and day out with this person? Are you willing to compromise here?
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Peace sonnie.
My advice would be Do not forget to ask her parents ( and yours).Put ypur trust in God and good luck.
May the Lord bless you both.
Peace.
Thank you good logic. Best advice yet. My heart is telling me the same thing.
I am leaning towards marrying her...often the formalities come to an end....Are you willing to compromise here?
This will be true with anyone I get married to. Yes, I am willing to compromise
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Salaam sonnie,
Marriage is not a game, it is a life changing moment, your thoughts, your feelings, your understanding, everything will not gonna be same as now that you have. So, I suggest....
Write down on a piece of paper yours pros and cons and her's pros and cons, then compare and see, it may help you see both sides together inshaAllah. As from your posts, I found that she don't want to work, that is it... I don't see any other problem with her.
And also if you can discuss with her openly and see if you both are compatible to each other. If you feel that you don't love her or she is not compatible to you, don't marry her. Because this negative think grows in your married life later on. If you feel that you are capable of compromising and understanding, then you can go ahead. There are really many things to think about.
Over all, you should not forget 2221, if she is mushrik, then there is no way that you can marry her.
Please clarify everything before you proceed or I should say before spoiling yours and hers life. Don't get emotional, discuss every possible matter, then once you finalize whatsoever, leave everything on Allah and do tawakkal on Him alone in those matters... inshaAllah, everything will be alright and in peace.
May Allah protect you both and guide us all to His only path pr
mmKhan