Qualities that I should look for in choosing a wife
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Peace MMKhan,
I did not add "soon", I just included it within my sentence. Perhaps, it's just the way I speak. Sometimes, I type in the way in which I speak. I meant for the advise to help anyone, whether they get married now or later. I didn't mean to exclude anyone.
Yes, MMKhan, Amina is correct. I found this to be an obvious aspect that couples must talk about. Otherwise, there is nothing else to talk about, if they do not share this belief in God alone.
The whole basis of my husband and I coming together was on the premise of believing in God alone. I never thought I would get married. I found it so difficult to find someone who shared this belief. Then, it happened. Praise God. We of course discussed our shared monotheism at great lengths.
However, I think that compatibility in other aspects is also important. This is why I included this list. Two people may believe in God alone, but they may disagree in many other aspects, causing a rift between them. It is important that they have similar values in other aspects as well, because they will have to live with one another day in and day out.
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Peace mmkhan
Instead of discussing these things , I would like the discuss the main key point is, whether she agrees to serve only Allah and no one else as per 2221.
My ex husband said that he served Allah alone and claimed to live it. Once we were married the turth was revealed. My point being, yes, it is VERY important to discuss, but just because someone claims it with their lips doesn't make it so.
This is also very important. People can profess many things. They can tell you they believe something, but it is important to get to know them more, and see what they are really about.
Also, same beliefs alone DO NOT hold a marriage together...once again, I learned that the hard way. Just because you both agree to serve God alone doesn't mean you will get along swimmingly.
Very true.
I think the reason Released didn't list it is because it is an item that is a "no-brainer," meaning it is implied that she (or we) would already know that about them before we even considering taking the step into a relationship.
Hope I made sense there.
-Amina
One thing I will add even though my husband I discussed that entire list, we still have arguments and fights. This is inevitable in a marriage. However, we don't fight or argue about too many major things, because we have discussed the bulk of it (that long list). Sometimes, we just irritate one another with small things, but then quickly forgive and move forward.
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Godsubmitter
Nobody can make you anything, do not put the blame or responsibility to anyone but you, for all you do and you are!
What nonsense. My family and friends do make me happy, otherwise why would I be with them? Its not blaming or putting responsibility to anyone but its just a fact about how I feel.
I didnt understood why you came up with the verses you quoted, what have they do with anything?
Peace
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My ex husband said that he served Allah alone and claimed to live it. Once we were married the turth was revealed. My point being, yes, it is VERY important to discuss, but just because someone claims it with their lips doesn't make it so.
Peace Amina,
Red I totally agree with you. But I don't mean in that way, you know that already
Also, same beliefs alone DO NOT hold a marriage together...once again, I learned that the hard way. Just because you both agree to serve God alone doesn't mean you will get along swimmingly.
Red I don't agree with you 100% on this, because, this is a major point that may solve more than 50% of a married couple issues.
Serving Allah alone is not by lips as you said, but it has to be from heart, that forcefully made the believer to correct himself/herself when the aayaats are quoted by other partner. This makes the life easy, inshaAllah, because both of them change themselves for God, so they will not be ashamed.
I think the reason Released didn't list it is because it is an item that is a "no-brainer," meaning it is implied that she (or we) would already know that about them before we even considering taking the step into a relationship.
In fact, there is not need to make a list the points to discuss with our partner before marriage. We can see easily by talking in general whether the other one is compatible to us or not. I feel this is easy and effective ) Hence, no need to make a list and interview our partner, that will make you and the other one feel something different, if other one realize that you are interviewing him/her.
Hope I made sense there.
-Amina
This is just my opinion, others may not agree with this and I don't have any problem with it D
May Allah help us and guide us to His only path pr
mmKhan -
However, I think that compatibility in other aspects is also important. This is why I included this list. Two people may believe in God alone, but they may disagree in many other aspects, causing a rift between them. It is important that they have similar values in other aspects as well, because they will have to live with one another day in and day out.
Peace Released,
I totally agree with you on this handshake
Please see my reply to Amina on other part of your post.
May Allah bless you,
mmKhan -
Peace )
I understand that we'll have differences in the way in which we will approach marriage. I, myself, felt that a list of things to discuss would make me feel more secure and comfortable. I took an entire year to evaluate my husband before we got married. Of course, he had that time to evaluate me as well. This is the approach that I would advise people with, but no one is obligated to adopt my approach because it may not be for everyone.
All I know is that, life has taught me to be very cautious and calculative. My personality and life experiences may also be playing a role in how I approach important life decisions.
I make dua that all of your will find your spouses and have marriages filled with love and tranquility no matter which approach you take.
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Peace Amina,
Red I totally agree with you. But I don't mean in that way, you know that already
Red I don't agree with you 100% on this, because, this is a major point that may solve more than 50% of a married couple issues.Serving Allah alone is not by lips as you said, but it has to be from heart, that forcefully made the believer to correct himself/herself when the aayaats are quoted by other partner. This makes the life easy, inshaAllah, because both of them change themselves for God, so they will not be ashamed.
In fact, there is not need to make a list the points to discuss with our partner before marriage. We can see easily by talking in general whether the other one is compatible to us or not. I feel this is easy and effective Hence, no need to make a list and interview our partner, that will make you and the other one feel something different, if other one realize that you are interviewing him/her.This is just my opinion, others may not agree with this and I don't have any problem with itMay Allah help us and guide us to His only path pr
mmKhanLOL! I agree there mmkhan...those are things you learn just in every day conversation with someone. It's not like they are interviewing for a job.
-Amina