Does allah dislike divorce
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Quran references to back up statements please
Regards
Peace -
Cn't think of any. I know there is a hadith, but I cannor recall any Qur'ani referrence saying such a thing.
In general everybody dislikes divorce, the question is whether there is a better alternative to divorce in any given situation.
I think it is common sense and we do not need any dogma or specific statement for that.
The Qur'an lays the conditions and gives injuctions to good behaviour in order to avoid getting into that situation.
I don't knwo whether this is an answer for the question.
Salaam
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If it's not written in the Quran then it's outside of Islam.
Btw hadith which talk about this is a weak hadithSalam
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Peace,
Please allow me to laugh "weak hadith", is not most if not all weak hadith in that case? D
There is only one authentic hadith and that is Quran. Bye bye sahih bukhari and muslim.
I read a few chapters of sahih bukhari yesterday and it is hard to understand someone believes in that. What about the prophet spits water in the face or in a bucket for people to use to "bless" them?
Or the number of stones to use to wipe the "private parts".
It is this gibberish empty-shelled sunnis sit and defend on their forum. Noshe jan.
Better if a group of wise men today sat down and wrote a moral book from scratch without all the nonsense.
Sorry for my burst-out. I find the hadith more amusing now when I am enlightened.
By the way, the Quran does not mention what God thinks about divorce directly, but you can clearly see God dislikes it if you study the verses. See God's closing statement in verses mentioning divorce or preconditions for divorce.
It is of course better to divorce than carry on in an appalling relationship, but best would be to try reconciling instead through various means. God gives some advise like gathering representatives from both families of the pair and discuss the issues. Modern update to God's verse would be to seek a counselor or therapist.
God likes divorce so much that He prescribes a 4 month waiting period for a husband and He says that reconciliation is better for a couple.
Read verses about discussion on divorce and I am surprised if you think that God does not dislike divorces. But of course an endless abusive marriage is better to end in a divorce than going on. God dislikes the abusive spouse in that case and there is no blame on the victimized spouse. If two people find out they married without thinking twice and get into endless fights and despite seeking help to settle their problems from the root of it cannot do so then divorce is the best option, but to try hard to reconcile is better for them.
I think there is something bad about every marriage that leads to a divorce, but I am sure God will pardon those with a good excuse.
God is so clear about things so a human could write a whole book based on a few verses in Quran where those verses are sufficient to God. Talk about Master!
God is also so true when He says the human being is very argumentative, just follow the Light and God's guidance and stop the arguments.
Sorry that I make it look so easy, because it is so crystal clear to me, but if you think differently please go on. I am of course open to ideas and I may be wrong on something even with my determination.
Edit I was thinking about one thing in hadith that might be true. People came to the prophet with questions about something to give (I do not remember what) and the prophet replies like this "Three is okay" "Two is okay too" "One is okay too" when people argue about some religious "rule". See how important exact number of rakah and stuff really is by reading hadith. I have thought about the intention all the time and these hadiths give me more fuel to the fire (even if they should not! )
God bless you
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The very expression "God dislikes..." shocks me. God does not have to dislike anything, He can have anytime anything the way He wants. He should have likes that go against His will? That to me sounds idiotic. God has exactly what he wants. Of course He tells people to try not to be in a situation where divorce is the best thing they an do because God has created man precisely for that for jihad in his or her circumstances. But divorce is just as constructive as surgery. It is not a failure nor a damning nor a blot. Not to do our best in whatever situation may be a failure in whatever degree, but to cut the spoil when there is not better way out is virtue, not failure, it is not something to be ashamed of, in the same way than to fail a very difficult exam when you have really tried your best and ut all your effort is not a shame or a failure, but an honourable deed.People are not born to be successes but to be good and try to become better, more faithful. For divorce also courage is required. Some divorces are hell and nobody chooses that, but not to go through it may be cowardice or self-defeatism and self victimisation and no virtue at all.
It is humans who dislike divorce, because that it is proof that they have done something they no more agree with, like being married to a certain person. What should be tried is to make as noble and dignified as possible.
Marriage is a trial like everything is a trial and may have many outcomes. And for every person God has created a destiny.
Salaam
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Peace Huruf,
While I understand your post, sister, I think that God has a taste or certain elements of Quran would not be there, would they? We cannot decide what God dislikes, but we can understand what He dislikes.
But like you say, it is from case to case. Some marriages are better ended than kept going and God does probably not mind since peace is better than bitterness.
If a marriage has reached a dead end with no more escapes then divorce is the best or it is strong dislike the other way instead. And for an oppressed woman (or man) to break out of such marriage under threats is a big merit and I am sure that can be like passing a trial in life, just like you said sister.
We must remember that our life is already written, so our struggling marriage might be a test. We should implore God and wait and see. With steadfastness and patience the most righteous solution will appear conveniently although probably not without some sort of emotional testing.
It is really difficult to speak for other persons which case one has never seen and say they should stay in a marriage because of the preconception that God dislikes divorces. I am sorry if my post appeared like I said every poor soul should stay in an impossible marriage because "God dislikes divorces".
Ok, it is the background to the behavior which may lead to divorce that God dislikes to search for a more appropriate attribute to that dislike. Violence, oppression, drug abuse, emotional separation, bad / negative language etc, the actual case is different.
God bless you
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@huruf. I think I understand what you are saying....
Divorce is by far the most painful of human experiences even if you are walking out of an abusive relationship. No one goes through divorce unscarred or unscathed. Divorce is not a taboo out here in the West but in the East, it still is. It doesn't bother me what people think as God knows what I had been through.
Did God dislike that I went through divorce? God would have preferred that I didn't have to go through this pain but would he have preferred that i stay with a narcissist and sociopath? I know without any doubt it was God who gave me the strength and courage to leave abusive relationship. I am not ashamed of getting out of toxic environment.
God has made himself clear what he likes and dislikes in the Koran. God dislikes that I suffer.
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Good statements
But what I'm talking bou is uknow how some people be like, @ we divorced cause we grew apart". Thas bull crap to me , how do u be wit somebody for ten years and grow apart
If I'm wit somebody for ten years I'm staying with them , me I'm just a loyal person anyway, and the girl I'm with is going to be loyal
I don't have time for all that bein wit somebody for years and then leavin them, like wat was the point of bein wif u, I coulda been wit somebody else if that was the case
I can see if it was abusive , or things were getting crazy, that's why allah said take 4 months to cool off
& talk to someone & divorce should be the final option
But I'm talkn bou a relationship were the bills get tight and things get hard now they wanna divorce, what was the point of bein wif u then
Me personally I'm jus not wit that whole ima be wit somebody just to be with them and leave them for anova girl and break they heart,
If I'm down for u, ima ride for u untill the end, I'm just a loyal man like that, and I've been loyal my whole life
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Peace all.
We lived in this world just for a test, so its for determning us, we go to heaven or hell depending on our actions in this world.
This world is like a final test in the school, you passed or not depending on your action by facing the questions written in the paper.
Allah send us some tests and problem for our live in this world just for testing our faith.2135 Every soul will taste death. And We burden you with evil and good as a test, and it is to Us that you will return.
2214 Or did you expect that you would enter the Paradise, while the example of those who were before you came to you; they were
stricken with adversity and hardship, and they were shaken until the messenger and those who believed with him said ?When is the victory of God?? Yes indeed, the victory of God is near.Divorce maybe hard by some people, lost of their loved one and their children will get psycollogical effect cause of that divorce.Btw don't get on that divorce deeply, there are some people who stress and even suicide in news around the world just because divorce.
I lived in a place with economic difficulties, some of people in here experienced stress, became unfaith to God, and I even experienced some bads in my past.But I'm a faithful man, the more Allah give me temptation then more it make me strong and more faithful deeply to God.Please allow me to laugh "weak hadith", is not most if not all weak hadith in that case?
Yes, you can laugh as many times as you want, the only One can stop you is Allah.
That hadith which told about Allah hate divorce is labeled as dhaif hadith even by some Sunni scholars.So this hadith is trash of the trash.Or the number of stones to use to wipe the "private parts".
Ouuch awww >.This hadith is very inappropriate for using of fiqh.
Like story of Moses who chasing running stone because that stone stole Moses's clothes. -
@glory be to Allah,
I so agree with what your saying! The problem is people's ideas and values are not shaped by the Koran. They are shaped by Bollywood and Hollywood.
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It seems to be a common thing to say now, people hear it and see it so they do it we grew apart, we stopped loving each other? If you ever really love someone, I believe you will always love them. Divorce really is a last resort and necessary in some cases, but there are more cases where you wonder if they could have stayed together and worked their problems out.
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Peace glory be to allah,
If I marry someone is because I feel this is what God wanted and I give them a solemn pledge. And I also keep in mind that the wife is probably my partner in Heaven too as long as she manages to get to my level there and that I do not end up in Hell instead of course.
The intense love is probably over after a few years but your are still bonded if you are the right couple. Nothing should allow you to grow apart as long as you maintain your relationship well. Then if you get children you are further into something. The couple should refrain from being affected by media and what is regarded as acceptable in modern norms and observe God instead. God is always modern and actual and you can always trust His Wisdom.
I have been married for a little more than 3 years and my marriage has been all but easy. I have steadfastly persevered so far though and it is actually better now than the previous 3 years. The evil one affected the marriage and caused havoc in our life. Shaytaan seems to focus heavily on getting me down for some reason, but thanks to God he does not seem to succeed.
God bless you
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No such thing
Speak for urself man of faith
Intense love is never over, I can speak for myself when I love someone, I love them and it's always going to be intense, no such thing as a time period
Peace man of faith
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What is "intense" love?
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I think that not everything means the same thing to everybody. Like the proverb goes, one man0s meat is anotherman's poison, or we should not speak about anybody before we walk thousand km in his shoes.
Most people do not do something like divorce out instant displeasure, to start with it is too expensive. It is more likely that they get into an instant wedding out of whatever.
We tend to criticise too much what we would not do ourselves, but for us it is very easy to do what we would do ourselves, but we might no be able to do an inch of what other people do and we do not do.
The thing is that what goes in in a marriage and what goes in within a person is very delicate, and unless one is really a very very close friend and onfident of someone who tells his feelings and his suffering from the heart or from the nervous state in whih he or she may be we know nothing and we may speak for ages, that won't solve anything. Even the person who goes through it sometimes doesn't even know what she or he is being through. May be many years later he or she grasps somethign of it or all of it.
My personal take of the thing is that I wouldn0t dare judge whether somebody should or shouldn0t have divorced even though I might have liked the two to stay married, because I might simply say something very wrong and very hurting and very unjust.
People do crazy things, but crazy marriages are far ore frequent than crazy divorces. But we do not know how even a crazy marriage is going to turn out.
As the saying goes in Spanish wdding and shroud, from heaven come down. That is, no matter what you do you may get anything you like or you do not like. Like you cannot choose death you cannot swear on a marriage that it is going to turn like or like that.
And i do not think that the fact that we succeed in marriage means we succeed in going to paradise or not. Marriage, just llike celibacy for however long, like everything else is a trial. The trial may include a mild divorce, a horrible divorce, a criminal divorce... everything continues being a trial. And one must be up for anything. And, let us not forget, success is a very numbing agent. Success in anything, including marriage, may lull us into moral or emotional laziness. We are so hapy and are such a good couple and have so beautiful children, we get carried away in our success and may not notice other things.
One likes sucess, but it is not always the est for the spiritual good, jihad of the person.
Divorce can be as great a blessing as marriage. Many people realise how cruel they have been themselves with others when they have befall them what they thought only happenned to the idiots.
I am not only not against divorce even very painful divorce, although of course we all wish for a good and loyal marriage, because divorce is a big eye opener. You no longer can look the other way, youhave to face the fact the worst yoyu feared indeed happens. God teaches in many ways. Divorce is also one.
Not to speak of so many people who marry several times and end up with very final and very lasting and good marriage.
What I mean, let us not get divorce close to the concept of sinning and not sinning. Divorce is not a sin and can be a blessing if we learn something from it.
The Qur'an which is a wonder, look look and read how kindly speaks of divorce and divorcees. Parting with honour is a great achievement. It is not something without value. It is a very great human achievement. It is good to be chivalrous with somebody we love and from whom we expect very good things. But it is much better to be so when nothing is expected only you leave the past without illwill and with dignity and repsect for every creature, starting with yourself.
Salaam
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Peace glory be to allah,
I am glad for your sake. For many people that intense love is over in a few years and replaced by a strong bond instead.
I love my wife, but we are not like newly weds.
Okay. Of course I should have said I was speaking from my own experience and point of view. I apologize.
God bless you
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Peace justamuslim,
That crazy feeling in the beginning of a relationship when you can barely think about anything else than your partner. Synonym phrase blinding love. I should maybe have used a better intensifier. My apologies.
God bless you
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Lol ok man of faith
Thanks bro
Peace
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Are y n ur partner both quran alone if I may ask man of faith
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Peace huruf,
You are right. The divorce itself is no sin, it is the underlying background and outcome of it that may be sinful.
Well, as far as I understand Quran is that you should not force your ex-wife/husband out in the street and you should treat each other amicably even when you are about to part ways. In reality though, it is not always things go like this, but a righteous person should remember this.
But I still do not like marriages where you simply see things like as if the grass is greener on the other side. As much as possible we should be trying to repair our current marriage than just giving up easily because to just escape the pain. I understand it is difficult to talk about someone else's situation, but I mean one should at least have tried for a while (unless repeated domestic violence and deception is involved). Although remember forgiveness is a blessed thing. Decide yourselves, I am not dictating, sorry if it sounds like that.
God bless you