Ramadhan dilemma: not fasting in Muslim workplace

roshan_m

Peace to All, group sun

Now, I have the following dilemma ahead of sunni ramadhan. I am a convert working in Western Europe in diplomatic mission of one of 'Islamic Republics'. Obviously, my workplace is purely sunni and all my colleagues will be fasting. Last year, I have fasted with them and most of them even invited me for iftar to their houses so it was really nice.
This year it's gonna be different. I have discovered few month ago all this hadith mumbo jumbo and realised that all islamic rituals are based on conjencture. Meanwhile I have done a lot of research and reading, including the topic of Ramadhan. I believe that the fasting of Ramadhan starts on the full moon of summer solistice and lasts for 10 days. For more details, have a look at my thread

http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9606402.0

and excellent research of brother ayman with whom I agree
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9188.0

My colleagues are professional and quite relaxed people (no hijabs, beards or funny pyjamastyle outfits) but I managed to realise through talking with them, that they are traditional sunnis and certainly wouldn't accept easily if I even dare to question authenticity of hadiths, not mentioning about ramadhan time or truth behind kaaba in mecca...

When I joined this workplace, I used to be very enthusiastic about talking with them about Islam, asking question or simply discussing diffrent aspects of it. Since I disovered the truth, I kept my mouth shut and didn't start or engaged in any religious discussion as this was too dangerous for me. Now, that the sunni ramadhan is looming large, I get more and more uneasy how I should go about it. I am sure that during this time, there will be more religious or rather ritualistic discussions about iftar, sehri, fasting, night of qadr taraweeh, eid, zakat you name it. I don't feel anymore like talking about it. i don't want them to invite me for the iftar, I don't want them to ask me stuff but I know it will be ineviteable..

So far I have identified 4 strategies how to go about it during this peculiar time

Not fasting at home, only 'fasting' at work. It was suggested by my Christian friend who used to work with them and knows the environment inside out. She told me not to say anything otherwise I will bring their hatred and resentments on me. To me however, this seems wrong as I would feel as a liar, hypocrite and coward, doing something I know I don't have to but being afraid to be truthful to what I believe is closer to the truth than their rituals.
Menstruation excuse. I could say I have the time of the month when I can't fast until the full moon and then fast the ramadhan I believe is right one. To me this option suckssss. I would feel as double hypocrite as I would be lying and what is worse, reinforcing stupid, schauvinisitic tradition of treating menstruating woman as less capable of performing religious rituals that I really hate since I realised how wrong this is.
I could just keep quiet and if they asked anything, respond with enigmatic half sentences about personal reasons for which I can't fast, leaving the interpretation to themselves. This option is somehow more realistic to me but still really challenging. Ok, I'm afraid to say that I won't be fasting, their reaction and questions for the reasons, I'm worried how they will behave towards me. Also, knowing my personality, I am an opinionated and outspoken person and I somehow fear that I won't be capable of keeping quiet if they will start questioning and asking why I don't fast what is the reason, etc etc.
Telling the truth that based on my (yes I can see those sarcastic smiles) understanding of Quran, I believe the proper ramadhan is such and such, not the one they follow. Honestly, I can feel the thunderstorms coming if I say so. Although I am a person with my own opinions, I don't want to fight about it with them and I don't feel like explaining it because not only they will not understand, they might get offended and this can create some kind of uncomfortable situation. Strategy 1 and 2 seem easy but hypocritical to me, on the other hand, strategy 3 and 4 are really challenging but seeming more right.

The good point is that I'm not going to stay at this job for too long, I am moving abroad soon and planning to give a notice during the time of Quranic ramadhan (what a coincidence!!). But still, I don't want to leave bad memories and hatred behind, i really want it to happen peacefully...

Any ideas how to solve this challenge? I will be really grateful for any suggestion of free and open minds how to deal with this situation, pleasee elektro confused

Peace

JavaLatte

My advice is praying to God to arrange the best solution for you to undergo this issue.

Good luck. group

Since I disovered the truth, I kept my mouth shut and didn't start or engaged in any religious discussion as this was too dangerous for me.

Understandable.

Peace.

good_logic

Peace roshan_m

You have got the best advice in the post above.

GOD is your answer

Your Lord says" Implore me and I will respond to you."

GOD will answer the prayer/s of His sincere believers.

GOD bless you.
Peace.

Man_of_Faith

Peace,

Depends on how bold you are, but it seems to me that you are anxious about it, so I suggest that you hide your faith from them unless you want a conflict. If you are in a so-called "islamic republic" it may also be unwise to "show your true color". If you are in fear as to their reaction I would fast my 10 days with them and hide it somehow during the rest of the days and perhaps not consume anything within their vicinity once your fast is over, but that depends on how "holy" you think it is to be exact with fasting during the right Ramadhan period. And God says you can skip fasting if it is a hardship for you and you could count that as a hardship but still fast your days but during other days, ie while your coworkers fast. It is the intention that counts and God does surely not mind a small alteration as long as you know the true decree and do not spread falsehood. That is the easiest and most convenient solution. And God is forgiving, merciful.

Lying is a bad option even if it is to save your skin, but God forgives if you come into a difficult situation and it is only to hide your faith.

Should you wish to still fast during your Ramadan then perhaps sacrifice yourself and skip eating food that they see it, but eat once you get out/home. You seem to have the issue of their iftar, but I see no issue in that tradition as long as they do not say Salam to Muhammad etc which they probably do though. Perhaps find excuses not for coming to their iftar although that could affect your relationship with them.

If you think that it may be very disadvantageous for you then you may wish to lie about some medical condition or menstruation as you seem to be a woman. Easiest of course is to look like you are fasting by abstaining during the day or bring hidden food that you eat while no one is looking. Then however you would be lying if someone asks you about your Ramadhan.

It seems as if lying is nearly inevitable if you want to stick to your faith and not reveal it to people. To have your faith now and have them believe that you are one of them is a kind of being false anyway so it does not matter much if you hide it further by eating behind their back. It is virtually the same thing. So it is confrontation or hiding your faith which means being false anyway.

I would prefer to make my stance known, but I also lived in one of the so called "Islamic republics" for a couple of years so I understand if one does not want to make a show of the true faith that one has unless with very big support among the people.

I would not worry about lying in this case even if lying is wrong because it is a lie that has lasted for a while anyway in your case. If you are like me you could not live with yourself pretending to be one of them while you have the unaffiliated faith in God and of our ancestor Abraham. If it is a matter of risking losing your job you may just look innocent and stick to what is yours, but it seems that you care about that relationship with the coworkers. If they turn aggressive towards you if you tell then they are not worth having as friends anyway and they were just opponents of God in disguise. I would not worry about them but rather worry about God.

If any person saying that they have faith in God and then turns oppressive and aggressive towards anyone they do not really have faith, but they are hypocrites, knowing or unknowing, and they are opponents of God and allies. You could say they are ignorant fools even though you may prefer not to say that to them. It is as if someone recited the recitation (Quran) to them and it went in through one ear and out through the other. They hear, but they do not understand and are deaf, blind and mindless as God puts it in the recitation. Association of partners with God has this curse connected to it. And God warned that if you obey most people (including written works) they will divert you from the path and that is because they only conjecture and guess. What is it that they have done?

"Hadith" is not narrated by God while the recitation is and yet people put faith in the manmade utterances of them while you have God "speaking" in the recording of the recitation. That is ONE fallacy of the so called had it of Muhammad. Who do you serve? God or Muhammad?

God bless you

roshan_m

Peace be upon you all, JavaLatte, good logic and Man of Faith, sun

thank you very much for your great advice, I'm praying to God to show me the right solution and make it easy for me.

Man of Faith, thank you for your input as well, I'm not living in Islamic Republic, although I have experienced that few years ago. I am based in Western Europe, so there is no physical danger for me if I show my 'true colours', i'm not a citizen of their republic so they couldn't and wouldn't do nothing about my 'apostasy' lol. I'm not afraid to lose job neither as I'm leaving them in two months to move abroad anyway for other reasons.

My only concern was severing my relations with people at the end of my period there. I want to develop my career and positive references are important to me from my boss, but if he asks me if I'm fasting I might just say I don't due to certain personal reasons (which is true after all), leaving him to interpret it the way he likes.

My co-workers are a bigger issue as I am closer with them and they would insist on asking what kind of problem I have, is it a health issue or something. I think that I'm going to tell that I'm not fasting for some reasons and then keep quiet. This seems better than lying because at least they won't invite me for iftar and won't ask questions like how was your iftar or what did you have for sehri (meal before sunrise).

I would not worry about lying in this case even if lying is wrong because it is a lie that has lasted for a while anyway in your case

I didn't lie so far, I just avoided talking about religion and when they asked if I'm going to fast ramadhan this year I said 'Yes, Insha Allah'

Silence is a good solution when words would bring storm.
Last night before going to sleep I had this thought about Mary(Miriam) who was commanded not to explain anything after giving birth to Isa. I feel that this could be right in my case as I would be truthful for myself and God and avoiding reasons for conflict...

The only challenge would be not to discuss this stuff and avoid answering their questions or answering them enigmatically without them feeling offended. I am often opinionated, adding my few cents and sometimes I even enjoy playing 'devils advocate' to heat the conversations up lol. It's amazing how God gives us individualised challenges to make us improve ourselves!!!

My great authority Albert Einstein said,
"If A equals success, then the formula isA=X+Y+Z.
X is work.
Y is play.
Z is keep your mouth shut." <<=== This one is the biggest challenge to me and I'm planning to take it ))))

Peace,

If they turn aggressive towards you if you tell then they are not worth having as friends anyway and they were just opponents of God in disguise. I would not worry about them but rather worry about God.

If any person saying that they have faith in God and then turns oppressive and aggressive towards anyone they do not really have faith, but they are hypocrites, knowing or unknowing, and they are opponents of God and allies.

God bless you

You are absolutely right, I should worry about God, God protect me!))

Thank you again for kind words and advice!

God bless you all!
M.