Marriage to a non Muslim
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that the dead guide and watch over the living from a separate plane of existence.
Some Muslims believe that too..
It might be not true but what harm does it do, if he does think so?
He asks why we can't be together despite being a good person. We both love each other very much, and I don't know what to do. Please tell me any insights you may have.
Good question...
What should he do to become a muslim according to you?
Another very good question..
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Peace.
GOD s advice in Qoran is not to break up existing marriages. Every avenue for reconciliation must be exhausted.
Seek GOD s help. Only GOD knows the true "Muslims"!Can we know the future?
GOD can sort out the problems of HIS servants if they seek HIS help with honesty and sincerity.
May the Lord help you and your husband to sort the problem.
GOD bless.
Peace. -
6 months ago, I married a man on the condition that he would convert to Islam. He agreed.
Today he confessed that he is not able to accept Islam, and he says that I may either accept him as a non Muslim or leave. He says he believes in one god, but he also believes in rebirth, and that the dead guide and watch over the living from a separate plane of existence.He asks why we can't be together despite being a good person. We both love each other very much, and I don't know what to do. Please tell me any insights you may have.
Very interesting story !
what is muslim and how to become a muslim ? which sect of muslim you want your husband to become ?
ibrahim came form a non-muslim family ?
He became muslim to allah
he did not changed his name ?
He did not said shahada to become a muslim
and this aiyat says
2128 Our Lord, and make us Muslims to You
Are these people are non muslims praying to god to make them muslim.. ...
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Hi,
What should he do to become a muslim according to you?
Accept the Quran as divine, or at least give up the belief that his ancestor has any say in his life, because I think it is polytheistic.
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Your man is not wrong in his statement concerning his faith. There is one God, but lifeless people are stuck in a cycle of reincarnation with their undeveloped "seed". Successful people ascend into angels (managers = maleikat) and are part of God's realm. They are in God and God in them, only one God in existence and no separation. Earth with its test environment is separation and one should not identify themselves with it, particularly their own flesh (i.e. the body) which is not their true self.
Divorce is not normally allowed and requires extreme cases, because "man and woman created He them and they should cleave together and become as one flesh", and after the union nothing shall tear them apart. That means in a way of clarification that they are as one soul, one person, and they shall have but one name together because they are not two individuals but one.
This does not matter to lifeless people who have not made a proper union though and do not merge properly, but above is the real way. First it is important to merge with God and then merge with your second half who has hopefully merged with God too or the marriage is invalid on God level and means nothing but is a union between two fleshs apart.
Be well
Amenuel -
Why do you guys pretend as if being a Muslim is this abstract concept?
Dear sister,
many people do not like my blunt advice, but Allah knows what is in the breasts.
I pointed out to you that verse for a particular reason the verse is commanding the believing men and women to not marry the polytheists until they have believed not until they have submitted.
There is a difference.4914 Say the Bedouins, "We believe." Say, "Not you believe; but say, "We have submitted," and has not yet entered the faith in your hearts. But if you obey Allah and His Messenger, not He will deprive you of your deeds anything. Indeed, Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
4915 Only the believers (are) those who believe in Allah and His Messenger, then (do) not doubt but strive with their wealth and their lives in (the) way (of) Allah. Those (are) the truthful."
You see these bedouins were with the believers essentially, although some were not believers yet, but they were commanded to say they had submitted. Submission is the first step, sister, and belief caused by faith entering the heart is where your partner should have been before marrying him. Not submission alone, but belief not wavered by any doubt.
Furthermore, some are telling you to stick with it, but they do not know, Allah establishes the truth by His Words.
A true advice comes with references to the Word.
Look here6010 O you who believe! When come to you the believing women (as) emigrants, then examine them. Allah (is) most knowing of their faith. And if you know them (to be) believers, then (do) not return them to the disbelievers. Not they (are) lawful for them and not they are lawful for them. But give them what they have spent. And not any blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their (bridal) dues. And (do) not hold to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask (for) what you have spent, and let them ask what they have spent. That (is the) Judgment (of) Allah. He judges between you. And Allah (is) All-Knowing, All-Wise.
If you feel he is a polytheist, then do not hold on to the bond of marriage.
Although, you have not given us many details.
Has he at least read the whole Quran? Has he tried to join you in your prayers? Has he prayed for faith to enter his heart?
Has he made a true EFFORT in your opinion?One cannot jump from polytheist to believer, one has to submit first.
Again, that is conscientiously deciding to submit to the authority of The Almighty God and His deen, despite not believing yet, until faith enters the heart.
If you did not see such a conscientious decision on his part, it might be a telling indicator, that he has not tried.While you call and worship Allah, he calls his ancestors as those besides Allah?
That does not seem right to me.Some of these other folks are not being thoughtful, I feel your concern sister.
Perhaps you can establish some sort of an ultimatum to abstain from him until he shows you due effort, if you have not seen any effort yet, to give him a chance to be true to his word and read and study the Quran.
If he loves you he should not have taken lightly the condition you placed on your marriage, so test his intention and commitment.He has already told you leave him or accept him how he is, after he has gone in unto you...that makes me a bit in rage, as if he slightly deceived and took advantage of you.
So you too give him a final lasting condition and seek help with Allah.
This is my sincerest advice
Stay strong, Peace and Love
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Why do you guys pretend as if being a Muslim is this abstract concept?
Good question hmm
He has already told you leave him or accept him how he is, after he has gone in unto you...that makes me a bit in rage, as if he slightly deceived and took advantage of you.
Here I disagree, It is she who has taken advantage of him!
We are responsible for our decisions.
peace
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6 months ago, I married a man on the condition that he would convert to Islam. He agreed.
Today he confessed that he is not able to accept Islam, and he says that I may either accept him as a non Muslim or leave. He says he believes in one god, but he also believes in rebirth, and that the dead guide and watch over the living from a separate plane of existence.He asks why we can't be together despite being a good person. We both love each other very much, and I don't know what to do. Please tell me any insights you may have.
i did a same mistake once , but in all these posts look the answers of "good logic"
thats what i did and Allah helps me after that .
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6 months ago, I married a man on the condition that he would convert to Islam. He agreed.
Today he confessed that he is not able to accept Islam, and he says that I may either accept him as a non Muslim or leave. He says he believes in one god, but he also believes in rebirth, and that the dead guide and watch over the living from a separate plane of existence.He asks why we can't be together despite being a good person. We both love each other very much, and I don't know what to do. Please tell me any insights you may have.
Peace,
I don't wish to be disrespectful but I feel in a way that you may have brought this onto yourself. It's not wise to marry someone based a certain condition. People change. People change all the time. When you marry someone, and while you're married to someone, you should be accepting of who they are, as they are. (There are limits, of course, but as you say your husband is a good person?)
If having a partner who believes in the same religion is that important to you, you need to wait to seal a life-changing commitment until you know 110% that this person is accepting and believes exactly as you do.
If he believes in one God and does good deeds I would consider him a believer. What else does he believe in? Are you able to accept it? Do either or both of you want children? Have you spoken about how you will raise them? It is your choice ultimately.
One cannot jump from polytheist to believer, one has to submit first.
Fish_launcher never mentioned that her husband is a polytheist. What's your definition of a polytheist? Do you not consider her husband a believer?
If he loves you he should not have taken lightly the condition you placed on your marriage, so test his intention and commitment.
He has already told you leave him or accept him how he is, after he has gone in unto you...that makes me a bit in rage, as if he slightly deceived and took advantage of you.
I agree he shouldn't have taken the condition lightly. We don't know how much he studied the Qur'an/Islam at their time of marriage. Maybe he was just beginning, maybe he hadn't started, maybe he was almost done. Wherever he was at in his studying, he should have been at a point where he could see himself either accepting or rejecting the beliefs. If when they got married he saw himself as ultimately rejecting Islam but married her anyway on the condition, it would be unfair yes and I would consider that him taking advantage. Otherwise, no. There are two people in a marriage. I'm sure fish_launcher and her husband are both capable of making their own assessments.
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Peace,
I agree with my brother, Hawk.
We are, of course, not privy to the entire circumstances, but it seems to me that it wasn't that important to you to begin with if you entered a contract with a stipulated, future condition which should have been met prior to the marriage taking place. If you have been able to be married to this man up until this point, well, what changed? Did you give him a timeframe for "conversion" or something?
Peace.
Sajda.
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Accept the Quran as divine, or at least give up the belief that his ancestor has any say in his life, because I think it is polytheistic.
Hi,
Among those who accept the quran as devine are as much kafirs as any other religion.
IS accepts the quran as divine but are imo all human devils.
Ibrahim had no quran, thought that some celestial bodies were Allah, but I believe he was ok -
Bender,
Ibrahim is sarcastic or ironical in that story about the celestial bodies, he does not believe them to be Allah but uses them as a comparison of the fact he does not like unreliable or unsatisfactory deities which disappears etc.
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Peace,
I agree with my brother, Hawk.
We are, of course, not privy to the entire circumstances, but it seems to me that it wasn't that important
to you to begin with if you entered a contract with a stipulated, future condition which should have been
met prior to the marriage taking place. If you have been able to be married to this man up until this point,
well, what changed? Did you give him a timeframe for "conversion" or something?Peace.
Sajda.
Exactly!
Peace,
I don't wish to be disrespectful but I feel in a way that you may have brought this onto yourself.
It's not wise to marry someone based a certain condition.I agree.
peace
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He says he believes in one god
If he says he believes in One God - isn't that = "La ilaha ilAllah"
What do you mean by Muslim? Do you mean to say he should follow a Sect? brickwall
First read the Quran to understand what's a Muslim
and then also Check this - it may be helpful http//free-minds.org/become-muslim -
6 months ago, I married a man on the condition that he would convert to Islam. He agreed.
Today he confessed that he is not able to accept Islam, and he says that I may either accept him as a non Muslim or leave. He says he believes in one god, but he also believes in rebirth, and that the dead guide and watch over the living from a separate plane of existence.He asks why we can't be together despite being a good person. We both love each other very much, and I don't know what to do. Please tell me any insights you may have.
Peace,
For now, there is no problem. When God grants you a child, that's when problems may start. The child will not know who to listen to or believe, is the mother correct or the father?
This is why primarily, the husband and wife should agree on some basic core beliefs, because the coming generation is affected in profound ways.
Otherwise, in your case and based on what you have posted, you both love each other and are good people, no reason to break something that is good. It maybe that God drifts him to better understanding and makes him critically evaluate his beliefs in the future.
I'd say continue and be patient, pray for the best.
In addition, the fact that you mention him asking you to leave if you can't accept him holding on to his peculiar beliefs casts a question mark on him as a person. The remarks of "You shouldn't have married him if you knew he had such beliefs" or questions of "Why didn't you know before you married him?" in my view are redundant. It's been done and you can't change it. You need to see what is the right way forward.
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Peace A.W,
Peace,
For now, there is no problem. When God grants you a child, that's when problems may start. The child will not know who to listen to or believe, is the mother correct or the father?
This is why primarily, the husband and wife should agree on some basic core beliefs, because the coming generation is affected in profound ways.
Agreed. Finding where they agree will be important. Children may be the biggest issue and you will have to discuss in length about this on how you will raise them.
Otherwise, in your case and based on what you have posted, you both love each other and are good people, no reason to break something that is good. It maybe that God drifts him to better understanding and makes him critically evaluate his beliefs in the future.
I agree.
In addition, the fact that you mention him asking you to leave if you can't accept him holding on to his peculiar beliefs casts a question mark on him as a person.
I don't think we can know the full story here without more explanation. I didn't interpret that sentence as such. I don't think he's asking her to leave. Not at all. In fact, the statement "He asks why we can't be together..." suggests the opposite. That particular statement implies that he wants to remain with his wife very much.
So her husband is not asking her to leave. He is offering her a choice, a way out of their marriage if she needs.
Today he confessed that he is not able to accept Islam, and he says that I may either accept him as a non Muslim or leave.
I interpret this statement as her husband knowing his wife well enough to acknowledge how important her faith is to her. He knows himself, and he knows her. He would know if it was too difficult for her to stay because of their differing beliefs, and because he understands her struggle he would accept whatever decision she made.
They both love each other, so if the marriage ends, there will be suffering. There will be pain. There is suffering and pain already as this issue dwells on both their minds. Emotions get in the way of logically thinking about situations. Her husband is being blunt, discarding emotion and giving her the facts, the only two options she has. Either they stay together or they separate. When it comes down to it, the decision will be that plain and simple. Either they can live like this in their marriage and come to a compromise, or they can't.
It's better that her husband is talking to her about it now, only 6 months into their union, rather than waiting potentially years into their marriage. By talking to her about this and being blunt and sincere, he's giving her the freedom of choice. It's her decision. Now that all the information is out in the open, she decides where they go from here.
From the statements "We both love each other very much" and "He asks why we can't be together...", it sounds like her husband genuinely cares for her enough that while he'll try to fight for them to stay together, he knows there's a limit. He knows his wife. He knows that his wife deserves complete happiness, even if that happiness isn't with him.
Now this is my interpretation from that statement so I could be wrong. But if I'm right... Your husband is a wonderful and very considerate man.
The remarks of "You shouldn't have married him if you knew he had such beliefs" or questions of "Why didn't you know before you married him?" in my view are redundant. It's been done and you can't change it. You need to see what is the right way forward.
I said what I did before with the possibility in mind that fish_launcher may be considering (getting a divorce). I said this with the assumption that there would be another marriage in the future to a man that suits her spiritually as well as in all areas of her life. I wanted to offer my own advice to prevent a similar situation from happening again, if that were to occur.