thinking about leaving Islam
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Salaamun all
Up until few years ago I used to think my faith in Islam was not based on blind imitation but rather a result of years of investigation and research. The fact that I have read a lot of books on Islam written by people whose thoughts I approved of and delving into philosophies of other writtings emphasized my conviction that I had found the truth. All my research confirmed my faith. Just like other Muslims I used to believe that to learn about anything one has to go to the source. Of course the source is Quran and the books written by Muslim scholars. Therefore I felt no need to look elsewhere in order to find the truth as I was convinced that I had already found it. As Muslims say ?Talabe ilm ba?d az wossule ma?loom mazmoom?. The search of knowledge after gaining it is foolish
This is a foolish idea. Wouldn?t it be prudent to widen our research and find out what other people have to say Going to the source makes sense only in scientific matters, because scientists are not ?believers?. They do not say something because they have blind faith. Scientists make a critical analysis of the evidence. It is very much different from religious approach that is based entirely on faith and belief.
I suppose it is my acquaintance with the western humanistic values that has made me more sensitive and whet my appetite for democracy freethinking, human rights and equality, etc. So when I read again Quran I have came across injunctions that are not al par with my newfound humanistic values I am distressed and feel very uncomfortable to read teachings like these.
After having lived for many years in the West and being received kindly by people of other religions or of no religion, who loved me and accepted me as their friend; who let me into their lives and their heart. I can no more accept the following mandates of Quran as the words of God.
Q.58 22
?You will not find any people who believe in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger??Q.3 118-120
?O you who believe! Take not as (your) bitaanah (advisors, consultants, protectors, helpers, friends, etc.) those outside your religion (pagans, Jews, Christians, and hypocrites) since they will not fail to do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal is far worse. Indeed We have made clear to you the aayaat (proofs, evidence, verses), if you understand. Lo! You are the ones who love them but they love you not, and you believe in all the Scriptures . And when they meet you, they say, ?We believe.? But when they are alone, they bite the tips of their fingers at you in rage. Say ?Perish in your rage. Certainly Allaah knows what is in the breasts (all the secrets).? If a good befalls you, it grieves them, but some evil overtakes you, they rejoice at it??Q.5 51
?O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as awliya? (friends, protectors, helpers, etc.), they are but awliya? to one another??I have found the above statements false. The evidence for me was in the Bosnia and Kosovo crisis where Christian countries waged war against another Christian country to liberate Muslims. Many Jewish doctors had volunteered to help the Kosovar refugees despite the fact that during the WWII the same Albanian Muslims took side with Hitler and helped him in his holocaust against the Jews.
I can no longer follow such manates I find in the quran and I am ashamed to be part of islam anymore.
I also find the following completely against my conscience. I love all humanity and wish everyone to be happy in this world and forgiven in the next. But my holy prophet bade me not to seek forgiveness for the unbelievers even if they are my parents and beloved ones.
Q.9 113
?It is not for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allaah?s forgiveness for the mushrikeen, even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in state of disbelief).?Quarn is full of outrageous thinks like those that give me clear proof that i need to leave Islam and seek a more understanding religion. To force people to denounce their own family to me means there are many problems in Islam and many questions need answers
I also regard the cowardice of our clerics in pushing their heads firmly in the sand and not confronting the misguided and the extremists amongst us as an affront to all that I regard as holy. If they have no courage to declare the Islamic suicide terrorists as apostates then perhaps they would be good enough to declare me as one for I would rather burn in the eternal flames of Hell than share a Paradise with the likes them.
There are unlimited number of acts of kindness that we humans can use to help each other and make this world a better place for everyone yet you do not see these in the Quran. How can the Quran be a perfect guidance from god when it lacks so many important issues?