Please Help! Don't no what to do - I believe Suicede is my best option in mycase

WhatToDo

Peace to everyone,

Please do not think that I masturbated in a public Bathroom.

I live in a The academy's boarding school, where I share a room with 3 boys. We have our own bathroom/shower room our room.

And apparently they had put a camera in the bathroom/shower room. I couldn't do it in the room because I'm not alone in the room all the time. And that's why I've do it there, because I believed it to be the most privet place I can be in. Of course I never want it for anyone to see it, because it's my body.

If we had cameras in our homes bathrooms/shower rooms what would have the our world turned?
Someone still keeps putting the video on different p*rn websites. One of them have already over ca. 9 million views. And the websites servers are located outside of my country's legal authority. So they can't take them off instantly. And everything keeps getting worse and worse.

My family are Kurds. And in our country we have a pretty big Kurdish diaspora. We have things like honor kills in our culture. I know a girl who was killed for having sexual relations with a Christian boy before marriage. She got killed because she dishonored her family and the whole community.

My brother told me that people from our Kurdish diaspora want to kill me. Because I dishonored the whole community. I know that I need to move away. I can't live my normal life anymore. But Where do I go? I'm really scared.What to do ? I want to get over this nightmare. But the people around don't allow me to do it.

I was in masjid yesterday. The Muslim people were looking at very aggressively and judgingly. I don't feel safe. My friends ignore me, except for one friend. When I try to talk to little children, Their moms take away their children from me looking at me with disgust as if I'm some sort of a pervert or a pedophile.

I was sitting in the train with my little brother and there were sitting two boys in front of us. They were smirking all the train ride. And when they were getting off, one of them told my brother that "your bro is a porn star".

My friend is from Lebanon is keep saying a Arabic word that I did not undeestand. And when I asked him, he said that he asks the God to take my soul away, as soon as possible for my own sake.

I'm afraid for my security. There is a big hostility towards me from the people of my country. What to do?
I have no one to ask for an objective opinion.

Peace to everyone

HP_TECH

Salaam,

You have a lot of questions and that is great at your age I was already corrupt by adolescence and worldly things.
I am glad to at least see that you are pondering about The Message and your Creator.

I think the best advice I can give you is to begin studying the Quran earnestly.
I am going to hand you tools to help you study the Quran.
Allah is the Only One upon Whom the Explanation of the Quran is due so seek Him and His Ligtht with your soul, mind and entire being.

Try to use translations that are not by any single interpreter seeking his own fame.
Use word for word translations like

corpus.quran.com http//corpus.quran.com/wordbyword.jsp
islamawakaned.com http//www.islamawakened.com/index.php/qur-an

Use Root concordances from corpus to better grasp the meaning of certain roots

Don't rely on the translations but double check the meaning of a translated word by checking the roots

Project Root List http//www.studyquran.co.uk/PRLonline.htm

What is your native language?

LastDay3

Salaam/Peace What-To-Do,

the only situation AL-LAH gives permission to HIS Servants to lie is when our life is in danger (=i.e. we are under threat of being murdered, or tortured, etc.) (=16/106)
So I believe, I may lawfully recommend you in your dire situation now, these

You may immediately tell those (oppressive people who would otherwise murder or torture you) that the video is fake not real,
and the person recorded in the video is not you.
Immediately have a new haircut, have a beard, eyeglasses, etc. that may give you a total new look.
Request from your one and only friend in this dire situation to help you in any way he can.
Remind him that those who save one Person's life will be rewarded by AL-LAH as he saved all Humanity. (=5/32)
I will wholeheartedly pray for you to our Lord AL-LAH; HE is the One and Only Best Protector & Best Savior.

dear Brother, just trust in AL-LAH, with all your heart,
wholeheartedly repent and return to HIM,
and you are already totally Clean and Innocent, in HIS Eyes, and in the eyes of all HIS believing Servants,
always and forever, inshaAL-LAH.

(=Quran Testament 25/70-71)

Remain in peace/salaam.

imrankhawaja

brother listen very carefully

change ur place and start a fresh life i already told you.. if you feel difficulty in it , i can give you moral support and financial support as well inshallah..

move to uk its a best place for human right nobody will dare to say you anything harrassing, i have a place alhamdulliah if u want to come here in uk live here without paying any cost like rent electricity internat ,, untill you will start finding a way out..

i will help you regarding paper matters anything whatever you need ,

pm me if you are intrested..

peace God bless you

LastDay3

brother listen very carefully

change ur place and start a fresh life i already told you.. if you feel difficulty in it , i can give you moral support and financial support as well inshallah..

move to uk its a best place for human right nobody will dare to say you anything harrassing,
i have a place alhamdulliah if u want to come here in uk live here without paying any cost like rent electricity internat ,, untill you will start finding a way out..

i will help you regarding paper matters anything whatever you need ,

pm me if you are intrested..

peace God bless you

Salaam/Peace be upon you, Imran,

I am sure, you will check everything perfect and get all the facts correct, as our Lord AL-LAH has commanded unto all of us (=9/43).
And then give that GREAT HELP, as soon as you can do it, to dear brother What-To-Do, as you wholeheartedly promised above.

May AL-LAH bless you, GREATLY for this. (=5/32 & 8/74 & ....)

Remain in peace/salaam.

imrankhawaja

Salaam/Peace be upon you, Imran,

I am sure, you will check everything perfect and get all the facts correct, as our Lord AL-LAH has commanded unto all of us (=9/43).
And then give that GREAT HELP, as soon as you can do it, to dear brother What-To-Do, as you wholeheartedly promised above.

May AL-LAH bless you, GREATLY for this. (=5/32 & 8/74 & ....)

Remain in peace/salaam.

peace.

i feel strange happiness when due to me somebody get help or get their work done... for this happiness i usually get all my chances .. and in the end i know infact i am not able to help anybody its God who provide sources to me and make a way for other person..

again and again God said in the scripture,, the one who gives from the money which i(God)provided to them,,, indirectly everything whatever i have is a blessing of God .. when i came in this world i was empty handed and bounded to the hands of community and when i will go from this world again i will be empty handed... so why not start a business with God which is profitable and peaceful..

God bless you too

HP_TECH

La ilaha illa Allah!!

In the Name of The God The Most Gracious The Most Merciful,

Do not fear brother. Patience is best for your matter. Be patient over the threats, scorn, humiliation.

The truth is brother, none of us know whether it is best for you to remain there or leave.
You are only 14 years old, you still need your parents and family's support.

Are your parents and family hostile towards you?

I doubt it will last forever.

This is just a test remain patient and put your trust in God

Something similar happened to me too back when I was young like you.

The sister of a "friend" of mine snuck into the bathroom while I was showering at his place and photographed me in the nude.
When I came out of the shower, my "friend" had hacked into my account and posted it on Facebook as my profile now this was a bunch of years ago so Facebook was not sprawling like now but some of my friends saw it and others saved it to blackmail me.

Bunch of years later no one remembers that event...except for my brother and another "friend" who jokingly hold that over my head as blackmail when we tease one another.

It will pass inshallah

Ask Allah to help you with this situation and be patient.
He will guide you to the right decision if you remain patient over what has befallen you.
Running away will in my opinion worsen your problems.
Contact authorities if you are convinced that you face a serious threat.

Timotheus

Peace be upon you, and our Lords mercy, WhatToDo

Alhamdullilah for clarifying.

I have certainly transgressed in assumption andother ways, may my lord forgive me. and for my harshness with brothers of mine, may our Lord turn our hearts back to each other with kindness and mercy.

I see that your situation is quite serious, but do not fear, if you trust in God, he will help you, and protect you from the transgressing people.

I always like to remember the story of moses, when he killed a man, and after that he said 'my Lord forgive me" and He forgave Him, He is the All-mercifull, the Ever-Merciful. After that he fled in fear of His life, because pharoah and his chiefs wanted to kill him. He went to midian, and prayed 'my Lord, i am in need of whatever help send', By the will of God, he met some women, and ended up going to see their father, and He wed one to him, in agreement for a term of work, and He ended up with a family, and blessed.

He was in fear, but his lord helped him, and he said 'for return for your mercy i will never be an assistant to the wrongdoers', God is with those who trust in Him, and He will help them. Trust in Him, and He will deliver you. He reminds us 'you will certainly be tested with some fear and hunger, but give good news to the steadfast'.

I would advise that your best option is to seek refuge in Him, and to seek to move, to get away from the wrongdoing people who may seek to harm you, and dont let satan put his fear into you, as 'satan only wants to frighten you of his allies', but they are weak, and have no power, remember that 'no harm can come to you except as God willed', Nothing happens without his permission, and He is the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful, If He wills, He will protect you, and none can harm you. I have experienced this myself, in situations where i was surrounded, and even then when i was a mushrik, He stilled saved me, again and again, he was spared my life, when i dont know how i survived some experiences, Praise be to Him.

Trust in Him, remember the day of recompense, ask forgiveness from Him, and turn to Him, as even this life is just a test, it is but the blink of an eye, just remember that, because one day we all pass on, and whether tommorow or 50 years or 100 years from now, its still just a fraction of time, and then one day very soon we will be resurrected. If you trust in God, and you turn to Him, if you leave and seek refuge elsewhere, then He will help you, if He so willed, and guide you, and that is surely better than all the world and all that is in it. And if any harm befalls us, as we seek refuge in God, and to strive in His cause, to leave from the wrongdoing people, He says he has gauranteed for us a great reward, for those who trust in Him.

If you must leave, fear not, and dont be greived, I have spent much time without a home, and with no shelter except in Him, and He provides, He gives us everything we need and more, everything i ask Him for, He gives me, and even more. I am currently striving in Gods cause and seeking mercy from Him away from family, and have no Home, except my heart, but He is so mercifull, and provides well. Even when i have been in the middle of nowhere, and see no way to get help, Crying out to Him, and all of a sudden He provides from where i never expected. Finding food, or a ride, or shelter with none of my own doing. I have been recently meditating on 'If you trust in Him, He provides from where you were not expecting' and it is so true, it is the absolute truth.

Cry out to Him, seek his aid, He is The Hearing, The Seeing, The Watchful, The Gaurdian, The Supporter, The Preserver, The LORD of the Universe, and He is the only refuge, I wish i could help, but i cannot much more than words, and advice, but I will, if God has willed, remember you and your situation in my prayer, and ask for Gods help for you, though i have no power for others from God, He is The Faithfull, The Trustworthy, and He has never let me down, even when i have let Him down.

Peace be upon you Brother, and Gods Mercy and Forgiveness, surely we all need it, and what a goal to strive for, may your Lord guide you to a refuge and a straight path. Entrust yourself to Him, He never fails in His Trusts, Praise and Glory be to God, Lord of the Universe

imrankhawaja

@ timothes handshake

excellent post .. group

may Allah keep everybody in shleter of his blessings

God bless you all

LastDay3

LastDay,

Many indications together form suspicious points and from whence I have worked. I think you are just working hard to find something to complain about regarding my linguistic use.
If you observed I never said that all my work is based on "indications". An indication is something which points in a direction to be true whereas it is not the evidence by itself.

Evidence is usually ambiguous because it is a matter of perspective and language of conveyance. If you look into the examples I gave in the previous post
you see I did not write about indication regarding Maleikat for example. It is more that the nature of the root Miim-Lam-Kaf SHOWS how it should be used linguistically and what it means.

Be well
Amenuel

Salaam/Peace Man of Faith,

All I am saying is
for me exclusively and only Scientific/Mathematic Evidences can be "true Indications" of Heavenly Origin of any Religious Instruction/Text/Teaching --(due to
the Reasons and links I clearly referred to in my previous reply to you)--

so, other than this, I do not consider none of the claims (of any Religious Movement/Doctrine/Ideology --no matter how many more/less followers they may have--
as "true Indications" to their Heavenly Origin because they are (not Indications) but only "mere Speculations" that means absolutely nothing
to a sensible/attentive/conscious/intellectual human-being who must be truly in search of Heavenly Truth --(based on nothing else but
factual, concrete and tangible Scientific/Mathematic Evidences) in this Age. That's my whole point above, dear friend Man of Faith.

When I seek to find the essential meaning of a most important Word such as (=AL-LAH, or ILAH, then Malak, or Malaikat)
I always look for it within the whole QURAN TESTAMENT, because I believe AL-LAH teaches it perfectly always within the whole QURAN TESTAMENT.
So, old or modern all lexicons are in many aspects highly confused & confusing sources, I think, and in many cases misled & misleading sources,
because of this I rarely refer to them.

In this regard, here is how I understand those most important Words,
clearly and unmistakably, within the whole QURAN TESTAMENT, now here

AL-LAH (=root A-la-ha means THE-AUTHORITY to Whom belongs "All-Praise/Glory" and "All-Judgment/Ruling,"
here and in the hereafter, forever =28/70)
ILAH (=root A-la-ha means AUTHORITY to Whom belongs "All-Praise/Glory" and "All-Judgment/Ruling,"
here and in the hereafter, forever =28/70)

Malaikat (=root Ma-la-ka means "To have Power to harm or to benefit --amliku darran aw nafan-- to someone/something =7/188)

So because that Angels have been granted by AL-LAH some Powers to harm or to benefit --amliku darran aw nafan-- to someone/something,
(but always and only by the Commandment/Permission of AL-LAH therein) (=11/81-83 & 54/37 & .....),
hence they are called Malaikat (=Those who have Powers to harm or to benefit --amliku darran aw nafan-- to someone/something).

But all Angels (=Malaikat) always uses their AL-LAH Given Powers (not according to their own wishes and desires)
but always and only according to the Commandment of AL-LAH unto them therein (=21/26-29),

If any of these Angels (=Malaikat) disobeys AL-LAH by using their AL-LAH Given Powers (not by HIS Commandment
but according to their own wishes and desires)
and thereby seek to have "All-Praise/Glory" and "All-Judgment/Ruling" other than/beside AL-LAH,
they are rightfully dismissed from the Kingdom AL-LAH as false Gods (=false Authorities) therein (=21/26-29).

Hence, Satan/Iblees (=previously who was an Angel (=Malak) thus disobeyed AL-LAH by using his AL-LAH Given Powers (not by HIS Commandment
but according to his own wishes and desires) and thus became a "Jinn" therein 18/50-51 = 21/26-29).

And ironically, this Satan/Iblees (=previously who was an Angel (=Malak) always deceives Humans (=our ancestors Adam and Eve, first of all)
by always promising them essentially these two things

he promises that they will be "immortal" (=i.e. they will never die but forever live in their celestial souls/selves in heaven and earth, first of all)
he promises that they will be "Angels" (=i.e. they will have Powers to use (not by AL-LAH's Commandment
but according to their own wishes and desires) and thereby they will be able to seek to have
"All-Praise/Glory" and "All-Judgment/Ruling" other than/beside AL-LAH as (not HIS Servants) but as HIS Partners in the Kingdom)

this is how he managed to deceive our ancestors Adam and Eve, first of all, therein (=20/115-122)
and this is how he continues to deceive many Humans in all Ages, and also in this Final Age now. (=7/19-27 & 18/50-51)

will continue to talk about this most important and fundamental Issue, soon, inshaAL-LAH.
handshake
Remain in peace/salaam.

Adam_The_Warner

Peace to you brothers,
My English is not so good so I say sorry before I try to speak

Something happened to me that I would never wish for any human.

I'm 15 years old boy from Europe. And I go to a Football Academy, where I get education and train with a football team, but I also live there. Only sometimes I go to my family, like once in 3-4 months. It was my dream since my early childhood to be a football player. And I was always thankful to God for letting me know what do I want to do in my life from an early age. I'm from a respectful family and honor means a lot for my family and for me. I always tried to be nice to everyone regardless of race or religion in my entire life. Becuz I always believed that God is one, and he does not need a religion.

However something so crazy happened that Made my life hell. I'm really embarrassed to even speak about this to you.
most of my friends have sex but because I know that it is a big sin I sometimes masturbate to not think about sexual things. And 2 months ago I was masturbating in the bathroom.and apparently someone recorded it. I have no idea how, because I chose to masturbate in the bathroom because I knew that is the place of privacy. Maybe there secret camera Idk. But someone recorded it and posted on Facebook. I could understand that soothing was wrong the next day because everyone was looking at me and someone was smiling and someone was laughing when they see me.

I did not understand first when this was happening. I understood when I saw it on Facebook. When I understood the hole situation, my whole world breaker apart. I immediately thought about my family and my future in general. I never felt so much pain that feel right now. The police found the guys who recorded it but they only got 3 months of social work as punishment. However my whole life is broken now. The police deleted the video from Facebook. However it's like a virus someone still uploads it.
On other websites and then posts the link on Facebook

. Even when I walk the streets people recognize me. I feel so betrayed. I do t think it is me who is bad for masturabting, I think it is the adult people I see on the streets that laugh and point finger at me as if I don't understand what they are gossiping about. It is them who are pedophilic for watching this. Why do people say and think that I'm bad and deserve to die and gay ?
But the worst things is that my family knows about this and I just want to die. It is feels like the video has gone viral because a lot of people react weirdly when see me.

I know that my dream of becoming a pro football player is out of question because in my case I will need to live a life of a low profile. But it is so hard to, because it is my passion. Those guys took my honor and my passion. Why do I must be alive ? Why do J must my family feel ashamed about me?

Will God forgive me if I end this life?

Is it God punched me because I did not pray Namaz?
Thank you in advance

I hope you don't think I'm a bad person

Seek refuge in God from Satan the accursed when thoughts of suicide flow into your mind.

Because if you do, you will regret it even more.

Peace.

WhatToDo

Brothers and sisters. I know I cannot take my life. So I'm only left to feel humiliated for the rest of the time. I'm nearly 15 now, do you think will my face change till I turn in my 20s, so People would stop recognizing me or I could just say that it's not me?

It's just that I never planned my fate turn into this one. My father is just dead morally. He says that is the worst thing that he could have imagined. Because even after I'll die it will affect life's of my family and relatives. That I dishonored them like no one ever did in their entire family history.

I can see adult men smiling at perversely when I'm out. This is sickening. I feel so sick even having a perfectly healthy body. I don't even know if I will ever develop into a Mentally Strong and healthy male.
What kind of legacy did my soul leave on this earth?

My mother keeps telling me a story that once she had me, that the she was in a truck and the truck fell out off the cliff. And a splinter went right through her hand bag that she was holding in her hands. And luckily(or unluckily in my case maybe) in the hand bag was there a golden watch that my uncle gave my mother as a gift. Due to this watch the splinter stop, if it wasn't for the watch the splinter would have penetrated the womb.

And there were many different instances that I should have been never born but due to some lucky accidents I did get born.

What to do with my life? Should I save money for a plastic surgery and get a new face? Is it even possible?

Peace

Bender

Brothers and sisters. I know I cannot take my life. So I'm only left to feel humiliated for the rest of the time. I'm nearly 15 now, do you think will my face change till I turn in my 20s, so People would recognizing me or I could just say that it's not me?

It's just that I never planned my fate turn into this one. My father is just dead morally. He says that is the worst thing that he could have imagined. Because even after I'll die it will affect life's of my family and relatives. That I dishonored them like no one ever did in their entire family history.

I can see adult men smiling at perversely when I'm out. This is sickening. I feel so sick even having a perfectly healthy body. I don't even know if I will ever develop into a Mentally Strong and healthy male.

Peace

Hi,

red You did not dishonored yourself or your family. Those who did that to you tried to dishonor you but all they did was dishonoring themselves.
blue They should be embarrassed for watching things they are forbidden to watch by Allah and even more for laughing at you, they are the sick people not you.
green I am sure you will.

HP_TECH

Brothers and sisters. I know I cannot take my life. So I'm only left to feel humiliated for the rest of the time. I'm nearly 15 now, do you think will my face change till I turn in my 20s, so People would stop recognizing me or I could just say that it's not me?

It's just that I never planned my fate turn into this one. My father is just dead morally. He says that is the worst thing that he could have imagined. Because even after I'll die it will affect life's of my family and relatives. That I dishonored them like no one ever did in their entire family history.

I can see adult men smiling at perversely when I'm out. This is sickening. I feel so sick even having a perfectly healthy body. I don't even know if I will ever develop into a Mentally Strong and healthy male.
What kind of legacy did my soul leave on this earth?

My mother keeps telling me a story that once she had me, that the she was in a truck and the truck fell out off the cliff. And a splinter went right through her hand bag that she was holding in her hands. And luckily(or unluckily in my case maybe) in the hand bag was there a golden watch that my uncle gave my mother as a gift. Due to this watch the splinter stop, if it wasn't for the watch the splinter would have penetrated the womb.

And there were many different instances that I should have been never born but due to some lucky accidents I did get born.

What to do with my life? Should I save money for a plastic surgery and get a new face? Is it even possible?

Peace

PLEASE READ EVERY AYAAT I AM CITING IN THIS POST FOR YOU

STOP feeling sorry for yourself young man,

You did what you did.
It may be this serves as a Sign for all of us to acknowledge masturbation is to be avoided if possible.
Indeed we are tested once or twice a cycle, I believe the degree of what we are tested is determined by what we have incurred with our own hands. What are hands incurred, are deeds we committed counted against us, which our good deeds for the cycle did not measure up to warrant pardon for Quran 9126; 4230

Allah knows the measure of all things in number including our deeds and speech! Glory be to Him!

So do not sulk or complain or whine but remain firm and grateful to Him during this trial
Indeed it is of the matter requiring determination Quran 3117

If you are ashamed by it and it ha sparked in you humility then seek to avoid it in the future.
Remain patient over what has happened and do not despair.
Only those astray despair of the Mercy of their Rabb Quran 1556
Say "Indeed to God we belong and indeed to Him we will surely return" Quran 2156
The honor and acquisition of wealth, prosperity, success in this life of the world are only illusions!
So do not despair because you think you may no longer play professional football,
Do not despair of the mockery of those who do not understand Quran 2212

Please do not let this trial make you go astray or harden your heart, endure with due patience so that you may succeed and reap the rewards that await the patient, the believing, and righteous doers in the Hereafter!

Peace and Tranquility upon you brother

Timotheus

PLEASE READ EVERY AYAAT I AM CITING IN THIS POST FOR YOU

STOP feeling sorry for yourself young man,

You did what you did.
It may be this serves as a Sign for all of us to acknowledge masturbation is to be avoided if possible.
Indeed we are tested once or twice a cycle, I believe the degree of what we are tested is determined by what we have incurred with our own hands. What are hands incurred, are deeds we committed counted against us, which our good deeds for the cycle did not measure up to warrant pardon for Quran 9126; 4230

Allah knows the measure of all things in number including our deeds and speech! Glory be to Him!

So do not sulk or complain or whine but remain firm and grateful to Him during this trial
Indeed it is of the matter requiring determination Quran 3117

If you are ashamed by it and it ha sparked in you humility then seek to avoid it in the future.
Remain patient over what has happened and do not despair.
Only those astray despair of the Mercy of their Rabb Quran 1556
Say "Indeed to God we belong and indeed to Him we will surely return" Quran 2156
The honor and acquisition of wealth, prosperity, success in this life of the world are only illusions!
So do not despair because you think you may no longer play professional football,
Do not despair of the mockery of those who do not understand Quran 2212

Please do not let this trial make you go astray or harden your heart, endure with due patience so that you may succeed and reap the rewards that await the patient, the believing, and righteous doers in the Hereafter!

Peace and Tranquility upon you brother

peace be with you all

praise be to God, good reminder brother

'sin' in the quran or dhanub has the meaning of a consequence, God lets us taste some of that, so that prehaps we will return, if we do, He is all capable to cover / hide (forgive) those consequences (sin).

masturbation is not good for our souls, and is more likely a harm, as it is a product of lust and continues the cycle of lust, doing it wont relieve the affliction of lust which is the consequence (sin) of impure thoughts, and focusing on impure things, giving into the temptation, all this should be avoided, i know for myself, as i used to be quite lustfull, that it is hard, it is an affliction in the soul, and the only thing that realy cures it is, by Gods will, enduring, and resisting, practising self restraint (Sabeer) and seeking Gods help, he is good, and now praise be to Him, it hardly even crosses my mind, and when it does, i endure, and it soon passes, restraining our desires leads to purification.

for the situation you are in now, seek Gods covering of that consequence (forgiveness of sin) and if you are sincere and return/repent and avoid, and make an efort, he will help, if he wills, and amend your soul, disregard others and their critisism, they cannot help or harm you, only God can, and he reminds us he will not change us untill we change us. put 1 tiny bit off effort into doing reformation (amalu as-salihah) and god will reward if once, ten times, even a hundred or more, and help you. this is the grace of God, and he is the possesor of the supreme grace. there is always hope, so do not despair, i used to be in despair, but god helped me because firstly, he willed, and as a grace for decided to work on reformation and enduring.

dont let satan dupe you, but turn to God alone, trust in him and do reformation/correction

peace be with you all

Comrox

Peace,

Brothers and sisters. I know I cannot take my life. So I'm only left to feel humiliated for the rest of the time. I'm nearly 15 now, do you think will my face change till I turn in my 20s, so People would stop recognizing me or I could just say that it's not me?

It's just that I never planned my fate turn into this one. My father is just dead morally. He says that is the worst thing that he could have imagined. Because even after I'll die it will affect life's of my family and relatives. That I dishonored them like no one ever did in their entire family history.

I can see adult men smiling at perversely when I'm out. This is sickening. I feel so sick even having a perfectly healthy body. I don't even know if I will ever develop into a Mentally Strong and healthy male.
What kind of legacy did my soul leave on this earth?

My mother keeps telling me a story that once she had me, that the she was in a truck and the truck fell out off the cliff. And a splinter went right through her hand bag that she was holding in her hands. And luckily(or unluckily in my case maybe) in the hand bag was there a golden watch that my uncle gave my mother as a gift. Due to this watch the splinter stop, if it wasn't for the watch the splinter would have penetrated the womb.

And there were many different instances that I should have been never born but due to some lucky accidents I did get born.

What to do with my life? Should I save money for a plastic surgery and get a new face? Is it even possible?

Peace

Attitude is really everything. You need to carry yourself high. Maintain a good posture, stand tall, smile, and try to ignore everyone who is giving you weird attention. Have confidence in yourself. If you can't ignore people who are giving you weird looks, try smiling back at them when you see them and ask them what they find so amusing. And brush off whatever they say. ("Oh, you still care about that? I don't.&quot Fake it until you make it. Fake confidence and composure until you actually start to believe in it and believe in yourself. The human mind is incredible. You can change your whole outlook on life; you can start that change now. (It won't come overnight, but you can't expect it to!)

As I said in my last post, bullies feed off your reactions. The more you give them to feed off of, the more they are going to continue. These people who are being perverted? They don't matter. Forget about them. Who cares. They have their own lives to be worrying about - They shouldn't be worried about yours. Don't let them get to you.

The more you dwell on the past, the more you think about what you can't change, the worse you're going to feel about yourself. You were born. You're here now. This event happened. It's over. You can't change any of that. So the question is What are you going to do now?

The more you dwell, the worse you are going to feel. It's the endless cycle of negativity. Don't get trapped in it forever. Break free of it now. You can change your life around by CHOOSING a better path for yourself. And that choice starts with seeing yourself in a better light.

You can do it. I believe in you!

good_logic

Peace WhaToDo.

You say,quote
What to do with my life? Should I save money for a plastic surgery and get a new face? Is it even possible?
/
I know a different way to change yourself without having to go through plastic surgery.The Christians call it Baptism- out with the old in with the new- GOD calls it -Total submission to Him-.
Yes you can easily change into this new person by letting go of your old self and start new with your Lord. He is Forgiver Most Merciful.
GOD bless you.
Peace.

Socrates

Your post was a while back so i'm guessing you feel much better. I hope you do. If not, i may have some ideas why and these ideas might apply anyway.

This world's cultures are barbaric and stupid. People go around killing each other, fighting and generally acting like fools. This not because humans or life is barbaric and stupid, it is because humanity is very immature and constantly under attack by forces that wish to keep us so.
Now, when your life is merely an extension of cultural stupidity and insipidness, or even when your life is a reactionary representation of popular culture (i.e. when you rebel against it out of frustration and the like), you are likely to feel empty, lost and frustrated many times. And then, when terrible things happen like what you told us about, it can all quickly appear to be too much.

Leave your cultural idiocy behind you. For instance, why do you speak of sex as evil? Where have YOU read this?!
There are things divinely written and given to man and there are things NOT divinely given to man. And then there are POPULAR things man speaks of AS IF they were divinely given, which they were not.
You are surrounded by ignorant people, mushrik and munafiq; it is rare for someone to leave the insanity of popular culture behind. And all these lost souls around you give you ideas, impressions and opinions that are as void of content as they are popular.

Frankly, when you speak of becoming a football player, all i can think is "Really? That's all you can think of to do?" There is so much important work to be done in the world and you wish to base your life on running around after an inflated ball with other grown men...?
Your culture does not prepare you for a life of meaning, knowledge and reason. I understand this, of course. But that very culture is itself suicidal. Did you know that man has already destroyed 30% of his arable fields in the world? Mankind is acting like idiots. Whenever your life is in line with popular culture's craziness, you are asking for misery, failure and emptiness. Many many people opt for suicide and it's no wonder, considering the insanity and inhumanity at large in the world today.

Reexamine what your life is about. Reexamine EVERYTHING. Allah gave you a brain; use it.
Do not use your brain to embrace popular insanity but then approach Allah only when you have worked your way into a corner. Always lead a life of compassion, truth and reason, for Allah did not give you life that you might waste it or throw it away, either by killing yourself of by running around behind a ball.

good_logic

Peace Socrates.
Very appropriate philosophy "Socrates". Sound advice.

Yes some "good logic" in your post.

The human has always been rules "Bender" and nowdays ,happy with this "Hi- TECH" life, man has become lost in " Savage" ideas ,selfishness and greed. Gone is the "Man Of Faith".

Some serious pondering or "Waks" in the heads are needed for this and the next generations to wake up and reflect.

Are the present priorities the right choices? Why?
Critical thinking ,developing an eye for detail like a "Hawk" questioning,analysing,comparing...etc will at least force some to stop and think

4333
If it were not that all the people might become one (Material seeking/selfish and greedy...) congregation, we would have granted everyone who disbelieves in the Most Gracious mansions with silver roofs, and stairs upon which they could climb.

4334
Their mansions would have impressive gates, and luxurious furnishings.

4335
Also many ornaments. All these are the temporary materials of this lowly life. The Hereafter - at your Lord - is far better for the righteous.

Wrong priorities indeed.
GOD bless you.
Peace.

HP_TECH

Peace Socrates.
Very appropriate philosophy "Socrates". Sound advice.

Yes some "good logic" in your post.

The human has always been rules "Bender" and nowdays ,happy with this "Hi- TECH" life, man has become lost in " Savage" ideas ,selfishness and greed. Gone is the "Man Of Faith".

Some serious pondering or "Waks" in the heads are needed for this and the next generations to wake up and reflect.

Are the present priorities the right choices? Why?
Critical thinking ,developing an eye for detail like a "Hawk" questioning,analysing,comparing...etc will at least force some to stop and think

wow
yes