Handshake

si_di

Salam to all ,
There is a hadith linked with a vers of the quran which indicates that the Prophet did not shake Hands with woman according to some ulama.
Aischa, the wife of the Prophet said 'When the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the Prophet they would be examined in accordance with the words in the Quran

"O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay?ah (pledge of allegiance), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood , and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf then accept their Bay?ah (pledge of allegiance), and ask Allah to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful".

Any of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for giving their oaths of allegiance. When they declared their commitment to do so, the Prophet would say to them, "You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."
I swear by Allah, the Prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration. I swear by Allah, the Prophet never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally. '

But is this habit not contradicted to sura 486"When ye are greeted with a greeting, greet ye with a better than it or return it. Lo! Allah taketh count of all things."

If handshake is a form or part of greeting then this ayat is abbrogating the first ayat mentioned above .And if the custom is to bow down like in Asia ,i bow too and maybe a second time or third to greet in better return?

good_logic

Peace.
6012 does not mention any handshake!!! Why do some people mix and match to confirm some odd stories that might be fabricated?

The verse has nothing to do with handshakes full stop. The verse does not mention any handshakes.

So how can it be linked to greeting(486)?

Therefore,whatever assumptions/stories/guesswork..that are made regarding 6012 are irrelevant. The verse has nothing to do with how greetings are performed . No issue or argument follows.
GOD bless.
Peace.

huruf

I like milk.

When I am thirsty I drink water.

Are those two sentences contradictory? Obviously not and the two ayas quoted are not contradictory.

On the other hand, while some hadiths are not significant (for me in the cases I might understand them, this hadith that has been quoted I find that it has a lot of significance, because I think we all have read or heard of purported gurus or male sect leaders or proselitists that seet out women for the gurus usage and abuse.

So that hadith in fact what it amounts to is that the prophet took good care of not misleading or give any possibility to the idea that he was trying to gain some special favours from women on account of him being the prophet (or "sect leader&quot. Nothing to do with greetings or other social behaviour.

Salaam

Cerberus

this is also a men's issue, because it's ridiculously annoying to try to greet people and then there is some girl say " I DONT SHAKE HANDS " out of nowhere
whatever

si_di

Salam ,

I see this ayats has nothing to with eachother.

So this Antihandshake was specially performed for the Prophet like the veilissue of the Prophet females Is this what you are saying Huruf?

So when did it become a custom not to shake Hands with the opps Gender if there is not an order in the Book?

Man_of_Faith

Salam ,

I see this ayats has nothing to with eachother.

So this Antihandshake was specially performed for the Prophet like the veilissue of the Prophet females Is this what you are saying Huruf?

So when did it become a custom not to shake Hands with the opps Gender if there is not an order in the Book?

It stems from doctrinal ideas about minimizing the arousal which may occur in either gender when interacting with each other. It has perhaps taken ridiculous proportions and people consider it to be zealous divine laws but it is rather a courtesy between each gender to be of a help.

I find that to be handshaken is not a right of any individual and one has to have empathy why a male does not wish to handshake a female and vice versa. There are other ways of showing one has a friendly attitude.

Besides, why must humans always have to go physical to show care. Humans carry diseases and you never know when you encounter someone diseased and you might not know I'd you are diseased yourself. Better to minimize body contact with everyone in the world.

Be well
Amenuel

HP_TECH

Salam to all ,
There is a hadith linked with a vers of the quran which indicates that the Prophet did not shake Hands with woman according to some ulama.
Aischa, the wife of the Prophet said 'When the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the Prophet they would be examined in accordance with the words in the Quran

"O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay?ah (pledge of allegiance), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood , and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf then accept their Bay?ah (pledge of allegiance), and ask Allah to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful".

Any of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for giving their oaths of allegiance. When they declared their commitment to do so, the Prophet would say to them, "You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."
I swear by Allah, the Prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration. I swear by Allah, the Prophet never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally. '

But is this habit not contradicted to sura 486"When ye are greeted with a greeting, greet ye with a better than it or return it. Lo! Allah taketh count of all things."

If handshake is a form or part of greeting then this ayat is abbrogating the first ayat mentioned above .And if the custom is to bow down like in Asia ,i bow too and maybe a second time or third to greet in better return?

What kind of foolish thread is this?

You are speculating about nonsensical things and then because of your own lack of knowledge and common sense you dare suggest abrogation....

Turn to Allah if you are a believer

huruf

Salam ,

I see this ayats has nothing to with eachother.

So this Antihandshake was specially performed for the Prophet, simply it is narrated like the veilissue of the Prophet females Is this what you are saying Huruf?

So when did it become a custom not to shake Hands with the opps Gender if there is not an order in the Book?

No I am not saying that at all. Nothing was performed for the Prophet. It is merely stated in hadith that the vow of allegiance to the Prophet was performed by verbal expression without any need that the prophet and the vower touched.

I speculated that the purpose of that hadith was to convey that that way it was dispelled the gossip that the Prophet might take advantage of any familiarity to gain something of the women vowers of allegiance to him. Not anything special for him, but a way of dispelling the possibility of gossip may be.

Of course, it may be also understood that for those women who were well acquainted with him, the greetings would be the customary.

How the prohibition of shaking hands come about I have no idea and also I do not have any curiosity. How each person greets other persons I guess it is a matter of the degree of familiarity, of the degree of comfort of those involved and of the customs of the environment.

Salaam

si_di

@Huruf
Thank you for your point of view

@HP Tech
Yes,I do have a lack of knowledge in this theme and i would like you to help me to understand how to behave if you are in a Situation to shake Hands or not this i really bothering

Zulf

@HP Tech
Yes,I do have a lack of knowledge in this theme and i would like you to help me to understand how to behave if you are in a Situation to shake Hands or not this i really bothering

I'd say

Do what you are comfortable with doing.
Shake hands with the opposite sex if you find it ok.
Don't do it if you don't feel ok with it.
Don't force a custom unto another if it makes them feel uncomfortable.
Be socially sensible. Evaluate the situation and act accordingly.
Don't be a dogmatic donkey. Your soul won't be corrupted if you sidestep your normal habits, and avoid shaking hands for once. Also, your soul won't be corrupted if you do shake hands when you normally wouldn't.

It all becomes easier when we view ourselves as on the same/equal level as other people. Our religion doesn't make us better people. If we think our religion makes us better, then we are actually worse.

Peace sun

huruf

@Huruf
Thank you for your point of view

You are welcome, si di.

Salaam

Man_of_Faith

I'd say

Do what you are comfortable with doing.
Shake hands with the opposite sex if you find it ok.
Don't do it if you don't feel ok with it.
Don't force a custom unto another if it makes them feel uncomfortable.
Be socially sensible. Evaluate the situation and act accordingly.
Don't be a dogmatic donkey. Your soul won't be corrupted if you sidestep your normal habits, and avoid shaking hands for once. Also, your soul won't be corrupted if you do shake hands when you normally wouldn't.

It all becomes easier when we view ourselves as on the same/equal level as other people. Our religion doesn't make us better people. If we think our religion makes us better, then we are actually worse.

Peace sun

That means you think a person due to spiritual reasons should not have to shake hands with whom they do not wish?

It is sad one is regarded as rude if they do not shake hands.

Be well
Amenuel

Aladin_from_Azra_tribe

Bismillah

Word "furooj" should mean "gaps" and in this case it's any gap in our body. It can be gap between fingers too.
If mu'minoon find that this means that they should guard these gaps (between fingers), because they can be sexual stimulation, then they should avoid handshake.

Allah swt knows best

Zulf

That means you think a person due to spiritual reasons should not have to shake hands with whom they do not wish?

It is sad one is regarded as rude if they do not shake hands.

Be well
Amenuel

Yes I know.

I find it stupid when "westerners" come to "muslim countries" and insist on shaking hands with everyone of the opposite sex just to make a statement.
I also find it stupid when "muslims" refuse to shake hands in "western" locations, usually when meeting someone for the first time, just because they are too hung up in fear from their own religion.

So, nobody should be forced into something,
but we should also not be rigid about things... which often means we put ego before community.

Cheers

virginia

I so wanna shake your hand right now. handshake

I hope you did not make manicure because i just read it could be sexual stimulation hypno

I guess i'll end up in hell with my beautician &

Btw i absolutely agree with Zulf

HP_TECH

@HP Tech
Yes,I do have a lack of knowledge in this theme and i would like you to help me to understand how to behave if you are in a Situation to shake Hands or not this i really bothering

Salaam,

First and foremost I apologize if I came off as rude.
I think that this is one of those yellow heifer moments.
Where we get so fixated on the unimportant tiny details and fail to look at the bigger picture.
I think it's okay to wonder about such things but to bring Hadith and the whole contradiction thing was a stretch for me, I am very nit-picky when it comes to believers speaking about Quran... you know it's your Lord's Words... there are no contradictions.

May I ask, what bothers you about this topic?
Where do you live?
Have you never shook hands before?
Are you afraid it might feel stimulating?
Did shaking a guy's hand make you nervous, flutter?

People usually know if you are going to shake hands with them
Sometimes if I don't want to touch a friend I'll just waive at them before they get near me, so that I already greeted them

I would like to hear more clearly about your situation

si_di

@Aladin
Is this an Ayat what you have quoted?I know about an ayat that says to lower your gaze in front of a Stimulation and that is for some Scholar the reason( i belive i read it somewhere)why handshake is forbidden with the opp sex .They deducted from lowering the gaze to evenmore prohibiting the handshake with opp sex.Or am i wrong?

Aladin_from_Azra_tribe

@Aladin
Is this an Ayat what you have quoted?I know about an ayat that says to lower your gaze in front of a Stimulation and that is for some Scholar the reason( i belive i read it somewhere)why handshake is forbidden with the opp sex .They deducted from lowering the gaze to evenmore prohibiting the handshake with opp sex.Or am i wrong?

Yes, it's from 2430. Interesting part means "and protect their FUROOJ" and it's "gaps", as I know. It's any of gaps, since it's plural, not just those who're different for males and females.

Since, it is "tell to mu'minoon" I've found that we should understand what it means for us and it can differ. If we shake hands with 90 yo woman I think there's no harm, but if we shake hands with some attractive young woman maybe it can be. I don't know, this should be personal and we should guard ourselves for sure.

If there's some other view on "furooj", please come with it, otherwise don't laugh, it's dangerous.

Allah swt knows best.

Cerberus

If we shake hands with 90 yo woman I think there's no harm, but if we shake hands with some attractive young woman maybe it can be.

You said it yourself. some attractive young woman, if you happen to get aroused by shaking her hand, know that it is because deep down your mind, you consider her as an attractive young woman and you also consider a chance of mingling with her (or whatever the hell you got in mind)...deep down your mind, not because of the hand shake itself. )

Zulf

You said it yourself. some attractive young woman, if you happen to get aroused by shaking her hand, know that it is because deep down your mind, you consider her as an attractive young woman and you also consider a chance of mingling with her (or whatever the hell you got in mind)...deep down your mind, not because of the hand shake itself. )

Indeed.

The hand shake won't turn anyone into an adulterer or rapist.
And a hand shake won't make your mind think stuff it didn't already indulge in.
If someone cannot handle a hand shake with an attractive person, then the issue is certainly not the hand shake itself, and it won't be the hand shake's be or not-be that will determine what comes after (physically or mentally).

What would the difference be between these two scenarios, I wonder?

You (man) meet (for the first time), greet (without shaking hands) and talk to a woman you find attractive.
same, but you shake hands when you first meet.

Will there be a huge difference???

In general, people do or don't shake hands with the opposite sex simply due to how they were raised. Culture programs you. But then we start rationalizing about it, giving reasons and excuses as if we made a choice about what cultural programming we wanted to receive in life. It's better to just chill, and not judge. Be friendly and don't fear so much.

Peace