Marrying without parents' approval - Need some guidance
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Salaam everyone!
I need some thoughts / advice please..
So I'm from a Sunni background but have been a Quranist for over 10 years now. My parents know I follow only the Quran and of course worry that I'm going to hell ) Met a guy (thru my parents btw) who's not from a Sunni background (to get the context, consider a Shia who most Sunnis consider as non-Muslims). My parents allowed us to talk only due to my "advanced age". He's not religious at all which honestly bugs me, but at least this means he's open to the whole Quranist concept instead of automatically thinking I'm a horrible person because of that, as many Sunnis would.
Well we talked, and decided to get married. Yay, right? Nope. After (reluctantly) allowing us to talk earlier, now my parents have gone the other way and say they cannot accept this guy since "he's not Muslim". Never mind the fact that in their thoughts, I'm not a Muslim either.
I'm so confused - I don't want to go against my parents or hurt them, but I think they're being ridiculous here. If the same guy was Sunni, they'd have no problems whatsoever agreeing to him.
The major thing that's holding me back is his lack of religious leanings. Which need not be all negative as I mentioned earlier. We're compatible in general in other ways as far as I can see.
If somebody else asked me this question, I'd say never hurt your parents, be patient etc. BUT I mentioned my advanced age (trust me, it really is advanced) so I worry that if I let go of this one, I wouldn't meet someone else on time to have kids. Some part of me says having kids should not be my main worry, it should be that the guy is not religious (he believes in doing good but does not think religion is all that great based on what the religious people are up to).
My guy and I are fighting since he believes I won't get married without my parents agreeing (which they won't) and he accuses me of wasting his time. I want some more time to hopefully convince them, cuz no matter how I try I cannot bring myself to go marry him without their consent, no matter how reluctantly given.
I need some perspective here. Please help!
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The main question is whether you yourself are convinced.
I personally do not like the "wasting his time" bit, but I am not there, so I don't have the whole set to judge. I guess you are also wasting your time, which brings me again to the how much convinced you are. You do not seem enthusiastic about him, which ay be good to a certain extent but not good enough from other point of view.
Finally I think, it is you who is "the problem". I mean are you really honest to yourself? That is the impression I get that you do not commit not even to yourself. Even to make a mistake one should be committed so that after you do not feel really like an idiot and on top of it guilty.
At any rate I wish all the best.
Salaam