Marriage and Sexuality
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Asalaamu Alaikum,
Okay guys. I have a few...ahem...detailed questions about sexuality and Qur'an. From my knowledge, the Qur'an has put very few limitations on sexuality within legal marriage. Before I go into detail about my inquiries which may seem extremely explicit and socially unacceptable for most readers, I just wanted to make sure that it was okay to openly discuss sexuality (in the context of marriage) in this forum. Since I am new, I don't want to break any rules or anything.
Is this public forum appropriate?
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Peace salikahDC,
and welcome to the forum.
Since I am new, I don't want to break any rules or anything.
As long as you dont break any of the following forum rules, you should be good to go.
- Mind your language (foul and/or obsene langauge will not be tolerated).
- Respect other users (this includes personal insults or remarks).
- Do not repeat posts that have been moved or deleted.
- Post in the correct category (posts in the wrong category risk being deleted entirely)
- Do not use multiple usernames.
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Alright...here it goes, ya'll.
Okay. First of all, I am a firm believer that in between the Left Perspective and the Right Perspective, there is the TRUE perspective. From being exposed to Christianity and Sunni Islam, I have seen the far right. So I wanted to take a trip on the left side of things.
First, let me preface with the few Qur'an verses pertaining to marriage and sexuality that I know. Please feel free to add more if you know of any.
. Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you .have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not .been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
. Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you. These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.
. Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they .commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that .for the free women.* Marrying a slave shall be a last .resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
"If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship. " (Quran 43)
"You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage, nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful." (Quran 4129).
2222-223 ....ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Fod. For God love those who turn to him constantly and He love those who keep themselves pure and clean....your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how you will.....
So, with all of that said, lets look at some scenarios, shall we?
- Can two cousins get married?
- God said that men can have their women any way they please, anytime, and anyplace. Okay. Is it alright for a married couple to have sex in public places?
3.Does a married couple have to have intercourse in private? For example, can married couples have sexual intercourse in the same space at the same time? Can people of the same relation (i.e. brothers, sisters, sister in laws, brother in laws, etc) have sex in the same space at the same time ( I ask this because the Qur'an does say that women are allowed to relax their dress code when you are around relation and, if taken literally, does that mean we can walk around topless in front of relation? Also, I am not insinuating that the couples can have sex with one another). - Is anal sex allowed in marriage?
So, yes, the above question are definitely going against the "moral fibers" of marriage and sexuality as we know it in Western and traditionally Islamic societies. However, from a submission standpoint, I think that the aforementioned scenarios are worth pondering.
Okay. So what's YOUR verdict? Got some more scenarios? Throw them in for analysis.
peace
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Salam
- God said that men can have their women any way they please, anytime, and anyplace. Okay. Is it alright for a married couple to have sex in public places?
I don?t think they can because they have to obey this commandment
"And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, (with their Khimar) and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed." 2431
Regards
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- Is anal sex allowed in marriage?
I read that it is allowed, but I'm also doubting that. Can somebody show us a surah that says that it's allowed?
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- Is anal sex allowed in marriage?
I read that it is allowed, but I'm also doubting that. Can somebody show us a surah that says that it's allowed?
I honestly don't see the point in anal ewww... I was having a discussion with a fellow free-minder and she had the surah which stated that sodomy was forbidden, but I don't remember it. If anyone could shed more light on this issue that would be great.
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- Is anal sex allowed in marriage?
I read that it is allowed, but I'm also doubting that. Can somebody show us a surah that says that it's allowed?
Peace Latifah,
The word cultivation/harth (2223) is not a coincidence but it is used as example/mathal since the uterus is the receptacle of the seed like the garden which keeps the seeds and turns them into flowering plants.
The God is addressing men in 2222-223 to prevent them from wrong way about their intimate relations..
FM's translation
2222.And they ask you about menstruation? Say ?It is harmful, so retire yourselves sexually from the women during the menstruation, and do not approach them until they are cleansed. When they are cleansed, then you may approach them as God has commanded you.? God loves the repenters and He loves the cleansed.
- Your women are a cultivation for you. So approach your cultivation as you wish towards goodness. And be aware of God and know that you will meet Him, and give good news to the believers.
Shabir's translation
2222 They ask you about women?s courses. Say, ?It is an inconvenient condition. So keep away from intimacy with them during their courses. Once they are clear past it, you may approach your wives for intimate relations in the manner designed by Allah. Allah loves those who make mends and keep their minds and conduct clean.?
2223 Remember, that women in the society are the guardians of your future generations, just as a garden keeps the seeds and turns them into flowering plants. So, whenever you meet with women socially, treat them with respect, keeping the aforementioned principle in mind. This conduct will go a along way to insure the betterment of the future generations. Send forth good today for tomorrow. Be mindful of Allah?s Laws and know that you will, one day face Him. O Messenger! Give good news to the believers.
I understand this part "then you may approach them as God has commanded you." like "come to the homes from their main doors. And be aware of God that you may succeed."(2189) and the example provided in 2223 excludes annal sex, IMO.
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- Is anal sex allowed in marriage?
I read that it is allowed, but I'm also doubting that. Can somebody show us a surah that says that it's allowed?
Peace Latifah,
The word cultivation/harth (2223) is not a coincidence but it is used as example/mathal since the uterus is the receptacle of the seed like the garden which keeps the seeds and turns them into flowering plants.
The God is addressing men in 2222-223 to prevent them from wrong way about their intimate relations..
FM's translation
2222.And they ask you about menstruation? Say It is harmful, so retire yourselves sexually from the women during the menstruation, and do not approach them until they are cleansed. When they are cleansed, then you may approach them as God has commanded you. God loves the repenters and He loves the cleansed.
- Your women are a cultivation for you. So approach your cultivation as you wish towards goodness. And be aware of God and know that you will meet Him, and give good news to the believers.
Shabir's translation
2222 They ask you about womens courses. Say, It is an inconvenient condition. So keep away from intimacy with them during their courses. Once they are clear past it, you may approach your wives for intimate relations in the manner designed by Allah. Allah loves those who make mends and keep their minds and conduct clean.
2223 Remember, that women in the society are the guardians of your future generations, just as a garden keeps the seeds and turns them into flowering plants. So, whenever you meet with women socially, treat them with respect, keeping the aforementioned principle in mind. This conduct will go a along way to insure the betterment of the future generations. Send forth good today for tomorrow. Be mindful of Allahs Laws and know that you will, one day face Him. O Messenger! Give good news to the believers.
I understand this part "then you may approach them as God has commanded you." like "come to the homes from their main doors. And be aware of God that you may succeed."(2189) and the example provided in 2223 excludes annal sex, IMO.
I totally agree with you!
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. Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you .have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not .been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
- Can two cousins get married?
I think if it's not prohibited in verse 423 - 25 they can, because everything is mentioned except for that.
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. Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you .have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not .been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
- Can two cousins get married?
I think if it's not prohibited in verse 423 - 25 they can, because everything is mentioned except for that.
You are correct; the God has made lawful for us in marriage daughters/sons of our paternal uncles and aunts
3350 O Prophet! Behold, We have made lawful to you your wives to whom you have given the marital gift, and those women who have sought asylum with you and signed the marital contract (610). Also lawful for you in marriage were daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts who had migrated with you. And lawful for you is a believing woman who offers herself freely to the Prophet and whom the Prophet might be willing to wed. This latter is but a privilege for you, and not for other believers. We have already made known what We have decreed regarding their wives and women who have sought asylum in their homes. This arrangement is designed to ease any social difficulties on you (O Prophet, as the Head of the State). Allah is Absolver of imperfections, Merciful.