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  1. Home
  2. Family Issues
  3. Marriage & Divorce
  4. Difference in partners life style

Difference in partners life style

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • X Offline
    X Offline
    Xtionfuse
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I've been brought up in Sunni Muslim family in India and we were thought music is haram. My mother and sistes always kept hijab. I got married to "modern Muslim" girl. She's all any man can ask for, talented , loving, caring, amazing cook, funny any man can ask for alhamdullilah.

    However there a few things I can't accept, she's least even interested in islam, and she keeps dancing to music all day long, and dresses are not moderate for a muslim. I don't mind it sometimes, but my home doesn't seem like a muslim . I tried explaining, but she's thinks I am taking away her freedom.

    Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.

    Any thoughts and suggestions are most welcome

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    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jkhan
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I've been brought up in Sunni Muslim family in India and we were thought music is haram. My mother and sistes always kept hijab. I got married to "modern Muslim" girl. She's all any man can ask for, talented , loving, caring, amazing cook, funny any man can ask for alhamdullilah.

      However there a few things I can't accept, she's least even interested in islam, and she keeps dancing to music all day long, and dresses are not moderate for a muslim. I don't mind it sometimes, but my home doesn't seem like a muslim . I tried explaining, but she's thinks I am taking away her freedom.

      Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.

      Any thoughts and suggestions are most welcome

      Peace brother...

      Just don't irritate her... Just leave her in her way... All you have to do is just pleasantly ask her to read and understand Quran... Don't stress...

      And live your life peacefully... Don't bother of her dancing and her life style... Muslim is not in tradition but Muslims is in surrendering to God... If you don't feel that your home is no more muslim.. It doesn't matter...
      Her life she is responsible and your life you are responsible... Each will have their guidance if God wills... So don't lose your wonderful wife...

      If I am you, I will live my own life and an ideal life for myself and to show her but in truth hoping she would learn something from me... Live your life according to Quran, so as long as the lives with you she may have a chance to ponder through your honesty, piousness and God belief...

      Pray for her guidance if you feel she is not guided... But don't judge her from what she does externally... Who knows her heart... God judges our deeds.. So be together.. Take it easy...

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      • T Offline
        T Offline
        tlihawa
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Salaam,
        I also experienced the same thing as you.
        When I dated the woman who later became my wife today, I was a devout Sunni. My girlfriend at that time was not a devout person and did not follow the teachings of the Sunni religious leaders. She rarely prays and fasts and was not interested in religious matters. But she was a very generous person, likes to help others. From her, I learned a lot about kindness and generosity.

        And then I got enlightenment. I found the true path of monotheism by abandoning the teachings of the Sunni priests. I just stick to the Quran and the books that Allah sent down before. And the hadiths are not one of them

        With the guidance of the Qur'an I was able to find that what my girlfriend did before, was closer to the truth than what I did before.

        If the Sunni priests say that music is haram, then I will ask back which verse in the Quran says that music is haram?

        This conversion to straight path, discover the true Islam will open a very wide discussion space, who actually runs Islam or at least closer to the true Islam.

        Right now my wife is the first person to strictly forbid me to bribe the police when I get a ticket, she will also be very angry if I rely on other human beings in the wrong way just to make my business easier. For me, that's Islam.

        I don't know what you believe in now, but since you asked in this forum where most of the members are people who are looking for the true meaning of Islam, so I say welcome and congratulations on exploring the truth.

        Peace

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        • S Offline
          S Offline
          Sarah
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Peace

          Free-minds is a site based on following the Qur'an alone without hadith. The Qur'an does NOT forbid music or singing. It doesn't forbid dancing either and if it's just at home, that's totally allowed.

          Also, there is no compulsion in religion. Some men try to control their wives. I am not saying you're like that but please don't become one of those men. Every human being has a right to live their life the way they choose to live it.

          Maybe just appreciate her as a person? See all the good points and focus on those. Remember, there can be music and dancing in a Muslim household because it is not forbidden in the Qur'an.

          'Say “Who has forbidden the nice things that God has brought forth for His servants and the good provisions?” Say “They are meant for those who believe during this worldly life, and they will be exclusive for them on the Day of Resurrection.” It is such that We explain the revelations for those who know.'

          'You shall not invent lies about God by attributing lies with your tongues, saying "This is lawful and that is forbidden." Those who invent lies about God will not succeed.'

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          • WakasW Online
            WakasW Online
            Wakas
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Good thing she's very neutral when I talk about islam. Sits with me as long as I speak listens attentively.

            What do you talk to her about? You may find this site useful
            https//misconceptions-about-islam.com/

            All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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            • S Offline
              S Offline
              SarahY
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              You knew this before you married her.

              Maybe ask yourself, why does it bother you?

              And what is a muslim home? and how can you contribute to making that idea happen.

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