Anyone else worried that because there are few Quran alone Muslims...
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Peace
...that you will have to settle for someone you're not in love with or even attracted to? It's a scary thought. Being able to marry people of the book seems very specific too and also very difficult to come across i.e. true Christians etc. who don't commit shirk (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong).
Marrying a Sunni? Isn't that what we got away from? They usually just want to drag us back to their beliefs and you know how controlling some Sunni families can be.
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A righteous monotheist is a good option. I don't think they have to label themselves "Christian" or "Jewish" or "Muslim" etc.
Reminded me of these posts
https//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9599518.msg233507#msg233507
https//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9609970.msg425460#msg425460 -
Peace
...that you will have to settle for someone you're not in love with or even attracted to? It's a scary thought. Being able to marry people of the book seems very specific too and also very difficult to come across i.e. true Christians etc. who don't commit shirk (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong).
Marrying a Sunni? Isn't that what we got away from? They usually just want to drag us back to their beliefs and you know how controlling some Sunni families can be.
Marriage is about duty not love and attraction. Yes I agree it would be preferably to marry someone who you're also physically attracted too but it is very rare these days to find someone who is attractive AND a good muslim. This life is very brief. Don't make a big deal about it. Marry who your capable of marrying and if you cannot then don't just don't. Get pets. rotfl God is the best provider. There will be spouses in paradise for God's servants. Do not be troubled.
Regards,
Kevin.
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Marriage is about duty not love and attraction. Yes I agree it would be preferably to marry someone who you're also physically attracted too but it is very rare these days to find someone who is attractive AND a good muslim. This life is very brief. Don't make a big deal about it. Marry who your capable of marrying and if you cannot then don't just don't. Get pets. rotfl God is the best provider. There will be spouses in paradise for God's servants. Do not be troubled.
Regards,
Kevin.
Peace
'Marriage is about duty not love and attraction'
Says who? It is about love, attraction and a future family. Who in their right mind marries just to be dutiful? A marriage without love or affection is not what a proper marriage is or should be about. Marriage is not a business transaction. If you think women have to 'obey' their husbands then you have misinterpreted the Quran on this matter (as far as I know). This sounds like a Sunni mentality. Remember, women are humans too. They're individuals who also want a life. They're not here to serve men. Being dutiful is about serving God, not men (or women).
In the Qur'an it says you should marry who you like at least
'...marry the women you like...' 43
'And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.' 3021
As you can see, affection, love and kindness are very important. It's better to be single than to be in a loveless marriage, that bit is true.
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A righteous monotheist is a good option. I don't think they have to label themselves "Christian" or "Jewish" or "Muslim" etc.
Reminded me of these posts
https//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9599518.msg233507#msg233507
https//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9609970.msg425460#msg425460True, I agree. Thanks for the links.
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Peace
'Marriage is about duty not love and attraction'
Says who? It is about love, attraction and a future family. Who in their right mind marries just to be dutiful? A marriage without love or affection is not what a proper marriage is or should be about. Marriage is not a business transaction. If you think women have to 'obey' their husbands then you have misinterpreted the Quran on this matter (as far as I know). This sounds like a Sunni mentality. Remember, women are humans too. They're individuals who also want a life. They're not here to serve men. Being dutiful is about serving God, not men (or women).
In the Qur'an it says you should marry who you like as least
'...marry the women you like...' 43
'And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.' 3021
As you can see, affection, love and kindness are very important. It's better to be single than to be in a loveless marriage, that bit is true.
Marriage described by the scriptures even the Bible teaches that marriage is about duty not physical attraction.
665 It may be that he would divorce you, then his Lord will substitute other wives in your place who are better than you; submitting, believing, dutiful, repentant, worshipping, devout, mature and youthful.
Men and women doing their duty is a form of love and mutual respect for one another. A man is supposed to be strong, capable both economically and physically to support his family and protect them. Duty does not mean you can't be affectionate or you can't be kind. A husband that follows God's teachings knows that he has to be kind to his wife/wives. This is mentioned in the Quran. However the disney notion of "love" is not taught in any of the scriptures. Why? Probably because it's not as perfect as in the disney movies.
The love women and men seek like in those 'romantic' movies is a myth, just vanity. This is mentioned in the Quran...
5720 Know that this worldly life is no more than play and amusement, and boasting among you, and an increase in wealth and children. It is like plants that are supplied by an abundant rain, which appear pleasing to those who do not appreciate. But then they dry up and turn yellow, and become useless hay. In the Hereafter there is severe retribution, and forgiveness from God and approval. This worldly life is no more than a deceiving enjoyment.
Ultimately everyone will be judged by God individually not as a couple. So "love" is not a rational concept for a companionship that ultimately would result in both parties individually being judged by God.
I understand the need for people to seek out physically attractive people and ignore there faults in other things. I've been guilty of this many times. However this is not how you choose suitable spouses. The correct way to choose spouses is with your head not your eyes.
Currently women and men but mostly women are very picky about their spouses while ruining good chances to have a family with stituable partners. Why? Because the man may not be tall enough,or have enough money or cute enough. So they abandon potentially good partners to instead go to men who have lower standards but who may be better looking or have more money.
Fact #1 Men have time. Women don't. Women have very short period of time organize themselves to have a family. At the age of 35 medically they are at an age of high risk pregnancy. And at the age of 40 that's no man's land. Most men want women they can have a family with hence we prefer younger more fit women.
Fact #2 Most men don't marry till they're in their 30's because women have developed insane and impossible standards for men. Women today want traditional men but they're not traditional wives.
Fact #3 Most modern women will be single till old age.
I believe most women can get good husbands, but they just don't like their options. Today, women have vastly more options than men do when it comes to choosing spouses but they choose poorly. I'm convinced that women are terrible at choosing proper spouses. It would have been better if their father's made that choice. That is my belief.
Regards,
Kevin
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'Marriage described by the scriptures even the Bible teaches that marriage is about duty not physical attraction.'
Bible's corrupted.
'Men and women doing their duty is a form of love and mutual respect for one another.'
Not necessarily. It can be but by definition duty does not mean love. It's possible to be dutiful and unloving (like in a job or school).
'Ultimately everyone will be judged by God individually not as a couple. So "love" is not a rational concept for a companionship that ultimately would result in both parties individually being judged by God.'
You can still be part of a loving couple, then die and then be judged individually. I think you sort of mixed the concept of love and judgment day together. This is not a rational way of thinking about two separate concepts. And if both parties go to heaven? That's great, they reunite in their love and join their believing family and friends. If not? It's sad if one of them goes to hell but this shouldn't stop one from seeking love in life.
'I understand the need for people to seek out physically attractive people and ignore there faults in other things. I've been guilty of this many times. However this is not how you choose suitable spouses. The correct way to choose spouses is with your head not your eyes.'
Who said love is all about looks? Love is about the heart, not the eyes. There are many people I found good looking but never loved. Then there were average looking people who I did fall in love with. You can have feelings of love for someone who is far from being a male model.
Love is about having a deep emotional connection with someone. It's about care, affection and so much more. Sometimes people fall in love because they have the same personality and see themselves in the other person and they connect. There's something about them emotionally that just connects- it's hard to describe. Sometimes being around a certain person for long periods of time i.e. for example at work makes people fall in love. Sometimes people fall in love with kindness.
But I think the difference between romantic love and platonic love is physical attraction. You can deeply love and feel affection for a friend but if there's no physical attraction, it's platonic. Am I saying it's wrong to love someone without being attracted to them and then get married to them? No! But do I regard this as a religious duty? No. The Qur'an doesn't say marry someone who is good, period. It's saying marry women you like which obv. also implies marry men you like and also says he put love and affection between your hearts. Remember, even though love is glamourised in the media, it's still something God created. He created it for a reason.
'Currently, women and men but mostly women are very picky about their spouses while ruining good chances to have a family with stituable partners. Why? Because the man may not be tall enough,or have enough money or cute enough.'
Same thing for women. Beauty standards are impossible to meet. But guess what? Nobody should force themselves to marry someone they're not attracted to or do not love.
'So they abandon potentially good partners to instead go to men who have lower standards but who may be better looking or have more money.'
Not all women. If a man is good looking but does not have a good personality, I know I do not want him. I'm sure many other women care about personality too.'it would have been better if their father's made that choice'
Lol....that's like saying it would have been better if mens' parents made that choice for them too. Generalising is not a good thing. You make it sound like men are rational and women are not. That's not true. Many men also want arm candy and only marry pretty women and disregard their personalities. -
'Marriage described by the scriptures even the Bible teaches that marriage is about duty not physical attraction.'
Bible's corrupted.
'Men and women doing their duty is a form of love and mutual respect for one another.'
Not necessarily. It can be but by definition duty does not mean love. It's possible to be dutiful and unloving (like in a job or school).
'Ultimately everyone will be judged by God individually not as a couple. So "love" is not a rational concept for a companionship that ultimately would result in both parties individually being judged by God.'
You can still be part of a loving couple, then die and then be judged individually. I think you sort of mixed the concept of love and judgment day together. This is not a rational way of thinking about two separate concepts. And if both parties go to heaven? That's great, they reunite in their love and join their believing family and friends. If not? It's sad if one of them goes to hell but this shouldn't stop one from seeking love in life.
'I understand the need for people to seek out physically attractive people and ignore there faults in other things. I've been guilty of this many times. However this is not how you choose suitable spouses. The correct way to choose spouses is with your head not your eyes.'
Who said love is all about looks? There are many people I found good looking but never loved. Then there were average looking people who I did fall in love with. You can have feelings of love for someone is far from being a male model.
Love is about having a deep emotional connection with someone. It's about care, affection and so much more. Sometimes people fall in love because they have the same personality and see themselves in the other person and they connect. Sometimes being around a certain person for long periods of time i.e. for example at work makes people fall in love. Sometimes people fall in love with kindness.
But I think the difference between romantic love and platonic love is physical attraction. You can deeply love and feel affection for a friend but if there's no physical attraction, it's platonic. Am I saying it's wrong to love someone without being attracted to them and then get married to them? No! But do I regard this as a religious duty? No. The Qur'an doesn't say marry someone who is good, period. It's saying marry women you like which obv. also implies marry men you like and also says he put love and affection between your hearts. Remember, even though love is glamourised in the media, it's still something God created. He created it for a reason.
'Currently, women and men but mostly women are very picky about their spouses while ruining good chances to have a family with stituable partners. Why? Because the man may not be tall enough,or have enough money or cute enough.'
Same thing for women. Beauty standards are impossible to meet. But guess what? Nobody should force themselves to marry someone they're not attracted to or do not love.
'So they abandon potentially good partners to instead go to men who have lower standards but who may be better looking or have more money.'
Not all women. If a man is good looking but does not have a good personality, I know I do not want him. I'm sure many other women care about personality too.'it would have been better if their father's made that choice'
Lol....that's like saying it wouldn't have been better if mens' parents made that choice for them too. Generalising is not a good thing. You make it sound like men are rational and women are not. That's not true. Many men also want arm candy and only marry pretty women and disregard their personalities.Love doesn't pay the bills and keep the kids taken care of and fed Sarah. Duty does. Women today are taught to believe they can have it all. You can't. Life is about choices and tradeoffs. Women want a man who's obsessed with them, prince charming, and they want a man who's making 6 figures but when asked what are they bringing to table they say 'I am the table'. Lots of them when asked if they want to work when they're pregnant say NO. So typically those woman want to be housewives but they weren't raised that way or cultured that way (because of feminism), yet men are still required to be traditional husbands.We're required to pay all the bills, fight off the wolves, buy the house, dig the ditches, fight the wars etc.
Love is about having a deep emotional connection with someone. It's about care, affection and so much more. Sometimes people fall in love because they have the same personality and see themselves in the other person and they connect. Sometimes being around a certain person for long periods of time i.e. for example at work makes people fall in love. Sometimes people fall in love with kindness.
Ummm no. That's disney love. It's a fairy tale. Love is conditional. The way you describe love it's as if it's from a disney movie. Let's say you get your prince charming and he's fairly dutiful to God, affectionate and so forth. Would you still "love" him if he went bankrupt and you and your kids have to sleep on the streets? What if he was incapable of taking care of you and the kids? Would you still see him as your knight in shining armor? I don't think so. Women want a man that is strong and capable of taking care of them and their children. Marriage is primarily about duty. This "love" you're talking about is just a perk. Nothing more.
Also no one is forcing anyone to get married. Marriage is OPTIONAL in the Quran. I never said that muslims have to marry. lol. It is not a requirement. What I'm saying is women today don't know how choose their spouses. You can't choose. Period. Women suck at choosing good men. That is why 1 in 4 women today are on psych meds(statistical fact), suffer clinical depression (another statistical fact) and destined to be old and alone with pets. Women chose poorly even though you have vastly more choices in spouses than men do. Modern women today are the most liberated women to ever exist on earth period, yet you are the most miserable. Why? Because most women today don't have a clue what marriage is about, why it's important to get married at an early age to start a family, and they don't know how to effectively choose good spouses. Men are generally more rational than women. Yes they are men that are stupid and very irrational but women vastly outnumber men in that category. Women make more emotionally decisions than men do. Period. Men are designed by God to be leaders and not women. Our mental and physical state has a lot to do with it. And I do assert that father's are better off choosing husband's for their daughter's. Why? Because women chose poorly.
Also I never said that women should be forced to pick someone they're not attracted to. You have a right to do so as well as men have the right to have similar standards. The question you need to ask yourself is how much time are you willing to sacrifice. While you're fiddling your thumbs about whether a man is 'good enough' for your standards other women are lining up to be his husband. Men have more time than women to make choices. Your competition is not with him, it's with the other women around him. Alot of women apparently don't seem to understand this until they're like 45 and single with 100 cats.
Regards,
Kevin
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'Love doesn't pay the bills and keep the kids taken care of and fed Sarah. Duty does'
Wrong. Your mother looked after you because she loved you. Ever heard of a mother's love for her child? Is that too 'disney' for you too? Is not that part of reality either? Sure some mothers are unloving but most tend to have some love for their kids that motivates them to look after them. Now obv parents also need to work to support them. That's common sense. You make it seem like you can't be loving and dutiful/ responsible at the same time. Of course you can!
'Women want a man who's obsessed with them, prince charming, and they want a man who's making 6 figures'
Many do and many don't. Again, it's wrong to judge a whole gender by what some of that gender wants. That's like saying all men are cheaters. All men are unfaithful.There's a difference between wanting love vs. wanting someone obsessed with you. Sure, perhaps a narcissistic woman wants a man to be obsessed with her and worship her but a decent woman doesn't want that. She just simply wants love and affection from that man she's in love with or attracted to.
Don't even get me started on the 6 figure thing. It's such a stereotype. Sure there are gold diggers but not every woman is. To imply this is rude.
'...lots of them when asked if they want to work when they're pregnant say NO. '
Well, it can be risky working when pregnant. Also, they usually work before and after pregnancy so this is understandable.
' fight the wars'
There are female soldiers about these days more than in the past.
'Ummm no. That's disney love. It's a fairy tale. Love is conditional. The way you describe love it's as if it's from a disney movie. Let's say you get your prince charming and he's fairly dutiful to God, affectionate and so forth. Would you still "love" him if he went bankrupt and you and your kids have to sleep on the streets? What if he was incapable of taking care of you and the kids? Would you still see him as your knight in shining armor? I don't think so. Women want a man that is strong and capable of taking care of them and their children. Marriage is primarily about duty. This "love" you're talking about is just a perk. Nothing more.'
Lol you have preconceptions about me. I never think of him as 'prince charming', that's cringeworthy. I just think I want to fall in love with a man or a real-life man. Would I still love him if he was bankrupt? Yes, I'm not heartless. You seem to think all women are heartless gold diggers lol. You need to realise that not all women lack empathy. Again 'knight in shining armour' is for kids. I'm a grown woman, I don't think in these terms. Ideally, obviously everyone wants to survive and have money. But who's to say that I wouldn't have a job? Or that I and my bankrupt husband couldn't be with family until things are sorted out? Again, I'm not heartless enough to leave a man that is loving for another one with money. Are you trying to say marriage is about money? Since 'duty' seems to mean paying the bills which obviously means money.
I described love as
'Love is about having a deep emotional connection with someone. It's about care, affection and so much more. Sometimes people fall in love because they have the same personality and see themselves in the other person and they connect. Sometimes being around a certain person for long periods of time i.e. for example at work makes people fall in love. Sometimes people fall in love with kindness.'
First off, look at the dictionary definition of love
love
/lʌv/
Learn to pronounce
See definitions in
All
Roman History
Tennis
noun
1.
an intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with feelings of love"That's not me or disney, that the LITERAL definition.
See how God describes it
And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.love and kindness. That's not me or disney, that's the Qur'an.
There's this dating coach on youtube called Matthew Hussey. He knows all about love. He once made this video describing multiple accounts of how people fell in love and it had nothing to do with tv influence, money or looks, the people he quoted all stated it was the kindness of the other person that made them fall in love.
'Also no one is forcing anyone to get married. Marriage is OPTIONAL in the Quran. I never said that muslims have to marry. lol.'
I meant nobody should force themselves to marry someone they don't like.
'That is why 1 in 4 women today are on psych meds(statistical fact), suffer clinical depression (another statistical fact) and destined to be old and alone with pets.'
I think it could be deeper than that. It could be because of a lack of faith and purpose. They need God above all else.
'Yes they are men that are stupid and very irrational but women vastly outnumber men in that category.'
That's sexist. You did not back up your point with statistics. This is exactly what sunnis are like. 'Women are intellectually inferior' 'Most in hell are women' etc. yet at the same time, more women than men go to college etc., there are female professors etc. It seems like you think with your ego and do not look at reality properly.'Women make more emotionally decisions than men do. Period.'
Where's the evidence? Statistics? Don't make blank claims.
'Your competition is not with him, it's with the other women around him. Alot of women apparently don't seem to understand this until they're like 45 and single with 100 cats.'
Right....I never saw any potential man as competition in the first place? More assumptions.
You seem to have a lot of sexist views on women with no evidence or statistics to back it up. If women were that stupid, there would be no female professors, doctors, lawyers etc. yet reality proves you wrong. I bet if it were up to you, women wouldn't even get past secondary school. You do not seem to realise how narcissistic that makes you sound. Sorry to say. Why are your answers filled with negativity towards women? Not even some women or most women, simply all women? If you hate women that much, why even think of them? There are pets too.
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Peace
...that you will have to settle for someone you're not in love with or even attracted to? It's a scary thought. Being able to marry people of the book seems very specific too and also very difficult to come across i.e. true Christians etc. who don't commit shirk (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong).Marrying a Sunni? Isn't that what we got away from? They usually just want to drag us back to their beliefs and you know how controlling some Sunni families can be.
Salaamun alaiki,
It is a scary thought with a possible positive outcome. When you meet someone you should be honest and upfront about it all in the beginning rather than waiting for the right moment.
Need to have an understanding together and trust both of have the best of intentions.
I am Quran alone long before, my partner is Sunni who wears full hijab and niqab, does whatever the mainstream Sunnis do. We get along great, no problems, she likes to discuss Quran with me.
We're not here as enemies, we are humble servers to Allah. Be a decent person whether you like it or not and do not be arrogant. The person will eventually come... Allah knows best.
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'Love doesn't pay the bills and keep the kids taken care of and fed Sarah. Duty does'
Wrong. Your mother looked after you because she loved you. Ever heard of a mother's love for her child? Is that too 'disney' for you too? Is not that part of reality either? Sure some mothers are unloving but most tend to have some love for their kids that motivates them to look after them. Now obv parents also need to work to support them. That's common sense. You make it seem like you can't be loving and dutiful/ responsible at the same time. Of course you can!
'Women want a man who's obsessed with them, prince charming, and they want a man who's making 6 figures'
Many do and many don't. Again, it's wrong to judge a whole gender by what some of that gender wants. That's like saying all men are cheaters. All men are unfaithful.There's a difference between wanting love vs. wanting someone obsessed with you. Sure, perhaps a narcissistic woman wants a man to be obsessed with her and worship her but a decent woman doesn't want that. She just simply wants love and affection from that man she's in love with or attracted to.
Don't even get me started on the 6 figure thing. It's such a stereotype. Sure there are gold diggers but not every woman is. To imply this is rude.
'...lots of them when asked if they want to work when they're pregnant say NO. '
Well, it can be risky working when pregnant. Also, they usually work before and after pregnancy so this is understandable.
' fight the wars'
There are female soldiers about these days more than in the past.
'Ummm no. That's disney love. It's a fairy tale. Love is conditional. The way you describe love it's as if it's from a disney movie. Let's say you get your prince charming and he's fairly dutiful to God, affectionate and so forth. Would you still "love" him if he went bankrupt and you and your kids have to sleep on the streets? What if he was incapable of taking care of you and the kids? Would you still see him as your knight in shining armor? I don't think so. Women want a man that is strong and capable of taking care of them and their children. Marriage is primarily about duty. This "love" you're talking about is just a perk. Nothing more.'
Lol you have preconceptions about me. I never think of him as 'prince charming', that's cringeworthy. I just think I want to fall in love with a man or a real-life man. Would I still love him if he was bankrupt? Yes, I'm not heartless. You seem to think all women are heartless gold diggers lol. You need to realise that not all women lack empathy. Again 'knight in shining armour' is for kids. I'm a grown woman, I don't think in these terms. Ideally, obviously everyone wants to survive and have money. But who's to say that I wouldn't have a job? Or that I and my bankrupt husband couldn't be with family until things are sorted out? Again, I'm not heartless enough to leave a man that is loving for another one with money. Are you trying to say marriage is about money? Since 'duty' seems to mean paying the bills which obviously means money.
I described love as
'Love is about having a deep emotional connection with someone. It's about care, affection and so much more. Sometimes people fall in love because they have the same personality and see themselves in the other person and they connect. Sometimes being around a certain person for long periods of time i.e. for example at work makes people fall in love. Sometimes people fall in love with kindness.'
First off, look at the dictionary definition of love
love
/lʌv/
Learn to pronounce
See definitions in
All
Roman History
Tennis
noun
1.
an intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with feelings of love"That's not me or disney, that the LITERAL definition.
See how God describes it
And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.love and kindness. That's not me or disney, that's the Qur'an.
There's this dating coach on youtube called Matthew Hussey. He knows all about love. He once made this video describing multiple accounts of how people fell in love and it had nothing to do with tv influence, money or looks, the people he quoted all stated it was the kindness of the other person that made them fall in love.
'Also no one is forcing anyone to get married. Marriage is OPTIONAL in the Quran. I never said that muslims have to marry. lol.'
I meant nobody should force themselves to marry someone they don't like.
'That is why 1 in 4 women today are on psych meds(statistical fact), suffer clinical depression (another statistical fact) and destined to be old and alone with pets.'
I think it could be deeper than that. It could be because of a lack of faith and purpose. They need God above all else.
'Yes they are men that are stupid and very irrational but women vastly outnumber men in that category.'
That's sexist. You did not back up your point with statistics. This is exactly what sunnis are like. 'Women are intellectually inferior' 'Most in hell are women' etc. yet at the same time, more women than men go to college etc., there are female professors etc. It seems like you think with your ego and do not look at reality properly.'Women make more emotionally decisions than men do. Period.'
Where's the evidence? Statistics? Don't make blank claims.
'Your competition is not with him, it's with the other women around him. Alot of women apparently don't seem to understand this until they're like 45 and single with 100 cats.'
Right....I never saw any potential man as competition in the first place? More assumptions.
You seem to have a lot of sexist views on women with no evidence or statistics to back it up. If women were that stupid, there would be no female professors, doctors, lawyers etc. yet reality proves you wrong. I bet if it were up to you, women wouldn't even get past secondary school. You do not seem to realise how narcissistic that makes you sound. Sorry to say. Why are your answers filled with negativity towards women? Not even some women or most women, simply all women? If you hate women that much, why even think of them? There are pets too.
Calling someone sexist is just a way to deny what is reality. This is how feminism and bs left-wing pundits talk. Instead of getting into the gutter that is feminism let us analyze this from a Quranic perspective. Who is the head of the household in Islam? Biologically are women stronger than men? The world that you use how many women are in the fields that are required to actually build a society? How many women are their in programming, engineering, construction, labourers, medicine, science. These fields are dominated by men and yet woman have the ability choose now more than ever. Women don't do any of the hard physically demanding jobs that men do, nor do you don't fight in any wars. Men are built to be leaders. That is our role. Whether you like it or not that is your problem but that is what the scriptures teach and that is how it has been for thousands of years and that is how it be till God terminates all life on earth.
I meant nobody should force themselves to marry someone they don't like.
No one can force you to do anything you make your decision. Either get married and make a family or get a dog and die alone. Your choice.
Where's the evidence? Statistics? Don't make blank claims.
You need statistics for you to see that women are more emotional than men. Are you genuinely this naive? Or are you lying to yourself.? You know this is true. For example you called me a sexist based on the fact that I made truthful and honest statements about men and women. That fact alone should be proof that women are vastly more emotional than men.
f women were that stupid, there would be no female professors, doctors, lawyers etc. yet reality proves you wrong. I bet if it were up to you, women wouldn't even get past secondary school. You do not seem to realise how narcissistic that makes you sound. Sorry to say. Why are your answers filled with negativity towards women? Not even some women or most women, simply all women? If you hate women that much, why even think of them? There are pets too.
Having a job is not a sign that you are not stupid. It just means your an adult...bravo. hail I never said that women are stupid I said that they were terrible at choosing spouses which is a fact. Women are generally terrible at choosing men. If you look at the statistics women file more divorces than men. It's not the men breaking up the homes, it's the women because most of them have very high and insane standards that men have to live up to for their comfort.
This is not negativity to women. It's negativity to most modern women. The vast majority of modern women I would surmise are trash and are asking an unfair deal from modern men. You want the world on a golden platter and expect men to live up to a very high and impossible standard but when it comes to your roles as women you're less than mediocre at best.
Regards,
Kevin.
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It is a scary thought with a possible positive outcome. When you meet someone you should be honest and upfront about it all in the beginning rather than waiting for the right moment.
Need to have an understanding together and trust both of have the best of intentions.
I am Quran alone long before, my partner is Sunni who wears full hijab and niqab, does whatever the mainstream Sunnis do. We get along great, no problems, she likes to discuss Quran with me.
We're not here as enemies, we are humble servers to Allah. Be a decent person whether you like it or not and do not be arrogant. The person will eventually come... Allah knows best.
Happy for you my brother. She sounds like a great women. Take good care of her.
Regards,
Kevin
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'You want the world on a golden platter and expect men to live up to a very high and impossible standard but when it comes to your roles as women you're less than mediocre at best.'
If you were a woman you would be saying men are cheaters, men are liars, men only want models and beauty queens, men will divorce you when you're old and replace you with a younger version of you, men are this and that because this is how you think. You generalise. You only see your own struggle when it comes to men and women's issues. I do not want to waste any more time trying to make you see through your own ego and negativity. You already know it. Bye.
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Peace Sarah,
Obviously don't marry someone like KDC501, too much clash but hey (assuming here) you're both Quran alone Muslims.
Not everything is in a label.
You might find people with similar goals, values or beliefs to your own who dont necessarily adhere to the same label. The best thing to do is be yourself, be honest of who you are, your beliefs/views and what you would expect in the relationship. Keep in mind people grow and change, we're not stagnant our life experiences and knowledge continue to shape us.
To the original question, I used to worry because I had an idealistic view of Quranic Muslims and their rarity but the reality isn't always what we envision. Disregarding creed, how many people are exactly the same in their beliefs and religious practise? I don't think many are, people are at different spiritual/religious stages of their lives. it just depends how comfortable you are with their stance/stage and if it is compatible with you and the direction you're going.
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Peace
...that you will have to settle for someone you're not in love with or even attracted to? It's a scary thought. Being able to marry people of the book seems very specific too and also very difficult to come across i.e. true Christians etc. who don't commit shirk (as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong).
Marrying a Sunni? Isn't that what we got away from? They usually just want to drag us back to their beliefs and you know how controlling some Sunni families can be.
Peace..
Dear sister following Quran alone is different to be a Muslim.. I don't know what exactly quran alone muslim is.I am a Muslim (surrendered to God alone) is because it is God's mercy on me.. I am being a Muslim has no connection to Quran.. One first has to surrender to God then only everything towards God is developing.. Quran makes a muslim to believer or muththakun.. Coz Quran restricts his heart from going astray after being a Muslim.. That's my take..
So sister there are a lot of Muslims on this earth..
If one accepts God as one and not associated anything with God then he is none other than a Muslim.. Such people are widespread... Not all Sunni or shia Muslims are associating with God anything.. Only extreme religious people do associate with God another thus they lose the grip of being a Muslim.. Most of Sunni and shia Muslims just live as mere Muslims.. Hardly they go and practices anything in depth.. Their fundamental faith relies as God is one..To choose a life partner I don't think you need someone who follow Quran alone but it is enough if he or she is Muslim..
Marriage is a contractual bond.. It can be terminated at any given time.. It is not like parents to a child or siblings... In fact it is kind of weird relationship.. Sometimes friendship is better than a marriage life.. In friendahip there is no need of a signed witness OR no need need paperworks and proof.. It all relies on mutual understanding.. Marriage is in fact duty minded.. Failing to do so makes either party a weak leading to divorce..
Of course when to souls living together sharing riches and their physics love may develop more than in any other relationships fir that matter.. But it is so complicated.. Even true love goes out of the window.. That can happen in marriage life..
But love to mother or father or children are ever lasting.. Even they make mistakes love lasts.. No divorce.. Lol..
A happily married couple sharing their bodily pleasue and divorce after 5 years and marry another and share their bodies and wealth.. This is weird..
So.. Married couple love can be true but conditional in a sense..
If I address Sarah and Kdc I do agree with both in certain matters..
If I sumup.. The one male or female whoever denigrade the other will never succeed in marriage life.. Marriage is of course male with a female or vice versa.. Both has strengths and weaknesses.. The major reasons they are married is to pass time well in fact to beat the loneliness away and seek the pleasures through being together and to ensure leave their identity through children..
You can't have true pleasure if each other don't resoect.. But nowadays unfortunately things are turned around... The great habit of giving in is lacking... Man never likes to surrender to a woman.. That's so obvious and perhaps inborn nature.. Women doesn't need to surrender to man either.. But women of nowadays have almost the same nature of men fir what ever the reasons.. So they also not give in.. Most of the marriages do collapse...
This is what happens while looking for a partner.. Ego is flying high..Being true to self and living a peaceful life by not extremely loving like mad lovers is much suited for this signed contract called marriage.. Just live the life you like and don't compel partner... Don't make it like he or she is mine alone... Don't forget it is a signed bond.. Not inborn..
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Sister Sarah.
I have been married a long time, would you like me to tell you about my wife?
She is hilarious!
I asked her Do you think I am gaining weight"? She said No, the living room is getting smaller".Every now and then she wants us to treat each other like when we first started dating. So she will suggest we go to the cinema, then she will drop me off at my parents afterwards.
Arguing with her is like reading the terms and conditions on the internet, I give up and go straight to "I agree".
She was about half an hour on the phone. I was surprised. “Wow, that was quick. Usually you are at it for two hours at least!”
“Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.”she replies.I am an optimist. I leave the car engine running when she says she’s, “Just going to run inside the shop to grab a bottle of milk.”
“I love you,” she said.
“Is that you talking,” I asked, “Or the wine?”
“It’s me talking to the wine.” She said.My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong, and she agrees with me.
She asked me "which you like better, my face or my body?
I said, “Your sense of humor.”Only joking sister.My advice
Marriage is when a man and woman become one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.When you meet someone with a good sense of humour, it is a good start.
GOD bless you.
Peace. -
Its all give and take in relationship, without this nothing is going to work out, if you cant get what you expect, one will soon be out of that relationship, so expecting less and geting more,
These tags like Sunni Shia Muslims, Christians etc.. are ok as long as people are flexible with those and 90% people are flexible to survive and be peaceful.
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Its all give and take in relationship, without this nothing is going to work out, if you cant get what you expect, one will soon be out of that relationship, so expecting less and geting more,
These tags like Sunni Shia Muslims, Christians etc.. are ok as long as people are flexible with those and 90% people are flexible to survive and be peaceful.
That's true... But Sarah's point is practical.. Cannot be neglected..
I also like to share.. In fact I am a loser when it comes to find a partner for life..
All of them rejects when I speak truth.. But all accepts me when I lie..
Strange isn't it..?But I like to go with truth... Honestly I was keep searching in conventional Muslim families just to be in society which I live.. But my truth is like a monster for them..
Simply I am damn loser..
Note.. I never looked in rich families so that they reject looking at my faith.. Even poor people rejected me just coz of my faith..When I say truth they reject and when I lie they accept.. But what to do.. Mind say speak truth...
For me even orphan, refugee or poor girl from any country is okay.. But I am not even fortunate for that..
I could have become rich If I accepted and continued my job in law.. But I gave up long back.. And chosen a simple job.. So most girls don't like to have midocre life...But I am happy... I am not bothered to achieve anything beyond my capacity... Let's see what God has planned... I know it's weird to wait and see until things happen.. But honestly tired of rejections..
My classmates daughters are about to marry but I am just single.. They mock gently but no pain for me inside...
When my mother passed away very recently I thought that's it put a fulstop.. Now you are orphan.. Lol.. But.. I realized it is wrong.. Just live happily.. Marriage is not the only thing that human has to do in life.. So many things to do... Patience befit... Some blame me.. May be I am looking a rich beautiful girl. God knows my destiny... Let people talk. That's their passtime..
I have now some other priorities in life and with it I am happy..I would like to add one more thing along with this..
When my mother passed away all rituals tool place according to sunni conventional way.. Yes I was helpless..
I am innocent to what they did with my mother's dead body.. Sunni dominated society Iam living.. That's the only option.. Not only coz of society but Sunni dominated relatives members as well..
I was silent.. Let things happen.. All I wanted is let my mother body be buried.. Not argue on that day.. I don't know I am coward or what I did is right.. God knows best what is in hearts..
Being so minute in numbers who are true believers is sometimes so unfortunate.. But let's be patient..
They all were making salat keeping the body of mother inside masjid.. An I was compelled to stand on the first raw.. But I was only acting as I was making salat.. Never uttered a word..
May all forgive me..
Life is sometimes as tough..
