The Ultimate Guide to Conquer Desires

The_Middle_Path

I'm going to share much more information about this topic and some of my findings too, Deo volente. Unfortunately, I can't do it now due to lack of time. But for the time being, let me share an analogy which might illustrate why it's crucial to create a balanced life.

If a runner who runs in a forest, have to walk across a log, the most important thing for him to do is to maintain balance. If he leans too much too one side of the log for too long and neglects the laws of physics, he will fall. Some people think an imbalanced life can lead to failure. Furthermore, they think watching too many TV shows, playing too much video games or spending too much time on social media can lead to an imbalanced life. If a religious or non-religious man leads an imbalanced life, then he might become good at one thing at the expense of everything else in his life. Ultimately, this might weaken his ability to keep his desires in check. Case in point He might fail to protect himself against desires such as greed, indolence or lust.

Jafar

If a runner who runs in a forest, have to walk across a log, the most important thing for him to do is to maintain balance. If he leans too much too one side of the log for too long and neglects the laws of physics, he will fall.

And as he fall, many times, he will learn.
Without falling he will not learn anything.
And he will took many wrong turn too at many intersection and found many dead end along the way.

Whatever path that he took, the finish line will be the same as any other runner.
As there's only one finish line, which is actually also the starting line.

Some people think an imbalanced life might lead to failure. They think watching too many TV shows, playing too much video games or spending too much time on social media might lead to an imbalanced life. If a religious or non-religious man leads an imbalanced life, then he might become good at one thing at the expense of everything else in his life. Ultimately, this might weaken his ability to keep his desires in check. Case in point He might fail to protect himself against desires such as greed, pride, indolence or lust.

What one resist shall persist.
I think there's another thread where one posted the tip that to conquer desire is not to fight the desire.
Example; those who has spent too much time on social media will eventually grew sick of it and logged out. And those who forbid himself from arising desire to interact on social media will find social media to be more and more desirable.

There is nothing to fear other than the fear itself.
The best way to conquer fear is to face the fear head on.
Thus through conquering fear one shall found and recognize courage.

Desire is not a good or bad thing.
Infact it's desire which drive karma (meaning action)
And every action / karma has it's own implication.

As Siddharta said; Impermanence is inescapable. Everything vanishes.
And that include any form of desire.
And once one arrive at that point, no more desire, the runner has arrived at the finish line, which he shall found out that it's actually also the starting line.

jkhan

Peace all,

In the name of God, the creator and the sustainer of the heavens and the earth. All praise is due to the most high.

"A nation is born stoic, and dies epicurean." - Will Durant (Historian)

Let me forewarn you, this thread is not for the faint-hearted. The posts in this thread might contain information that's politically incorrect, unconventional, controversial and counterculture. Also, the posts in this thread might contain information that's not sugar-coated, dumbed-down or censored to please anyone or to gain anyones approval. To my knowledge, men are more likely to struggle with how to conquer their desires than women. So this thread is mainly geared towards men. But women are welcome to write comments too.

While some posts in this thread might be entertaining, this thread is not for an entertainment purpose whatsoever. The purpose of this thread is to spread knowledge and understanding about how to conquer desires. Therefore, I've decided to create this thread to bring awareness to a topic that many people around the world consider to be highly important. Many people around the world care about this topic and want to know more about it. However, it's a heated topic. Therefore, it's not always easy to talk about it in real life. But, I think we can easily talk about it on this forum. So let's make this thread a place were we can learn from one another and increase our knowledge and understanding about this topic.

I think there is some good information about how to conquer desires in these sources

The scriptures of major religions such as hinduism, buddhism, christianity and judaism.
The writings of western and eastern philosophy.
The teachings of ancient monastic, ascetic and mystic communities.
The posts and articles of modern communities such as the SR community and the NoFap community.

Nevertheless, I think the most profound information about how to conquer desires is in the quran. I think the most important principle regarding how to conquer desires can be found in the 15th chapter of the quran, which contain verses that show the most important keys to self-control with regard to desires.

He said "my lord, respite me until the day they are resurrected. He said "you are given respite." "Until the day of the time appointed." He said "my Lord, for that by which you have caused me to be misled, I will beautify for them what is on the earth, and I will mislead them all." "Except your servants from among them, the devoted ones." He said "this shall be a straight path to me." "For my servants, you shall have no authority over them, except those who are misled and follow you."
(Verses 1536-42)

For me having desire is absolutely fine and it is how things work within human mind and body... without having desire there is no life for sure with meaning...

Whatever God created in it is desire for human being and that's how it has been created..
but unfortunately you have picked the wrong verse to elaborate ... The verse you opted for this topic is totally irrelevant to genuine desire of human being.. there is no need to conquer desire.. if you really meant to suppress the desire by your topic then it is absolutely not necessary at all...... what for..

God Himself entice human being with all what He has created.. Even all His verses of materials of this world and other is enticing human being with desire... for example chapter 55 or 56...
letting Muhamed to marry many women is itself making him desire.. letting them take the booty is itself enticing them to desire.. that's so human.. you can see many verses in quran enticing desire.. needless bring them...
but what the verses 1536-42 is entirely different to what is of natural desire of human being...
satan will make fair-seeming (zaiyinna)..
In life everything is fine... but achieving it in evil way is wrong... for example killing is okay if it is for just purpose ... but it is not allowed if for unjust purpose... there comes the EVIL DESIRE... turning the natural desire into an evil desire is what makes a human being rejecting the path of God and accepting the path of Satan... in everything you can apply this philosophy...
having sex is fine but not with those who are not allowed... So having desire of sex is absolutely natural.. nothing to to with enticing of satan.. Satan won't entice you to do sex with your wife.. would he? he will only entice us to have sex with those who are not ours... his promise is very clear in the verses 1536-42..

Don't kill the desires... the children who are in medical college are filled with huge desire to become doctors... No short cut for that.. but to fulfil the desire in evil way by cheating is what entice satan..
worshiping God is desire and worshiping an idol is evil desire..
Going forward in life is desire meanwhile hindering the path for others to go forward in life is evil desire..

so i won't agree with those who are trying to leave all their desires like Buddha (as depicted in stories)... but live with your desires in a good way...
take it or leave it.. that's my take..
thank you..

The_Middle_Path

Peace Jafar, jkhan, and fellow members

Jafar and jkhan, thank you for your meaningful and helpful/useful posts and for taking the time to write them.

These are questions to contemplate about desires...

Why do many people in modern times struggle with how to conquer their desires and want to conquer them? Why did many people in ancient times had the exact same challenge? Why do many people who want to conquer their desires think it's an uphill battle? Why do many people find it hard to resist the allure of desires such as lust? Why do many people think this psychological force has an incredibly strong pull and succumb to it regularly or from time to time? Is the notion of complete self-control regarding desires just a myth? Why does verse 1542 in the quran suggest the opposite is true?

Are there good desires and bad desires? If there are good desires and bad desires, which desires are good and which desires are bad? If there are good desires and bad desires, are selfish desires good and unselfish desires bad and/or are beneficial desires good and adverse desires bad? Is there a difference between desires and needs? If there is a difference between desires and needs, what are needs and what are desires? Should one conquer desires such as greed, pride, indolence, anger and lust? Or should one embrace these particular desires? How do one know whether these particular desires should be embraced or conquered? What is right and what is wrong regarding this issue? Or is there no right or wrong with regard to this issue? Is moral relativism or nihilism the way to go? Is there really no absolute truth?

What do western and eastern philosophy say about desires? What do major religions say about desires? What do ancient monastic, ascetic and mystic communities say about desires? What do modern communities such as the SR community and the NoFap community say about desires? If people approach the quran solely as a source of knowledge, what does it say about desires? What do the stories of Solomon, Joseph and Jonah say about desires? What do verses 2371, 2543, 2850 and 599 say about desires? Does the quran urge people to pursue their desires or to conquer them? If the quran urges people to conquer their desires, does it have a guide which shows people how to do it? If the quran urges people to conquer their desires, and since various verses in the quran suggests its complete/detailed (6114, 6126, 6154, 7115 and 12111), shouldn't it have a guide which shows people how to do it? If the quran urges people to conquer their desires, and doesn't have a guide which shows people how to do it, then how can it be considered complete/detailed?

Later on, I'm going write some posts in this thread where I will attempt to answer some or most of the questions above, Deo volente.

As I have previously mentioned in this thread, I am very interested to hear your comments about this topic.

The_Middle_Path

Peace all,

Some people desire fame, wealth, luxury and power. Some people desire to have a rich partner with high status and/or have a partner with a very beautiful face and body. Some people desire to become celebrities. Some people desire to become athletes. Some people desire to have many children. Some people desire to have luxurious houses and sports cars. Some people desire to travel around the world and see most or all countries. Some people have lots of desires, while others have few desires. Some people think having lots of desires is good, while others think having lots of desires is bad. Some cultures/traditions/philosophies encourage people to pursue their desires, while other cultures/traditions/philosophies encourage people to limit or conquer their desires.

According to some people around the world, many movies, many songs and many news articles in the west promote values that are in line with the teachings of major religions and values that are against (contrary to) the teachings of major religions. According to some people around the world, much western media promotes democracy, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, human rights and science. According to some people around the world, some western media also promotes lavish materialism, western-centrism, consumerism, unrealistic beauty standards and hook up culture. Some people around the world even go so far as to say that some western media isn't balanced, has a liberal and secular agenda, promotes a hedonistic lifestyle and suppresses and censors conservative/traditional family values and faith-based views. According to some people around the world, some western media encourages people to pursue their desires. On the other hand, some people around the world suggest that major religions such as hinduism, buddhism, judaism and traditional islam encourage people to conquer their desires.

In the history of humankind, many people around the world have struggled with conquering their desires. Throughout history, desires have been viewed in a negative light by many people around the world. In the past, the members of some monastic communities and ascetic communities attempted to conquer their desires and renounced worldly pursuits. The members of some monastic communities practiced celibacy and lived alone (i.e. they lacked a spouse). The members of some ascetic communities practiced celibacy, fasting and self-mortification. The members of some monastic communities and ascetic communities even secluded themselves from the life of the city. They went far away from civilization and retreated to the wilderness.

The quran seems to have some elements from monasticism and ascetism. Also, some monastic and ascetic practises can be used as tools by muslims. But the Quran doesn't endorse ascetism or monasticism (5727). Case in point The quran doesn't support abstaining from marriage.

The quran urges people to do good deeds and try to make a difference in their societies and the world. It urges people to strive to eliminate social ills such as poverty, pollution and corruption. Many members of monastic and ascetic communities seclude themselves instead of making their way into their societies. The quran counsels people to participate and become active in their societies, not to seclude themselves (2193, 475, 839, 872, 11116 and 6111). The Quran, which has elements from both monasticism and ascetism, retains/endorses the best of these systems while avoiding the worst. Furthermore, it contains lots of knowledge and guidance that one can't find in monasticism and ascetism. Therefore, I think the system of the quran is far beyond monasticism and ascetism. The quran is in a league of its own, in my opinion.

At the present time, the members of some modern communities such as the SR community and the NoFap community attempt to conquer their desires. These communities have hundreds of thousands members from around the world. In the SR community and the NoFap community, they have certain guides that show people how to conquer their desires. According to their guides, people can implement certain practises to conquer their desires. Their guides usually recommend practises such as excercise, clean diet, digital detox (e.g. reducing screen time and/or beating internet addiction), meditation, cold showers, fasting and intermittent-fasting. From what I have read, the majority of people who use their guides tend to fail and end up relapsing and their guides only work for a minority of people in the long term. Also, from what I read, with regards to keeping desires such as lust in check, the members of the SR community tend to have a lower rate of failure than the members of the NoFap community.

Although, the guides of the SR community and the NoFap community contain some useful/helpful information with regard to keeping desires such as lust in check, they tend to mostly focus on physical solutions to solve a psychological/spiritual challenge (i.e. lack of self-control with regard to lust). Case in point Taking cold showers is supposed to keep desires such as lust in check. Although mind and body is connected and physical solutions can help to a solve a psychological/spiritual challenge (i.e. lack of self-control with regard to lust), it might not be enough to completely solve it. Psychological/spritual (i.e. ethical/moral) solutions might also be crucial in order to solve psychological/spiritual challenges. In order to conquer desires, it might be crucial to have a sense of meaning and purpose in life by contributing to the society or the common good. From what I know, critics of the SR community and the NoFap community think their approaches are simplistic, too extreme and don't shed enough light on the psychological/spiritual (i.e. ethical/moral) causes of lack of self-control with regard to desires such as lust.

jkhan

Keep it simple brother MP if you wish.. Peace..

For me you are dragging it to nowhere.. Quran is very clear... Enjoy everything be thankful to God.. Why we thank God? Coz He has provided which our heart desires and that makes us please.. Once we are pleased it deserves in return to thank who provided it..

Look at the verse which you brought initially.. Adam was forbidden from approaching a tree.. What is wrong in eating a fruit from a tree? What's the big deal? Was it poisonous? No.. Once Adam ate it, it didn't give that result.. Isn't there any other fruit in the Janna where Adam lived? Was he starving? Or was there anyone to share with him.. Or he felt scarcity out there.. Greedy desire comes when one want to do what God has 1)forbidden / 2) made impossible...
It was Adam's greedy desire leaving rest of the fruits in Janna and approached the one which is forbidden that too prompted by Satan... What is the outcome of eating that fruit according to Satan? Become immortal / malak... So it is greedy that thrived Adam to have it.. Ultimately trying to achieve which is impossible.. Eating that was possible literally coz God don't keep it far from reach.. But achieving by eating it is impossible..
Look at below verse.. They were greedily desiring 1000 years of life which is impossible coz God won't give that life span to those who wished.. Desiring is possible but not 1000 years..
So eyeing for FORBIDDEN & IMPOSSIBLE things is meaningless and that's sheer Greedy desire..

296 " And you will surely find them the most greedy of people for life - more than those who associate others with Allah. One of them wishes that he could be granted life a thousand years, ..... ...."

Apart from that two conditions (FORBIDDEN + IMPOSSIBLE) .. Desiring to achieve something in evil way as I explained in my first post..

These THREE makes a person to go against God.. Other than that having desire of any nature is absolutely fine.. If one wants to have 10 times sexual intercourse with wife while she is willing and if they are capable what is wrong in it? Absolutely fine desire..
Desire is inbuilt and no one can leave it outside the body and mind.. It may differ depend on people's choice.. Worthless effort to keep it away.. ..

After all.. What is the benefit of leaving it away or conquering desire? What one expect in this world and in the lifeafter by conquering desire? Is there any promise from God or gods or nature that one will get benefit immensely by conquering desire?
Sheer meaning.. The one who claims we should conquer desire has forgotton that he or she is a product of another two human beings who were in desire..
Desire and self control is comprehensively explained in Quran..
I don't agree with you staying that if Quran is fully detailed why not bla bla?
Quran says if you don't have means to marry be patient until Allah make a way.. Clear advice of self control.. I don't want to go off topic by bringing every verse.. Here self control is different topic.. But in it what one control is desire.. Coz he may be wanted to marry and live a beautiful family life but need to suppress his desire.. Not for life time but until Allah makes a way..
God says to prophet after this woman you can't marry another even though how much their beauty attracts him.. So.. Fullstop for desire.. Be satisfied with what you already have.. Breaching what God ordered to achieve what greedy desire propels is not gonna benefit believers..

Jafar

Jafar and jkhan, thank you for your meaningful and helpful/useful posts and for taking the time to write them.

These are questions to contemplate about desires...

Why do many people in modern times struggle with how to conquer their desires and want to conquer them? Why did many people in ancient times had the exact same challenge? Why do many people who want to conquer their desires think it's an uphill battle? Why do many people find it hard to resist the allure of desires such as lust? Why do many people think this psychological force has an incredibly strong pull and succumb to it regularly or from time to time? Is the notion of complete self-control regarding desires just a myth?

You're welcome.
By the word 'desire' here do you actually refer specifically to sexual desire?
Ok then let's dive in to that.

Let's take an example, the life of Siddharta, do you know how he "conquered" sexual desire?
Not by fighting it but by achieving such desire in great abundance.

Siddharta was a wealthy prince, he has a beautiful wife and many concubines..
Yet he then thought those are not what he actually looking for and he desire something else... he desire an enlightenment.
He then leave his wife, concubines and all the luxury that he has because he has desired something else..

During the later stage of his life when he said "Suffering caused by desire" is in no way a reference that "desire" is bad or evil. It's just a statement of fact. Even 'desiring an enlightenment' is also a desire by itself, which then drive SIdda

Desire drive action (karma), and each action has it's own implication.
When the receiver of implication like the implication he label it as "good".
When the receiver of implication do not like the implication he label it as "bad".

Let's take a simple desire which caused simple action.

A man is hungry so he desire to eat, he then goes to KFC to buy and eat a fried chicken.
Is the event "good" or "bad"? Let's dive in...

The event is "good" for KFC and it's stakeholders, because the action correlates well with their goal and objective, selling chicken in exchange for money.
The event is "good" for the hungry man as KFC's chicken fulfill his desire to eat.
The event is "bad" for the chicken, because he doesn't like to be murdered and put his body to be eaten by the hungry man.

To minimize the "bad" implication from the perspective of the chicken, the man thought that the best he can do is to send blessing and say thank you to the chicken prior eating them.
The man above has performed mindfulness of implications from a karma (action) that he performed.

As such 'desire' by itself is not good or bad, it's the action (karma) for achieving the desire that can have implications and consequences which might be potentially be good or bad based on perspective.

Back to 'sexual desire', as mentioned it is not good or bad, but how the action (karma) for achieving the desire can have implications which potentially be good or bad based on perspective. One need to be mindful of such implications.

The_Middle_Path

Peace jkhan, and fellow members

For me having desire is absolutely fine and it is how things work within human mind and body... without having desire there is no life for sure with meaning...

Whatever God created in it is desire for human being and that's how it has been created..
but unfortunately you have picked the wrong verse to elaborate ... The verse you opted for this topic is totally irrelevant to genuine desire of human being.. there is no need to conquer desire.. if you really meant to suppress the desire by your topic then it is absolutely not necessary at all...... what for..

The verses 1536-42 are totally relevant to the topic of this thread (notably verse 1542), and that's what's crucial here. Verse 1542 contains the most important principle regarding how to conquer desires. Verse 1542 says that the devil has no authority/power over the devoted/faithful (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants of God. Therefore, verse 1542 clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of God won't succumb to desires such as lust (in other words, they have complete self-control). First case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and read/watch sexual materials such as erotic/pornographic videos, photographs, writings or the like. Second case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and have premarital sex (possibly including premarital physical/romantic relationships as well). Third and final case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and have extramarital sex and/or extramarital physical/romantic relationships.

I counsel you to earnestly read verses 1536-42 and verses 1223-24, compare them with one another and contemplate on their profound meanings.

He said "my lord, respite me until the day they are resurrected. He said "you are given respite." "Until the day of the time appointed." He said "my Lord, for that by which you have caused me to be misled, I will beautify for them what is on the earth, and I will mislead them all." "Except your servants from among them, the devoted ones (l-mukh'laṣīna)." He said "this shall be a straight path to me." "For my servants, you shall have no authority over them, except those who are misled and follow you."
(Verses 1536-42)

And the woman, in whose house he was staying, attempted to seduce him away from himself. And she closed the doors and said "I have prepared myself for you." He said "I seek refuge with God, He is my Lord, He has made good my stay; the wicked do not succeed." And she was obsessed with him, and he did obsess with her - had it not been that he saw the proof of his Lord - it was thus that We turned evil and immorality away from him; he is of our loyal (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants.
(Verses 1223-24)

The cross-reference of the word/term (l-mukh'laṣīna) in verse 1540 with the exact same word/term (l-mukh'laṣīna) in verse 1224 (which contextually refers to the story of Joseph and the married woman who tried to seduce him), clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of the God won't succumb to desires such as lust. Verses 1223-24 say that Joseph did not succumb to lust when the married woman tried to seduce him. In addition to that, verse 1224 says that Joseph was one of the devoted/faithful (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants of the God. Therefore, verse 1224 clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of the God won't succumb to desires such as lust.

In summary, verses 15-36-42 and verses 1223-24 clearly and indisputably show that the devil has no authority/power over the devoted/faithful (sincere) servants of God. Moreover, these verses clearly and indisputably show that only he who is/becomes a devoted/faithful (sincere) servant of the God is able to conquer desires such as lust (namely to attain complete self-control). In other words, according to the verses mentioned above, a devoted/faithful (sincere) servant of the God will never succumb to lust.

The_Middle_Path

Peace all,

jafar and jkhan, I will reply to your newest posts here, if the God wills it. But unfortunately, I can't do it today due to lack of time.

For the time being, allow me to share a quote here. I consider this quote to be relevant with regard to the topic of this thread.

"Greed turns love into lust, leisure into sloth, hunger into gluttony, honor into pride, righteous indignation into anger, and admiration into envy. If it weren’t for greed, we would suffer fewer of the other vices." - James Ogilvy

Let me share some verses from the quran here too. These verses are relevant to the topic of this thread, in my opinion.

He said "my lord, respite me until the day they are resurrected. He said "you are given respite." "Until the day of the time appointed." He said "my Lord, for that by which you have caused me to be misled, I will beautify for them what is on the earth, and I will mislead them all." "Except your servants from among them, the devoted ones." He said "this shall be a straight path to me." "For my servants, you shall have no authority over them, except those who are misled and follow you." 1536-42

And I will misguide them and make them desire, and I will command them, so that they will mark the ears of the livestock, and I will command them so they will make changes to the creation of God. Whoever takes the devil as a supporter other than God, then he has indeed lost a great loss. He promises them and makes them desire, but what the devil promises them is only vanity. 4119-120

And have patience upon yourself regarding those who call on their Lord at dawn and dusk seeking His face, and let not your eyes overlook them that you seek the beauty of this worldly life. And do not obey he whom We have made his heart heedless of Our remembrance and he followed his desire, and his fate was lost. 1828

And if the truth were to follow their desires, then the heavens and the earth and all who are in them would have been corrupted. No, We have come to them with their reminder, but from their reminder they are turning away. 2317

And those who provided them with shelter, and were believers before them; they love those who immigrated to them, and they find no hesitation in their hearts in helping them, and they readily give them priority over themselves, even when they themselves need what they give away. Indeed, those who overcome their desires are the successful ones. 599

Have you seen the one who has taken his desire as his god? Will you be a caretaker over him? 2543

But if they fail to respond to you, then know that they follow only their desires. And who is more astray than he who follows his desire, without guidance from God? God does not guide the wicked people. 2850

jkhan

Peace jkhan, and fellow members

The verses 1536-42 are totally relevant to the topic of this thread (notably verse 1542), and that's what's crucial here. Verse 1542 contains the most important principle regarding how to conquer desires. Verse 1542 says that the devil has no authority/power over the devoted/faithful (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants of God. Therefore, verse 1542 clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of God won't succumb to desires such as lust (in other words, they have complete self-control). First case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and read/watch sexual materials such as erotic/pornographic videos, photographs, writings or the like. Second case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and have premarital sex (possibly including premarital physical/romantic relationships as well). Third and final case in point A devoted/faithful servant of God won't succumb to lust and have extramarital sex and/or extramarital physical/romantic relationships.

I counsel you to earnestly read verses 1536-42 and verses 1223-24, compare them with one another and contemplate on their profound meanings.

He said "my lord, respite me until the day they are resurrected. He said "you are given respite." "Until the day of the time appointed." He said "my Lord, for that by which you have caused me to be misled, I will beautify for them what is on the earth, and I will mislead them all." "Except your servants from among them, the devoted ones (l-mukh'laṣīna)." He said "this shall be a straight path to me." "For my servants, you shall have no authority over them, except those who are misled and follow you."
(Verses 1536-42)

And the woman, in whose house he was staying, attempted to seduce him away from himself. And she closed the doors and said "I have prepared myself for you." He said "I seek refuge with God, He is my Lord, He has made good my stay; the wicked do not succeed." And she was obsessed with him, and he did obsess with her - had it not been that he saw the proof of his Lord - it was thus that We turned evil and immorality away from him; he is of our loyal (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants.
(Verses 1223-24)

The cross-reference of the word/term (l-mukh'laṣīna) in verse 1540 with the exact same word/term (l-mukh'laṣīna) in verse 1224 (which contextually refers to the story of Joseph and the married woman who tried to seduce him), clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of the God won't succumb to desires such as lust. Verses 1223-24 say that Joseph did not succumb to lust when the married woman tried to seduce him. In addition to that, verse 1224 says that Joseph was one of the devoted/faithful (l-mukh'laṣīna) servants of the God. Therefore, verse 1224 clearly and indisputably shows that the devoted/faithful servants of the God won't succumb to desires such as lust.

In summary, verses 15-36-42 and verses 1223-24 clearly and indisputably show that the devil has no authority/power over the devoted/faithful (sincere) servants of God. Moreover, these verses clearly and indisputably show that only he who is/becomes a devoted/faithful (sincere) servant of the God is able to conquer desires such as lust (namely to attain complete self-control). In other words, according to the verses mentioned above, a devoted/faithful (sincere) servant of the God will never succumb to lust.

Still I say I have given the clear explanation in my threads... The verse related to iblees is not relevant with your topic.. No one need to conquer desire unless trying to achieve in evil way or forbidden or impossible...

Desire is God's gift to all His creatures... It was not given to suppress it but enjoy it...
If your concern is only SEXUAL desire.. Then Quran has given clear instructions with whome a human being can have sexual desire... Breaching it leads astray. So simple.. Sexual desire is harmless.. How you achieve it depends...
Thank you.

Euphoric

There's whim and there's desire. Whim is impulsive while desire is a want or wish.

Whims shouldn't be followed while desire should be kept under control.

Mukhlaseen means those who purify, to separate and get rid of adulteration.

The_Middle_Path

Peace jkhan, and fellow members

Apart from that two conditions (FORBIDDEN + IMPOSSIBLE) .. Desiring to achieve something in evil way as I explained in my first post..

These THREE makes a person to go against God.. Other than that having desire of any nature is absolutely fine..

Your claim sounds reasonable when you say that those three (things) make a person go against God. But are you sure that other than that, having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view? If having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view, then why has the word desire been portrayed in a negative light in multiple verses in the quran? In fact, the word desire has been portrayed in a negative light in several verses in the quran (1828, 2016, 2543, 2850, 4523, 7175-176).

If we desire, we can spend 15 hours a day watching TV shows, and/or playing video games and/or being on social media platforms. Doing these things 15 hours a day, isn't forbidden and impossible and neither has it anything to do with achieving something in an evil way. But if a man desires to spend 15 hours a day doing these things, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? Also, what about gluttony, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? No, absolutely not. It is evident that gluttony isn't an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view (6141 and 731). Therefore, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine from the quran's point of view.

I'm sure that you are aware that doing particular actions and choosing a particular course makes a man come closer to God (3437). Besides, the quran shows us that there are several paths that one can take. Furthermore, those paths aren't equal whatsoever (261, 314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). To put it in another way, some paths are more treasured and advantageous (beneficial) than others. To give an example, worldly goods aren't forbidden in the quran, aren't impossible to acquire and it's possible to aquire them in a good way. Regardless of this fact, the quran considers belief in God and doing good deeds far more important than acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Humans need worldly goods such as food, clothing, tools, houses an so on in order to survive and grow (thrive). Also, the quran doesn't advocate poverty (2268, 928 and 1726-30). Nevertheless, the quran counsels us to put belief in God and doing good deeds far above the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Therefore, it isn't an absolutely fine desire, to put the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods above belief in God and doing good deeds, from the quran's point of view. Thus, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine, from the quran's point of view.

If one wants to have 10 times sexual intercourse with wife while she is willing and if they are capable what is wrong in it? Absolutely fine desire..
Desire is inbuilt and no one can leave it outside the body and mind.. It may differ depend on people's choice.. Worthless effort to keep it away.. ..

What do you mean by 10 times? Do you mean 10 times an hour, 10 times a day, 10 times a week or 10 times a month? Please be specific. The quran doesn't forbid a man to have sexual intercourse 10 times or more with his wife during an hour or during a day, if she is willing and if they're capable of doing it. But if a man has sexual intercourse 10 times or more with his wife during an hour or during a day, it might be an excessive desire, from the quran's point of view. Let me say it again, the quran doesn't forbid a man to have sexual intercourse 10 times or more with his wife during an hour or during a day, if she is willing and if they're capable of doing it. Nevertheless, it's not optimum and neither is it encouraged/recommended, from the quran's point of view. The quran urges us to keep desires in check (2543 and 7940-41).

jkhan, I have some rhetorical questions for you regarding the point you raised about a man's sexual intercourse with his wife (spouse). Do you mean having sexual intercourse 10 times with ones spouse with aim of procreation or with the aim of recreation? Or do you mean having sexual intercourse 10 times with ones spouse with the aim of procreation and recreation? What's the purpose of sex according to the quran? Is sex for procreation or recreation according to the quran? Or is sex for both procreation and recreation according to the quran? While on the subject, let's see what the quran says about the natural purpose of sex.

Your wives are your tilth; go, then, unto your tilth as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls, and remain conscious of God, and know that you are destined to meet Him. And give glad tidings unto those who believe. 2223

Possible interpretations of verse 2223 in the quran

The quran suggests that the wives of married men are their tilth in relation to sex. The word tilth is a metaphor. So when it comes to sex, the wives of married men are likened to a tilth, which is the physical condition of soil when it's suitable for planting or growing a crop. Farmers go their tilth with the intention of growing a crop. Likewise, married men can approach their wives as they desire in relation to sex, as long as they maintain goodness and as long as they have sexual intercourse with the intention of procreation (namely to produce offspring). Thus, the natural purpose of sex is procreation, according to this interpretation.
The quran suggests that married men can approach their wives as they desire in relation to sex, as long as they maintain goodness. Therefore, the purpose of sex isn't only for procreation, but for recreation as well. The quran doesn't mention explicitly that the purpose of sex is for procreation. Also, it never mentions that sex is forbidden with regard to recreation. Therefore, married men can have sex with their wives for recreation (namely without the intention of producing offspring). Thus, the natural purpose of sex is recreation (in addition to procreation), according to this interpretation. Incidentally, scientific advancements have made it possible for married couples to have sex without worrying about producing offspring. A married man can use condoms as contraception, and the wife of a married man can use different types of contraception such as birth control pills, the birth control ring, the contraceptive implant, the contraceptive diaphagram, the cervical cap and an intrauterine device (IUD). Married couples can also use natural methods of contraception (namely family planning). Some people prefer to use artifical contraception, while others prefer to use natural methods of contraception.

Whether sex is for procreation or recreation or for both procreation and recreation from the quran's point of view, doesn't mean that it's pointless to keep desires in check (namely to keep them under control or to conquer them). You might be right when you say it's a worthless effort to keep desires away (namely to get rid of them). But there are many good reasons to keep desires in check. Numerous people think it's not a worthless effort to keep desires in check. Numerous people think it's both possible and beneficial to master ones desires instead of letting oneself be controlled by them. Numerous people think there's no freedom without self-control and that an uncontrolled man can't steer his life on the right course. Numerous people think the higher degree of self-control a man has, the better he will be able to succeed in his worldly and spiritual endeavours. Numerous people think the time spent on following desires that aren't advantageous (beneficial) can instead be spent on more important matters. Numerous people think desires that are excessive can be harmful and can lead to decadence. Numerous people think excessive desires such as the desire to overeat is bad, and that this desire should be controlled. Numerous people think an excess of anything is bad, and that excessive desires are no exception to this principle. I am sure that you can see by now that it's worthy and advantageous (beneficial) to conquer desires.

By the way, it goes without saying that the majority of people believe sex is for both procreation and recreation. To put it in another way, the majority of people believe one can have sex to procreate (with the purpose of producing offspring) and that one can have sex for pleasure (without the purpose of producing offspring). Throughout history, only a minority of people believed sex is solely for procreation. Did you know that philosophers such as Musonius rufus, Thomas aquinas, Immanuel Kant, Augustine of Hippo and Ghulam Ahmad Parwez believed that the purpose of sex is procreation? Why do you think that only a minority of philosophers believed that the purpose of sex is procreation? Further, there seems to be a lack of scientific evidence in support of the claim that sex is solely for procreation. Why? Was it because they adhered to monasticism and ascetism? I counsel you to contemplate on these questions.

I will reply to the rest of your post in my next post...

The_Middle_Path

After all.. What is the benefit of leaving it away or conquering desire? What one expect in this world and in the lifeafter by conquering desire?

There are many benefits of conquering desires. By way of illustration, a man who desires to buy and eat chocholate (with white refined sugar and GMO soy lecithin) every day, will benefit both economically and health wise by conquering his desire. To put it in another way, a man who buys and eats a chocholate daily due to his immense desire for this food product, will benefit both economically and health wise if he stops buying and eating chocholate every day. Also, some companies in the cocoa industry profit from slave labor. So if the man stops buying chocholate made with slave labor, then he stops supporting slave labor. If enough people stop buying chocholate made with slave labor, then those companies that use slave labor, will be forced to change their unethical ways in order to continue making profit. This will benefit those who work on cocoa farms immensely.

When it comes to desires, numerous people think there are physical, mental and spiritual benefits of practicising sexual abstincence/semen retention. Throughout history, a lot of great minds practiced some form of sexual abstinence/semen retention. The following thinkers practiced some form of of sexual abstinence/semen retention; Hippocrates, Galen, Pythagoras, Plato, Leonardo Da Vinci, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Nikola Tesla, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Soren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, Michelangelo, Aristotle, Baruch Spinoza, Ludwig Van Beethoven, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Herbert Spencer, Saigo Takamori, Henry David Thoreau, Mohandas Gandhi and Orville and Wilbur Wright. If you'd like to read some articles about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention from the SR community, please check here and here.

If you'd like to read some books about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention, then please check the books below.

I heartily recommend the following books

The coiled serpent by C.J. Van Vliet
Brain Gain by His Holiness Danavir Goswami
Libido Dominandi by Michael Jones
Practical methods to insure success by Hiram E. Butler
Continence and its creative power by Swami Jagadiswarananda
Science Discovers The Physiological Value Of Continence by Raymond W. Bernard

I think the articles and books above are interesting and educational and contain some useful/helpful information about the benefits of sexual abstinence and conquering desires such as lust. But I don't agree with everything that's mentioned in those articles and books. The articles and books above are archaic and a little extreme, in my opinion. But I still think it's worth reading them. However, I think its prudent/reasonable to read them with a grain of salt. Also, I'd never put the knowledge in those articles and books on a pedestal. As I have previously mentioned in this thread, I think the most profound information about how to conquer desires is in the quran.

Is there any promise from God or gods or nature that one will get benefit immensely by conquering desire?

The quran declares that the benefit of conquering desires is the attainment of paradise (7940-41).

I'd like to end this post with a few quotes on desires.

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." - Augustine of Hippo

"Ever fed, never satisfied. Never fed, ever satisfied." - Paramahansa Yogananda

The_Middle_Path

Peace Jafar, and fellow members

You're welcome.
By the word 'desire' here do you actually refer specifically to sexual desire?
Ok then let's dive in to that.

Yes, I was referring to lust, but also desires such as greed, pride, indolence and anger.

Let's take an example, the life of Siddharta, do you know how he "conquered" sexual desire?
Not by fighting it but by achieving such desire in great abundance.

Thanks for sharing the story of Siddharta. I have read it in the past. But it's nice to read it again. Although the historical Siddharta might have might have been a little different than the Siddharta depicted in the ancient buddhist texts that probably have been changed/rewritten (tampered with), I think there are some very enlightening teachings in those texts. I like several stories from the philosophy of the east. Because I think there is a lot of profound insights in them. Actually, two of the most interesting and educational stories I have read about how to conquer desires, are from the philosophy of the east. I consider them to be really good. One of stories is by Swami Jagadiswarananda and the other one is by Lu Sheng-Yen. Since you seem to like the philosophy of the east, I think you might like the stories. If you'd like to read the stories, you can read them in thislink and in thislink.

As such 'desire' by itself is not good or bad, it's the action (karma) for achieving the desire that can have implications and consequences which might be potentially be good or bad based on perspective.

What you say make sense and I mostly conqur with you. At the same time, it seems that desires such as lust, indolence/sloth, gluttony, pride and anger are not positive desires. Additionally, they can lead to negative consequences (karma). Also, there seem to be a difference between desires and needs.

Back to 'sexual desire', as mentioned it is not good or bad, but how the action (karma) for achieving the desire can have implications which potentially be good or bad based on perspective. One need to be mindful of such implications.

What you say make sense. The consequence (karma) for achieving the desire can have implications which are potentally good or bad based on effects as well as perspective, in my opinion. If the effects are bad, the desire is bad, if the effects are good, the desire is good, in my opinion. Furthermore, I think perspective is crucial with regard to achieving the desire. So your view is definitely reasonable/prudent.

The_Middle_Path

Peace fellow members,

There are some quotes that I want to share with you all. I think the quotes are relevant to the topic of this thread. Also, I think the quotes shed some light on the topic of desires. But I don't agree with everything in them. The quotes are archaic and a little extreme, in my opinion. Nevertheless, I still think it's worth reading them.

"Where lusts and desires are deep, the springs of the heavenly are shallow."

Zhuangzi

"If you want to destroy any nation without war, make adultery or nudity common in the young generation."

Saladin

"Michelangelo’s contemporary Ascanio Condivi, who was also his biographer, described Michelangelo as having “monk-like chastity.”

Anthony Hughes, author of “Michelangelo (Art and Ideas)

"As long as the satisfaction of the appetites and lusts of the flesh is included in man’s ideals and aims, he never can rise above the plane of animalism."

C.J. Van Vliet

"The way to chastity is not to struggle with incontinent thoughts but to avert the thoughts by some imployment (sic), or by reading, or by meditating on other things, or by convers."

Isaac Newton

"You may wonder what made them do this, you may wonder if I had some strange power. Let me tell you that I did have a power and this is it — never once in my life did I allow myself to have even one sexual thought. I trained my mind, my thinking, and the powers that man usually uses along that line I put into a higher channel, and it developed a force so strong that nothing could resist it."

Swami Vivekananda

"Socrates first prescribes abstinence from sexual pleasure. A conventionalized treatment of his view on sex then follows which illustrates and amplifies the earlier summary treatment of its dangers…Xenophon makes the wrong move and finds that though sex may be a pleasure, it makes you a slave."

Vivienne, author of The Framing of Socrates The Literary Interpretation of Xenophon’s Memorobilia.

"Although Saigo would remarry twice, father five children, and keep a company of Kyoto geisha, in 1854 he prided himself on avoiding women entirely. He saw abstinence as empowering rather than constraining he swore, for example, to keep a monk’s vow of celibacy if his lord, Shimazu Nariakira, had a healthy male heir. In his youth Saigo saw sex not as pleasurable dissipation or intimacy but as an impediment to happiness and loyalty."

Mark Ravina, author of the Last Samurai The life and battles of Saigo Takamori

"Freud held the opinion (based on personal experience and observation) that sexual activity was incompatible with the accomplishing of any great work. Since he felt that the great work of creating and establishing psychotherapy was his destiny, he told his wife that they could no longer engage in sexual relations. Indeed from about the age of forty until his death Freud was absolutely celibate “in order to sublimate the libido for creative purposes."

Ernest Jones, author of The life and work of Sigmund Freud

"I don’t ejaculate for six weeks before the fight. No sex, no masturbation, no nothing."

David Haye, world heavy weight boxing champion

"There's a kid named Cassius Clay(Ali). If you bet on him every time he fights, you'll be a rich man. I believe his thing is sexual control. Any kid who can control his sex can win the title."

Harry Wiley, olympic boxing coach

"I have nothing but approval for sex and love between two people who want to do it.. But sex for the sake of sex is an unnecessary expenditure of energy. The worst things is to have sex without fulfilling nature's purpose. In other words, sex is the instrument of procreation."

Helio Grace, martial artist and cofounder of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

"A wrestler must be celibate because semen is regarded as the primary source of strength.”

The Great Gama, undefeated world champion wrestler

"Do no dissipate in any form whatever. You should sleep alone, and from eight to nine hours. Get up at 530 and take a walk."

Martin “Farmer” Burns” World Champion “catch-as-catch-can” wrestler, coach, writer and teacher

"Moderation in sexual intercourse is very important. Sexual abstemiousness should be strictly observed during the early age of manhood and development. He who observes this recommendation will soon benefit by the immense prerogatives of chastity. A few years ago a colleague of mine said to me “Nonsense, that is only human nature.” This “clever” man, however reached only a secondary position as a strong man, and now, at the age of thirty, he is actually degenerating as an athlete."

Georg Hackenschmidt, strongman, wrestler and sports philosopher, who is acknowledged as professional wrestling's first world heavyweight champion

The_Middle_Path

Peace Euphoric,

There's whim and there's desire. Whim is impulsive while desire is a want or wish.

Whims shouldn't be followed while desire should be kept under control.

Mukhlaseen means those who purify, to separate and get rid of adulteration.

Thank you for your meaningful and helpful/useful post.

jkhan

Peace jkhan, and fellow members

Your claim sounds reasonable when you say that those three (things) make a person go against God. But are you sure that other than that, having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view? If having desire of any nature is absolutely fine from the quran's point of view, then why has the word desire been portrayed in a negative light in multiple verses in the quran? In fact, the word desire has been portrayed in a negative light in several verses in the quran (1828, 2016, 2543, 2850, 4523, 7175-176).

If we desire, we can spend 15 hours a day watching TV shows, and/or playing video games and/or being on social media platforms. Doing these things 15 hours a day, isn't forbidden and impossible and neither has it anything to do with achieving something in an evil way. But if a man desires to spend 15 hours a day doing these things, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? Also, what about gluttony, is it an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view? No, absolutely not. It is evident that gluttony isn't an absolutely fine desire from the quran's point of view (6141 and 731). Therefore, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine from the quran's point of view.

I'm sure that you are aware that doing particular actions and choosing a particular course makes a man come closer to God (3437). Besides, the quran shows us that there are several paths that one can take. Furthermore, those paths aren't equal whatsoever (261, 314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). To put it in another way, some paths are more treasured and advantageous (beneficial) than others. To give an example, worldly goods aren't forbidden in the quran, aren't impossible to acquire and it's possible to aquire them in a good way. Regardless of this fact, the quran considers belief in God and doing good deeds far more important than acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Humans need worldly goods such as food, clothing, tools, houses an so on in order to survive and grow (thrive). Also, the quran doesn't advocate poverty (2268, 928 and 1726-30). Nevertheless, the quran counsels us to put belief in God and doing good deeds far above the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods (314-15, 924, 1846 and 1976). Therefore, it isn't an absolutely fine desire, to put the pursuit of acquiring worldly goods above belief in God and doing good deeds, from the quran's point of view. Thus, having desire of any nature isn't absolutely fine, from the quran's point of view.

Peace MP….

Your topic is conquer desire… Desire shouldn’t be conquered.. coz desire is part and parcel of life.. Excessive nature in anything is not desire … I want to eat Chocolate cake … I sense a desire.. so I go to a café and enjoy a piece or couple of pieces of them… desire accomplished… what if I eat again and again on the same day and continue everyday… it is not desire … it is madness and excess… Don’t complicate desire with excessive approach.. Excess always not good… and never recommended by God… They eat like cattle… what does it mean? One thing for sure is excess…
This is the definition of DESIRE “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”
So.. try to grasp within that…
Let me turn towards the point I raised having sex 10 times… I in fact meant having 10 times having sex in a complete day (24hrs)… having sex is a desire… satisfaction is key… even when a couple is on the bed together.. They may do few times.. and in the end they may end up doing several times.. But only having sex is not life… life is versatile… while keeping everything in balance and involving in sex until they satisfy is no harm.. it is not excess .. Excessiveness is when they forget the rest of the life and responsibility and remembrance of God etc and only doing one thing most of the time and leaving other matters aside…So excess in anything even in charity is bad.. Don’t give everything and be mad in the end without anything for you… If a person kill one and it is allowed only to kill one, no excess…
2567 And those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, moderate” 3147 Our Lord, forgive us our sins and the excess in our affairs and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.”

So, Brother / Sister MP… what you have brought in this particular thread is totally not relevant to your topic and what I have explained saying (FORBIDDEN, IMPOSSIBLE and EVIL WAY)… coz EXCESS is non of the these but something which God doesn’t like and not recommend.. perhaps you get me what I say..
so the examples you brought, like watching TV 15 hours is definitely excess unless he or she not misses any other of his responsibility or remembrance of God... suppose if there is a Tennis match going extending up to 6 hours or a cricket match taking almost 8 hour people tend to watch.. it happens... but we can't leave any of our responsibility or remembrance of God but in between you may watch.. no harm.. it is not excess coz you have not discarded anything during the day and still watched TV.. Watching TV is just a stagnant activity .. so during watching you can do many things.. you can praise Lord etc etc.. I wonder who has time to watch TV everyday 15 hours without leaving the seat.. that's madness..
for example those who work going to office stay there for almost 8 hours and mostly doing only office work leaving all other personal works..it is not excess it is a commitment.. for that he or she is committed.. but those who have little free time like can involve in other works as well.. coz you get free time naturally in office... you can praise Lord.. you can do anything which is good other than office work.. but when the work is there do what you have to do.. it is not excess though chunk of your time is spent in office..

for your rhetorical question, i would respond when i am free in office..

jkhan

@ MP

It is both for recreation (fundamentally) and in the end it may end as procreation depends on personal choice and God’s Will …
I would like to leave animals aside in this topic… coz I have no idea for what purpose a male cat do have sex with a female cat and in the end male cat have no connection to both female cat and its kitten.. let’s talk about human here..
In sex definitely there is pleasure needless to elaborate.. even without sex being together … one would ask for what purpose a husband does kiss his wife.. it has pleasure.. if all these pleasures in the form of RECREATION not permitted if the purpose of couple is not meant for PROCREATION .. Coz of your concern so many questions will be raised..
1… When a couple involve intercourse they don’t know whether they will have a child in the end by their pleasure act.. it is in the hands of God…. Their act of sex won’t create, but God creates what He Wills. their act is mere pleasure.. but when she gets pregnant they are happy.. new feelings..
2…. When the couple meet doctor, Dr. may say it is perhaps impossible that you both can have a baby… so… what you recommend not to have sex.. or Keep on having.. perhaps after ages you may get a baby… so.. clear injustice.. these couple enjoy since they don’t have baby while those who have a baby cannot…
3… What about family planning… Do you think family planning is not recommended.. suppose a couple wants only one kid depending on their capacity.. so they have already one kid.. So every time they both be together in their chamber, you want them to control their feeling while sleeping together a man and woman on the same bed being husband and wife they want to be extra vigilant not to have sex.. that’s far from truth.. impossible for a long period..
4… So using contraceptive sheaths are not recommended since the purpose of condom is only birth control while indulge in pleasure …
5… leave the newly married aside.. if the purpose of sex is only for procreation, what about considerably old couples when their children are teens.. do they just live without even thinking about sex at all… This is unnecessary stress to life which God never ever restricted..
Etc etc. etc..
If Procreation is the only purpose of having sex, why God would naturally apply pleasure while having sex.. why the moment everyone is involved in sex is embodied with immense pleasure.. God could have created the sex of human being without pleasure just for procreation… This is a great gift from God to all his creatures.. God has given pleasure in everything..
You may wonder in the hereafter there may possibly be no children though God chooses couples .. they may live together forever in Janna but most probably without children but for sure intercourse may take place when we closely look at the verses…So it is recreation and not procreation in the hereafter.. Procreation is God’s Job.. We can’t create.. We enjoy and if we want children we look forward to it ..
I cannot agree with anyone if they say sex should be only for procreation.. never.. If it is only for Procreation I suggest to anyone just have sex only once in life time and wait perhaps God will you will have a child.. in case it didn’t happen after few months.. Try once more.. Until you find your wife pregnant.. No need to have sex everyday until she gets pregnant.. Recreation is manifest even those whose purpose of sex is only Procreation..
Simply don’t stress on things that God has not restricted… while God is so merciful and kind and He has given us ways of pleasure and enjoy it.. be thankful… so simple..

jkhan

There are many benefits of conquering desires. By way of illustration, a man who desires to buy and eat chocholate (with white refined sugar and GMO soy lecithin) every day, will benefit both economically and health wise by conquering his desire. To put it in another way, a man who buys and eats a chocholate daily due to his immense desire for this food product, will benefit both economically and health wise if he stops buying and eating chocholate every day. Also, some companies in the cocoa industry profit from slave labor. So if the man stops buying chocholate made with slave labor, then he stops supporting slave labor. If enough people stop buying chocholate made with slave labor, then those companies that use slave labor, will be forced to change their unethical ways in order to continue making profit. This will benefit those who work on cocoa farms immensely.

When it comes to desires, numerous people think there are physical, mental and spiritual benefits of practicising sexual abstincence/semen retention. Throughout history, a lot of great minds practiced some form of sexual abstinence/semen retention. The following thinkers practiced some form of of sexual abstinence/semen retention; Hippocrates, Galen, Pythagoras, Plato, Leonardo Da Vinci, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Nikola Tesla, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Soren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, Michelangelo, Aristotle, Baruch Spinoza, Ludwig Van Beethoven, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Herbert Spencer, Saigo Takamori, Henry David Thoreau, Mohandas Gandhi and Orville and Wilbur Wright. If you'd like to read some articles about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention from the SR community, please check here and here.

If you'd like to read some books about the benefits of sexual abstinence/semen retention, then please check the books below.

I heartily recommend the following books

The coiled serpent by C.J. Van Vliet
Brain Gain by His Holiness Danavir Goswami
Libido Dominandi by Michael Jones
Practical methods to insure success by Hiram E. Butler
Continence and its creative power by Swami Jagadiswarananda
Science Discovers The Physiological Value Of Continence by Raymond W. Bernard

I think the articles and books above are interesting and educational and contain some useful/helpful information about the benefits of sexual abstinence and conquering desires such as lust. But I don't agree with everything that's mentioned in those articles and books. The articles and books above are archaic and a little extreme, in my opinion. But I still think it's worth reading them. However, I think its prudent/reasonable to read them with a grain of salt. Also, I'd never put the knowledge in those articles and books on a pedestal. As I have previously mentioned in this thread, I think the most profound information about how to conquer desires is in the quran.

The quran declares that the benefit of conquering desires is the attainment of paradise (7940-41).

I'd like to end this post with a few quotes on desires.

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." - Augustine of Hippo

"Ever fed, never satisfied. Never fed, ever satisfied." - Paramahansa Yogananda

Again MP you are repeating keeping the excess in your mind... God has clearly stated excess in anything is not good... Coz our body and mind is not created to adjust for excess.. try to grasp it in your own way.. There is no benefit in conquering DESIRE... yes, conquer the excess.. fine.. it should be done.. that's better in any angle.. but not desire..

by the way highlighted verse never speaks of desire.. it is inclination / tendency

7940-1 But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from inclination / tendency, Then indeed, Paradise will be refuge.

get the correct meaning of Hawa by this verse 4135 "So follow not (hawa)inclination, lest you not be just.... "

The_Middle_Path

Peace jkhan,

Your topic is conquer desire… Desire shouldn’t be conquered.. coz desire is part and parcel of life.. Excessive nature in anything is not desire … I want to eat Chocolate cake … I sense a desire.. so I go to a café and enjoy a piece or couple of pieces of them… desire accomplished… what if I eat again and again on the same day and continue everyday… it is not desire … it is madness and excess… Don’t complicate desire with excessive approach.. Excess always not good… and never recommended by God… They eat like cattle… what does it mean? One thing for sure is excess…
This is the definition of DESIRE “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”
So.. try to grasp within that…

Thank you for your reply.

In my studies of the Quran, I have found several verses which urge us to conquer desires (2543 and 7940-41). To put it in another way, there are several verses in the quran which urge us to keep desires. It seems that if desires are not kept in check, they can become excessive. Case in point Man A desires to eat chocholate. But he keeps his desires in check and only eats chocholate 1-2 times per week. Man B desires to eat chocholate. But he doesn't keep his desires in check and ends up eating chocholate 2-4 times every day. Both Man A and Man B desire to eat chocholate, but one of them keeps his desires in check, while the other one doesn't keep his desires in check. Thus, excessives desire are a reality. If you don't agree with regard to this, then let's agree to disagree.

By the way, please read the definition of the word "conquer" from Collins dictionary below.

conquer (ˈkɒŋkə )

verb

to overcome (an enemy, army, etc); defeat
to overcome (an obstacle, feeling, desire, etc); surmount
(transitive)
to gain possession or control of by or as if by force or war; win
(transitive)
to gain the love, sympathy, etc, of (someone) by seduction or force of personality

(Source https//www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/conquer)