Why I can't marry a Sunni!!!!!!!
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This article entitled "Husband's Rights concerning his Wife" landed in my inbox today. I found it amusingly disturbing and decided to post it here.
From my knowledge, the Qur'an mandates muslims to protect, and to emotionally and financially support their wives, not hate and despise them. In return, women should always be cognizant of 1) family unity and 2) give due respect to the husband who supports and provides for her and the family.
Why do many ahadith call for men to be suspicious, tyrannical, and hateful towards women? This article even blames women for men participating in illegal behavior!
All this women hating sounds like some left overs from the Jahiliyah period
Is this a common ideology in the Sunni community ( I wasn't raised in a Sunni household). What are your personal thoughts regarding an ideal marriage between a muslim and muslimah? Roles, working, etc?
Allah, the Exalted, says
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g., their chastity and their husband's property).'' (4 34)
- Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning".
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In another narration The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until morning".
.In another narration Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is above the heaven becomes displeased with her until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her".
.Commentary This Hadith makes it abundantly clear that obedience of the husband is compulsory on the wife. If, in the absence of any lawful reason, she refuses to obey the orders of her husband, she will be liable to the Wrath and Curse of Allah until she returns to obedience. This Hadith has a stern warning for those women who do not care for the displeasure of their husbands because of their bad temperament, stubbornness and habit of dominating their husbands.
- Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "It is not lawful for a woman to observe (voluntary) fasting without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission.".
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Commentary It lays down a principle for a wife that performing Nawafil (voluntary acts of worship) at the cost of the husband rights is not permissible.
- Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported The Prophet (PBUH) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.''
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Commentary This Hadith ordains every individual in society, whether he is a ruler or ruled citizen or even a woman who leads her life within the four walls of her house, to perform his duties within his own sphere. Not only that, every person has been made responsible to reform the state of affairs in his control and establish equity and justice because he will be held accountable for any negligence on his part in this respect.
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Abu
Ali Talq binAli (May Allah be pleased with him) reported Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire, she must go to him even if she is occupied with the oven".
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Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported The Prophet (PBUH) said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband".
Commentary This Hadith also shows the unique importance of the wife's obedience to her husband within her capacity and as long as he does not order her to disobey Allah.
- Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Any woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah".
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Commentary The distinction mentioned in this Hadith is for those women who abide by the duties and obligations entrusted to them by Islam and also endeavour to keep their husbands happy. Allah (SWT) will pardon their ordinary acts of omission and commission and admit them to Jannah.
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adh bin Jabal (May Allah be pleased with him) reported The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whenever a woman harms her husband in this world (that is without any due right), his wife among the (Houris in Jannah) saysYou must not harm him. May Allah destroy you! He is only a passing guest with you and is about to leave you to come to us".
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Commentary The Islamic Shari`ah commands men to treat their wives with kindness. In the same spirit it commands wives to be obedient to their husbands. She can hurt the feelings of her husband by using indecent language, immodest conduct, immoral actions and making unfair demands which are beyond his means. It is very common among women to tease and trouble their husbands by these three practices, except for pious women.
- Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) reported The Prophet (PBUH) said, "I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women".
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Commentary According to this Hadith, women and their beauty are the greatest and most disastrous mischief for men. This fact can be easily verified by observation. Men are generally constrained to take to corruption and unfair means of income to fulfill undue demands of their wives. If women learn to lead a simple life, men will not need much to make money through unlawful means. Similarly, it is women who compel men to hold all kinds of meaningless customs and ceremonies on marriage parties and thereby violate Islamic injunctions, and incur more expenses. If women go by the Islamic injunctions, the marriages would become a greater source of happiness and pleasure.
- Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning".
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Why do many ahadith call for men to be suspicious, tyrannical, and hateful towards women? This article even blames women for men participating in illegal behavior!
This is precisely what's wrong with the so-called Muslims around the world. The sad part is that women like my grandmother believe these hadith. My grand mother said once that's its a sin for a women to raise her voice to her husband.
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Salaam,
I would assume that people should know what to do with marriage as it is simply a RELATIONSHIP between two people who want to be together both emotionally and physically, in ways like kin and in ways unlike kin.
In the quran basically both the male and female should do for each other, there's really no one in control of the other . I actaully feel few muslim men will live up to the structure given in alquran. With taking care of the pregnant wife who is seperating from you or even looking out for the welfare of the family.
Joe
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Peace
AHAHAHAHAHA. lol ...Oh God thank you, for thye laugh!
Who wrote this crap? the commentary is even worse than the hadith itself (and thats bad).To answer your question, you answered it yourself. As men were supposed to protect you if the need arises. I think Joe (as usual) hit the nail on the head with this remark
I would assume that people should know what to do with marriage as it is simply a RELATIONSHIP between two people who want to be together both emotionally and physically, in ways like kin and in ways unlike kin.
The way i imagine being married is a parntership in everything that needs done. Though try and see if anyone can fight me out of the kitchen, i love cooking D
Regards
Noah -
Salaams Salikah, All
Why I can't marry a Sunni!!!!!!!
If you are a man then that shouldn't be a problem. Who else will take sunni women from that garbage if not men like you!!!???
But if you are a woman then yeah, you certainly won't choose to marry a sunni man. -
Salaams Salikah, All
If you are a man then that shouldn't be a problem. Who else will take sunni women from that garbage if not men like you!!!???
But if you are a woman then yeah, you certainly won't choose to marry a sunni man.Even if the man doesn't take the sunni wife away from that garbage, he has nothing to worry about. The hadiths just bash women.
As a girl, I will never marry a Sunni. Even though many Sunni men don't treat their wives like in the hadiths, I am sure that he will not allow me to practice my religion freely. And no way is anyone putting a knife anywhere near my sons!! -
Peace
I personally think you can marry who you choose for whatever reasons you have, but I do not think Sunni men are a bane to women and I am sure there are some good Sunni men out there who could be wonderful husbands.
Joe
So you think that Sunnis are Not MUSHRIK because forbids marriage of Mo'min men with Mushrik woman and Vice versa.
Regards -
Peace
I personally think you can marry who you choose for whatever reasons you have, but I do not think Sunni men are a bane to women and I am sure there are some good Sunni men out there who could be wonderful husbands.
Joe
Even so, it would be difficult to find a sunni who would allow the wife to practise her religion freely and have different views. There will also be problems with raising the children and circumcision.
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Even so, it would be difficult to find a sunni who would allow the wife to practise her religion freely and have different views. There will also be problems with raising the children and circumcision.
Sister ! your observation is correct.
Secondly ,they consider us as "kaafir".I do not think any Sunni male will accept a Quran alone woman or Sunni female will accept a Quran alone male.
My wife got divorce on this basis.Regards
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So what makes a man a sunni? My husband's told me that his entire family is sunni, yet he does not consider himself one. He says he's just a muslim... no label. Would he be considered a sunni just because his whole family calls themselves sunni? He was born and raised in that home, but he's a kind and gentle man and gives me no greif for the way I practice islam. He always says, "God knows better than any man", so he will not judge me. From reading this thread, I'd say I'm pretty lucky.
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So what makes a man a sunni? My husband's told me that his entire family is sunni, yet he does not consider himself one. He says he's just a muslim... no label. Would he be considered a sunni just because his whole family calls themselves sunni? He was born and raised in that home, but he's a kind and gentle man and gives me no greif for the way I practice islam. He always says, "God knows better than any man", so he will not judge me. From reading this thread, I'd say I'm pretty lucky.
He sounds a really good man
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At the end of the day everyone is an individual. It?s easy to taint people in groups but within people differ.
some might think Quranist are off the edge and a bit nutty so shrugs
peace.
peace ;
You are right .Individuals have different attitude. Qadianis have been declared Kaafir in Pakistan.So is the movement there to declare Quranists as Kaafir.
Regards -
It isn't hereditary
Of course it's not!
I realize there are plenty of people out there who were brought up sunni and leave the customary instructions they were taught as a child. Even though my husband never considers himself sunni, I'm certain he's recognized as sunni just because his family is.