Is a man allowed to beat his wife?
-
Peace,
do any of you know the Ahmed Ali translation, published by Princeton University Press, 1988? This translation is very different, it is neither beat nor separate but 'go to bed with them'
"Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women you feel are averse, talk to them suasively; then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) and go to bed with them (when they are willing). If they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great."
Following the Abdel Nur Prado explanation, Ahmed Ali bases his translation on the quranic comentarist Zamakhsari and the philologist el Lisan al-Arab de Raghib who affirms the verb daraba can have the metaphoric meaning of having sexual relations quoting the Arabic expression ?daraba al-fahl al-naqah?, the male camel copulates with the female camel. The most strange is that Raghib gives , exactly, 434 as example.
Had you heard about this translation and reasons?
It is incluided in the Quran in Spanish is this page www.an-nisa.es and the people from whom I knew this is from www.webislam.com
I don't find the Ahmed Ali complete translation on the net, just the links to buy it.
How can be possible so different interpretations.Another opinion against 'beat' explained by webislam is from the saud? Abdul Hamid Abu Sulayman, president of International Institute of Islamic Thought and Dean of the Islamic Internacional University of Malasia who affirms that to express 'beat' the quran uses the verb 'jalada' like in the beginning of sura an-Nur, in regards to punishment for adultery.
-
SaLaM Elena
I wouldnt be supprised if he turned out to be a shia. They are usually the ones making up verses to jump in bed with women. In my opinion, his translation cannot be right. For example, a couple are having a bad argument. The husband tries to rationalize, but she still aruges. Then he Seperates his bed ( which is just bluddy funny coz men always get the couch, so that really dont help either roll ) and as a last resort, go to bed with them? But he would be doing that even when they are not having arguments, wouldnt they? or would this one is going to be any different? In my opinion, seperating is the most logical translation.
-
actually having sex to end an arguement is very effective and leave both sides as "winners". and then theres all the build up tension and the cocktail of hormones in the body at that time, tis good...really it is!
I dig that translation
Peace
Noah -
peace be upon you Elena,
The following website has Ahmed Ali's translation for free
http//www.studyquran.org
Thanks for sharing that about 434. On past experience, I have found the commentary by Zamakhsari to be pretty good. I believe M. Asad draws on his stuff a lot. But that is not to say I agree with it. I would need to look into it further.
Wakas
-
Salaam,
I must say I agree with Noah, it's very effective to refuse sharing the bed.I have experienced that myself LOL.
Peace
Sis Majidah -
SaLaM
I suppose haveing a temporary marriage will also make sense then. Wouldnt it be great if we can all have a temp marriage and see if we can actually see ourself living with the othter person or not?
I also heard sex relieves headaches. So everytime i have a headache, should i have sex? Looooooooooooollllllllll. I mean i wont complain, but is that the right way to go around it?
-
Peace,
Does this question really need to be asked? Can I hit another person? Can I hit an older friend? The guidance from God in my opinion doesn't really tell us who to hit and who not to in everyday life! There are more effective ways of solving problems within a marriage and beating a woman really isn't going to make things better!
If I was a woman (I am not!), then I would personally want my rights and why should another individual husband or not have the right to hit me! Equal rights is prmoted by the Great Reading, making a woman inferior to a man by letting a man hit a woman just is not consistent with the essence of the guidance.
I think most people can answer this question for themselves, what would our society be like if husbands were beating the wives? What effect would it have on kids?
Also would the Most High want violence between couples when the natural law for us is to love and reproduce?!
Nural
-
-
Salaam Jaxal,
I don't think that having sex before the marriage would solve the things.
Look how people nonmuslims are facing this, not with better results and they only play with eachothers and poor innocent babies are coming into this world with no real parents.This is disgusting.
I know of couples who meet eachother during a long period and having so called dates before they get married and this not includs having sex, this can be a good way because then you learn to know the person better.
And to Elena Yes it would be nice if someone can get a good explanation of the word they use to translate as beat.
My opinion is rather advice not beat.
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Peace all,
Is a man allowed to beat his wife?
Certainly not, as per my understanding. On the contrary, on what grounds? If there's a dispute, then advice, coming to terms, councelling, etc., are the first stages of reconciliation. If that doesn't work, then seperation, time-out, etc. would seem appropriate as the next stage. Ofcourse, the final solution is divorce.
Naturally, this entire three-stage process must be given enough time to heal indifferences rather than taking drastic or hasty steps to end relationships, don't you think! Some relationships don't last too long due to negative or ulterior motives/agendas, yet some are simply naive/puppy loves to begin with. And btw, this goes both ways, hence the equality.
-
SaLaM SM
That is the exact reason why i think this new translation which was put forward wont make sense at all and i think the guy is a shia. Having sex to settle an argument is stupid.
Khi- Salam. Not in every case. It all depends on the situation. Many a times sex can be very relaxing and cause the couple to cool down, forget and forgive as emotions of love and tenderness are brought up. And yes we r talking about sex with ones spouse not out of marriage sexual relations. GOD Bless!
-
Salaam Jaxal,
I don't think that having sex before the marriage would solve the things.
Nither having sex after marriage would help to solve the problem.
Look how people nonmuslims are facing this, not with better results and they only play with eachothers and poor innocent babies are coming into this world with no real parents.This is disgusting.
No real parents!!! This is a social stigmata....marriage is not to give the identity to the new born babies. Every baby gets born with the natural identity of parents through DNA. In my opinion marriage is done only to protect the rights of each other. It doesnt have anything emotional to it. We need to get out of this thought that, "babies born without those paper works are not legitimate!!". I think we need to change our view.
For example....I met lot of couple in france who are not married and have children and also living a happy life. Even my uncle in france been living with my aunty for 5 years and next year they are getting married. But their relation was known by everyone of our family and even we had small family functions to celebrate it. but they were never married all this time. Now!! were they doing something ? to me NO... I think they were honest to the society, family and to themselves and thats enough.
Its all in the mind...
I know of couples who meet eachother during a long period and having so called dates before they get married and this not includs having sex, this can be a good way because then you learn to know the person better.
I dont see any problem in having sex also when both know what they are doing and their relation is known by their family and also the society....
It just depends on the way we define things....
peace
-
SaLaM
Give me 5 examples of these situation you talk about where sex will help.
Khi- Salam. Ill give you a general one. For example a couple is fighting over a certain aspect involving finance. The husband claims that the money should be invested elesewhere while the woman insists on it. This would obviously result and tension and frustration on both sides. Now the couple may just sit back and not talk to each other for quite some time and perhaps meet again after cooling off. But since no emotions were involved in bettering the situation traces of the tension would remain. Now if the couple has sexual relations, obviously including emotions(emotionless sex is absolutely useless), the situation of tension will be overridden and would result in immediate happiness and satisfaction. We all know that emotions during sexual relationships often reach their peak. So we can clearly see that this helps. And then you mentioned it yourself tat sex reduces headache. Well wouldn't that be another benefit? GOD Bless!
-
SaLaM idmkhizar
The only problem with ur example is, its a quick fix. At some point, maybe days or weeks, the problem will arise again. If you want the problem to just go away then yes, by all means do that, and its not a guarentee that it will work anyways. In my opinion, people will do that who cant be bothered to sit down and talk it out. Its amazing how easy it is to fix the problem permenantly when both , husband and wife, are responisble people.
Also, when a wife is angry at her husband, he usually gets the bluddy couch. How can someone make such intimate act when he/she cant even see him/her self sleeping with their partner in the same bed?? I would give a better example, but perhaps some other time.
-
Salaam Shamsul-Arefin,
Oh I haven't could imagine that you were so liberal in your thoughts.
Sex before marriage cannot be a solution because were in Quran can you find that God propose this habit!?
Or you are so freethinking that you don't follow what's in Quran, well that's your choice of course there is no compulsion in religion.
But I think that we hear should take examples from Quran as much as we can not only assumptions and own guessing.
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Salaam Majidah, all!
I don?t think that Shamsul-Arefin is `liberal?, I think he is very true to the quran.
How do you define nikah in the frame of the quran?
Do you need to register yourself somewhere?
Do you need some Mullah to recite some prayers?
Do you need the blessings of a church?
Do you need a big celebration with your relatives?Definitely not.
The basic quranic requirement for nikah is two people having an agreement and sharing their responsibilities. I guess that most people here in the west
having a boyfriend? orhaving a grilfriend? perfectly meet the quranic idea of nikah.The wife has the right to receive an amount of money from her husband according to the quran but even this is a pure matter of agreement since she can define the amount of that money (from zero to three billion wink ).
Nikah is not identical to legal marriage or some `church/mullah wedding?. It can be, sure. But basically it is just an agreement.
Allah Hafiz,
Leyla
-
SaLaM idmkhizar
The only problem with ur example is, its a quick fix. At some point, maybe days or weeks, the problem will arise again. If you want the problem to just go away then yes, by all means do that, and its not a guarentee that it will work anyways. In my opinion, people will do that who cant be bothered to sit down and talk it out. Its amazing how easy it is to fix the problem permenantly when both , husband and wife, are responisble people.
Also, when a wife is angry at her husband, he usually gets the bluddy couch. How can someone make such intimate act when he/she cant even see him/her self sleeping with their partner in the same bed?? I would give a better example, but perhaps some other time.
Khi- Salam. I didnt mean to just have sex. Ofcourse after the couple is done with their activity, they can then discuss and sort out the problem in a much more rational and objective way then before. Thats the whole point. Ofcourse you aint gonna just step the problem aside. GOD Bless!
