Is a man allowed to beat his wife?
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peace all
Excellent points, Noah!
And one other point--anger (or any strong emotion) can actually alter brain chemistry in such a way that our body gets used to such reactions over time. Receptors in the brain open up to receive (uptake) the chemicals, so they expect a certain amount to be supplied. When we change, it takes a while for the brain to balance itself out after being bombarded with "anger cocktails" for any length of time.
There are people who get addicted to adrenline and feel depressed if their bodies aren't receiving it at high levels. This can happen in the form of anger or excitement, as in the case of thrill seekers who enjoy the adrenline rush of facing danger.
On the opposite side, acts of kindness, even the smallest ones, can raise serotonin levels in the brain. Helping another person, giving charity, smiling--all of these raise the "feel good" chemicals in our brains.
Simply watching someone do these good things also raises serotonin. Which is probably why (other than the obvious reasons) it's healthier to be in the company of positive, caring people instead of cranky, quick-tempered ones.
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peace Noah,
A small point
Your pupils dilate causing your vision to sharpen and your awareness intensifies.
Theoretically, if the pupils dilate, one's vision does not get sharper, it becomes worse (due to a larger aperture/pupil producing larger blur circles from foci, and due to spherical abberation or off-axis abberation). I would agree though, that one's awareness would intensify, and perhaps this could result in subjectively feeling one's vision is sharper.
Wakas
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peace Wakas
You're right about the actual sharpness decreasing. D Anyone who's ever had their pupils dilated by an eye doctor can attest to how blurry life gets.
Instead of sharpness, perhaps the better way of...er...looking at it would be in terms of the increase in peripheral vision. We have a wider field of vision and, therefore, in the "fight or flight" mode, we are able to respond more quickly to movements all around us.
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Peace all,
What if the disagreement itself is sex related? For example, maybe the husband has diabetes that impairs his sexual function, which in turn brings some tensions to the husband-wife relationship. Certainly in such a case resolving the matter through sex would not be an option.
Thanks
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No and it wouldnt help if he broken his right ear, or if his left foot walked out on him. C'mon that there is nothing but nitpicking. Ofcourse there are situations where it doesnt apply. As is it with every single thing in the world-
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Salaam all,
Haven't this subject growing too big I'm afraid!?
I think sister Sara was already happy with your answers so hey let's move on, right!?
Peace
Sis Majidah -
SaLaM
There are people who smoke weed for reasons other than getting high. And people drink alcohol for reasons other than getting wasted. I guess, its only natural to have sex to settle an argument. People are doing it all. Weather if this is the right way may be another story.
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SaLaM idmkhizar
How is having sex gonna make anything easier or better? lolllA LOT thanks!
In fact it is a great Stress Reliever!!!! -)
'wink'Regards,
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Peace be upon you,
Why would a man want to beat his wife? The God does not like agressors. The description is peacefulness(islam).
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SaLaM LT
This is just injustice then. Smoking Weed is a stress reliever. And everyone frowns upon that.
In any case, When God says part and think about it, maybe we should trust God on this.
Hey I said it for amusement -)
But sex is indeed better than weed believe me, it makes your whole body do some exercise!
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peace be upon you sister Elena,
After some studying...
Ahmed Ali's tranlsation does not match the literal Arabic nor the logic of the signs. Neither does 'beat' follow the sign's suggested logic, nor the logic of 'al quran'.
...faAAithoohunna waohjuroohunna fee almadajiAAi waidriboohunna fa-in ataAAnakum fala tabghoo AAalayhinna sabeelan...
...then you shall advise them, and abandon them in the bedchamber, and leave them; if they obey you, then do not seek a way over them...
The sign advises the husband first to advise/warn them and along with that abandon them in the bedchamber and 'idriboo' them
Now clearly, once the husband advises/warns them, it would be wise for the wife to have some 'alone time' to think about her advice/warning. The husband should distance himself from his wife. To acheive this the sign instructs the husband to abandon them in the bedchamber (this will also have an indirect affect of allowing the wife to think about life without her husband) and (at the same time) to leave/avoid/iDRiBoo them.
By the context, I dont think it means leave them as in divorce them, it just means to limit general contact with them, i.e. 'leave them be'.
Some points
Nowhere else in 'al quran' does it suggest physically harming one's wife.
'al quran' NEVER allows punishment as a way to enforce obedience. At perhaps the most important decision one can make - there is freedom to believe or disbelieve in The God, thus why would The God allow punishment to enforce obedience for a lesser offence (i.e. being disloyal to one's husband) than to disbelieving in The God! or even being disloyal to The God! Highly unlikely.
abandon them in the bedchamber ---> reduces physical contact/interaction
'beat' them ---> adds to the physical contact/interactionThe root DRB seems to have a core of 'to separate'.
The following sign, 435, suggests its unlikely that 'beating' would be taking place because this sign interestingly addresses the audience, perhaps the society or social order, thus the 'beating' would have to be public knowledge, which would be unusual, and secondly the family representative would be willing to reconcile the couple knowing that 'beating' is taking place. Highly unlikely.
Earlier in 434 it suggests the righteous/correct women are obedient (qanitatun). Thus suggesting a righteous/correct wife will take the husband's advice/warning and obey and this is all is needed. This sets the scene for the following words. Would a righteous wife be one who obeys once beaten into obeying? No. This is a solid point when one considers that The God never uses this standard for Himself or anything else, thus why use it here? For it to be used here is impossible, as this would be applying double standards and would make it the odd-one-out in 'the reading'.
And with that last point, I am, for the first time fully satisfied this sign cannot mean 'beat' as this is not only illogical but contradictory.
I hope this has helped clarify the situation.
Wakas
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Peace Wakas,
thanks
how long will it take to remove that wrong verb from so many translationsThe equivalent verse for women would be 4128, right?
4128
FREE MINDS And if a woman fears from her husband desertion, or ill-treatment, then there is no sin for them to reconcile between themselves; and reconciliation is good. And the souls are brought by need. And if you are kind and do right, then God is expert over what you do.the first part, desertion, and the last, reconciliation, are the same in this verse and in 434&35; there are no the advise, abandon, leave instructions, but maybe it is because that was not expected from a wife to a husband at that time in that culture.
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Salaam Elena,
Elena wrotethe first part, desertion, and the last, reconciliation, are the same in this verse and in 434&35; there are no the advise, abandon, leave instructions, but maybe it is because that was not expected from a wife to a husband at that time in that culture.
But I thought that Quran was eternal, I mean that it doesn't matter which culture and epok you live in.
And one more thing is that why must all advices have to be written in one single verse!?
We'll have to read all related verses and make a conclusion out of it and not take one verse and hang out alone.
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Peace,
We'll have to read all related verses and make a conclusion out of it and not take one verse and hang out alone.
that was what I was trying to do, relating verses. At the quran-word- searches I just find those verses speaking about desertion and reconciliation related to husband-wife problems. Desertion gives only two matches and reconciliation 5-7 matches depending on the search chosen, and both desertion and reconciliation together only in 4.128 + 434&35
And one more thing is that why must all advices have to be written in one single verse!?
I don't know, must they? I wanted to find the most similar, equivalent verse. -
Salaam Sis Elena,
Ok, sometime it can be difficult to express oneself clearly in written form.
But what I was surprised of what you wrote, it was that you seemed to think that Quran was written to fit in the old days but Quran is for all times and it doesn't matter if you live now in 2005 or you lived during the 1600 centuary right!?
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Peace,
But what I was surprised of what you wrote, it was that you seemed to think that Quran was written to fit in the old days but Quran is for all times and it doesn't matter if you live now in 2005 or you lived during the 1600 centuary right!?
don't be surprised, please. It is a triumph that I am approaching the quran with the most possible objective mind when I am not attached to any religion. I am interested in knowing what the quran really says to understand the deep impact it has on its followers + I want to extract from it the spiritual teachings I can accept.
you seemed to think that Quran was written to fit in the old days
not to fit, but that revelation was inspired during those old days, wasn't it? I don't find strange some parts are just for those days and that culture. Of course I can see easily how many parts are for all time.
