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  4. Dating and Kissing. Holding Hands

Dating and Kissing. Holding Hands

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  • Z Offline
    Z Offline
    zachlipset
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Noprogressive,

    People can argue all day about this, but speaking from experience...kissing and holding hands leads to what you said you didn't want very quickly. Maybe it depends on each specific person. But if you're a man, then it only leads down one road. That's just how you were designed pal. No offense but you weren't designed to be kissing and hand holding strange people, you were designed however to WANT to be doing those things with someone. The best advice i can give you is to control yourself for now. I don't want to sound like a loser, but trust me, control yourself, its better for you.

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    • N Offline
      N Offline
      NoProgressive
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      As SAlaam Alaikum,

      peace,

      This is discussed in al-quran, so I would recommend utilising God's guidance when seeking guidance.

      Well I can't find it. Could you please give me the Surah?

      salaam

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      • S Offline
        S Offline
        SwedenMajidah
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Salaam,

        I think holding hands, kissing,hugging eachother on a date isn't wrong at all, it's very innocent.

        But of course we humans are screaming after more so then it can lead to zina if u don't behave.

        I haven't found in Quran that this is forbidden, correct me if I'm wrong.

        Peace Sis Majidah

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        • T Offline
          T Offline
          TAJ
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          Peace NoProgressive,

          OKay. I'm at an age now where I want to date! D
          I would like to know... what do you all think of dating? kissing? and holding hands.

          I don't want to commit fornicaiton (zina)... but I do want to date.

          what do you all think of this?

          Does dating have to involve these things?
          That is the gate for STDs and other transmitted diseases. How can you know if those people you are dating are free from them? Some symptons can not be seen at all, other symptons people can be very smart in covering. Don't mess up with your health. It's worth much more, much more.
          The whole idea of staying away from such acts is that you protect yourself, your precious self, and others as well, from any health risk.
          That is walking the straight path.
          Also, kissing is a big deal, bigger than anything else. So better save it to your future wife D

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          • S Offline
            S Offline
            SwedenMajidah
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Salaam sis Taj,

            Who have said that he would have sex with his dates?

            I mean holding hands, come on that's very innocent.

            Peace Sis Majidah

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            • T Offline
              T Offline
              TAJ
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Salaam sis Taj,

              Who have said that he would have sex with his dates?

              I mean holding hands, come on that's very innocent.

              Peace Sis Majidah

              Kissing is the tip of the iceberg.
              I believe that kissing is definitely sex and not just sex, it is the most intimate part of it. I cannot see anything innocent about it.

              How is "hand holding" innocent?
              Who would want to hold your hand if not someone intimately involved with you?

              The hands and the face are your identity. They contain all your senses. Just think about it this way you wouldn't drown if your face is above water, now would you? Your face is your whole life.
              If a woman gives her face and her hands to someone then she is giving her whole.
              That is how I see it.

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              • S Offline
                S Offline
                shamsul-arefin
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                I dont see anything wrong.....can go all the way as long as ur being truthful and not abusing the other partners weaknesses......thats how I think..P

                whatever it is just be truthful and nothing secret unless secrecy is a must. If your parents or friends knows about it, thats even better..hehehe

                peace

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                • S Offline
                  S Offline
                  SwedenMajidah
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Salaam Taj,

                  Well there are different kinds of kisses, who have said something about tongue kisses!?

                  Well I can hold a dear friends hand so why not a dates hand!?

                  It sounds like we are from different continents shock

                  I think we should care about love better than all this evilness in the world.

                  It don't have to involved the sexual intercourse act.

                  Only if they have promised eachother to have a long term relationship.

                  Peace Sis Majidah

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                  • U Offline
                    U Offline
                    unknownuser
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    It sounds like we are from different continents shock

                    Yes you are. You are from Europe and TAJ is from the continent of Saudi Arabia... -)

                    TAJ is outlook is perhaps is that of ownership, your outlook is that of sharing...

                    And if I was to choose between the two? -) wink

                    I think we should care about love better than all this evilness in the world.

                    Aye lassie. We could all do with little LOVE in our lives -)
                    because LOVE make us feel divine!!! wink

                    It don't have to involved the sexual intercourse act.

                    Yes there are various ways of being affectionate with another individual without having to have sex...

                    Regards,

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                    • U Offline
                      U Offline
                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      whatever it is just be truthful and nothing secret unless secrecy is a must. If your parents or friends knows about it, thats even better..hehehe
                      peace

                      rotfl You must have such liberal parents!!! -)

                      Regards,

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                      • S Offline
                        S Offline
                        shamsul-arefin
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        rotfl You must have such liberal parents!!! -)

                        Regards,

                        hey!! its amazing to see parents behavior....sometime they act realy weird... shock ma parents were really conservative, but not in the sense of religion. during ma high school they never liked me mixin with girl..O not even ma cousins. My mom would say " Why I am so interested to talk to girls" shock

                        than came another part...after consequent failurs in life to get a gf..LOL Now my mom feels bad about meee!! shock

                        now she askes me why I dont have a gf ??!!! shock even wants me to get married.. scared

                        parentsssss....... tempt

                        but they are really cool now.. hehe ma younger bro enjoys freedom atleast in this matter..lol.. Now I am strugling to bring freedom to ma sisters.. hehe

                        shanti/peace

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          hey!! its amazing to see parents behavior....

                          I can imagine so!!!

                          sometime they act realy weird...

                          Or they come at you with a beyonet!!! (not that it happened to me or anything!!!) But I had friends whose parents reacted so explosively of them seeing a girl. At one time a friends mother came at him with a broom when he walked in from a date with girl!!!
                          ah those were the fun times!!! wink

                          during ma high school they never liked me mixin with girl..O not even ma cousins. My mom would say " Why I am so interested to talk to girls"

                          This is very true of Muslim Bengali and Pakistani and to some extent Muslim Indian cultures...

                          Why I am so interested to talk to girls

                          As if they don't know!!!

                          than came another part...after consequent failurs in life to get a gf..LOL Now my mom feels bad about meee!!

                          Oh thats interesting - very thoughtful mum!!!
                          I wish every Muslim kid had a mum like yours!!!!

                          now she askes me why I dont have a gf ??!!! even wants me to get married..
                          parentsssss.......

                          But choose your partner chap!!! OK!!!

                          Now I am strugling to bring freedom to ma sisters.. hehe

                          Thats very noble of you -)

                          Kissing isn't BAD (you either Kiss Good or really terribly!!!!)

                          And Holding hands is not BAD (it depends where and how you hold it wink

                          Regards,

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                          • S Offline
                            S Offline
                            shamsul-arefin
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            But choose your partner chap!!! OK!!!

                            Ohh!! no problem on that..they wont choose for me unless I tell them to ..and I am totally against arranged marriage...D

                            Kissing isn't BAD (you either Kiss Good or really terribly!!!!)

                            wouldnt know if I am good or bad..LOL didnt get the chance yet...

                            And Holding hands is not BAD (it depends where and how you hold it wink

                            hmmmm.....well I am an artist..so I am sure there wont be anything less of creativity..P haha

                            peace

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                            • U Offline
                              U Offline
                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              But choose your partner chap!!! OK!!!

                              Ohh!! no problem on that..they wont choose for me unless I tell them to ..and I am totally against arranged marriage...

                              Thats great!!!

                              Kissing isn't BAD (you either Kiss Good or really terribly!!!!)

                              wouldnt know if I am good or bad..LOL didnt get the chance yet...

                              Thats hard to believe for a good looking guy like you!!! and with a talent for snake charming perhaps !!!! -) wink

                              But perhaps you waiting to kiss a true beauty instead of any old dog that comes to you wink

                              hmmmm.....well I am an artist..so I am sure there wont be anything less of creativity.. haha
                              peace

                              Yes, creativity involved when holding a hand of a beautiful gal!!! especially in the dark when you fumbling to find the right place
                              just kiddin -)

                              Regards,

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                              • WakasW Offline
                                WakasW Offline
                                Wakas
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                peace,

                                Well I can't find it. Could you please give me the Surah?

                                I'm not sure what method you were using to look but I typed "dating and quran" into www.google.com and the following site was amongst the list of sites. It is reasonable, and with references

                                http//www.submission.org/teenagers/dating.html

                                There is no "surah" (chapter) on dating, as far as I'm aware. The above article references "ayatin" (signs).

                                You may wish to read it together with general etiquette discussed in al-quran (the reading). Al-Quran is very clear on this issue but on this particular issue, people tend to see what they want to see.

                                Wakas

                                All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                                • J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Jaxal
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #20

                                  SaLaM Taj

                                  Does dating have to involve these things?

                                  DAting CAN involve these kinds of things and its ok. Holding hands is definately ok. And so is kissing. WE always assume when we think of kissing that maybe its going to be that deep tounge twisting down your throat kind of kissing. That is not what i am talking about. Im talking about when you end a date, and its time to bid goodnight, we (the guys) hold her hand and kiss it to bid goodnight. How can that be sex? If i came to you and kissed your hands tht way, do you think we just had sex?

                                  even wants me to get married..

                                  Join the club brother loooolll

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                                  • M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    mquran
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #21

                                    WakasYou may wish to read it together with general etiquette discussed in al-quran (the reading). Al-Quran is very clear on this issue but on this particular issue, people tend to see what they want to see.

                                    Very correct. Sadly, people have began to use the banner of 'quran alone' to legitimise thier opinion. While it's true that al-quraan has quantitatively less rules than sunnism, its rebellion against these liberal notions is pretty clear. Therefore the 'quran alone' preached by some is nothing more than secularism in disguise. Interesting malaise, I never saw this in the early days but these days, its common. The good thing is, we can always refer to the book itself. That never fails and people who project false opinions will be exposed. The lack of verse-quoting in this thread is a clear proof of this irreverence.

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                                    • S Offline
                                      S Offline
                                      shamsul-arefin
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #22

                                      Yes, creativity involved when holding a hand of a beautiful gal!!! especially in the dark when you fumbling to find the right place
                                      just kiddin -)

                                      Regards,

                                      turban quite imaginative u r.......!! trance

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                                      • U Offline
                                        U Offline
                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #23

                                        Yes, creativity involved when holding a hand of a beautiful gal!!! especially in the dark when you fumbling to find the right place
                                        just kiddin -)

                                        Regards,

                                        turban quite imaginative u r.......!! trance

                                        Not as imaginitive as you are perhaps with you being able to draw nudes. But I do my best with words wink

                                        Regards,

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                                        • S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          shamsul-arefin
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #24

                                          Thats hard to believe for a good looking guy like you!!! and with a talent for snake charming perhaps !!!! -) wink

                                          me GOODLOOKIN...!!! ?? sighhhhh...... I hope gal from ma place could feel that. wah ...they never understood ma charm!!! sun

                                          peace

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