Need help with a dilemma

unknownuser

HI esimsek100,

Ask urself- if u r doing what u believe and understand is right, If yes, Then

seek God's guidance.
dissect and study the belief, pros and cons and think through all of it. Think through what ur future would be like, the hurdles etc. U would know all the answers. Just think through it.

And if u r doing it becoz of lack of self control

completely abstain (even thoughts)from it for a while(decide on some time, say 4 months), making urself a promise that u will maintain abstinence and see if u can do it. To take charge of ur self. Whenever it gets difficult, fast for a few days. Gain control of ur self.

It will be easier for u to make a sensible decission at the end of it.

And to help with abstinence period, give this a thought If u fast in ramadan or have fasted, during which u would have controlled such thoughts and actions completely and also ur hunger.... so, u can do now too, if u want it strong enough.......Just be in charge and be very determined.

This is a phase that will slowly pass and it will get easier with time, if u r strong.

And u will be glad too, if u remain strong now.

May Allah guide u and help u!

And if my suggestions are not good enough , dont judge me either.wink

Peace! )

truth

There is a solution that exceeds all others in your scenario. You need to follow the steps below

Buy yourself an AK-47 and several cases of ammunition.
Get yourself a time machine.
Dial in 1520 and location Topkapi Palace, Istanbul.
Complete the coup and assume the sultanate.
You'll have a harem of hundreds to enjoy.

Good luck!

Someone

Peace esimsek100,

I took that path for some time, and surely I had to stop because as you say, signs begin flashing.

You should look for that which has started this sort of behavior, like a separation from a loved one... maybe you are trying to find some thing you have lost, or trying to forget someone by all means.

--

unknownuser

There is a solution that exceeds all others in your scenario. You need to follow the steps below

Buy yourself an AK-47 and several cases of ammunition.
Get yourself a time machine.
Dial in 1520 and location Topkapi Palace, Istanbul.
Complete the coup and assume the sultanate.
You'll have a harem of hundreds to enjoy.

Good luck!

All that trouble just to get laid as often as you like!!!?
I am sure there are better and cheaper and more "fulfilling" option than this these days! -)

I think what esimek is after or majority of men for that matter is the want of guilt-free sex with many women as possible and often as possible -)wink

Thats why I advise to everyone to get married early and have that guilt-free sex as often as you like and then perhaps you will come to realise that sex is just sex, the need of the body and once the need is satisfied then perhaps other things might happen - the dreaded four letter word (if you are lucky that is!!!) wink

Regards,

Komla

My salaam,i got a dillemma,and i want to get different oppinions from each one of you.Lately ive been thinking a lot about this ex girlfriend of mine(before i became muslim),its been a year now that ive became a muslim,so for that whole period of time we were not talking to each other,until recently.We speak about islam on the phone,she has two of her friends who became sunnis.Altho,she did not specifically tell me she wants to know more,but she wants to meet me,and im scared to start developping feelings(anyways its already happening),i know that i cant have no girlfriend because i fear God.But at the same time i dont want to lose her,or i fear that she becomes a sunni,i really dont know can i get some advices??

Jaxal

SaLaM Komla

The Quran does not forbid from having friends. You can be her friend and talk to her about islam. And if you both decide you want to be more than friends, then respect each other. There is nothing wrong with that.

unknownuser

Hi Komla,

.Altho,she did not specifically tell me she wants to know more,but she wants to meet me,and im scared to start developping feelings(anyways its already happening),i know that i cant have no girlfriend because i fear God.But at the same time i dont want to lose her,or i fear that she becomes a sunni,i really don`t know can i get some advices??

U fear talking to her coz u think u will fall in love?
Since When did 'falling in love' become a sinful deed?
Sexual intimacy between a man and a woman is prohibited before marriage.
So, I dont understand what u r scared of really in merely talking to her.
If at all u fall in love, in time and want to be with her, marry her.

Vizard

Having couple of ladies? In love with them, or in love with yourself? shock

Komla

Salaam vizard what do u mean by that?

unknownuser

I love women heaps

I'm a women slave lol , however I know that sex outside the wedlock is NO NO and one hell of a sin so I never come near it

but as Jaxal said friendship with women are one great thing to have as long as you are strong enough to control yourself even if been seduced, if you can't then you should not even have friends from the other sex unless they are true friends

I know it is a big problem but as someone said here the longer you stay strong the easier you will control yourself, the Quran will help you come over this problem if you keep reading it, Salat and fasting also will shut down those sexual desires when they come

peace

Komla

salaam,thx for the reply,i know if i put myself in that kind of situation,its easy to get tempted.But however right now its not really about sex,it`s just having someone to talk to u know....but i also think the question is how strong do i think i am,to be face to face with that kind of situation??

warda

I know it is a big problem but as someone said here the longer you stay strong the easier you will control yourself, the Quran will help you come over this problem if you keep reading it, Salat and fasting also will shut down those sexual desires when they come

Salam Ahmed

did you try it and it worked?

Regards
warda

unknownuser

I know it is a big problem but as someone said here the longer you stay strong the easier you will control yourself, the Quran will help you come over this problem if you keep reading it, Salat and fasting also will shut down those sexual desires when they come

Salam Ahmed

did you try it and it worked?

Regards
warda

Absolutely wards, I had many opportunities to cheat I even went with one woman to her house because she had a crush on me, that was 5 years after I married, however I stopped and left and never saw her again, what stopped me was my prayer

i started to feel the hypocricy in me and that was a killer of a feeling, hjow come I say I believe then I committ one of the worest sins in the Quran?

well I never cheated in 15 years marriage and inshallah never will

i only do it for Allah not for my wife

I also have friendships with many women and I can tell there is at least a couple who have a crush on me, one is older by 10 years than me and I tell you she is so beautiful and charming lady, but she is my work mate and that is how she will stay

Sex is a very tough test that was forced on us, however we are allowed to have it freely within the wedlock

peace be with you

unknownuser

Hello sister warda

The Quran in fact told us that the Salat will help us overcome this huge sin

"Recite that which has been revealed to you of the Book and keep up salat; surely salat keeps (one) away from indecency and evil, and certainly the remembrance of Allah is the greatest, and Allah knows what you do"

(45)

peace be with you

warda

Salam Ahmed,

thanks for being so honest

Regards

TAJ

Peace Ahmed,

The Quran in fact told us that the Salat will help us overcome this huge sin

"Recite that which has been revealed to you of the Book and keep up salat; surely salat keeps (one) away from indecency and evil, and certainly the remembrance of Allah is the greatest, and Allah knows what you do"

(45)

peace be with you

Fasting for a day or two or even three days in a row when a crush hits is an efficient way to end it. The result is instant.