Chaste until u wed
-
Hi all
I know, deep down we all know the right from the wrong etc, and like many say, even without Quran having to tell us that stealing, murder, lies etc are wrong, we would know it within our conscience, right?
Now, to my question, How many of u would have believed in and preferrred chastity until u wed, if Quran did nt mention it at all?
Say, there are no verses in Quran regarding chastity etc
Would u remain chaste until u wed, and find enough reason and strength within ur self to do so?I know its tricky, wink but it just occured to me.
So, how does it go?Peace!
I can very easily be chaste -)
But even in sexually permissive societies some do remain chaste too.
There are some chaste atheist I know winkRegards,
-
Interesting and very hard question to answer.
I am chaste, have been so for 30 years, el hamdu lel lah I am getting married insha'allah in the summer.
In my life I have been tempted and almost gave in, and I thank God that I never did, and remember feeling proud of myself for not doing so. Still, it is very hard to say if I would feel that way if I didnt have my upbringing in a muslim family. The question requires you to be able to imagine yourself without some things that are at the core of our being...so I dont know how to answer that! -
Would u remain chaste until u wed, and find enough reason and strength within ur self to do so?
Speaking for myself, no. Absolutely. It's in our instinct to engage in sexual activity as soon as we can do it. If the society allows it, then there's no issue to it. You only take precautions (anti-contraceptive methods) and go for it, if you have the chance lol
-
Hi Lote tree,
I can very easily be chaste -)
But even in sexually permissive societies some do remain chaste too.
There are some chaste atheist I know winkOut of choice?
Becoz u believe sex before marriage is wrong?Peace!
-
Hi Osiris,
Congratulations on ur forthcoming wedding! )
Still, it is very hard to say if I would feel that way if I didnt have my upbringing in a muslim family. The question requires you to be able to imagine yourself without some things that are at the core of our being...so I dont know how to answer that!
Yeah, U r right.
There are many factors that encourages one to follow chastity. Two of them being
-religion
-Norms of the society u live in etc
(The question, ofcourse is hypothetical.)If the above two didnt present any clause for chastity, would u abstain from sex before marriage(with someone u love), on ur own, becoz u believe within urself that its wrong?
Peace!
-
Hi Mustaf@salim,
Speaking for myself, no. Absolutely. It's in our instinct to engage in sexual activity as soon as we can do it. If the society allows it, then there's no issue to it. You only take precautions (anti-contraceptive methods) and go for it, if you have the chance lol
That was some honesty
Peace!
-
Hi Jaxal,
wedding is basiclly a promise the man and woman make to each other that they take each other as husband and wife. And do this with God as their witness. I think, i might have done something like that too. That is if i believed in a God.
In the presence of scripture as per ur definition, would u have sex with a person u love without an official wedding,?
And are u saying thats what God means in the scripture?Peace!
-
As Salaam Alaikum,
If Chastity was not mentioned in teh Quran then I would act like .....
See I can't imagine a world, at least a mUslim world, where chastity is not something that is important. In order to answer your question, you are also asking ust o basically discard the way our society is set up, and what we value.
But I guess, if chasitity was not important, and fornication was ok....... Maybe I would fornicate, but being the type of girl that i am, only with the man who I was in a serious relationship with. I can never imagine just having sex with any guy, anytime, etc, etc. The lost of virgnity would probably be still just as important as to me as now (meaning I need to select who I want to give it up to with precuation, lol).
Adultery would most likely not be acceptable by me, aswell.
salaam
-
Hi peacefulmuslim,
An interesting question.
I believe that it is quite possible that I'd act like a human-bunny if I did not believe in being chaste. Though it is also quite possible that I'd realise chastity as a god rule even without the guidance of quran. One merely need a glimpse of the terrifying results that are caused by irresponsible use of sex.
I believe there is a reason as to why the quran mentions chastity, because the quran is a reminder. We humans easily suppress our knowledge; memories and conscience due to our desires. Sex is the second greatest desire of man. Thus it is not strange that the quran reminds us of chastity.
Again, great question. Everyone should ask such questions to others and to themselves.
Nadeem.
-
A tough question indeed
well I married at 26, but from 18 to 22 I had a hell of a life, women, drugs, alcohol and money in a country where if you have a dollar you will equal a dollar if you have nothing you are nothing
the point is somehow i felt it is dirty act and despite all the opportunities I had in my country and overseas, I only had two full sex and that was it and never touched it again, it was so dirty indeed despite the urge, at that time i hardly understood 1/4 of the Quran and never thought it was forbidden religiously, i thought only cheating for married couples was forbidden
i never cheated in 15 years marraige Alhamdullelah, there is also an associated urge with that, Naooza Bellah Min Al Shaitan Al Rajeem
peace
-
For what its worth I would'nt eat leftovers left by a stranger so how could i share my body. For those who hand themselves over to anyone, i bet they have no respect for their own sexuality or the other persons. If they did they wouldn't be with a different person everytime.
1 God , 1 Quran, and 1 True love is all i need. I believe in being totally faithful ,and God help me if my husband went else where for a bit of nookie, i'd kill him.
Lucky for me i love him and trust him completley or else with a job like his he would have every opportunity to get up to no good.
I Have a question too for everyone on this thread. Would you expect your future partner to be chaste and faithful if you are not( or have been sleeping around before marriage) ?
-
Hi Tahira,
For what its worth I would'nt eat leftovers left by a stranger so how could i share my body. For those who hand themselves over to anyone, i bet they have no respect for their own sexuality or the other persons. If they did they wouldn't be with a different person everytime.
I didnt mean having sex with every other person.
My question is, would u consider and believe in (in the absence of any obligation for chastity in the scripture as well as in the society) , ''sex(protected) before marriage'' with some one u love, is wrong?What I am implying is, would u recognise it as a wrong deed if the scripture didnt tell u so?
Like for example, deeds like, stealing, killing , lying etc are wrong and u would know this on ur own, even if the scripture didnt mention it, right?Peace!
-
Most definetly. I can proudly say that even at an age when i could have sneaked off without my parents knowledge and when all others around me were only interested in sex i kept myself to myself. To me their behavior was animal like and abuse of their freedom and this had nothing to do with wether it was forbidden in the Quran.
I didn't have to worry about accidently getting pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted disease or having to lie to my parents and now when i'm married, i don't have to worry about being recognised by someone i might have slept with. I don't have to keep any secrets from my husband.
Knowing that me and my husband were able to control ourselves then when we most vunerable shows how strong we are mentally and not likely to go astray now so we don't have to worry about betrayal and we can't accuse each other of things that we would have done either. -
Salam All,
First of all sister "tahira" i must say how much i appreciate that. Thats exactly what long sighted and intelligent people would do even without knowing about the Quran. Marriage according to Quran is NOT some bells ringing in a church when the bride walks in white clothes and a great ceremony takes place. It is a legal contract between a man and a woman where they both ARE READY TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBIITY in case a child gets born after their sexual relations. GOD wants the children not to suffer coz of ones one minute sexual pleasures. Also sexual diseases are transmitted in the long run if sex is left uncontrolled. Therefore the Quran PROHIBITS taking secret lovers
Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.
Only short sighted people would not see the damaging effects of free and uncontrolled sexual relations to the society and therefore "Lote Tree" is right, many atheists remain chaste because they are not blind and at least realize the damaging effects of such and even that of homosexuality which causes similar disasters to society in the long run. My mom nows an atheist whos against HS. Thus the answer is that long-sighted and educated people will recognize this even without the Quran while foolish, dumb, short sided and ignorant people wont. GOD Bless!