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  4. Marriage

Marriage

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • S Offline
    S Offline
    SarahY
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Hmm well I have a few questions, excuse me if they have been asked and answered already.

    Well I don't know much about the "free mind muslims way" so excuse my ignorance.

    Ok, me coming from a sunni background as far as I know a girl can't get married without the thumbs up of her wali, then from that you need 2 male witnesses not including the wali.

    Whats the islamic view of marriage, can a father/wali give authority to say no to whom asks for daughters hand or in some cases sons hand?

    Do parents/wali have any authority as to whom their child marries?

    hmm I think that'll be all for now )

    Thanks for your time
    Asalamu alaikum

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    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jonny_k
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Salam Sarah,
      All i read in Quran is that SLAVE women, of which there are none at the time, need permission from their guardians i order to marry from the following verse

      Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their(slave women's) guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that for the free women. Marrying a slave shall be a last resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

      Some interpret the 1st undelined statement tor efer to both free and slave women BUT the 2nd underlined statement clearly indicates that the refernce is entirely to slave women since a slave women is FREED. A free woman is already free and does not become more freed after marriage, logically. So no, permission from parents is not a necessity for free women although taking secret lovers is not allowed for any believer be it man or woman according to
      Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.
      That is because it destroys the civilized system and the children wont have a proper security. Thus it is necessary to have legal witnesses to validate the marriage in society. GOD Bless!

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      • S Offline
        S Offline
        SarahY
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Thanks jonny_k )

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        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jonny_k
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Salam,

          Thanks jonny_k )

          JK- ur welcome. ) GOD Bless!

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          • S Offline
            S Offline
            SarahY
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            It would be so complicated to get married openingly without your parents blessings

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            • LaythL Offline
              LaythL Offline
              Layth
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Peace sister,

              Ok, me coming from a sunni background as far as I know a girl can't get married without the thumbs up of her wali, then from that you need 2 male witnesses not including the wali.

              You need your parents/guardien permission if you are still young/dependant on your family.

              ?And whoever of you cannot afford to marry the believing independent women, then from the still dependant believing young women. God is more aware of your faith, some of you to each other. You shall marry them with the permission of their parents and give them their wage in kindness; to be protected, not for illicit sex or taking lovers. If they become protected, then any of them who comes with lewdness shall have half the punishment of what is for the independent women of the retribution. This is for those who fear hardship from among you. But if you are patient it is better for you, and God is Forgiver, Merciful.? (The Message 426)

              With regards to the witnesses...You need to have the marriage known publicly (whether that is acheived by having witnesses or legal registration is all the same).

              Whats the islamic view of marriage, can a father/wali give authority to say no to whom asks for daughters hand or in some cases sons hand?

              Do parents/wali have any authority as to whom their child marries?

              They can say no if the woman is still young/dependant on them. The way to marry whom you wish is to become independant, then you do not need their permission.

              To Jonny,

              Please note that there are no 'slaves' in the verse you quoted (also, what 'slave' has to get his/her parents permission for marriage? - that would defeat the whole concept of 'slavery' in which they are bought and sold like cattle with no say and no family).

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              • J Offline
                J Offline
                jonny_k
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Salam bro "layth",

                To Jonny,

                Please note that there are no 'slaves' in the verse you quoted (also, what 'slave' has to get his/her parents permission for marriage? - that would defeat the whole concept of 'slavery' in which they are bought and sold like cattle with no say and no family).

                JK- The verse says "ma malakat aimaanukum" which literally means "what YOUR right hands posess" and in 425 the YOUR refers to the believers, thus it is talking about slave women or captives of war in their posession. And it doesnt say "parents" but "guardians". I know slavery aint right but once a woman has gotten enslaved due to war captivity, etc theres a certain approach of HIKMAH/WISDOM in order to release her. You dont just go and say to the man "give her out ". That is quite impossible, unsystematic and would likely result in war. GOD throughout the Quran mentioned therefore steps of wisdom in which to ultimate release the slaves systematically. Joseph too was mentioned to have employed wisdom in order to save his younger brother from the rest of the brothers. He didnt just say "im the king. give him to me or die". I hope you understand this very crucial point. GOD Bless!

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                • S Offline
                  S Offline
                  SarahY
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  hmmm ok then ) jazak Allahu kheirun for that...

                  Being a girl in some cultures can be hmm lets say frustrating anyway I won't go into it. Thank you

                  Salams

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