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  4. InterFaith Marriage. Would You Do It? Have you done It?

InterFaith Marriage. Would You Do It? Have you done It?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Marriage & Divorce
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Joie
    wrote on last edited by
    #31

    yay a topic I feel like talking about!

    A couple years after I first converted 8 years ago I was all set to marry a man from Bangladesh. We had been classmates and I had worked for his mother for 3 years. His family knew my family and my mother eventually worked with his mother as well. His parents said no, because I was American. nevermind that I was Muslim......

    We gave up trying to convince his parents after a year or so.

    A few months later I was "wooed" by a guy I worked with ( I had two jobs) at a bookstore. We had known eachother for several years before we decided to give it a try. He was very interested in Islam and we talked about religion often. We married 3 years later. He was raised Episcopalian, but not particularly religious, not much of a holy trinity kind of guy. Our marriage is great. He read the Quran when I am distressed in attempts to find something that will comfort me. He tries to make sure that foods contain no pork or pork products ( he sometimes fails- but he really does try hard!) He engages in some of the best religious discussions I have ever had. He convinced me that I should get my Masters ( oh yeah -I need to share my Thesis with you all... it is about most of the topics on this website and how free-minds Muslims try to form a community online- but I digress). And we will teach our children Islam as well as other religions when it is time for that. We both believe in leading by example and allowing them to choose for themselves.
    Hi parents are wonderful.... both professors- his mother teaches English as a second language to primarily Muslim students and knows alot about Islam because of it. I could have asked for a more excepting family-in-law.
    My husband and I have much more in common that me and that guy from Bangladesh..... so things worked out for the best in the end.
    We have been married two years now and I couldn't be happier- well, I could but that has nothing to do with him.

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    • J Offline
      J Offline
      Jippy
      wrote on last edited by
      #32

      Joie,

      Such a nice story! Sounds like a great marriage. One of my best friends is in a situation where she and a guy are in love but she is Muslim and her parents are strongly opposed to their union, because he is not. He is Korean and his family is strongly opposed because she is not. Its such a shame because they seem made for each other and are so happy together, but neither wants to go against their parents. Its funny how those things go...her mother was a convert from a Christian family and they were upset when she married her Muslim father, but now 30 years later, the mother is giving the same kind of support (which is none) that her parents gave her, and even told her she felt like a failure as a parent because he daughter considered marrying a non-Muslim.

      I am a convert too, I think I would prefer for my children to marry Muslims, but I'd rather them marry a GOOD person of any kind and I certainly wouldn't shun them or not speak to them and although I can't say since I'm not in that situation, I don't think I would feel like a failure. I know many people Muslims, Christians who are married to someone who would be considered the same faith as them, but they still don't worship or practice the same way.

      A couple years ago before I was married (my husband and I were high school sweethearts and in a relationship for about 11 years before we were married) another friends mother told me that the reason that I had such a long engagement is because my father wasn't Muslim and a Muslim father would never let his daughter be in a relationship that long without being married. I had to nicely inform her that my Christian father and mother were very supportive of my relationship and they had been married for 35 years and were still very much in love. The irony is that the woman telling me this had been married and divorced twice and my non-Muslim parents had been married to each other for so long. Nothing against divorced people at all, my point is just that all these lables just lead to judgements and misconceptions. The bottom line is that every case is different. I believe that Allah loves good people of all kinds. Maybe that thinking is kind of simplistic, but that's how I feel.

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      • D Offline
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        drfazl
        wrote on last edited by
        #33

        .
        Faithful mariage is what one needs.
        There is nothing like inter-faith marriage.

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        • D Offline
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          Dotty
          wrote on last edited by
          #34

          Peace everyone,

          When my husband and I married 5 years ago I had been christian my whole life... my husband had been muslim his whole life. About 6 months into the marriage I read the entire Quran... I was expecting to better understand my husband's religion. What I got was a whole new way of life.

          God works in ways we can't even imagine. I accepted Islam after our first year of marriage... all because my husband was willing to marry a christian woman. God bless him more and more.

          Dotty

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          • S Offline
            S Offline
            SwedenMajidah
            wrote on last edited by
            #35

            Peace,

            Nice story Dotty!

            My opinion now is that we shall not look too much on only the religious likeness but instead try to find someone who match our own personality.
            It's harder to change someones personality than to change someones beliefs and outlook.

            Maria

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            • D Offline
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              Dotty
              wrote on last edited by
              #36

              Thank you Maria,

              Personality is a very difficult thing to change for sure. Beliefs are also difficult to change, but if someone is open to listen, I mean really listen, and not argue, but share thoughts and ideas... it can and does happen.

              peace,
              dotty

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              • S Offline
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                Sanita
                wrote on last edited by
                #37

                These are all great stories, but i would really like to hear one of the Mods compliment the stories with what the quran says on the topic...

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                • B Offline
                  B Offline
                  Bosnian_Thinker
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #38

                  As Salaam Alaikum,

                  What do you think of interfaith marriages?

                  Would you marry a Christian or Jew?

                  Have you married one? Did it work out? If not, would you marry a non-Muslim again?

                  I don't think that I will marry a non-Muslim, no offense. I think that it would be too hard and it would be hard to raise my kids Muslims, if my husband doesn't make salat, read the Quran, etc,etc. And with times like these, in a way, I really feel that I need a Muslim spouse to understand me and what I go through in my Muslim Idenitity Crisis. lol.

                  what do you think?

                  salaam

                  Peace.
                  I don't think I could marry a non-Muslim woman. If I did, it would probably plague my mind as long as I was with her. Then I also think about what if I had kids? That would be a complex situation. I don't like the idea. peace

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                  • A Offline
                    A Offline
                    afridi220
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #39

                    Peace.
                    I don't think I could marry a non-Muslim woman. If I did, it would probably plague my mind as long as I was with her. Then I also think about what if I had kids? That would be a complex situation. I don't like the idea. peace

                    There is no choice in this case .

                    The Quran prohibits Muslim men from marrying unbelievers and associators, saying that it is better for them to marry believing women. And do not marry the ...
                    jedi

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                    • B Offline
                      B Offline
                      Bosnian_Thinker
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #40

                      There is no choice in this case .

                      The Quran prohibits Muslim men from marrying unbelievers and associators, saying that it is better for them to marry believing women. And do not marry the ...
                      jedi

                      Yeah, I know.

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