Divorce
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I have a big problem. More than one actually.
I am a 40yo Muslim male, married with two children. Since around 2001 I have been fighting three chronic and debilitating diseases - osteo arthritis, scoliosis of the spine and now severe ulcers due to the nsaids and other pain relievers prescribed by my doctors to help alleviate my pain.
It has been largely a loosing battle physically as my condition is only growing worse and in fact I was forced to stop working because of it since I no longer have much of any manual dexterity in my hands and I am unable to stand or walk without pain for more than 20-30 minutes at a time. I have however maintained an upbeat and cheerful attitude and try as best as possible to live with the pain which I will have for the remainder of my life.
One secondary condition which I have which is due in part to my excessive pain and in part to the meds prescribed to treat it is that I am now impotent. Even the desire is gone.
Now to the big problem. My wife has asked for a divorce several times for several reasons.
I am not working but generating large medical bills not covered by our insurance.
She is working and feels stressed out to have to bear the entire financial burden herself.
I am impotent and rather than understanding, she deeply resents this.Each time we have managed to work it out but yesterday she informed me we are no longer married because we haven't had sexual relations in almost 3 years.
I have studied the Koran but I have thus far been unable to find anything specific to my problems. Searching the net hasn't helped much either since it seems Sharia prescribes divorce in the case of male impotence. Needless to say - we ain't goin' there.
So basically, I'm stuck. What does the Koran have to say about our situation?
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peace yyz
i'm very much touched by your post - it is really hard to be sick and to be abandoned by those that one should be able to count on.
but why do you look for an answer in koran for this matter instead of looking at your relationship ?
divorce is allowed and why should you wish to stay with someone who doesn't share that wish - even though such things can be subject to change
anyway - i wish you the best and don't lose hope
lk
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but why do you look for an answer in koran for this matter instead of looking at your relationship ?
Because the Koran is eternal but my situation is temporal. We should look to it for everything.
divorce is allowed and why should you wish to stay with someone who doesn't share that wish - even though such things can be subject to change
If it were just the two of us then that would definitely be the way to go but as I mentioned we have two children. I myself came from a broken family and it was very hard on my sister and I so I am determined that will not happen to my children. I also made my feelings about this known to my wife prior to our marriage and she agreed wholeheartedly.
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peace yyz
Because the Koran is eternal but my situation is temporal. We should look to it for everything.
yes, but the quran is would i would call general guidelines and your situation is unique. that's what i meant
about your two children i also come from a broken family and things have been hard on everyone - i grew up without my father aso; so when i married i hoped it would be for life; i also have two children and am 40 years old btw )
still i did divorce after 12 years of marriage (the 4 last years were hell).
and we did manage our divorce well, much better than the marriage. we have a good relation now and my kids are happy to have both parents even though we're not togetherbut - each situation is different and i just hope that things will get better for you
lk
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Peace yyz,
I had a cousin in a similar medical condition and marriage situation..his wife left him then filed for divorce.She got custody of course..which isnt always the best for the children..But I hope things work out for the best..Here are the Quranic surahs that speak of divorce.Hope you find what you are looking for
227,229,230,231,232,236,237;334,37,49;582,3;651;66;5
May Allah be with you!