depressed
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Hello dark,
Welcome to the forum sun
You are very articulate if you don't mind me saying this -)
and I am sure many members here will find your contributions to this forum very valuable.
I hope you are able to join us all in our discussions -)
But tell me please why the login id of "dark"? -)
Is that to symbolise your depression? - the darkness you feel inside perhaps?Regards,
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Hi Dark,
Welcome to the Forum!
Hang in there and be strong.
Its just that people who have believed strongly about certain things to be true resist it hard when told that it might not be so. Its very natural. So, just be patient and take it slow with ur parents.Thankfully, I didnt have to deal with hijab in my life. But it was only recently that I came to know about the meat thing.....only from the forum......The other day, I did bring up the subject over phone with my mom(a long distance confrontation)...........and I had to endure a pretty long lecture(not very long but yet...wink ) But then I wasnt upset (infact I was smiling at the other end) becoz I knew exactly why she was reacting the way she was
But at the end of the day, We have to use our God given brains and think wisely. We cannot make excuses to God about that.
So, I would suggest u take it slow with ur parents. Read Quran urself and while explaining ur stand on the issues, use Quran to justify. Coz these traditions that are mixed up with religion can only be flawed through Quran.
Hope to see more of u in the forum.
Peace!
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Thank you peacefulmuslim,LoteTree and Warda for all commentsand encouraging words.
LoteTree thanks for saying you find me articulate..unfortunately my advisor doesn't think so ops )
As for why I chose the login word dark...it has nothing to do with the "darkness I feel inside", in fact I can see only light...it is my love for the dark...that I identify myself with, the silent serene darkness that sheds light on your mind by providing you with an oppurtunity to think. Its in the dark I am most of what I actually am...closest to myself, closest to God, conversing with God...on the most personal terms with Him. -
peace
i tried discussing my views with my parents too. didn't go very well. First, they kept ignoring me for 2 days. But when i brought up the issue of 'namaz' they flipped out. And i am not allowed to read the quran or talk about anything religious or even be on this site.
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As for why I chose the login word dark...it has nothing to do with the "darkness I feel inside", in fact I can see only light...it is my love for the dark...that I identify myself with, the silent serene darkness that sheds light on your mind by providing you with an oppurtunity to think. Its in the dark I am most of what I actually am...closest to myself, closest to God, conversing with God...on the most personal terms with Him.
You are not a poet are you? -)
Silent serene darkness...sheds "light" on your mind?... this is good, this very good! This is analogous to meditation. When you are meditating you are communing with yourself and God...
Look forward to reading your posts on the forum -)
And I hope we can cheer you up soon...try the "THE HUMOUR THREAD" thread on the OFF-TOPIC seciton of the forum...that might make you smile a bit perhaps... wink
Regards,
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Welcome Dark
You said it yourself so elequently...
...opinions differ and diversity makes the world beautiful!
It's true. People see things in different ways, and thats what makes life so darned interesting!! Your parents obviously see things differently to the way you do, but that's ok. I am lucky my parents are open minded, but I have not told my sister I believe. She would go bananas. She's very narrow minded, though she thinks she is very worldly, and I know there would be a huge insult heading my way if I told her about my faith.
My way of looking at it is like this. If I am asked, I explain. That's it. My relationship with Allah is just that - my relationship. I don't believe in wearing my religion as a badge of my identity. If you're white, black, gay, straight, muslim, christian, whatever, it doesn't make you who you are. Everyone is unique, and your own way of finding God has to be right for you. So I would suggest this. Go with the flow. Don't go out of your way to prove a point, but be quietly confident in your faith. As others have said give the folks time and take it slowly. Inflamatory language makes it hard, and it can be easy to lose your temper when you are being abused or suddenly thrown into a heated situation, but if you keep your cool and your faith intact you will find that things will be ok in the end.
Have faith sister. You are not alone. Not only is Allah with you, but we are with you also, and know of your hardship. Strength!! )
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here's a tip for everyone.
Try some reverse extremisim.
I'm sure your family uses western products. Tell them it's the work of the infidel. They are supporting the infidel and thus are infidels themselves.
There are thousands of hadiths, so you can easliy find a couple they are not following. Tell them they are picking and choosing their religion.
If your family reckons they are proper then make them follow all the tennents of traditional islam. Lets see how long they last.
peace.
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Peace Lote
Her description almost sounds like an occult method of meditation.
Welcome to the forum Dark.
Joe
LOL TheNabi...I didn't mean "meditation" but it came out that way...at night in the dark, I am a lot more contemplative and thinking than what I am during the day...also a lot closer to God...I talk to him, like a kid does every night before she goes to bed, confident that He is there...listening to me. The dark provides me the calm I find only occasionally otherwise. I don't think I have graduated to full-fledged "meditation" yet)
And...thank you for welcoming me here!
Thank you flossymoo and burhan21...thanks all!Try some reverse extremisim.
I'm sure your family uses western products. Tell them it's the work of the infidel. They are supporting the infidel and thus are infidels themselves.
There are thousands of hadiths, so you can easliy find a couple they are not following. Tell them they are picking and choosing their religion.
If your family reckons they are proper then make them follow all the tennents of traditional islam. Lets see how long they last.
Burhan21,
This method won't work...I'll tell you why...for example,my family doesn't really want me to wear the Hijab...they just want me to recognize that it is something I am required to do, and by not doing it I am breaking God's law(whatever that means) and should feel sorry about it. For that reason I should think highly about any other female on the street who is wearing a Hijab. roll Go figure...the logic here is we all don't follow what is required but at least we acknowledge this isn't right, whereas you change it to fit your life.Sincerely, this is such an intellectualy constraining view...I just wonder how can you be good at medicine, science, law etc. and not question about life itself...how can one be selectively intelligent? -
Hi and welcome to the forum,
Kudos to you for being able to go through that conversation with your family, I am still trying to avoid mines, In a way, I kind of pray my family approaches me about it first, because I want to get it out in the open, but I can't get up the strength to tell them my religious views. Anyway, I'm glad to see someone standing up for what they believe and not folding under the pressure, hopefully I'll be where you are someday.
Peace (salam)! wink
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Peace n wellcome to the forum dark
Well u r not the first one n u will not be the last one who will ask the logic of religion .Here u will find many who will give u reason that how there religion has answer for every thing the truth has all these answers r just made up to give boost to their egos .About Islam ok leave the hadiths behind n lets come to Quran wut is the logic of four wives wut is the logic of keeping slaves wut is the logic of 1 male witness equal to 2 female witnesses why quran is mainly addressed to man why the punnishment of amputing hand n why god need to send prophet in the first place if god knows everything why the need of creating of a soap opera on earth etc etc dark there is only one answer we have this life for once live it through logic
well logic doesnot work for everything so for that believe on God but not God of those man made religions God of u,r heart who,s signs u see when u love some one whos sign u see when u do a good deed whos sign u see when u r mercifull to some one who sign u see when u help a poor whos sign u see when u r being loved by someone that God is in u,r heart infact that God is in everyones heart but unfortunatly majority of us change that God with the God of man made religions
thank u for reading ignore the grammetical n spelling mistakes i,m just good at that
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Peace,
well logic doesnot work for everything so for that believe on God but not God of those man made religions God of u,r heart who,s signs u see when u love some one whos sign u see when u do a good deed whos sign u see when u r mercifull to some one who sign u see when u help a poor whos sign u see when u r being loved by someone that God is in u,r heart infact that God is in everyones heart but unfortunatly majority of us change that God with the God of man made religions
Demeaningly perceptual, Naxus.
Some people are ready to break their long term loving bonds and family trees for the sake of 'written materials', not knowing the consequences that lie ahead, perhaps an excuse for getting tired/rid of their relationships, leaving the burden on GOD in relations to Quran, because the "Quran says so" and "Allah knows best". A pitiful sight.
thank u for reading ignore the grammetical n spelling mistakes i,m just good at that
No worries, your message is clear.
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Salaam Dark,
Your story really clicked, I too have gone through a similar process in my pursuit of the truth. I know that feeling of depression you're talking about, sometimes I think that it is a result of me having done something wrong and upsetting God. However, I know that deep down in my heart that I have been absolutely honest with myself so that I may find God's truth and attain peace. This is something I feel you are doing too. It?s still not any easier, it?s still a tough ride to bear, but it is one we must persevere through all the way to the end if we truly are sincere. So, in short I sympathise with your experience and commend you for your efforts, it is truly an admirable quality of someone's soul to put God first in their life.
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salaam dark,
Just like you do, I'm moslem by birth. And yeah, we have a little commonality of having parents with similar approach when it comes to religion. However, that doesn't mean we have to follow all of their words in our search for the truth. To my opinion, it's even might be wrong to do so. You don't have to be afraid of anything so long as you've done your best and follow your heart. Mind you, that we've been given a not so clear guide within ourself, our heart. Just follow what it says, of course judge it with your logic too whenever it makes you doubt about something. In my opinion, we would only obtain the so-called "peace" when our logic/mind, our heart, and what we do are leading to the same direction. We don't need to be afraid. My experiences have taught me that the more you struggle you find the truth in Islam, the more you will feel "peace" and close to God, no matter how hard the problem you face. Moreover, oddly enough, those "peace" comes when I face ever stronger obstacles. I don't know why.just my two cent -- half-way around the globe, sleepless coding and number crunching ;D
greetz,
Pinczakko