internet porn

samina

salam
i apoligise to all those who feel tht it is not decent to post such topics on religious forums
but i feel everything related in life is related to religion n some way or the other after all Allah is always watchin us
i am high school teenage girl n as u can understand durin this stage adolecents go through a lot of change wether it be emotional , or sexual
most of my friends have seen porn at sometime or the other
we have other things to concentrate on like our studies building up our careers ect , no person can even think of getting married but the problem is tht it is at this very stage the sexual desires are at its peck
thts wht one of my friends mother who is a doctor told me n advised me to take care of my self

so now to the main point , i know watchin porn is wrong according to islamic values but how far can a adolcent control its desires , how much control can we have on ourselves when access to all this material has become so easy

pls give any advice or any suggestions AND ALSO SOME AYATS FROM HOLY QURAN by which it becomes little easier for us not watch all such materials

unknownuser

Peace

The Quran told us to "Aghdid" our sight, i.e. when we see something bad we should look the other way ot look into the ground, i do this all the times actually when I see an almost naked woman in the street, even if she is covered I still look away so I don't recognise her humps and lumps undder the cloth,

so it is really easy, if you are using the computer and suddnely a porn poped up, you have three options

close the pop up and start doing something else that moral
watch it and enjoy it then look for more porno on the net

peace

savage_carrot

Peace Ahmed,

so it is really easy, if you are using the computer and suddnely a porn poped up, you have three options

close the pop up and start doing something else that moral
watch it and enjoy it then look for more porno on the net

Er, what's the third option?

unknownuser

Peace Ahmed,

so it is really easy, if you are using the computer and suddnely a porn poped up, you have three options

close the pop up and start doing something else that moral
watch it and enjoy it then look for more porno on the net

Er, what's the third option?

lol sister

good catch, to be honest, i write my comments as they come to mind while I'm responding, when i started replying to sister samina, somehow I had three options in mind "they just hit me quick" then while writing them somehow I forgot the third one as i found the two i mentioned cover everything, so i didn't put it down lol but forgot to change the word three to two lol , that was funny sister Nadia, however I will try to think hard and remember the third option as I think it was something valid

Peace be with you Nadia

savage_carrot

Peace bro,

It's no problem, I just thought the third would be interesting as these two cover a lot of ground anyway, especially regarding a popup of dubious nature on the net )

samina

salam
i really wish following ahmed bahgats suggestions was so easy as it seems
when a person has a desire for something ,what can tht person do , a strong urge or a need for something
its not the pops up which is makin a problem it is the desire
i really appreciate all the suggestions and advices given by everyone
i some how feel tht most of the people on the forum are married and are adults
pls try thinking it according to teenagers point of view , who is curious to know abt things and worse its desires for all this is at its peck at this age
he/she may have had some sexual relations with opposite sex or may have not , if he/she has done it then it becomes more difficult to control but if it hasnt then he/she is curious n tht becomes a problem

TheNabi

Peace

Your desires are not necessarily your needs. Do you need this? Would it kill you to turn it down?

Joe

ichephren

Peace all,
Samina, I can assure you that pretty much all single Muslims who hold to their duties are frustrated. It would be very weird if we were not frustrated by the wait. But really, it is not worth it to your spirit to indulge in something that obscene. Everything you experience leaves a mark on you, and porn is one of the worst since it's so easy to find and addictive to many people. There was an Oprah show not too long ago about a pastor who was addicted to internet porn even though he was married. It ended up almost ruining his marriage b/c he began to objectofy his wife. So, unless you want to be an older woman who cannot let go of porn, do not start. On the other hand, if you must, there is self pleasure with for ex. vibrators, etc. and you can have your fill of that since there is nothing wrong with it.

unknownuser

Peace all,
Samina, I can assure you that pretty much all single Muslims who hold to their duties are frustrated. It would be very weird if we were not frustrated by the wait. But really, it is not worth it to your spirit to indulge in something that obscene. Everything you experience leaves a mark on you, and porn is one of the worst since it's so easy to find and addictive to many people. There was an Oprah show not too long ago about a pastor who was addicted to internet porn even though he was married. It ended up almost ruining his marriage b/c he began to objectofy his wife. So, unless you want to be an older woman who cannot let go of porn, do not start. On the other hand, if you must, there is self pleasure with for ex. vibrators, etc. and you can have your fill of that since there is nothing wrong with it.

wow mate, not sure about slef plessure with a viberator lol

TheNabi

Peace

Yes, masturbation seems a better alternative in my opinion.

Joe

ichephren

Peace all,
Samina, I can assure you that pretty much all single Muslims who hold to their duties are frustrated. It would be very weird if we were not frustrated by the wait. But really, it is not worth it to your spirit to indulge in something that obscene. Everything you experience leaves a mark on you, and porn is one of the worst since it's so easy to find and addictive to many people. There was an Oprah show not too long ago about a pastor who was addicted to internet porn even though he was married. It ended up almost ruining his marriage b/c he began to objectofy his wife. So, unless you want to be an older woman who cannot let go of porn, do not start. On the other hand, if you must, there is self pleasure with for ex. vibrators, etc. and you can have your fill of that since there is nothing wrong with it.

wow mate, not sure about slef plessure with a viberator lol

LOL, the vibrator has been around for quite some time, first used as treatment for psychological ailments, including headaches...somehow I think a lot of women were lying their butts off about using it for headaches!

unknownuser

Ok mate

I guess now, my third option was a viberator, but not for me lol

cheers

sawtooth

Allow your body it's natural curiosities. As well, get to know your body so that when you DO go on to have intimate relations at whatever stage of life that is... you have a deep understanding of your body, your likes, your dislikes and hope your partner has the same. I can't say as I would suggest porn... just good imagination. No matter what it is you seek in a partner.. sexual endowment, a good ass, a mind, deep sincere eyes..... you an fantasise on it and get far more than you can out of cheap portn. Porn is someone else's fantasy, not yours

Relax and enjoy

TheNabi

Peace

Also if you're interested in sexuality read up on it. There are many books on the subject and watch some sex education videos.

Joe

unknownuser

Peace samina. I sympathise with you. I was a teenager once. Most of us go through exactly what you describe,you are not alone.
I believe nabi,ichephren and sawtooth gave you very good and relevant advice. Try not to feel guilty for having desire,just learn about yourself and your own limits. Respect your body and yourself,dont let people disrespect you or take advantage of you. Try to channel your energies into productive activities. As others said earlier,some activities can lead to addiction or harm. My sister is 16,i remind her sometimes how hard it can be to bring up a child.I do this so she may realise the consequence of certain behaviours.I also tell her that certain 'romantic' movie style notions of love are just fairytales and can lead to harm and heartache.
You dont need another person to fulfil your desires. Self pleasure is much safer and more reliable.Then you wont have to rely on having a partner or be tempted too much. Try to keep away from situations which are unproductive for your long and short term spiritual development and self-respect. Try to educate yourself morally and spiritually as much as you can,and use your conscience....A lot of times we know when something is wrong. If you make little mistakes dont be too hard on yourself,try to learn from mistakes.Things normally get easier as you get older,and get more used to them. Hope all goes well and take care sister.
Finally,try to be happy. D
peace all.

samina

thanks enquirer , sawtooth, ichephren, AhmedBahgat n all others for ur advice n suggestions
finally i just tell myself tht if i Love Allah i wont see any of these things on the net again
but trust me it is very difficult n quite a painful experience but i guess its all a part of the great test n the worst part is right now at this moment i dont know wether i will be able to restrain my self from not watchin porn
i tell myself whts a big deal i am not comitting adultery or something ,
n i cant even fulfil my little desires

abt vibraters or self satisfaction i dont think this wht i want i just want to see the real thing
i know the more i watch the more i want to watch n so on

i blame the people who r into this porn industry but i cant justify my act by blaming them , but it is really is havin a bad impact on todays generations even 7 yr old kid knows whts wht thanks to electronic media which is blessing as well as a curse

all this has really started playing on my mind now i have my exams coming up on april n i cant concentrate
i really dont know what to do cry

may Allah give me the strenght to control my desires , be merciful n forgive me for comitting this sin

neo

thanks enquirer , sawtooth, ichephren, AhmedBahgat n all others for ur advice n suggestions
finally i just tell myself tht if i Love Allah i wont see any of these things on the net again
but trust me it is very difficult n quite a painful experience but i guess its all a part of the great test n the worst part is right now at this moment i dont know wether i will be able to restrain my self from not watchin porn
i tell myself whts a big deal i am not comitting adultery or something ,
n i cant even fulfil my little desires

abt vibraters or self satisfaction i dont think this wht i want i just want to see the real thing
i know the more i watch the more i want to watch n so on

i blame the people who r into this porn industry but i cant justify my act by blaming them , but it is really is havin a bad impact on todays generations even 7 yr old kid knows whts wht thanks to electronic media which is blessing as well as a curse

all this has really started playing on my mind now i have my exams coming up on april n i cant concentrate
i really dont know what to do cry

may Allah give me the strenght to control my desires , be merciful n forgive me for comitting this sin

Spell words fully, please, the porn won't go anywhere. As for the subject of the post stop beating yourself up (pun not intended) over it; everyone gets urges and it's usual for people to follow up on them. Be thankful you're not a 24 year old newly wed already sick of your husband and seeking a "sidedish" meal to lighten up your days. Or that you're not blowing shit up in the name of 70 virgins. There are so many more worse things you can do other than pleasure yourself, it's not even worth considering.

Oh and pornography is not "corrupting" our youth; desensitised violence is.

phoenix1

peace Samina
You make a good point Neo.
I think you have to first think about what "porn" is. If it's any and everything that turns you on, then i don't think you can avoid it. You have to think about how far you want to go to seek pleasure. It's OK to look at porn i guess (which helps you in,uh, pleasuring yourself which is healthy for you). But if you sit infront of your computer screen for hours a day, and if all this starts altering your life (because you don't have time for anything or anyone else), then you are going too far.
And as Neo said, you can be doing far worse things than looking at porn. Just be sure you aren't doing so much of it that it's affecting your life. And if it's not, then just make sure you don't have hours and hours of free time. If you do, it means you don't really have a life. So find something to do.

Another thing, please don't get married to have sex. Religious people make this mistake because they don't believe in sex outside marriage. But remember that it's not the marriage ritual that's important, but the committment. If there is committment (am i spelling that right?), there is no need for a ritual. But if there is no committment, then a ritual cannot create it. Hope you get what i mean. You want to marry someone who you can spend the rest of your life with.

And another thing, you are proof that guys aren't the only one who indulge themselves in this 'sin.' so i thank you. )

I'm about the same age as you (16 2/3) and i was facing the same problem as you are. Now i've decided on my limits. I want to give it up, but i'm focused on other more important things so i don't really worry about it.
Also, all this that i've said doesn't mean that i think mankind will die out without porn. we don't need it. i know that. But sometimes you gotta have what you want.

naxus

Peace Samina

We all have go through that the best advice i can give you is to stay away from porn and the company of peoples who are into porn or adulterious behaviour.Remmember its better to be alone than to be in company of fools .More you will look for porn more you will indulge in it.Don,t give your self reasons that its necessary. Its better to take control of your life than to create reasons for weaknesses .

Peace

ayman

Peace Samina, all,

so now to the main point , i know watchin porn is wrong according to islamic values but how far can a adolcent control its desires , how much control can we have on ourselves when access to all this material has become so easy

pls give any advice or any suggestions AND ALSO SOME AYATS FROM HOLY QURAN by which it becomes little easier for us not watch all such materials

Thank you for your question about this serious social ill. It is unfortunate that none of the answers here really addressed your main request. The great reading certainly has many signs dealing with this problem.

To answer your question, let's start by understanding what the word "zina" means in the great reading.

Unless they come on it with four witnesses, if they do not come with the witnesses, then those, according to The God, are the liars.

From a logical analysis viewpoint, the only way that the statement in 2413 would always be true is if the requirement for four or more witnesses is built into the definition of "zina". Due to the sanctity of the home in the quran (see 2427-2 and the prohibition against spying (see 4912), "zina" for unmarried can only be pornography or public lewdness.

Pornography or public lewdness is a grave sin and a social ill that not only effects those who commit it but society as a whole. This is natural and even the US has strict laws restricting pornography/exhibitionism (for example to protect children from seeing such things) and severe penalties for those who violate those laws.

As per Chapter 24, there are two types of "zina"

"Zina" case 1 Pornography or public lewdness in the case of married and unmarried with a minimum of four witnesses witnessing the act. (Punishment 100 lashes + loss of some of the divorcee's rights in the case of married)

"Zina" case 2 Adultery in the case of married with no witnesses except the spouse (this counts as four witnesses as per 246) and the accused does not refute the accusation. (Punishment 100 lashes + loss of some of the divorcee's rights)

As a side note, the word "jalada" (lashing) comes from the word skin and implies that only the skin is to be touched (i.e. no internal injuries or bleeding can result from the punishment). Please look at research that addresses the root cause of psychological disorders such as exhibitionism (the disease associated with those who perform pornography) and ways to treat it. Look under behavior therapy of such inappropriate activities. You will see that experimental psychology findings suggest that corporal punishment/humiliation is one of the methods that can reduce this behavior. This method is called aversion therapy or negative treatment.

So in summary, "zina" is public lewdness. In other words, in today's world it is pornography. Here is what everyone is told what to do about it

And do not come near pornography/adultery for it is a gross sin and a bad way.

We are clearly told in no uncertain terms to not even come near pornography. You need to look in yourself to see what fundamentally causes you to come near pornography to watch it. The answer is that we all fantasize or fantasized about love and relationships at one point or another. Unfortunately, often those fantasies can take control of us and become exceeding in rebellion ("shaytan") and develop into lustful fantasies. The exceeding in rebellion works by "decorating" or making beautiful for us what is bad

And we assign to them linked companions so they decorate for them what is between their hands and what is behind them. And the saying is true on them in nations that passed before them from the fantasies and the humans that they are losers.

We counteract the exceeding in rebellion fantasy by devoting ourselves to serving The God, The Truth

1539-40. So with what You misguided me, I will decorate for them in the earth and I will misguide them all together, except your devoted servants.

We serve the Truth by controlling our fantasies and face reality. When we control our fantasies then they too can serve the truth. The original fantasy about love and a relationship is very beneficial if you control it and not let it control you and become exceeding in rebellion (shaytan). When you use the truth to control this exceeding in rebellion fantasy, you will realize that in truth you should feel sorry for people who perform pornography. They suffer greatly and most of them abuse drugs and many have been abused as children. They will not be able to experience intimate love as a chaste person would. This is why suicide rates in that industry are extremely high.

In truth, letting the exceeding in rebellion fantasy control you into watching pornography doesn't help you fulfill your original good fantasy of love and relationship. In fact, quite the contrary it is detrimental to it in many ways. For example, it may cause you to marry not for love but just for gratification and this, in turn, can take you on a bad path for the rest of your life. Indeed, as The God said even coming near pornography is a bad way.

So in summary, the problem is not easy access or the internet pop ups. The problem is controlling our fantasies. You asked a good question

"How much control can we have on ourselves when access to all this material has become so easy?"

There can be two answers

You have no control if you let the exceeding in rebellion fantasy have power over you and decorate for you.
You have control if you devote yourself to serving the Truth.

Keep this in mind next time before you go to bed at night ("3isha") and when you wake up at daybreak ("fajr"). It is not a coincidence that those times when our fantasy is most active are also given as the times for "salat" (learning connection) that prevents from gross sins (2945).

I hope this helps.

Peace,

Ayman