Marriage ???

[wildguest1956]

What is exactly marriage?
Does marriage needs a ceremony? How many witnesses?
Can we meet privately someone of the other sex without being married?
When we meet someone attractive, should we marry him/her immediately, or should we wait some time to know each other better?
Is ?religious? marriage sufficient, or is secular marriage recommended too?
Can we marry someone without the agreement of his parents?
Can the parents impose a partner to their daughter/son ?
Can we get married only for fun, without the intent of founding a household ?

Responses based on the Quran are expected

Thanks

[wildguest1956]

Here is the definition of marriage from an anthropologist point of view. I think it fits with the quranic concept of marriage.
Any opinion welcomed.

Our mating behavior differs from our ape relatives in two important ways. The first is our flexibility. Our cultures can be monogamous, polygamous, or polyandrous. They can either permit or strongly proscribe promiscuity. The second difference between us and apes is marriage. All human societies that have ever been described recognize marriage, although the form of marriage may differ from our Western view of the institution.

Anthropologists disagree about the universals in marriage, but the following characteristics are typically present
? Marriage is socially recognized. That is, the members of a village, tribe, or state recognize the union.
? Marriage has the expectation of generating offspring.
? Marriage is associated with kinship. While kinship ties can happen outside of marriage, marriage always involves the right of the offspring to be socially recognized as the kin of the parents and of the parents? kin.
? Marriage has relative permanence. The marital state is entered into for a long, as opposed to a short, time period (i.e., a brief sexual encounter, a night, a week, or a breeding season). The length of the time period is, of course, variable.
? Marriage involves some degree of sexual exclusivity. The partners in a marriage have the right to have sex with each other. Also one or both partners are often socially admonished not to have sex with certain others. The degree of sexual exclusivity is variable across cultures.
? Marriage involves the transfer of property and/or title. Again, exactly what is transferred and the degree to which it is transferred varies, but most societies that have personal property recognize that it can be bestowed on offspring.

Affective bonding is a reason for marriage. Love and romance may be the most variable characteristic of marriage. Many cultures condone arranged marriages between people who may have never even met. Typically, such marriages are entered for the6Polygamy is the generic term for multiple mates. In polygyny, one male has more than one female mate, purpose of establishing kinship and/or property ties. However, every culture either overtly recognizes romance as a legitimate reason for marriage or has myths or stories about couples in love who want to enter the state of marriage and consider it tragic if they cannot fulfill their desires.

While there are legitimate reasons to disagree with this list or to argue that other factors should be added to it, it is quite obvious that gorillas, chimps, and bonobos do not have the institution of marriage as we humans do. Humans can and do mate without marriage and can even have children, the recognition of kinship, and the transference of property outside of the institution. But virtually every human culture recognizes a special union between one (or more) male(s) and one (or more) female(s) that gives them the right to have sex, bear children, etc.

http//psych.colorado.edu/hgss/hgsschapters/HGSS_Chapter15.pdf

[zenje]

Peace JM,

Some quick answers, without references. -[

Does marriage needs a ceremony? No.

How many witnesses? One.

Can we meet privately someone of the other sex without being married? Meet?.. yes. Openly better than secretly.

When we meet someone attractive, should we marry him/her immediately, or should we wait some time to know each other better? I wouldn't recommend immediately. What's inside is what you'll live with, which has little to do with what's outside.

Is ?religious? marriage sufficient, or is secular marriage recommended too? While it may not be forbidden, it's definitely not recommended.

Can we marry someone without the agreement of his parents? Yes. But you'd rather not, as you would need them even after you're married.

Can the parents impose a partner to their daughter/son ? No. There's no imposing in anything.

Can we get married only for fun, without the intent of founding a household ? For fun?...Bro, I don't think you want to do that, believe me. It's a serious thing, which you will quickly realize.

Peace.

[Alen]

As salamu alaykum.
Respectfully.

Zenje is right.
Once you find a person that believes as you do, then all the other aspects of the partner's life fall into place.
Remember the Qur'an? You love something and it turns out to be evil for you, you hate something and it turns out to be good for you.

Some men love a woman who has lots of make up on her gface, tight clothes and a beautiful smile. But then learns that she smokes, disrespects her family, maybe doesn't wanna have kids.
Some men don't like women who are fat. But such women may be strong in faith. They may be firm and hav patience for ten people. Fat can be removed, trust me.

As salamu alaykum.

[Abuja]

My take on marriage is that it is meant for two people(man and women) who love each other. You need to know the person before you get married as Zenja said it whats inside is what counts. If you marry someone that believes totally different from you then your life will more than likely be a living hell. Second you should never marry someone because you lust after there body that is wrong and not what maggiage was even intended for.

Sincerely, Abuja/Larry