My Story - part 2.
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Salam.
I have already told you my story, how i wasn't practising Muslim at fist, then i became practising sunni, then i learned about The Quran more and more and finally i am Quran Alone Muslim.
I can tell you that soon i'll be 29 years old, i am still not married, i don't have a job, when i get a job, which is harder then you think, i lose it because that's the law in this country, i am not married because women here prefer fornication and i'm sooooo against that, i don't have a car because i don't have enough money, i can't get my own apartment because i don't have a job and i have to perform all my religious duties in complete secrecy because if my mother knew i way praying, fasting, reading The Quran and giving charity, i'd be thrown in the street within a minute.
Now, i'd like to ask you some questions what am i doing here? Why was i created, if i can't pray openly and in peace? Why can't i perform all religious duties normally like i'm suppose to? Why can't i get married? Why can't i cross the border? Why was i created when i cannot do so many things? What is my purpose? What is the purpose of my life here?
People around me die and they have jobs, families, kids and thousands of responsibilities and duties. Why do they die? Why did my friend die, when he had an ex-wife and two kids for whom he had to pay alimony and a five-year old child to take care of?
Why did my cousin die, when he had a good job, permanent job, serious girlfriend and why did my niece's husband died after only couple of years of marriage?Why can't i die, since i have no purpose here?
I don't work (NOT BY CHOICE!), i don't have a wife and kids, i got nothing that connects me to Slovenia, this world and after my death, there will be no evidence that i existed, so i ask again what is the purpose of my existance, if any?The God Most Powerful knows.
The only thing standing between wishing for death and wishing for good health is the fact that i have found my soulmate but why cannot i be with her?The God Most Merciful knows.
Peace.
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Salam brother Alen,
Why can't i die, since i have no purpose here?
I don't work (NOT BY CHOICE!), i don't have a wife and kids, i got nothing that connects me to Slovenia, this world and after my death, there will be no evidence that i existed, so i ask again what is the purpose of my existance, if any?5156 I did not create the Jinn and the humans except to serve Me.
2155 And We will test you with some fear and hunger, and a shortage in money and lives and fruits. And give good news to those who are patient.
The God Most Powerful knows.
The only thing standing between wishing for death and wishing for good health is the fact that i have found my soulmate but why cannot i be with her?2574 And those who Say "Our Lord, grant us from our mates and our progeny what will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us role models the righteous."
2575 These will be rewarded with a dwelling for what they have been patient for, and they will find in it a greeting and peace. -
Salam brother Alen,5156 I did not create the Jinn and the humans except to serve Me.
2155 And We will test you with some fear and hunger, and a shortage in money and lives and fruits. And give good news to those who are patient.
2574 And those who Say "Our Lord, grant us from our mates and our progeny what will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us role models the righteous."
2575 These will be rewarded with a dwelling for what they have been patient for, and they will find in it a greeting and peace.Salam.
I agree with all this and i know it, yes, thank you for remind me, brother. But here comes another problem.
My mother forbids me to pray, fast, read The Quran and she says if she sees me doing all that, i'll be living outdoors.
Yes, The God created me to serve Him but how can i do that, when i'm oppressed in the very apartment i live and banned from the States? I wanna go there and be free but can't go and can't stay.Peace.
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PEACE
SORRY MY BROTHER TO BE QUITE BLUNT....
IF you beleive in Quran Alone and God Alone why are you not following the prophet Abraham?
When his father worshipped idols he stood up to him and broke them right?
why are allowing your mother to worship idols and you submissively sit back say nothing and allow her to tell you to not fast and pray and go and do it in secret?
you can talk the talk but can yu walk the walk?
The Quran says sometimes misforutnes come upon from based on the consequneces of your actions? or perhaps lack of action?
if your almost 29 you should be man and should follow the prophet abraham's example?
its not liek your 15 living with mom and dad and a minor?
your old enough to know better you have a copy of the quran you know what abraham did? if your a muslim you supposed to follow his example?
do you honestly feel you are?
Amanda
ps excuse my bluntness i can not take anymore of this self pity victim talk
for Gods sake trust in the Lord and His revelations what they sayif your not gonna follow the quran to fix your issue i dont want to hear about your whining please im getting headache brother please get it together or stop complaingin if your not gonna do anything about it
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PEACE
SORRY MY BROTHER TO BE QUITE BLUNT....
IF you beleive in Quran Alone and God Alone why are you not following the prophet Abraham?
When his father worshipped idols he stood up to him and broke them right?
why are allowing your mother to worship idols and you submissively sit back say nothing and allow her to tell you to not fast and pray and go and do it in secret?
you can talk the talk but can yu walk the walk?
The Quran says sometimes misforutnes come upon from based on the consequneces of your actions? or perhaps lack of action?
if your almost 29 you should be man and should follow the prophet abraham's example?
its not liek your 15 living with mom and dad and a minor?
your old enough to know better you have a copy of the quran you know what abraham did? if your a muslim you supposed to follow his example?
do you honestly feel you are?
Amanda
ps excuse my bluntness i can not take anymore of this self pity victim talk
for Gods sake trust in the Lord and His revelations what they say
if your not gonna follow the quran to fix your issue i dont want to hear about your whining please im getting headache brother please get it together or stop complaingin if your not gonna do anything about itSalam.
I'm following Abraham and yes, i will destroy my mother's idols, her books and photos from that guy she asks help from. God willing but slowly, when she doesn't expect it. She thinks now that because she sacrifized a goat for me last year, that i will be following her way. She's wrong, as soon as she pays the debt, i will destroy her books and pictures of that Croat man she asks for help.
I have the right to say whatever i want and others can agree or disagree, i don't care. Thank you for reminding me.
Peace.
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Are you sure this is not a case of ?wants? vs. ?needs? bro?
You want a,b,c,d,e, etc but what you need is a job and independence, so any job that can make you independent should do. If Wikipedia is anything to go by, Slovenia seems to be a well to do country, to paraphrase jankren's words, isn?t there a single job that you can do? Other than the film industry, what other avenues have you tried?
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I wonder if there is not even a single lowly job available in Slovenia bro Alen? I hope you are not jobless because you are picky and unwilling to do hard labor jobs bro. Sometimes we can not even start with zero and we have to begin from minus.
Salam.
There are jobs in Slovenia but they do not last and because of that, a person can't save money, you know? It's hard to get a job, sometimes it's easy, but even if you get a job, it will not last more then 6 months, sometimes it lasts a year but you can't save anything even if you fast one year.
I'm not picky, on the contrary, i worked in a construction business for five months and then got fired because the employer did not want to pay me more and i wasn't even asking for more money, i was happy with $2 USD an hour. But he said he can't pay me no longer and he also can't pay me more, so he fired me.
I worked in the factory where they make water heaters and after five motnhs got fired. Then a year passed they re-hire me and after three months fired me.Let me explain if the company hires you permanently, then you can get a big loan at the bank. If you work just for a few months or even few years, no bank will give you any loan, because if you don't have an income, how will you pay, understand now?
Company is afraid that you will get a loan, if they give you permanent job, if they hire you "for good". It's not in company's interest that you get a loan, because that means that you won't be the only one taking a loan, everyone in the company will get one and that would bring chaos to all banks in the country.
I worked as a security guard and they gave me a contract for one year and now they're holding me back by not giving me work, because they know that even with year's contract you may be able to get a small loan, like $5000 USD and they know this. If i don't do work, they don't pay me, if i don't have an income i can't get a loan, regardless of the contract, bcause when the bank sees that you have no income, they will assume something shady is going on, they will think you got hired just to get a loan and then you might be fired and they'll have to chase you through courts. That's not in their interests.
Sikes said
Are you sure this is not a case of ?wants? vs. ?needs? bro?
You want a,b,c,d,e, etc but what you need is a job and independence, so any job that can make you independent should do. If Wikipedia is anything to go by, Slovenia seems to be a well to do country, to paraphrase jankren's words, isn?t there a single job that you can do? Other than the film industry, what other avenues have you tried?Salam.
I would accept any, literally, any job but can't because they have to give you a contract and no one wants to pay huge taxes if they hire you even for three months or six or evena year. They also have to pay dental, lunch expenses, transprtation and medical exams and no company wants to deal with that, they want to hire youbut to avoid what i just mentioned, they hire you just for three days, without polonging the contract so in a way, they pay you less, becaseu they hire you for suhc a short term and because it's short, they don't have to worry about you getting a loan or a better job because you won't have time, you'll work really hard, knowing how short 90 days are.
Needless to say, you will not save a penny.
Peace.
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Peace Bro Alen
I know finding jobs are extremely hard in certain areas of the world. but you can keep yourself busy even with volunteer work or startin a community project. Even if it gives you zero money, it could lead to important people taking notice in you and helping you find a job. Meanwhile you'll have something to keep you busy and be productive to society.
As for your mother, sorry sis amanda - but Prophet Abraham did not force his father into submission. He destroyed the idols but only to prove a point. I think the best way for you, bro Alen is not to be so forceful and mean-spirited to your mom. Advise her as PRophet Abraham advised his father. Talk to her and hopefully she'll understand. But if she doesn't leave her in peace.
I don't know why she would kick you out if she saw you praying and fasting if she is muslim. All muslims do those things it's not only quran aloners... Does she just not like you to be religious?
Anyways keep us posted and God Willing this new year will be filled with good improvement and achievement in your life insha-Allah
Salam brother -
Salam.
You're right when it comes to volunteer work, i'm always for it and i'm trying my best but it's a little harder getting a job when in my community. See, i really, really don't wannabad mouth anyone, especially the Muslim community here, but a while ago, i wanted to direct a small play at the local theatre and i asked a few of my friends and they immediately informed they parents about it who called my parents and this is what my mother told me"Why did you threaten and bother them?"
See, i asked my friends to work together, i asked, but the message somehow got distorted and it came back to me in a sentence that reads, why did you bother them?I can't start any project, if i don't have any money. I wanted to start a cleaning service business but i would have to stop the welfare and in order to do that (start your own business) you have to apply and register and that alone costs you $10.000. That means that i first have to put $10.000 on my account, go to register office, open my business, in this case, as a cleaning service, find workers and find the job.
Now, watch this even if i don't find work, if i don't find anything to clean, i still have to pay $500 or $600 every single month.
You have to pay it because now that you own a business, the government doesn't care if it's not working for you, the title costs, title being Cleaning Service.My mother started asking help from this Croat citizen a few years ago. She buys books from him, tapes, gold necklaces and carries his photo in her purse. She believes that this heals.
This man makes $5000 USD in one day. Women bring him flowers and so when he comes to our country, he rents a place and opens a small flower shop (NOT REGISTERED!!!!!) and then women come, buy flowers, bring it to him, he tells his bodyguards to carry the flowers back to the shop and he sells them again and again and again and so on.
That's how he makes business.
He operates only in small towns where the police doesn't see such things happening and no one knows when he comesbecause only people who visit him know and they're very hush-hush about him, they whisper when they talk about him.
My mother owns several books from this man and she has placed a few pictures of him on the walls here.
First time she brought all this stuff in, i threw it in the garbage and she went to the garbage cans and brought it back. I spent a night outdoors and realized i have to leave this country a.s.ap.
I also read in The Quran that when The God Almighty, Most Powerful seals someone's heart, that's it, no human can unseal it, correct? If The God Most Merciful let's her go astray, who am i to bring her back?I did destroy one of her books yesterday and threw it out because i figured, she doesn't count them, right, so she won't notice, if one book is missing and i will be destroying those books, God willing, one by one until i move out, God willing.
When she sees what i did, i'll be long gone, God willing.
That's why i wanna make this movie, so i can get money to get out of Slovenia, not just out of apartment.
Abraham is a fine example and yes, he destryoed those idols to prove a point, but Abraham was not deportedfrom the States and Abraham's relatives didn't hate him, like mine hate me.She doesn't know about the branches in Islam, the sunnis, the shia, wahabis and so on. She doesn't even know that she is a sunni, she says she's a Bosnian Muslim. Bosnian Muslims are unaware of the branches, they think that Muslims who don't follow The Quran are just bad Muslims and they say that non-muslims are also believers but in "their own religion". Don't let me get started on that isse,, because i could write a book on it.
My mother think i'm in a cult. She believes i'm amember of Al-Qaeda. She also believes that i'm possessed by jinn or the devil and that my prayers are unislamic or whatever. Because of that, she says that all my actions are bad, that my good deeds will not be accepted so therefore i shouldn't even do any good deeds or even religious duties, because as she says it, you're a lost case, why would you pray or fast?
Of course, she went one step further, she forbids me to pray, fast, to give charity (when i work), she even threw The Quran out.
That's why i believ that she might be possessed and astray, i think she is out of Islam, sadly, yes, but what can i do? Why can i, human, do about it? Abraham could not help his own dad, Lot also could not help his wife, right?
If i was able to bring my mother back to Islam, it would be logical to say, that i would avoid being deported an banned from the States, right?Yes, i think that's the case here, BOOST she doesn't want me to be religious, to be openly Muslim. She's from the communist regime so she's embarrased of being a Muslim. May The God Almighty forgive her.
May The God Almighty, The Most Powerful, The Most Merciful helps us all an guides us all on the Straight Path and rewards us with Paradise.
P.S.Right now, the only thing that keeps me from going to London and directing a movie there, is $5000 USD, that's why i'm gonna first try to get a job here, God willing or direct a small documentary, God willing, and see what happens.
Peace.
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Salam.
I think i now know why i have been deported and banned from the States. I found a similar story in The Quran
1860 And Moses said to his youth "I will not stop until I reach the junction of the two seas, or I spend a lifetime trying." (I will not stop until i reach the United States of America or i spend a lifetime trying.)
1861 But when they did reach the junction between, they forgot their fish, and it was able to make its way back to the sea in a stream. (But when i reached USA, i forgot entry visa and i was able to return home.)
1862 And when they had passed further on, he said to his youth "Bring us our lunch; we have found much fatigue in this journey of ours." (But when i was at home, i said"I'm tired of the journey."
1863 He said "Do you remember when we rested upon the rock? I forgot the fish, and it was the devil that made me forget to remember it. It made its way back to the sea amazingly!" (Devil the rejected must have made me forget the entry visa.)
1864 He said "That is what we have been seeking!" So they went back retracing their steps. (Is that what i'm looking for? What am i looking for? What am i suppose to find? Do i really have to retrace my steps too? What did i really forget, if not visa?)
1865 So they came upon a servant of Ours whom We had given him mercy from Us and We taught him knowledge from Us. (Is this my future? Am i waiting for something or perhaps someone? A soulmate? Is that why i have been returned?)
1866 Moses said to him "Can I follow you so that you will teach me from the guidance you have been taught?"1867 He said "You will not be able to have patience with me."
1868 "And how can you be patient about that which you have not been given any news?"
1869 He said "You will find me, God willing, to be patient. And I will not disobey any command of yours."
1870 He said "If you follow me, then do not ask about anything until I relate it to you."
1871 So they ventured forth until they rode in a boat and he made a hole in it. He said "Did you make a hole in it to drown its people? You have done something dreadful!"
1872 He said "Did I not tell you that you will not be able to have patience with me?"
1873 He said "Forgive me for what I forgot, and do not be hard upon my request with you."
1874 So they ventured forth until they came upon a youth, and he killed him. He said "Have you killed an innocent person without justice? You have truly come with something awful!"
1875 He said "Did I not tell you that you will not be able to have patience with me?"
1876 He said "If I ask you about anything after this, then do not keep me in your company. You will then have a reason over me."
1877 So they ventured forth until they came to the people of a town. They requested food from its people but they refused to host them. Then they found a wall which was close to collapsing, so he built it. He said "If you wished, you could have asked a wage for it!"
1878 He said "For this, we will now part ways. I will inform you of the meanings of those things that you could not have patience over."
1879 "As for the boat, it belonged to some poor people who were working the sea, so I wanted to damage it as there was a king coming who takes every boat by force."
1880 "And as for the youth, his parents were believers, so we feared that he would oppress them by his transgression and disbelief."
1881 "So we wanted their Lord to replace for them with one who is better than him in purity and closer to mercy."
1882 "And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphaned boys in the city, and underneath it was a treasure for them, and their father was a good man, so your Lord wanted that they would reach their maturity and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And none of what I did was of my own accord. That is the meaning of what you could not have patience for."
As i can see, i haven't compared all the events from my life with the story from The Quran, meaning, i'm still in the middle, as you can see, i'm at the number 5 out of 23.
It appears that i just have to be very patient.
Very, very patient.Peace.
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Peace
Alen, honestly I think you have some sort of wierd fetish with the U.S. and would fear an individual such as yourself coming to the U.S. I'm patriotic, but you seem more patriotic than myself. It may be a good thing, your continual deportation.
I think the interpretation you have is awfully specific, but to each his/her own of course.
Joe
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Peace Alen, honestly I think you have some sort of wierd fetish with the U.S. and would fear an individual such as yourself coming to the U.S. I'm patriotic, but you seem more patriotic than myself. It may be a good thing, your continual deportation.
I think the interpretation you have is awfully specific, but to each his/her own of course. JoeSalam.
Weird fetish?
Explain please.I only fear The God Almighty.
Why do you think it is good that i remain out of USA, that i'm banned, how does this help me? I mean, i was planning to go to Hollywood since 1991, i was praying, hoping, planning, saving money, learning the language, writing and now you say that the ban is good for me?????
How so?
Peace.
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Peace
Weird fetish?
Explain please.It seems to me that in some of your posts, I'll guess maybe 10-20%, you mention this desire of yours to get to the U.S. and to make it in Hollywood. It's in my opinion like a child who constantly mentions something they're overly passionate about until their guardian takes note and does something about it. It worries me because you are also talking about how you will need funding for these projects of yours and for housing, et cetera which is similar to the technique of the child exploiting the parent. I just think you need to take it easy.
Joe
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peace Alen,
You aren't waiting to get into the US, are you?
Seriously, you DO NOT need to come here to make movies! the three best movies in the world were made in New Zealand! If you want the Hollywood crowd to watch your movies, go to the UK. They'll probably let you in there.
You need to get over your disappointment of not making it to Hollywood, and think of something else. Praying and waiting will not help you in any way. -
peace Alen,You aren't waiting to get into the US, are you?
Seriously, you DO NOT need to come here to make movies! the three best movies in the world were made in New Zealand! If you want the Hollywood crowd to watch your movies, go to the UK. They'll probably let you in there.You need to get over your disappointment of not making it to Hollywood, and think of something else. Praying and waiting will not help you in any way.Salam.
No, i'm not waiting, i'm trying, i'm working on getting back but the disappointment comes from the slow moving.
It's not that i'm obssessed or addicted to Hollywood or that i want the crows from there to watch me make movies and .... you know, none of that is relevant.
It's just that after all this time, all my plans are destroyed with one single move. One single man destroyed what i've been building for more then a decade and because of one stupid sentence i have to suffer like some criminal.
I don't know, maybe you're right, maybe i should go to UK and start working there, maybe, i don't know. I do know this it's very hard to turn to another direction after you traveled so long into one direction.
I guess i'll have to be very patient.
The reason why i wanted Hollywood so much and still do, is this i rely on The God Almighty an dtherefore i know i can write such scripts and direct such movies where i don't have to attract audience with nudity or bad language or stuf similar to that.
Because of that, i think that these scripts that i wrote, would bring large audience to the movies, if only i was there, because i've been comparing movies made in LA for some time now, years and years and they're all quite similar, some even are made of other movies, a mixture of several other movies, like Sphere, The Runnin Man, Terminator 2, Spiderman, Matrix, .....
Because of that, i thought that because i'm from another country, i may have fresh ideas, God knows Best.
My plan was to arrive in LA, find investors, start with small movies and finally when i would get enough money, i'd produce my own movies, as a producer i'd be payed more because i'd also have my own studio, therefore, the studio (me) would get 70% of the movie's profit.
With this 70% of the money that makes it back, i can be a better Muslim, i don't wanna brag what i would do, but my goal is to reach Paradise, so you can imagine what i would do with it.Maybe i should go to UK and start there until The God finds a way for me to enter USA, again. I just don't know why i was prevented to do good in the States, when people who intend evil, are allowed.
I guess we can see that The Quran predicted this bad guys will be able to do everything they want and the good guys will have to be patient.Good point, Phoenix1, thanks.
Peace.
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PEace Bro Alen
Definitely take baby steps so you don't crash and burn. Start making short films now. take it slow, perfect your skill. try doing it in Slovenia until you can get to somewhere else. baby steps are always the way. When you get to Hollywood, they'll want to see your past work. If you have none, they won't take you serious at all. You know how many people write scripts and hope to get famous in hollywood? too many to count. the only way to distinguish yourself from the crowd is to have films already made. finished products already piled up in a neat fashion to show the genre you work best in and your capabilities. Invest in a video cam and get working.
But in the meantime, i really do strongly suggest you get involved in some non-proft orgs or start your own community project. the best way to find a job in a land of scarce resources and few jobs is to network. the best way to network is to get out there and show the world that you're a hard worker. eventually you'll meet someone who knows someone who's searching for reliable help in his/her business.
God Bless
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Salam.
I guess you're right, BOOST, i guess a person must at one point put on the scale what is important and what isn't.
I always wanted to direct a small play and a parody here and then move on the bigger things. God willing.I've already heard that i can also make it in London as much as in Hollywood.
I just wanted to succeed in Los Angeles because USA has a bigger market, i mean, USA alone has 3000 cinemas, can you imagine how many screens is that?Anyway, small steps + patience = goal (goal=Paradise). God willing.
Peace.
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Peace to all,
What was the one sentence you said that caused you to not be allowed entry into USA. I really dont understand how one person and one sentence got you kicked out of USA, what is the rest of the story, something just doesnt sound right about why you were kicked, could you please explain a little more brother Alen.
Kurt