Relationships
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Peace lilyfleur
Additionally, I asked if any of you are aware of any Islamic sayings, or better yet, anything in the Koran where God tells us to withhold the judgment of our brothers and sisters.
When Gods talks about judging, he generally says that we should judge according to the book and equitably...and i don't think nail polish is mentioned in any sura It's more about judging between people that come to you with a problem to resolve.
If you want to check for yourself, why don't you use the browser on our home page, under quick links
lk
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Another personal example is the case of my sister who met a man she liked and to satisfy my parents' demands and her understanding of Islam she said they could not sleep together unless they were married.
Im wondering why does boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has to involve sleeping together? In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married. I believe people should indeed date for quite a long time first in order to get to know each other before committing to get married but why does it have to involve sex?
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Raz
Another personal example is the case of my sister who met a man she liked and to satisfy my parents' demands and her understanding of Islam she said they could not sleep together unless they were married. So now after 7 years of marriage her husband leaves and says he was never happy after the first year but stayed with her all this time because he and she both valued the sanctity of marriage. Had they simply been together as boyfriend-girlfriend for a year or so they (he) would've realized that they weren't all that compatible after all. Now there's a s*** load of legal crap to sort through.
Well she is lucky she even get that leniancy, noway in any lifetime would my parents accept this.
jankren
Im wondering why does boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has to involve sleeping together? In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married. I believe people should indeed date for quite a long time first in order to get to know each other before committing to get married but why does it have to involve sex?
I don't believe they have to, but people have desires so who else are they going to do it with? people aren't patient, they don't want to wait I think it's just an excuse to get it.
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"In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married." Jankren, that is so romantic! And so powerful. Would you say that this in a very common practice in Indonesia, or have you just heard of a few people living this way? Sex can really ruin a lot between two people. I hope for a relationship someday that is based on everything that really matters (aka pleasing God). Sex makes people crazy because they do it to fulfill these really lowly desires. "It's a mystery", right? I mean it should be a spiritual experience, otherwise it's just yuk.
And Tanveer, I am really sorry I misread your post. I was feeling especially defensive that day (my first day back on free-minds for @ 1 1/2 yrs). So, so, so sorry. Peace, peace, peace.
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"In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married." Jankren, that is so romantic! And so powerful. Would you say that this in a very common practice in Indonesia, or have you just heard of a few people living this way?
I suppose you have never been to Asia and experience the culture of the societies there, have you? What I said is true, this is why when the first time I came to USA I was kind of shocked of how 'sexual' the society in the country was. However, I also admit that more and more of our young people today have begun to embrace western culture and follow similar lifestyle due to media exposure especially in metropolitan cities.
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Peace my friend, 0
LoL your post is quite funny, well it made me laugh
lol, I am glad for that.
To you sex outside marriage isn?t detrimental, but that?s with your human logic, I believe it can be detrimental.
I believe it is a rule that is concrete.
Where did you go to come to that answer, is the answer something you concluded after giving thought to different variables? Unfourtanately, or fourtanately, while here on Earth I have my human logic, and if something does not feel right and/or make sense then I dont see a reason of going through with that choice.
Having babies is a blessing from God, you get pleasure out of sex also. You get pleasure out of a lot of other things also. Besides how is it turning your back away from God?s gifts? It?s rather using God?s gift appropriately and wisely. Not for the sack of your desires and wants.
I mean it is to turn your back on God's gifts when you deny yourself something that is heaven sent, I am not saying go out and be promiscuos or to do something that will ultimately bring detriment to you, what I am saying is for myself, in a relationship, I don't like to try and control the experience so much, but rather allow it to grow at its own rate, and I feel, for myself, that saying "Ok, lets have sex once we get married" is rather planning something that doesn't need to be planned, I'd rather let it occour naturally at its own pace, so maybe the first day I meet some one (lol, I know what your think'n!) or maybe seven years later, my main point is that I feel sex is naturally the outcome of a relationship (not any relationship again, lol, i know your thoughts ) and more than just the reason for it.
What?s the purpose of life, In your perspective?
Thats a humongous question! I honestly cant say, but what I feel a noble purpouse is is to pursue and allow that which brings you closer to God, that which brings soul growth. How about yourself, what do you feel the purpouse of life is?
People trust people doesn?t mean they won't do injustice.
I totally agree, but what I am saying is that when you have sex there is no way around not trusting the person your having sex with. Just as our relationship with God requires trust, so do all other relationships. If you do not trust a person, then why have sex with them?
I believe God tells us to stay away from some acts not ?someone?. And anyway you can look at what someone says and reason with it, and you follow the best of it.
But how do we hear God, if we hear God when we read the Quran then is it not through us that God speaks, for is it not us reading the quran? I agree that what ever advice we recieve we should weigh it with our best judgement.
Your heart uha yeh your heart desires and wants a lot.. you should follow it but take your brain with you. if your heart hates someone so much that would make you want to kill them would you? or would you use your brain and say that wouldn't be right?
No, I agree, the heart and mind make a great couple I am for the marriage of the heart and mind. I think Intuition, Intelligence and Instinct should work hand in hand, I am also in suppourt of their marriage.
What is islam?
In regards to my last answer, defining Islam as a peaceful state, I change that. To me, at this moment, surrender (submit) is a definition that makes alot of sense, and what I mean by surrender is putting down the shield (or call it a mask) that we carry and cover our selves with and allow whats within ourselves to be revealed, to be who we are.
Do you believe following the Quran is part of islam?
No, I do not believe that.
If not why not?
The quran is to me a messenger, whats important is the message and not the messenger, just like when you download music, the importance is not the web site you downloaded it from but the mp3 its self.
Following the Quran can be a part of Islam to some and to others just the opposite, the effect(s) it is promoting/amplifying in those individuals following it should be looked at, for me it was beneficial to a certain point, just like everyone needs a hand in standing on their own two, so it helped me grow in my relationship to God. And so for a certain stage it was helpful, but now I feel it would be to confining to follow it.
also if so then if it doesn?t promote fornication could it mean it isn?t as good as you think it is?
NEVER!! LOL To me, I would weigh love as the greatest factor in a relationship, not whether or not I am married. I think marriage has its place, but it is not more important than love.
Just because you are in a peaceful state it doesn?t mean it is good. People are in a peaceful state when they drink alcohol does that mean its good and you should gain pleasure from drinking it? I beleive that state is rather weak, than peaceful.
I agree.
why would you or anyone ever ever get married if you see no benefit in it?
I didn't say I see no benefit in marriage, however, I do believe that sex does not have to be regulated by marriage.
You marry a person for numerous reasons, love is one and you wouldn?t want to share pleasure of sex with others that you don?t love in my opinion because that just selfishness and just following your desires and being a submitter to that.
I never promoted that.
Why would Quran mention or even promote marriage if it's SOOOOO bad?
You have to consider any scripture, and who is it for? Do you give medicine to the sick or the healthy? Do you give guidance to those with guidance or those without guidance? Its written in the 'language' of the people it was revealed to, that is, it is written in terms that they can understand, its just like when you talk with a child, you would not converse in the same manner that you do when you talk with an adult. So it is written and including of concepts that the 'common people' are familiar with, but refining those concepts.
What's so bad about marriage?
nothing lol. Its a choice for each to make. I think its 'bad' when its forced on someone.
Do you think marriage is just saying I do and signing paper?
I dont, do you.
off course you choose freely, it doesn?t mean you don?t receive the consequences, you do in this life or in the hereafter.
I agree. Every choice has a consequence.
Tell me how does having sex with people make your life blossom?
lol, well you see... My words were taken out of context, I am saying if you choose to participate in activities that bring a beneficial growth to your being then your life will blossom. Sex with someone you care would make my life blossom.
Taking a body and then avoiding all experiences of earth life?? lol guess what!? there is a billion things to experience I bet you haven't even experience half.
lol, I am misunderstood maaan. I didn't say that, but consider that while here on earth there are certain responsibilities that a body entails, such as proper rest, a comfortable environment, consumption of food and using touch; it does not have to be sexual, it can be holding a hand, hugging a person, painting a smile (!???), but touch is our most developed ability, consider that for the first nine months in the womb we interact with the world through our feeling body, the water in the womb carasses our epidermis.
And pleasure doesn?t start and halt on sex.
I agree.
And the guidance lets us blossom in pleasure in the most just and appropriate ways )
I agree. But appropriate to each person, because thats subjective.
peace,
Khalil -
Peace Majidah,
Though in your own words, can you tell me why you believe sex outside of marriage to be different than sex in side of marriage?
I think the circumstances under which the marriage occoured and continues to exist will be the primary cause of the differences between sex outside of marriage and sex inside of marriage. I am not saying that either is better and/or lesser.
What i am saying is that I think that having love for eachother and having sex is healthier than having no love for eachother and having sex inside of marriage. I will mke it clear that I am not against marriage, however I do feel that if we are to judge a relationship, the factor of greatest importance would be the love felt and the love shared, not the marriage, that love experience you take with you when you leave earth, the marriage you dont.
Sex imo is just another method of expression, but a powerful one albeit. I think a complete relationship would involve expression (which is sharing) of thoughts, of feelings and of the physical (not neccesarily sex, but some aspect of connecting on the physical; a kiss, a hug, a handshake, and sex if you choose). But those three aspects, so that you connect with the mind, with the heart and with the body, and you can do that within or without wed lock.
peace,
Khalil -
Peace Sis,
Well I guess it's more that the high risk of having illness is when u change partner too often, and if you are unmarried it's likely to happen more often.
I would like to share this, it is interesting and humourous and about syphillis. it may be of some interest to you in regards to STDs. I've highlighted and underlined certain parts for easy readability.
"Byron, a nutritional client and friend, got a call from the health department one day last year. They told him that a woman with who he had had an intense sexual relationship for three months was in second stage syphilis.. he called me immediately, horrified
"Byron" I said, "in order for syphilis to flourish in your body, you would have to have acute toxicity in your nervous system. You have been on a raw diet for years, so you're clean enough of toxins. Go down to the clinic and have the test, but i suggest you do not take medication. It is meant to poison the virus but viruses are not alive and cannot be poisoned.. The medication poisons millions of healthy cells and causes the body to stop manufacturing detoxifying virus."
"But Aajonous, this is syphilis," Byron shouted.
"Go get the test done and then you will know."
About a half hour later, Byron called again. He was at the clinic.
"Everyone here is panicked because I refused the medication. They say that no one is immune to syphilis and that it could already be in my brain because the woman is in advanced second stage. Aajonous, I'm going to take the medication. What should I do to counteract the side effects?"
"The medication is a poison. Just buy billions of cell caskets and kiss your energy and sexuality good-bye, because they will diminish for years to come-pardon the pun."
"Aajonous, dont kid around, this is serious.."
"Something has to make you rational again. Take a look at who's promoting the fear and who's profiting. Trust me, you do not have syphilis. You have sex more than anyone I know. That exercise in conjunction with your raw diet keeps you clean and healthy. Use your common sense. panic persuades people to do all sorts of things that are not beneficial. Who in their right mind is going to drink poison because someone tells them to? One ofr two more days isn't going to melt your brain, Byron."
"Aajonous! This is syphilis."
"I have said all I can. It is your body, your life and you have to live it. It is your choice."
"Okay, thanks, bye"
Five minutes later Byron called again, "Aajonous, they say I have to take the medication. This is syphilis."
"Would you tell me it's syphilis one more time, just to make sure I remember?"
"Will you stop joking around?!" We're talking about my brain and nervous system."
"Byron, right now we're talking panic and fear. I told you the choice is yours. They cannot make you take the medication. It has dangerous side effects."
He handed the phone to the man at the clinic, and the man said, "Excuse me, how can you be hum and put this man's life at more risk? Don't you care about him, or is he just a client you take money from? I mean, get rational, sir, this is serious. This is syphilis.""Now, now, be nice, and calm down. How long will it take to get the results?" I asked.
"As early as tommorrow, if we rush it through. But he has to begin the medication now."
"Would you read the specific law stating that he has to take medication, and the procedures to enforce it."
"It could take weeks to go through the procedures" He said
"Exactly, so until a judge would rule that he would have to take it, he does not have to take it. And for a judge to order that, a syphilis positive blood would be required. Am I right?"
"you have no idea the danger you are putting your client in.
"let me ask you, does the medication have side effects?"
"Of course"
"If Byrons test comes back negative for syphilis, would you be putting him in danger with medication?"
"This is crazy. This is syphilis. Your ignorance is really sad."
"I have been exposed to the medical profession my entire life, so ignorant regarding it, I am not. I have also been experimenting with raw food diets for 151/2 years, so ignorant about that I am not. Have you ever experienced anyone on a raw diet like Byrons who tested positive?" I asked
"Im not aware of anyone exposed to syphilis who was on a raw diet. Have you worked with syphilis like I have?"
"I admit ignorance to your experience, but not about syphilis. Since you are absolutly certain, would you be willing to pay one thousand dollars in damge if Byrond does not have syphilis as a disease or as a carrier?"
"You are crazier than I thought" he said and hung up.
Byron did not take the medication and the test results were negative. They demanded he take the test again. He did. It was also negative.
*Appendix Q
We Want To Live - Aajonous Vonderplanitz -
Well as you have human logic so do I, and for me it does not feel right or make sense to have sex before marriage so I don?t see a reason for doing it, and you think the Quran is only addressed to some people, so you?re too elite for it? Then sorry all my perspectives and thoughts are rubbish so I?ll say do as you wish one day we will find out. If the Quran is just a messenger what is the message? Where is the message? You make no sense to me.
BTW you lost me when you said ?But how do we hear God, if we hear God when we read the Quran then is it not through us that God speaks, for is it not us reading the quran? I agree that what ever advice we recieve we should weigh it with our best judgement.?
Just because you get married doesn?t mean that night day or even soon after you have to have sex, you have it when you are comfortable, isn?t that logical? So you?re still going with the flow it?s still natural. Besides people could be sexually aroused by something and want to have sex and not associate feelings or relationships but feelings of lust, don?t you think that is possible to occur to you or even in a relationship?
Purpose of life is to do as God ordered. You live a life and be the best you can. You see in my opinion sex in any relationship.. Well I don?t see how it brings you closer to God at all. It?s a desire with a benefit of feeling ?satisfied? or whatever which only benefits you.
People have sex because they desire it they don?t care if they trust them or not they have one goal satisfaction that?s it.
How does putting down the shield and revealing what?s within ourselves to be who we are = submission? It makes no sense
When I said if it doesn?t promote fornication could it mean it isn?t as good as you think, I never mentioned marriage but you thought love is the most important thing, it?s the most important thing to you. So tell me how does sex = love?
So you agree that having sex is being in a state of weakness? So it could be a bad thing..
The Quran was revealed for ALL mankind ALL humans It?s a medicine for ALL. Some people disagree with motherize ? talking to a child in a different manner; child like, child directed.
And no I don?t believe getting marriage is saying I do and signing papers.
You said ?lol, well you see... My words were taken out of context, I am saying if you choose to participate in activities that bring a beneficial growth to your being then your life will blossom. Sex with someone you care would make my life blossom.?
That?s physiological and brain playing. I?m sure if your partner left you would feel very upset about it and it would have the opposite effect of blossom, that?s off course if you cared about her or your relationship with her. Unless off course love = sex.
There is many many many theories of learning; I?m talking about childhood here. Now touching is one way though all things interconnect you can?t touch and learn without having some cognitive aspect working. Do you think there are any other ways to interact in a womb? I think your choices are highly limited. Besides the womb is more of a protection not an interaction. Also as a newborn these things are new you experience different stimuli?s. Some children learn through reactions so why do children repeat things with certain reactions? I wonder? it?s a form of learning I believe from memory its called conditioning Skinners theory.
Anyway there will always be differences
Asalamu alaikum
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Peace Sarah,
Well as you have human logic so do I, and for me it does not feel right or make sense to have sex before marriage so I don?t see a reason for doing it,
By all means, follow what you feel or think is right. Thats what I would encourage.
and you think the Quran is only addressed to some people, so you?re too elite for it?
I think the goal of any scripture is to help people come to the truths that are written in their hearts and souls. When they connect to that then the scripture becomes less neccessary.
Then sorry all my perspectives and thoughts are rubbish so I?ll say do as you wish one day we will find out.
Understand, just because I have a belief that differs from yours it does not mean that either are invalid.
If the Quran is just a messenger what is the message?
To become aware and grow in awareness.
Where is the message?
In everything God created. You can see the resseruction in the seasons, in winter all dies and by summer all is reborn. You can see examples in the flowers and in the trees, how they grow and are fed by the soil and the rain and shine God sends to earth. There are so many signs, in the horizins and in your self.
You make no sense to me.
ok. ???
BTW you lost me when you said ?But how do we hear God, if we hear God when we read the Quran then is it not through us that God speaks, for is it not us reading the quran? I agree that what ever advice we recieve we should weigh it with our best judgement.?
Well, if the Quran is Gods words, and we hear the Quran (Gods words) when we read it then we hear God through our selves.
Just because you get married doesn?t mean that night day or even soon after you have to have sex, you have it when you are comfortable, isn?t that logical?
I agree. To have sex when you are comfortable, you can do this in marriage or out side of marriage; be comfortable.
So you?re still going with the flow it?s still natural.
I listen to my heart and my mind, how is that going with the flow?
Besides people could be sexually aroused by something and want to have sex and not associate feelings or relationships but feelings of lust, don?t you think that is possible to occur to you or even in a relationship?
People can be eroused and motivated soley by lust whether in wed lock or outside of wed lock I don't see the relevance of this question. You can feel alot of things, whats of greater importance is the choices you make. You could feel like killing someone, yet you don't have to choose to go out and kill someone.
Purpose of life is to do as God ordered. You live a life and be the best you can.
And how do you become aware of what God ordered?
You see in my opinion sex in any relationship.. Well I don?t see how it brings you closer to God at all.
Really? It examplifies connection in the most literal manner, isn't that what we are trying to do in our relationship with God; connect?
It?s a desire with a benefit of feeling ?satisfied? or whatever which only benefits you.
If you use sex selfishly then yes, if you care about the person you are having sex with then it will benefit both people. And what is wrong with feeling "satisfied", it does not mean you will no longer grow.
People have sex because they desire it they don?t care if they trust them or not they have one goal satisfaction that?s it.
Thats a generalisation. Sex can be used that way, but that is not the only way to utilize it.
How does putting down the shield and revealing what?s within ourselves to be who we are = submission? It makes no sense
Visualize this, you have a shield up, and behind it who you are remains hidden, you are not surrendering. You put the shield down and who you are is revealed, you have surrendered. When you have the shield up, the key motivation is fear, when you put it down, there is allowance.
When I said if it doesn?t promote fornication could it mean it isn?t as good as you think, I never mentioned marriage but you thought love is the most important thing, it?s the most important thing to you. So tell me how does sex = love?
I am not implying that sex = love, but it can certainly examplify love and it is a method through which love can be expressed.
So you agree that having sex is being in a state of weakness? So it could be a bad thing..
It can be a good or a bad thing, everything however can be a good or a bad thing.
That?s physiological and brain playing. I?m sure if your partner left you would feel very upset about it and it would have the opposite effect of blossom, that?s off course if you cared about her or your relationship with her. Unless off course love = sex.
I would be hurt, yes, but life goes on, no thing lasts forever. I would allow myself to feel as I feel, probably cry and then move on wards. If someone does not want to be with you then the loving choice is to respect their decision.
And I do not believe that sex = love. To the best of my knowledge I have not said that anywhere.
Do you think there are any other ways to interact in a womb?
I am sure there are, but they are all through feeling and intuition.
Some children learn through reactions so why do children repeat things with certain reactions?
If your not aware of that moment then you will just react in a habitual manner. Become aware of whats going on and you then become more conscious of your reactions, you can ask then, do I choose to act in this manner or not. Your responses change as you change.
peace,
khalil -
Im wondering why does boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has to involve sleeping together? In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married. I believe people should indeed date for quite a long time first in order to get to know each other before committing to get married but why does it have to involve sex?
Because I think sexual compability is a very important part of a relationship and it's better to find that out before marriage
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Because I think sexual compability is a very important part of a relationship and it's better to find that out before marriage
I suppose you live in the west therefore we have different cultures and views over things. Thus Im not gonna pass judgement on you bro. By the way, I do think sexual compatibility is important, but I do not think it is that crucial of an aspect of a relationship.
Peace,
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PEace All
sheesh i gotta agree with bro Jankren
it's important but it can be fixed too. nobody gets married knowing everything there is to know about the other person. and nobody will be 100% compatible with another person.
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Peace jankren, all,
Im wondering why does boyfriend-girlfriend relationship has to involve sleeping together? In my country Indonesia many people date for almost 10 years without ever having sex before getting married. I believe people should indeed date for quite a long time first in order to get to know each other before committing to get married but why does it have to involve sex?
I agree. I would like to share some of my personal experiences on this issue with the readers; perhaps these experiences can benefit others !
My parents were engaged for a few years before getting married and they never had pre-marital sex, and they have been happily married for 42 years now. My sisters were engaged for some time before marriage and they never had pre-marital sex and they are happily married. Majority of the people in my country still do not engage in pre-marital sex and the rates of STD's and unwanted pregnancy are much lower than in the "developed" countries.
I agree that because of the western influences the trends are changing in my country also and more people are now engaging in pre-marital sex with the resultant increase in STD's and unwanted pregnancies.
I have been in USA for 15 years now and have been exposed to all those influences but I controlled myself and have been patient, even though sometimes it drives me up the wall ! I have dated a few girls and even though I had ample opportunity to engage in consensual sex, I controlled myself and refused and thank God that I did, because it did not work out on a mental and spiritual level and I would have regretted later on. Also I found later on that a couple of them had STD's and I would have most likely gotten burned ! Not to mention the fact they were dishonest to me about this fact, and they conveniently ignored to tell me while we were dating !
As for those who say that condoms are protective, there is a failure rate even with condoms and it is like playing russian roulette ! Condoms are NOT protective against some STD's like Herpes and HPV (human papilloma virus - causes genital warts and cervical cancer).
The way I am going right now, it appears I might die without having sex, but I will definitely not regret my decision if that happens, because for me abstaining from the forbidden is more important than falling a prey to my "hawa"/ego/desires, thereby failing the test. The one important thing that differentiates humans from animals is that animals do not have control over their desires !
Sex generates very powerful emotions and blinds the involved parties into thinking they are in love, whereas they are just in lust/infatuation and do not really have a mental and spiritual connection to hold them together, and when the novelty of the sex wears out (which is inevitable), there is nothing to hold them together, thus a very high break up rate; not to mention the high incidence of STD's and unwanted pregnancies and the amount of abuse that goes on in these relationships (and they think they are in love !). I have witnessed empiric verification of this in real life situations involving people that I know.
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Peace raztec, all,
Because I think sexual compatibility is a very important part of a relationship and it's better to find that out before marriage
This "theory" has many flaws. One might be very compatible sexually, but when the novelty wears off (which is inevitable), usually there is nothing to hold them together because of the USUAL lack of mental and spiritual compatibility, plus there is dissatisfaction anyway because sex with the same person is not as good or frequent as it used to be.
Humans are not like "shoes" that you have to wear them and try them out before you buy them ! (The analogy is crude so hope no one jumps on me about the "buying" part).
Pre-marital sex does encourage multiple sexual partners before marriage because there is no guarantee it will work out with the first person one has sex with. Because of that, it results in a higher incidence of STD's and unwanted pregnancies, and one has to weigh that against the illusion of finding sexual compatibility before marriage.
Another crude analogy is that of a car. If one has never driven a car in one's life, one will be happy even with a 1980 Ford, but once one has driven a Ferrari, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Mercedes, BMW, Lamborghini etc., one is not happy even with a brand new Nissan Sentra ! (Hope no one jumps on me for comparing humans with cars; as I said, it is a crude analogy).
When one has had quite a few sexual relationships, one gets used to a wide variety of sexual stimuli and variations, and one cannot then find all that in a single partner, and thus expectations get so high that it becomes impossible to find the sexual satisfaction one has gotten used to, and thus the sexual compatibility "theory" backfires !
The above is not just a ranting of an ignoramus; I have seen empirical proof of all of the above in real life situations, also due to the nature of my profession.
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I listen to my heart and my mind, how is that going with the flow?
How isn?t it?
People can be eroused and motivated soley by lust whether in wed lock or outside of wed lock I don't see the relevance of this question. You can feel alot of things, whats of greater importance is the choices you make. You could feel like killing someone, yet you don't have to choose to go out and kill someone.
What I meant by my question is that you could easily fall into sex out of lust not love and maybe think it is out of love and it can distort your reasoning for sex before marriage.
And how do you become aware of what God ordered?
Read the Quran
Really? It examplifies connection in the most literal manner, isn't that what we are trying to do in our relationship with God; connect?
What I am saying is you don?t connect to God via sex.
Thats a generalisation. Sex can be used that way, but that is not the only way to utilize it.
It?s not a generalization besides I said people not all people. And if you don?t have sex to be satisfied or get satisfaction then why would you do it if you don?t gain satisfaction?
You never said sex = love. Though you play its importance so high in a relationship, so it?s somewhat indirectly said.
What other ways are there to interact besides physically? I?m sure there isn?t any other way (in a mothers womb)
Anyway this will be a never ending story, we obviously have different perceptions. So let it be.
Take care, Asalamu alaikum. )
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Peace All
wow bro Tanveer you rock!
to hear that coming from a guy is so refreshing ... in fact i never heard it before (
sad for all those who never were able to say your words but amazing for you!
insha-Allah you'll make one lucky lady enormously happy with your past choices.
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Peace Tanveer, all,
I agree with you 100%. Very-well stated. I would only add that "sexual compatibilty" should be of no concern whatsoever. Guys are easy to please. Women, on the other hand, require complete security, freedom, and most importantly, communication. Once a woman is capable of expressing what she wants, then voila instant compatibility.
On relationships, I also agree that dating for as long as possible is better than jumping into marriage because, as you said, a spiritual and psychological bond must be made. People fail to recognize that their spouse will be their best friend. We don't make best friends overnight. It takes work and trust and fighting through thick and thin together to reach that state.
Peace,
Tay