trust
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Salam Sarah~
Trust is like a brick, in a wall full of bricks. Alone it is solid, when used with others its is a foundation, upon which everything resides and rests. We can trust in ourselves and that is great, but to share and have trust for others, allows us to open our hearts, minds and souls. It allows us to receive, and to give, and it sometimes can be the very thing that breaks and makes a relationship, tests our faith, defines our limits and boundaries. Trust is the key to which we open and retrieve feelings of adequacy, and faith, and feelings of permanency. Trust in God, is more than faith, faith is like believing, trust is receiving that belief and walking in it, and eating, breathing and living in that faith. Trust is by all means, the very essence of what we all need to unite, relate and continue to share.
Honor
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Peace to all,
When I read Sarahs question asking what we can say about trust i thought, why would she ask such a simple question that would end up with a bunch of silly answers, was I ever wrong,
That was a very beautiful and heartfelt way to speak of trust Honor, I couldnt have said anything better, thanks for sharing that with us, you have made my day a little better,
Kurt
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I don't believe it simple for many people.. i was discussing with my friend about trust... it was more about trust within a relationship such as wife husband..
My friend reckons you can not trust your partner. My friend reckons you can trust your partner to be nice to you to be fair in most aspects but there will be times when people make mistakes..
Is it fair to say you can't trust a person entirely because they will make a mistake?
The trust my friend reckons you can't trust at all is in relation to adultery, or cheating.
My friend reckons if you dress nicely (guy or girl) you draw attention and possibilities for people to chat you up.
If you talk to people of the opposite sex (be it with business, be it with religious matters, be it out of interest to learn different things) that it creates possibilities for someone to like another person hence the possibility of cheating would be high.
Personally I believe people are human and can make mistakes in all matters though I believe you should trust a person on such sensitive matters. Just because they are human and sin it doesn't mean they can not be trusted..
Also I believe the possibilities of things to happen don't increase due to dressing nicely or talking for whatever reason. If the intention is to advertise and find some one then then I believe it is different.
I believe the possibilities of such things do not increase unless you want it to happen.
Is it wrong to think like this? is my friend more right? please share your thoughts
Asalamu alaikum
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Peace Sarah, all,
A person can be trustworthy (in a relationship or any other situation) only when that person is righteous, has the ability to control his/her ego and believes in The God and the Last Day and has trusted The God, otherwise it is impossible to fully trust that person.
When we display certain qualities towards The God, we program and purify ourselves and develop the same qualities for our fellow creation too. For example when we are humble towards The God, we come across as humble in front of our fellow creation; when we become peaceful submitters (muslim) towards The God, we become peaceful with our fellow creation; when we love The God, we become loving towards our fellow creation, and when we place our trust in The God, we become trustworthy for our fellow creation too. No wonder The God has asked us to place our trust in Him numerous times (3122, 3159, 3160, 3173, 481, 511, 523, 789, 82, 849, 861, 951, 9129, 1071, 1084, 1085, 1156, 1188, 11123, 1267, 1330, 1411, 1412, 2779, 333, 3348, 3938, 4210, 4236, 4721, 5810, 604, 6413, 653)
11123 And to God is the unseen of heavens and Earth, and to Him all matters return. So serve Him and put your trust in Him. Your Lord is not unaware of what you all do.
Thus when we serve The God and trust Him, it is not because The God needs our service or trust, but it is for own benefit, and makes us trustworthy as a result.
1412 "And why should we not place our trust in God, when He has guided us our path. And we will be patient to the harm you inflict upon us. And in God those who trust should put their trust."
Betraying someone's trust is like betraying The God
827 O you who believe, do not betray God and the messenger, nor betray your trust, while you know.
Satan constantly tries to misguide us and make us succumb to our egos/desires and those who follow satan and their egos/desires will be impossible to be trusted, but those who are believers (mumineen) and place their trust in The God, Satan has no authority over them, and they will not betray the trust placed in them by their fellow creation by falling a prey to their egos and the whisperings of Satan.
1698 When you read the Qur'an, you shall seek refuge with God from Satan the outcast.
1699 He has no authority over those who believe, and who put their trust in their Lord.One of the qualities of believers is that they can be entrusted to fulfill their pledges
238 And those who are true to what they have been entrusted and their pledges.
239 And those who maintain their connections.
2310 These are the inheritors.
2311 The ones who shall inherit Paradise, in it they will abide.7032 And those who are trustworthy and keep their pledges.
7033 And those who uphold their testimonies.
7034 And those who are constant to their connection.
7035 They will be honored in paradises.Marriage is a solemn/strong covenant/pledge. Being intimate with one another after marriage requires full trust, and a solemn pledge/covenant implies full trust
421 And how can you take it when you have become intimate with each other, and the women have taken from you a strong covenant.
A true believer (mumin) and a righteous person and one who believes in The God and the Last Day and does good deeds will never break any covenant/pledge and thus can be trusted
2177 Piety is not to turn your faces towards the east and the west, but piety is one who believes in God and the Last Day, and the angels, and the Scripture, and the prophets, and who gives money out of love to the relatives, and the orphans, and the needy and the wayfarer, and those who ask, and to free the slaves; and who honors the connection, and who contributes towards betterment; as well as those who keep their pledges when they make a pledge, and those who are patient in the face of good and bad and when in despair. These are the ones who have been truthful, and they are the righteous.
1320 Those who fulfill God's pledge, and they do not break the covenant.
Those who break their pledges/covenants will have a serious retribution
1325 As for those who break their pledge with God after having made its covenant, and they withhold what God has ordered should be delivered, and who cause corruption on the Earth; on those is a curse and they will have a miserable abode.
1692 And do not be like she who unraveled her knitting after it had become strong, by breaking your oaths as a means of deception between you..........
1694 And do not use your oaths as a means of deception between you, that a foot will falter after it had been firm, and you will taste the evil of turning away from the path of God, and you will have a great retribution.
Thus it follows that we can trust only those who have submitted to The God, are righteous, have fear/reverence/awe of The God, believe in The God and the Last Day, and have placed their trust in The God. Every person has both good and evil in them by nature and unless they are righteous, they will not have the ability to fully control their ego/desires and it will be very difficult to trust them. That is why it is very important to marry among the righteous believers !
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Peace.
I understand "trust" to describe acceptance through logical deduction, with the intention of learning more.
Taking theology as an example, we have no "proof" other than words amongst ourselves that there is more than one God. If there is no Creator then there would be no Creation, and I consider everything that "exists" to have been created, because "existence" to my knowledge has inferences of a point where it began to exist. The Creator (I'm referring to the God) doesn't "exist",... the God just is. From this we can logically deduce that there isn't no God, nor are there more than one God. Trust is the notion of learning more to understand a logical duction further. If you trust a friend, you could give them your computer password, but with the knowledge that the God can do anything, one would know that the God could make that friend misuse your password, but you could give the password, (literally sharing information), so that you both learn. You would learn more about your friend by seeing what use your friend makes of that knowledge (your not being blind, you are trusting), and your friend would learn at least (IMO) that you like him/her and that you want to share information. I think this this can be called the learning connection.
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peace Sarah, all,
It is an issue of probability.
Talking/meeting/dressing nicely with the opposite sex will by its very nature increase the chances of "cheating" etc, i.e. if you never were to talk/meet with the opposite sex then this will lower the chances. However, as you have correctly identified it is the intention of the individual that is crucial and the far greater factor. For example AQ allows engaged couples to meet in private as long as it is for righteous reasons .
You can trust someone entirely but that does not safegaurd you against your trust being broken. One google definition of "trust" was "reliance certainty based on past experience" and I think that this implies one earns trust gradually. Its built. Smaller things lead to bigger things, so there can be a point where one trusts their partner on the more sensitive/bigger matters. The level reached will be different for each individual and couple, and that's why you get differences, e.g. between you and your friend.
If you are trusting them to never make a mistake, then obviously this is extremely unlikely. Like AQ says, stay away from the big sins (I cant recall the sign), and I think this is a reasonable expectation.
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Peace to all,
When I read Sarahs question asking what we can say about trust i thought, why would she ask such a simple question that would end up with a bunch of silly answers, was I ever wrong,
That was a very beautiful and heartfelt way to speak of trust Honor, I couldnt have said anything better, thanks for sharing that with us, you have made my day a little better,
Kurt
Salam IronSky~
Shokran (Thankyou)...I spoke from the heart. Anything you need, anytime I can help to brighten your day, let me know sun I'm glad this made your day a little better, to be honest, answering it...made me feel better too!
Honor
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Peace Sister Sarah,
As far as trusting your husband/wife, I believe that it is crucial to first trust yourself. If you have true faith in yourself, and know yourself to be worthy of a strong and healthy relationship, you will be ok. Whether or not your spouse does or doesn't ever betray you, will ultimately be out of your control. You must release any fears of the possibility of infidelity. Enjoy the love, become your best person, cherish your mate, and trust that no matter what, God will take care of you. Everyone gets hurt, and everyone hurts others. It is human nature to be imperfect. If you stay focused on what bad things might happen, you will bring that to your life. Focus on the best marriage you can envision and bring that to your life. But shall you fail, or shall your spouse ever fail you, forgive yourself, forgive him, and refocus yourself on your best life. I pray that God shall bless you with a wonderful husband.
Peace and love,
lilyfleur -
Thank you all for your input ) I'm starting to hate the word trust.. anyway I feel it's so important to trust your husband/wife or future husband/wife or even people. But I dunno these days people have this fear of "probability" even if the chances are .0000001
You can trust someone entirely but that does not safegaurd you against your trust being broken.
My friend thinks somewhat like this except believes that because we are human and it's likely to make a mistake, what is the use of trusting if it can be broken. I dunno why but that mentality totally annoys me hypno
If you are trusting them to never make a mistake, then obviously this is extremely unlikely. Like AQ says, stay away from the big sins (I cant recall the sign), and I think this is a reasonable expectation.
Off course everyone makes misstakes.. Let me put a scenario to you or all of you. My friend believes it would be wrong for a girl to wear eyeliner (or makeup) and heels because it would create unnecessary thoughts within a males mind, because apparently guys have some crazy mind that imagine all sorts of things.
So if the girl does not wear makeup and does not wear heels the likelihood of a guy thinking mysterious wonders would be much less. So because the probability of attracting attention in heels and eyeliner is somewhat higher it gives a higher risk for a guy to approach a girl so in that case a girl who is like this can not be trusted? because she might like the person who approaches her or cause a possibility of cheated bla bla bla
I sometimes wear heels would it be wrong for me to say I don't care what goes on in a guys mind, it's not my fault. It's not that I'm purposely wearing heels for the sake of making some guy think some thoughts or to attract, It's because I genuinely like high heels...
confused
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Peace Sarah, all,
Men and women operate on two different wavelengths confused
Recommended reading "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" jedi
One excellent way of figuring out the mysterious inner workings of the female mind and deciphering the female language is to get David DeAngelo's course P Especially recommended for guys; it is out of this world o
Guys, use it righteously, it is extremely and amazingly effective
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Men and women operate on two different wavelengths
Yeh ok maybe, even some women with each other operate on different wavelengths and men etc
Anyway maybe don't you think people could tolerate some things..
Your funny, a guy wrote a course about deciphering the female language LOL you must be an expert than.
Ahh sometimes I think getting married isn't worth it, shame I have desires
Asalamu alaikum
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Peace Sarah,
Anyway maybe don't you think people could tolerate some things..
Sure they can.
I, for example, would look at the high heels as "sharp" (like can be used as a weapon and good for your protection), and the eyeliner and makeup would remind me of maybe preparation for a halloween party and thus benign P
Your funny, a guy wrote a course about deciphering the female language LOL you must be an expert than.
The contents of that course are a carefully guarded secret ! so I can't divulge anything except that it really works
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I, for example, would look at the high heels as "sharp" (like can be used as a weapon and good for your protection), and the eyeliner and makeup would remind me of maybe preparation for a halloween party and thus benign
Ok that is like soooooooo mean! but funny, I was being serious yuck
The contents of that course are a carefully guarded secret ! so I can't divulge anything except that it really works
I feel like reading it and doing the complete opposite so I can say it doesn't work P but hmm maybe it only works for some not all P
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peace all,
So if the girl does not wear makeup and does not wear heels the likelihood of a guy thinking mysterious wonders would be much less. So because the probability of attracting attention in heels and eyeliner is somewhat higher it gives a higher risk for a guy to approach a girl so in that case a girl who is like this can not be trusted?
The part in red is a bit of an extreme extrapolation. It may have some merit but to what degree is debateable.
I, for example, would look at the high heels as "sharp" (like can be used as a weapon and good for your protection)...
That is a good point bro. In terms of safety, high heels would be useful as a "sharp" stabbing-type weapon, but would reduce your ability to run away quickly. Therefore, it depends on what approach you take to safety, e.g. if you prefer to run away or stay and fight it out. I'm not sure which I'd prefer in a potential partner though.... but I'm sure being with a partner who inclines towards stabbing would give me sleepless nights.
That wink is not meant to imply I'm joking by my above commentary, its meant to signify me sleeping with one eye open. Ok, so this one implies I'm joking.
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Ok more like because the girl is wearing heels/makeup it's more likely that thoughts will come to a guys head so because of this it's her fault and you can't trust other peoples mind. So even if other people think of things in their mind without seeing heels are makeup its ok because it's not controllable but because wearing heels and makeup can make someone think its a big no no and creates opportunities for things to "happen". Because something "might" happen she can't be trusted.
Even if a girl wears heels or makeup who's to say that all or most or some guys would think of her in any sort of way.. maybe makeup they would think if they found her attractive or maybe really ugly, but even without people make judgments anyway why heels? Men are just weird.
Ah yeh, you boys better watch out. One day your wife might stab ya one with the heels! Make sure you ya'all get body insurance from your wife P
peace
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Peace sis
but isn't true that "Allah jamil w yo7eb el jamal" (God is Beautiful and loves beauty)
i don't know my parents always told me that lol
so where does the line get drawn?
sorry if this is way off topic
