love before marriage?
-
I cannot understand how these so called arranged marriage can take place, I think it's violance the real love that will help couples to stay marriage during a long time or for life.
Many marriage end up in divorce after a year or so and it's a shame, if they had learn to know eachother better before the marriage took place then they could know if they were compatible, right.
Peace,
First, let me clarify that no one has said knowing each other before marriage is prohibited! And if someone say that its a must to know each other that is also a clear cut lie and pure ignorance.
Second, it is not surprising that you do not know a simple fact that divorce has nothing to do with love before marriage and knowing each other before. In Europe the divorce rate is "7" divorces per 1000 married couples, in UK its double i.e "14" this is much much higher than the countries where people prefer arranged marriages.
-
Peace,
First, let me clarify that no one has said knowing each other before marriage is prohibited! And if someone say that its a must to know each other that is also a clear cut lie and pure ignorance.
Second, it is not surprising that you do not know a simple fact that divorce has nothing to do with love before marriage and knowing each other before. In Europe the divorce rate is "7" divorces per 1000 married couples, in UK its double i.e "14" this is much much higher than the countries where people prefer arranged marriages.
Peace,
Ok, I haven't said you MUST knowing eachother before marriage, but I think it's much better to get to know eachother to avoid too much differences in mood and interests.
I also pretty know that divorce rate is big throughout the world and that have many explanations.
One can be that in west, people take marriages too simple they think it's nothing only a nice ceremony.
And among arabs and other muslims like asians they have start to be more brave and want divorce if the spouse isn't living up to their demands. And they use to be tied up for life before in traditional marriages, often unhappy couples that cheated on eachother but stayed marriage due to keep mom and dad pleased, hmm what a life really!!!!
I'm single myself and I have seen it with my own eyes, and is it really a coincident that so many guys in the thirties are singles?
Many of them have already been married and now looking for their soulmates as they claim hmmm yeah right the world is funny indeed.
Peace
Sis Maria
-
Peace sis Maria,
Yeah, in general I agree with you Its better option to know each other. handshake
Salam, Hamsa
-
Peace
Sure it is yes
Ma salama
Maria
-
Peace Hamsa, all,
In Europe the divorce rate is "7" divorces per 1000 married couples, in UK its double i.e "14" this is much much higher than the countries where people prefer arranged marriages.
The statistic, if ever completed for true comparison, is completely misleading because any country that enforces arranged marriage also enforces tremendous shame for failed marriages. The result, people remain miserably married rather than disgracefully divorced. And the children, of course, inherit all the negativity that's spawned as a result.
It's not to say there aren't exceptions.
Peace,
Tay -
Peace Hamsa, all,
The statistic, if ever completed for true comparison, is completely misleading because any country that enforces arranged marriage also enforces tremendous shame for failed marriages. The result, people remain miserably married rather than disgracefully divorced. And the children, of course, inherit all the negativity that's spawned as a result.
It's not to say there aren't exceptions.
Peace,
TayI totally agree with you )
Please allow me to ask a question.....who amongst us is perfect? Who amongst us can claim he follows all the commandment in Quran ?perfection is only for God, we can only try to be excellent, strive for grade A+........to be honest I may be a grade D or C believer and I have yet to meet a grade A+ believer.
Why is God forgiving? Because he knows we human are capable of committing mistakes.
If we look into Islamic history we find that ?Lady Khatija? was the one who proposed to Mohammed?.could that have been possible without the feelings of love?
I have had a love marriage against all odds and my children have full liberty to marry anyone they want to??.in fact I would want them to know their partners before choosing them for life?..its their life and they have the right to choose a life partner.
In Pakistan 80% plus marriages survive only because of the children and as Tay said because of the tremendous level of shame for failed marriages .
Extra marital affairs are very common in Pakistan??..a vast majority of married men do it and married women are also not far behind. What surprises me is that the same people in private gatherings are the best spokespersons for Islam and advocates for Islamic laws.
We can spot a speck in the western society but we fail to spot the bamboo sticks in our own.
And believe me, all those who criticize the US or Europe for their immoral life style?.will kill each other to board a flight to these countries, if they announce that anyone can come and live there.
peace
-
Easy Agentxxx. Im glad we have a guy like you to tell us about the double standards prevalent in some muslim countries....I feel many muslims who criticise the west fail to mention the immorality in their own lands. And you are right,most would jump at the chance to live in the west,with its religious freedom, decent legal system and economic prosperity...
-
Easy Agentxxx. Im glad we have a guy like you to tell us about the double standards prevalent in some muslim countries....I feel many muslims who criticise the west fail to mention the immorality in their own lands. And you are right,most would jump at the chance to live in the west,with its religious freedom, decent legal system and economic prosperity...
peace and thanks enquirer )
peace
-
Peace,
Yes I do recognise them and I also know that this problem is not there only in Muslim world but in the west as well. But on the name of women rights west has only drived women to achieve the following
Leaving the husbands, freedom to kill their children, be lesbians and freedom of drinking, smoking, having casual sex and drug use. Freedom of showing their body parts in public, choosing the length of their skirts and the size of their surgically enhanced breasts and become a sex symbol.
This is what women have been traped so far on the name of their rights. This is what west wants Muslim world to adopt. We strongly condemn such insult of humanity. We should only raise our voice against the opression in whatever form it is and ask about the human rights in the first place. This is the only way we can make women feel human and and same as men again as God has created her.
Peace all, Hamsa
My western Christian mother and western Christian sister in law have never left their husbands, killed their children, become lesbians, drunk alchohol, taked drugs or smoked. They both dress modestly, have only been with their husbands and never had sex before marriage (or surgically enhanced their breasts). This is rubbish.
In contrast, my Muslim gulf arab inlaws have judged me based on my background, refused to acknowledge my existance due to the colour of my skin and my nationality. My husband has been constantly putting me down and won't accept for me to have an opinion of my own. He just divorced me today - by text message.
In contrast to you, despite my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I will not say all muslims are bad (I am one) or that all gulf arabs treat women badly. But I will say that when wife abuse/women abuse happens I think there is little backup for the women to get out of it in muslim countries. When I was there for a short time - I was COMPLETELY at my husband's mercy. Thats hardly fair.
-
Peace,
The statistic, if ever completed for true comparison, is completely misleading because any country that enforces arranged marriage also enforces tremendous shame for failed marriages. The result, people remain miserably married rather than disgracefully divorced. And the children, of course, inherit all the negativity that's spawned as a result.
It's not to say there aren't exceptions.
Peace,
TayYou are correct. I know this from personal experience because I see it. Women in the East are taught that they are lower than their husbands and often times they are not happy but they are stuck. If they were taught the idea of 'freedom' and 'free-will'. I am sure the statistics will be quiet similar.
-
Peace all,
The problem is we need to find the proper definition of the terms "nikaah", "zina" and "faahisha" in this case. I dont think "nikaah" has much to do which is commonly termed as "marriage". It is more like an oath of responsibility before one engages in sexual relationship and "zina" would be engaging in such without taking such an oath. Now i think in a well organized society this oath SHOULD BE LEGAL through paper or more easily E-CONTRACTS over the internet. "faahisha" i think sister "samia" pointed out dies not even necessarily refer exclusively to sexual activities at all. So theres a lot of research needed in this area instead of just throwing accusations based again on sectarian understandings. GOD Bless! -
My western Christian mother and western Christian sister in law have never left their husbands, killed their children, become lesbians, drunk alchohol, taked drugs or smoked. They both dress modestly, have only been with their husbands and never had sex before marriage (or surgically enhanced their breasts). This is rubbish.
In contrast, my Muslim gulf arab inlaws have judged me based on my background, refused to acknowledge my existance due to the colour of my skin and my nationality. My husband has been constantly putting me down and won't accept for me to have an opinion of my own. He just divorced me today - by text message.
In contrast to you, despite my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I will not say all muslims are bad (I am one) or that all gulf arabs treat women badly. But I will say that when wife abuse/women abuse happens I think there is little backup for the women to get out of it in muslim countries. When I was there for a short time - I was COMPLETELY at my husband's mercy. Thats hardly fair.
Peace,
Yes; I agree with you, that was rubbish! Today I was reading my views on this thread and was laughing on myself. That was me 6 months ago, not any more.peace
-
MashaAllah,
Alhamdulilah how our minds can be opened.
Its so easy to write people off, but everone of us can learn and improve whatever or whoever we are. I think we start learning the moment we learn to take our first breath, and keep learning to the grave. handshakeSorry if I was a bit harsh in my post to you to D