Miscarriage and faith
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Joie, if you question any Muslim about Islam, you will never get a straight or correct answer. What are your problems with Islam, btw?
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Joie
Hello and i'm sad to hear about your story which touches me much. I never had a miscarriage, but other storms and deceptions in my life and i can understand you being "angry", not being able to pray as you wish. I sometimes felt that god was making fun of me; not so long ago... This comes to you when you have the feeling that you are being really sincere in your beliefs and you try do do things in a "clean" way - even if you might not fit into the general acceptation of what and how it should be done - and you find not much positive is coming out of it for yourself even after years.
These last month i changed, my expectations crumbled but still my hope is up and be it only hope in being at peace. Things that hurt awfully (my personal hell) don't do it anymore and i see thing in a very different light. And we all come to seeing things in a different light after some time, or at least the hurting stops.
I don't know if i can be of any help with my words. But hang on. Your questioning islam is only normal, expecially if your expectations are somewhat unrealistic - like how can something like this happen to me on ramadan. Think about all the bad things happening to people all the time and god is for all people not only for the "muslims"
This life is all about how you manage the hard ones. And you never know what the future reserves. May be the next time will be ok, may be you'll adopt, may be...
wish you the best and peace
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Joie,
I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I have suffered a miscarriage in the past too and I know that it can be a terribly devestating experience. I also have suffered many other tragedies in my life that have caused me to question/doubt/struggle with my faith. I think the hard part is that for me there was really nothing anyone could say that would cause me to be stronger in my faith or not question it. I think it is something that you personally have to come to terms with. One of my favorite Surahs is Inshirah (verily, with difficulty soon comes ease). I guess you just have to believe that Allah truly knows what is best for us. Honestly there are still some things I struggle with, but I have just reached the understanding that although I don't always understand what Allah's plan is, I still try to respect it. I think that it is normal to question the religion, but I think a lot of people are reluctant to admit it. Also it is probably really frustrating when you feel sort of abandoned by the Muslim community, which I can also relate too. I don't know if I'm helping much...but continue to vent and continue to try to talk to people to get it out.
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Joie-
i am very sorry to hear about your loss... my own mother miscarried twice and i have lost a sister, so i hope i can feel something of what you are going through.
i think what is good is if you do what is most helpful to you right now. if you need some time away from "organized Islam" as opposed to talking to an Imam, go for that. at the same time, you have us here. i am wondering if there is anything like a Quran study group at your mosque where you might feel more comfortable? or able to talk with others.
may you have strength and support, Joie. PM me if you like, ok?
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My husband and I have discussed adoption. I myself am adopted so it isn't something we oppose. I will be meeting with my Dr. as to any health/medical issues. But adoption is very high on my list of possibilities right now.
Thank you for all the sweet and supportive messeges. I certainly wasn't looking for an "answer" but just knowing someone would listen is very helpful.
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peace sister Joie,
I can imagine your situation would be testing and feelings of being angry and questioning God are in my opinion pretty natural. Many prophets have felt this way. Their examples are not cited for us for no reason.
Remember, God does not burden a soul with more than it can bear. Trust in this, and you will get through it. When a Sculptor strips away the inessentials of his creation to reveal the true form of it, the chizel can be violent, a turbulent process... but not to the steadfast, sometimes it is essential to bring forth its beauty.
God bless.
ps - I think adoption is an excellent option, look how you turned out.
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hopelessness is kufr.... and you seem to be exactly that... hopeless at the time. fair enough... as misscarriages can be devastating. i had one after having a healthy baby the first time. all you can do is pray.... even MORE and from the heart. all is not lost. try to relax and not think about when would you be conceiving or would it be ok or not?? let you mind be at ease and occupy yourself with something constructive. they say its healthy to wait ATLEAST six months after a misscarriage before you try conceiving again. so wait and see how it goes. prayers...
This topic is less about miscarriage than other issues....... But I wasn't sure where to put it! If it should be rerouted somewhere else please let me know.
I have recently had my second miscarriage. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now, and I have had 2 miscarriages in that time. No children yet.
Of course I am incredibly crushed. This second loss came the first day of traditional Ramadhan this year and as such has shaken my faith. I find it harder to want to pray and certainly reluctant to participate in Ramadhan- I am a bit angry you could say.When I explained this to my husband he asked if I could go to the masjid and talk to someone about it. I wanted to laugh, but he was being sincere so I didn't. I haven't been a part of the muslim community for 2 years now. I don't follow traditional Islam, and am much more at home here on Free-Minds( I rarely participate- but my Masters thesis was on the very things found on this site). I also married a non-muslim man. We tried to have someone do a Islamic Marriage for us- he very much wanted one- but we were turned down. I have since left the local community and practice on my own.
But it is times like these when having a supportive community would be great.
I have for the first time in my 8 years as a Muslimah, begun to question Islam. It is terribly disturbing. And I have no one to talk to about my issues with this.
I don't really have a question. Just needed to get it out....
