doing good and helping others
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peace
i'm all for doing good deeds and helping others, but what if people start to take advantage of that help and just use you and don't respect you and you become more like a butler or servant to them, is it ok to choose not to help these people then?
i know we are told to do good deeds, and help others, right, but does that mean we have to let people walk all over us and take advantage of us and treat us like dirt?
or is that the point of helping, to be a slave/servant to somebody, to help people in any way you can by doing everything they ask of you no matter if that is in a way demeaning or disrespectful?
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Salam.
It depends who is asking your help?
Donald Trump, to enhance his wealth or a homeless?If a person asks you to enhance his wealth, then don't do it.
If a homeless asks you for a quearter, buy him a sandwich and help him find a job.We serve God, not humans.
Peace.
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Peace,
From "The Prophet" - Kahlil Gibran
Giving
Then said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."
And he answered
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.
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peace
Salam.
It depends who is asking your help?
Donald Trump, to enhance his wealth or a homeless?If a person asks you to enhance his wealth, then don't do it.
If a homeless asks you for a quearter, buy him a sandwich and help him find a job.We serve God, not humans.
Peace.
actually yes, we do get asked by richer people to give them food or to work on/at their house for free
but hey even we got most of the food from red cross for free so why should we eat it all, right, we should give it to rich people who have more then enough and way more then us, right?
and ok we'll work at their house for free, all of us, me, my mom, rest of their friends in their 50s who worked all their life and broke their backs, because why pay somebody who's actually qualified and capable for the job, right?if this is how your good deeds make you think.. maybe they're not so good?! confused
yeah, you're right, i should just listen to what it says in the quran and help others, do good and by that i mean do everything they ask of me 'come here', 'go there', 'give me this', 'do this', 'do that', 'sit', 'bark', 'roll over... good boy'.
yeah i don't need to be treated with respect when i can just let people walk all over me all my life but hey... as long as they get what they want.yeah ok i'll do that,
thanks -
Peace nerspi,
It sounds like you're venting your frustrations in dealing with a specific person in your life. Why not address the specific situation with a specific course of action. If someone is disrespecting you, tell them all about it. Tell them you're helping them for God's sake but the more disrespect they show you the less you'll be accessible to help them. In general, when you help people, they don't then use you and "walk over you". Most people will just say thanks. Most people are grateful. But if the results of your actions are negative, then maybe your efforts are better spent doing good for someone else.
Peace,
Tay -
peace
actually yes, we do get asked by richer people to give them food or to work on/at their house for free
but hey even we got most of the food from red cross for free so why should we eat it all, right, we should give it to rich people who have more then enough and way more then us, right?
and ok we'll work at their house for free, all of us, me, my mom, rest of their friends in their 50s who worked all their life and broke their backs, because why pay somebody who's actually qualified and capable for the job, right?yeah, you're right, i should just listen to what it says in the quran and help others, do good and by that i mean do everything they ask of me 'come here', 'go there', 'give me this', 'do this', 'do that', 'sit', 'bark', 'roll over... good boy'.
yeah i don't need to be treated with respect when i can just let people walk all over me all my life but hey... as long as they get what they want.yeah ok i'll do that,
thanksBrother, the Quran is not asking you be treated like a dog. It tells you who is sincerely needing your charity
2271 If you openly give charity, then it is acceptable; but if you conceal it and give it to the poor, then that is better for you. And He cancels some of your sins; and God is Expert to all that you do.
2272 You are not responsible for their guidance, but it is God who will guide whoever He wishes. And whatever you spend out of goodness is for your own souls. And anything you spend should be in seeking God's presence. And whatever you spend out of goodness will be retuned to you, and you will not be wronged.
2273 For the poor who face hardship in the cause of God, they cannot go forth in the land; the ignorant ones think they are rich from their modesty; you know them by their features, they do not ask the people repeatedly. And what you spend out of goodness, God is fully aware of it.
2274 Those who spend their money in the night and in the day, secretly and openly, they will have their reward with their Lord, there is no fear over them nor will they grieve.Read the whole Quran and God Willing you will have less questions
Peace
Al
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392
Khalifa
You cannot attain righteousness until you give to charity from the possessions you love. Whatever you give to charity, GOD is fully aware thereof."Progressive Muslims"
You will not reach piety until you spend from what you love; and whatever you spend, God is aware of it.652
"Progressive Muslims"
And do not turn away those who call on their Lord morning and evening seeking His presence; you are not responsible for their judgment, nor are they responsible for your judgment; if you turn them away, then you will be of the wicked5339
"Progressive Muslims"
Every human being is responsible for his own works. -
Nerspi, I think most of us has seen this kind of thing in our life. Some pople are entitled to pity and some to be kicked. Aren't you being blackmailed because of some unconscious sense of guilt on your part? It cannot be doing good if you think that the people you do an effort to help are taking advantage of you. At least it is not doing good to you. Relax. Analise and think that you have objections at this help you are gibing, so why you have them and think that next time you get imposed on you are going to say what you think. On the other hand, are people imposign on you and are you imposign on yourself because you do not know how to face or speak to people?
I do not know what to say to you, but you should not be feeling like that if you were doing what you should.
Salaam y and may God give insight
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peace
well yes tay, i was thinking of some specific situations, it's more about our "friends" and neighbors who act like kings, think they're better in some way, and they're all richer then us but try to save money by having us do some of the things for them but in most cases it is we who have to spend money on them, and they rarely (almost never) say 'thanks', not that we're looking for it, it's just common courtesy but they're not like that.
392
Khalifa
You cannot attain righteousness until you give to charity from the possessions you love. Whatever you give to charity, GOD is fully aware thereof.does that include giving food to people who are richer then us?
Brother, the Quran is not asking you be treated like a dog. It tells you who is sincerely needing your charity
so i'm not obligated to help those who don't really need help?
huruf, i don't think it's guilt i feel, i just think i should help them, but it's their attitude towards us that bothers me, the way they treat us, and it's not like they can't get this help elsewhere and sometimes it's not even help they're looking for, they're looking for convenience, they could all do/get what they're looking for themselves but they rather ask somebody else.
and thank you all for the replies