To Our Beloved Sisters.
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Salam,
Respectfully.Because women are so abused and oppressed today that i would like to help our sisters throughout the world by reminding them of help thaty exists out there. I found this at www.submission.org.
Resources for Abused wives Where to Turn for Help
National Hotline, in the USA
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
TDD for the Hearing Impaired 1-800-787-3224
Some WWW ResourcesFamily Violence Prevention Fund
Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages a domestic violence resource page put together by a recovering abusive husband.
Domestic violence information from the Sanford ME Police Department.This is for women in USA.
This is just the beginning.
God willing and God helps us all.Peace.
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Peace Alen,
I'm not living in USA and i'm not abused (Thank God) but I think it's very good of you to help women like that ).
Maria
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How about abused husbands?
haha i guess it's not that common.
Maria
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haha i guess it's not that common.
Maria
It is actually. The problem is that men are supposed to take everything like a man so male victims of spousal abuse cant do nothing but to endure the mistreatment or get a divorce.
Husband Abuse
Men are Victims of Violence Too? Karen Stephenson
May 29, 2007
Silent victims of domestic violence still exist - and many are men. Studies validate that some women are capable of violence against their male partners. There is help.
In thousands of homes across Canada and the United States the family can be a crucible for seething violence. Women are beaten daily and innocent children are victims of brutal assaults. There is another form of violence that exists, has been largely ignored and even laughed at. Men are also victims of domestic violence.
Statistics show that men are sometimes the victim of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of their partners or spouses. Martin Fiebert, Ph.D. investigated physical aggression by women on their male partner. 285 women from 978 women polled, stated they were physically aggressive toward their male partner. He also found that women in their twenties were significantly more likely to be aggressive than women in their thirties and above.
Advocacy
Numerous studies have been conducted that validate some women are physically and emotionally aggressive in relationships. There have been public conferences about this issue and Senator Anne C Cools (of Canada) has been instrumental in helping to get these issues into the public forum.
Men rarely come forward to share their experiences, as they fear it is a loss of their manhood and they fear being labeled a wimp. There is now clinical literature (Williams & Myer 92) that states men are reluctant to seek help, as they fear being stigmatized. Seeking help, regardless of gender takes a wealth of strength and courage regardless of whether the victim is male or female.
Women Can Be Violent TooMany of todays women know of an uncle, father, brother or cousin who has been the victim of domestic violence. Women have in fact sought services for their loved ones as they can not believe what women can get away with in todays society. They have found in their search is the attitude that if men are abused, its only in self-defense. In the late 1990s there was a public debate in Toronto, When She Hurts Him. During this debate, Judy Rebick (former president of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women of Canada) said that if a man hits his wife it is in self-defense.
Violence against men should be no laughing matter. Yet on television and in the comics violence against men is laughed at. Many of us Seinfeld fans laughed every time Elaine acted surprised and blurted get out as she sent Kramer off his feet. No man will ever be seen doing that to a woman in a sitcom and getting away with it.
Public AwarenessOver the past decade there has been a lot of good work accomplished to bring awareness to this social issue. Shelters for men have opened and crisis lines have been set up specifically for men. There are empathetic individuals out there who are willing to listen and to help.
If you know of anyone, regardless of gender who has been abused, please urge them to seek help.
Violence is not a gender issue it is a human issue.
There are even good men who face terrible dilemma like this
Abused Husband and Kids
Dear Dr. Luv,
This is more to vent my feelings rather than to find a solution. Maybe there are other men out there who have a similar problem.
I am a 45 years old, a professional man, making a fairly decent living from my successful professional practice.
Every single day for the last ten years I have been the victim of my wife's mental abuse.
She calls me at work to run me down; she tells me how useless I am--pointing to other men who are more successful than me.
Every problem she has in her life has (according to her) its cause due to me.
She runs down my parents (behind their backs) all the time.
She treats the children the same way. We have two teenage girls and a boy who is ten years old. They all have emotional problems in one way or another due to the very volatile relationship of their parents as well as the relationship with their mother. I come home to be with my children whenever possible to protect them when she is having a bad day.
I would leave her, but I think she would probably get to live with the kids at least half the time (without me around to help them at all). Also I feel I can provide better for them if we have one household to look after.
Examples of abusive treatment
She promises to take my daughter to buy some new clothes for a sweet-sixteen party that night after she tidies her room and does her homework.
After my daughter has done her chores, my wife says that she has changed her mind because Dad (me) does not make enough money and, besides, my daughter does not deserve new clothes.
My other daughter is concerned about the way she looks as many teenagers are. If my wife wishes to put her down she will say something to her like Oh, I see your hair is falling out" or " You have the worst skin I have ever seen; you will never get a boyfriend."
My daughter is sometimes so upset by these comments she throws up in panic and gets depressed.
I do all the damage control I can.
She swears at me in front of the children all the time. She can go entirely nuts if somebody leaves a wet towel on the bathroom floor. She has hit me once or twice but does not physically abuse the children.
My wife is also a professional and works very hard but not as many hours as me.
Although I do most of the housework and child rearing she is constantly screaming about how messy the house is and what a terrible life I have given her. When I ask why she does not leave, she says she would rather try to make me suffer.
I went for counseling to a psychologist. My wife agreed to go too one day. She denied everything I said. She made up the most terrible lies about me. All the counseling did was to try and help increase my self-esteem.
I have no way of proving to others that she is abusive. There are no laws against mentally abusing ones husband anyway.
Most people don't even believe it exists. People think that abuse is physical, mainly performed by men on their wives and children.
Does anyone know any techniques I could use to change things?
FI - Canada
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This is the problem with statistics and with abuse of abuse. Abusive men or opportunist men (and people in general) are quick to jump any wagon that is to their advantage. The plight of abused men will and is quickkly put to use by opportunist men that will try to nuullify with it the plight of abused women. And the whole world today is a court where balls are bounced against whatever or whoever as opportunity arises, because we seem to be under the spell that things happen according to labels, however those labels may coincide with objective facts or not.
Girls play with barbies. All girls plays with barbies? Really? Doesn't matter, provided some statistic says that 60% or or 80% of girls do(even if they are true), who cares about the rest. 90% of abused spouses are women. Either you make it 60% of abused spouses ar men or the lesser part will simply not exist. We live in a make believe world of statistics and not in a world of reality and individuality where is person is. Either you exist statistically or you don't. If you are a girl and are good at mathematics and don't like dolls, you shouldn't exist becuase you disprove that women are, if on the other hand you are a boy and don't like mathematics and like playing with dolls, well obviously you are gay (and gays exist as a statistical group where you also would exist). Isn't that fun?
Thins may not appear as crude as that at first sight, but the mental image of the world along statistical lines is far more imposed and insidious than we might like or acknowledge, and it makes difficult to accept and acknowledge real sufferings and needs of real people, women, or men or hermaphrodites.
Salaam
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There are abused men and women. There is help for both in Australia.
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Salam Alen...
Probably the hardest thing for any abused woman (or man) to do is to admit that they are being abused and to ask for help. So although there may be help centres, if they don't even admit to themselves then it is difficlut to seek outside intervention. Really sad as they try to keep up an extra-brave facade.
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Alen, may Allah reward you, brother. thank you for this! peace
Peace,
Respectfully.Sorry for the late reply.
Your welcome.I see here in Leicester a lot how women are abused and mistreated by men (sunnis) while these same men - sunnis, yes - live like they own the town.
Let's save Obama and Clinton gal for 2018.
Vote for Jennifer Garner as your next US president.
Thanks.Peace.