Regarding Pornography
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peace all,
I wanted to pick up on the gist of brother Nadeem's post, as it got me thinking about something. I am confident that if one were to abstain from pornography, oogling women etc this would lower their threshold needed to become sexually excited/aroused, so when one met a potential partner it is more likely they would find them more attractive and/or more likely to become satisfied sexually with them. If you get me. I am also sure this observation (i.e. ever-increasing stimulus level needed to give the same reaction) could be applied to many human behaviours.
Brother I have seen this firsthand in my life. Just 1 year ago I was lost with no guidance and what you have described has happend to me. God Willing I will be attracted to my wife and I know it is more likely to happen now that I've refrained myself from "lewdness".
Peace
Al -
Peace all,
Thank you all for your insights into this matter.
Regarding masturbation, Ive read certain fatwas stating that masturbation is ok, but it depends on where the mind is at that time. Whats your guys thoughts on that? If we wanted to be strict, couldn't we say that its not allowed since we are told to, "guard our parts"?
Peace
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Peace,
Ask yourself why it it's allowed/forbidden. There must be a reason why it is. In my studies, there's not a thing advised for the sake of obeying the God. The God isn't in need of anyone of us, so why the commandments? For our own good.
So ask yourself the harms of it and what not.
"Good things happen to those who are patient"
Or to quote al-quran
425 (taken out of context, the verse is about sexual behavior)
"But if you are patient it is better for you, and God is Forgiver, Merciful."
Of course, at the same time being patient can lead one to lose control of one's urges. In this manner is masturbation justified?
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Peace all,
I agree with Wakas and Nadeem here. The potential 'benefits' of porn would quickly run out as the threshold grows. I feel, however, that some concepts such as this need to be based in proportion to the environmental context. For instance, a young man living in a village where he does not see any skin would certainly be less inclined to seek out porn. Whereas, someone living in LA may be more corrupted by it.
Masturbation is another point though. In a perfect world, a woman's sexual desire would be in sync with a man's. That, unfortunately, is not the case. Thus, relieving onesself via masturbation is, imo, perfectly fine as long as it doesn't become a "hobby".
I wonder, though, if people living in tribal societies where clothing is minimal masturbate as frequently as people in "civilised" parts of the world. Could it be that we glamourise/glorify the woman to such a point that it actually drives men to such high levels of sexual desire?
Peace,
Tay -
Giving in to things doesn't make you stronger, it makes you weaker.
A friend of mine really struggled after marriage, She was gorgeous - but her husband just couldn't 'perform', he had been into porn for years and when it came to the real thing he just couldn't do it. She didn't arouse him the way his paper/computer women. After a year of sleeping while her husband 'relieved himself' in the next room. Particulary she was completely sexual frustrated and left him and found someone else.
From a female point of view. I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt they had to 'relieve' themselves in that way. Masterbation you could understand - but porn is to me looking at other people's private parts in a lustful way and therefore zina. I don't agree that 'desire' is always less for women - it probably wouldn't be acceptable for you if females behaved that way - you'd expect them to abstain not be looking at porn. And I wouldn't accept that in any potential spouse
Porn also reduces sex down to animal level. I know for men it is more physical, but still theres more to it than just getting married just to have sex - sorry if its a bit crude but it almost makes your wife the equivelent of a blow up doll - and probably not so perfect.
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peace bro Tay,
Could it be that we glamourise/glorify the woman to such a point that it actually drives men to such high levels of sexual desire?
Not only women, but I think generally speaking in Western societies more emphasis is given to sex / physical pleasure. Thus, if a society is more occupied with this then I would think it would be more likely to generate higher levels of sexual desire than lessen it. They say men think about sex every 5 seconds, but the sample of men used in the study was probably in a Western country... I'm sure if they conducted the same study in a non-Western country, the answer would be much less..... maybe 6 seconds
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Peace dragonflies, Wakas,
Masterbation you could understand - but porn is to me looking at other people's private parts in a lustful way and therefore zina.
What is the difference if a person masturbates to a visual image in his mind, or one on screen?
She didn't arouse him the way his paper/computer women.
Sounds like he or she had a problem - definitely not the norm. A healthy sexual relationship requires both parties to be compromising and expressive in what they are giving and receiving. A healthy sexual relationship will blow away any paper/computer - cuz it's real.
Not only women, but I think generally speaking in Western societies more emphasis is given to sex / physical pleasure. Thus, if a society is more occupied with this then I would think it would be more likely to generate higher levels of sexual desire than lessen it. They say men think about sex every 5 seconds, but the sample of men used in the study was probably in a Western country... I'm sure if they conducted the same study in a non-Western country, the answer would be much less..... maybe 6 seconds
Well said. I agree. Well, maybe every 5.5 seconds.
peace
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Brothers I hope your joking I believe adultry starts from the mind and escalates. It is better to keep your thoughts pure and God Willing you can live a chaste life easier. Think about it, if you avoid thinking bad thoughts, it will be easier to avoid being tempted to break laws commands.
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Peace brother Al,
Can you please clarify/elaborate?
Actually, I think women have a higher sex drive then men, they are just not up-front and gross about it like men are, as a general rule.
Also, I think that whole 5.5-7 sec thing is a total myth. It takes longer than that to put a thought together sometimes... I know you guys are joking (partially at least) but still...
peace
peace
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For clarity, I was only joking about the 5 second thing. The rest was serious.
Well about this 5 second thing, let's be really serious. I am sure it is rubish. In fact we all know perfectly well, that everybody, man or woman, thinks every second and all the time and non stop only about sex. And if anybody says otherwise I don't believe it.
rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl -
Peace brother Al,
Can you please clarify/elaborate?
Actually, I think women have a higher sex drive then men, they are just not up-front and gross about it like men are, as a general rule.
Also, I think that whole 5.5-7 sec thing is a total myth. It takes longer than that to put a thought together sometimes... I know you guys are joking (partially at least) but still...
peace
peace
Peace brother Imran,
Sorry for being vague. Perhaps these Bible verses can shed some light.Proverbs 624 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Proverbs 625 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Proverbs 626 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Proverbs 627 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Proverbs 628 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
Proverbs 629 So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.Proverbs 518 Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Proverbs 519 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 520 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Proverbs 521 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
Proverbs 522 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.
Proverbs 523 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.May God Guide handshake
Al
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Brothers I hope your joking ( I believe adultry starts from the mind and escalates. It is better to keep your thoughts pure and God Willing you can live a chaste life easier. Think about it, if you avoid thinking bad thoughts, it will be easier to avoid being tempted to break laws commands.
I think that ponography is a gateway drug to adultery...
However, I do NOT believe in hating myself for having sexual thoughts about the opposite sex...
If every single creature in God's creation has sexual drive, then how could God expect us to hate ourselves for the very thoughts
that He has put in our minds?The line is what we DO, and what our INTENTIONS are.. that matter, and what will save us from committing adultery...
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I think that ponography is a gateway drug to adultery...
However, I do NOT believe in hating myself for having sexual thoughts about the opposite sex...
If every single creature in God's creation has sexual drive, then how could God expect us to hate ourselves for the very thoughts
that He has put in our minds?The line is what we DO, and what our INTENTIONS are.. that matter, and what will save us from committing adultery...
Hi Daud, I don't think that's quite right. I think Dragonflies was on the right track on the last page - the problem with porn is the way it affects a persons - who am I kidding - a man's view of women, and the way it depletes his energy. That's why it can be harmful.
I don't think it has anything to do with adultery. I think adultery is about hate, not lust.
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Hi Daud, I don't think that's quite right. I think Dragonflies was on the right track on the last page - the problem with porn is the way it affects a persons - who am I kidding - a man's view of women, and the way it depletes his energy. That's why it can be harmful.
I don't think it has anything to do with adultery. I think adultery is about hate, not lust.
About hate? hmmm now that is interesting please continue.......
While the idea of man's view of women is also correct, and the energy thing too...
However, what it also does, speaking from experience, it deadens the power of the conscience over the
instinct, and gives the instinct the power to act without any serious fore thought... -
2433 those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality...
You guys are jokers. How can u condone porn? I agree that porn is around every corner and many of us fall prey to it, but to condone it? Porn is something that degrades women, and there are many implications in it.
How can u agree that adultery is a sin but yet also agree that people committing it are doing good for people who cant satisfy their libido?
Finally there aint many differences between you free minds/ progressive muslims and the hadithists. Maybe that's why you insist on calling yrselves muslims. As least submitters dont condone animal sex on their site.
What u express on this site can have big implications. Sunnis who militate against quran alone actually check yr posts. And if they read this posts, they will go around and shout to everybody that quraniyoun actually SUPPORT PORN! Many idol worshippers (trinitarians, traditionalists,feminists,etc) also condemn porn but you, the so called pure monotheists free minds agree to it. What a shame!
