re-discovering God
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this happens to me every now and then...
and i'm wondering if others can relate? go through this as well?
i will go through periods of pretty intense spiritual turmoil. i would like, innately, to have faith and be guided, but a lot of inner rebellion, discord, and doubt gets in the way. i feel like Ibrahim in 674-79, day to day.
it's a lousy, truly sick feeling, and each time i find myself trying to pull my mind and heart back to understanding and belief. kind of like a Hindu sage struggling intellectually to understand the Absolute. and there are some days in a row i'm unable to utter the name "God" without doubt, or at all.
what do you guys do during these droughts? are you able to pray? to read?
many thanks for your answers... peace
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Peace ayani,
I always got that feeling. Usually it happens when i discover something new about things relating to Him. Usually this doubts is always different. Sometimes doubts in his scriptures, doubts in His way of teaching us, doubts in his creations, doubts whether it is from satan or from Him and a lot more.
When I have this doubts, I always try to face it. I always tell my self to keep calm and be patient. And always observe and remember this kind of feeling. So far I am able to resolve that doubts because the next time I face the same doubts, I won't doubt about it anymore.
At that phase (doubting) I feel a bit distant to Him. That kinda scared me though. Kinda afraid of getting strayed. But that somehow triggered my inner survival instinct to climb to Him much harder, somehow it strengthen my faith muscle. Hehe. muscle ;D O0
That survival instinct can either be more sensitive to His presence, more obeservant to His creations and signs, more sensitive to the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. and probably a lot more. Maybe i didn't notice it. To sum up, I like to categorize this situation as "the fear of the unknown". voodoo
Hope this helps handshake
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Salaam Ayani,
I can very much relate to what you are saying. Even though I know deep deep down God is with me and in control of everything....my ego seems to get in the way. I feel like I'm going through the motions when I pray but I keep telling myself if it's part of our path to God and God willing in time I will experience more joy from it.
We all have our personal journeys. I know I'm where I'm at because of the way I've lived my life for the last 25 years and It's only been 3 1/2 months since I submitted to God totally and practicing Quran alone. I have much to atone for. So I just try my best to engage in the behaviors that I know are the right ones. It's not easy and sometimes I falter. All I can do is to ask for God's forgiveness and try to do better next time.
When I'm having these feelings I really try to think about eternity and the paradise God promises us for being righteous in this life. 80ish years is NOTHING compared to eternity. I just pray I can atone enough for my sins before my time is up in this life. The triumph of heaven sounds indescribably amazing.
I hope this helps.
May God grant you peace and blessings.
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Salaam Ayani,
i agree with joe and wakas. No doubts in God but a lot of doubt about how to reach out. So bad that i haven't been praying or reading (quaran ) for a long time now, although this wasan integral part of my life for the best of 20 years. But, i do not feel lost or anything. I'm fine hamdullilah
lk
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In the name of God, most merciful, most compassionate.
Peace be with you.If you have doubts regarding God, sister ayani, atleast believe in reality.
And God is al-haqq, reality.
And if you have doubts regarding being a muslim, atleast believe in morality.
And a muslim is of high moral.Don't let evil jinn get you off the path.
Peace be with you.
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Salam Ayani,
Would being mad at God be the same as doubting God?
i'm not sure... it seems to me that they are different, but of course they can be at the same time. the anger shows, perhaps, that one still believes in an over-arching Being Who is responsible for what has happened, and Who can be a target of one's anger.
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salaam ayani n all,
please consider reading my earlier post in this thread;
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=16572.30
i should say that the intense feeling is a blessing. perhaps i can post my comprehension of 21-2;
'The sensation, that is without doubt the message, therein guidance for the aware.'
you may want to consider the following when you get that feeling;
- take a break from routine.
- find a secluded place (your room is good, if you stay alone in the room).
- meditate - sit down, and calm yourself. relax the muscles, especially the facial. restrain the mind, as sometimes it turns into a cat, or a monkey, even a crying baby. restrain the mind. remember to focus on God. recall certain phrases that you favor to calm the mind, and the heart. acknowledge God as your Sponsor - He has everything you may ask for. He is the One who sponsors your life in this world, your provisions, your mind, heart, etc. absorb that in your mind. God is your Sponsor. so you are in His Care, and His Care Alone.
- talk to God. talk to Him. ask Him questions, if you may, as long as you do not demand from Him. do it with respect. honour Him. thank Him. thank Him. acknowledge Him. acknowledge Him. tell Him you are stupid, if you may, and thus you are asking for His Assuarance.
please consider.
insha-Allah, He will guide you.peace
joe
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brother Joe, salam, and God bless you. thank you, brother. sometimes you do have to take a break, and step back. God will cause the clouds to part as He wills.
i'm reading the Quran again, and loving it, and am thankful.
"He has everything you may ask for. He is the One who sponsors your life in this world, your provisions, your mind, heart, etc. absorb that in your mind. God is your Sponsor. so you are in His Care, and His Care Alone."
masha'allah, that is beautiful. and so true. peace
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A lot of people who went through this situation have told me that uttering SubhanAllah 33times, Alhamdulillah 33times and AllahuAkbar 34times after every prayer and before you go to sleep and after you wake up can help a lot. And Allah knows the best. May we all believe in Allah SWT all the time 24/7 365 till our last breath without any doubt!
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A lot of people who went through this situation have told me that uttering SubhanAllah 33times, Alhamdulillah 33times and AllahuAkbar 34times after every prayer and before you go to sleep and after you wake up can help a lot. And Allah knows the best. May we all believe in Allah SWT all the time 24/7 365 till our last breath without any doubt!
I think I have that verbatim in one of my hadeeth books o
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I think I have that verbatim in one of my hadeeth books
MashaAllah!
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Peace Ayani
I think i know exactly what you mean as i had experienced the same feeling as you feel when you have doubts as i had doubts.
To be honest though, this has only ever happened a maximum of 4 or 5 times. Those times i tried to remind my self of the many things which point to the existance of God and it worked and that feeling was gone within five minutes.
Looking back now, i think the reason that happened to me was becuase i was not focusing on the truth and sometimes turned away from certain truths and that i placed certain unneccassary hardships upon myself which i did becuase i thought God wanted me to. Yet my way of thought was utterly wrong i think.
I'm very happy as this doubt feeling has not happened for a very long time and it just seems impossible to happen again. I have absoluely no doubts about the existance of God.
Yet the thing i am troubled by is that there are certain days where when i remeber God through out the day i feel or sense, i cannot exactly describe the feeling but i feel close to the truth and feel as though i have been give some sort of preceptive abillity which allows me to preiceve certain truths with respect to God.
This is not always the case and there are days where this abillity is absent and those days are not so good. I believe this absence to be a consiquence of my own actions. I ask for Guidance to see where it is that i go wrong and i discover more and more of my mistakes which result in me losing that state.
Overtime this has resulted in more days where my remembrence or feeling close to the truth is strong and consistant. It has also to some extent resulted in me learning what wrong i have done to have fallen out of that state thus sometimes granting me the abillity to return to that state by correcting my wrong.
One of the key things i think i have learnt is that i must not forget that i am Human and to view things as normal withouht falsely attaching things to them. Very importantly i also learnt to strongly stick to the Truth in what use sense.
Sorry about the length
I hope that you lose that feeling.
Take care
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Nimnimak ~
salam aleykum, thank you for writing that.
it's remarkable you should mention that, as sometimes i feel that way, too. able to understand things, aware, clear.
thanks to God that your faith is strong ~ alhamdulillah. the more we seek God's countenance and remember Him, and submit to Him, and strive in good deeds, the better in faith we will be. the Quran does say that, and it is proving itself true for so many here.
may God open our hearts to surrender, and peace.
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Being mad at GOD means you know He exists. I used to get mad at GOD. Finally I have realized that the bad comes from dumb choices I have made, or there is something I need to learn when GOD allows something bad to happen.
I used to have doubts that GOD existed but then-I had a few close encounters with Jesus, the Holy Spirit. I have not had doubt since then.
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Being mad at GOD means you know He exists. I used to get mad at GOD. Finally I have realized that the bad comes from dumb choices I have made, or there is something I need to learn when GOD allows something bad to happen.
yep... truly God is the All-Knowing, and the Humbler. He blessed and punishes as He will, and yet His mercy encompasses all things. as a Christian friend of mine would say of such difficult times spiritually, "God's really been kicking me on my a** lately".
I used to have doubts that GOD existed but then-I had a few close encounters with Jesus, the Holy Spirit. I have not had doubt since then.
God guides whom He will through whatever means He will, and sister, if He wishes for you to find faith and His guidance through Christian faith, the best guidance is with Him. God has blessed you with faith in Him- a Muslim may not agree with trinitarian ideas, but God knows best who serves Him, and who is guided.
