My Answer
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Salaam, and give thanks for the existence of this site and forum.
I accepted Islam in April 2004 after acknowledging that certain faiths weren't and never would be on my frequency.
I was taught by Sunnis at a local mosque; but quickly became frustrated with the general acceptance of hipocracy, contradictions and drama within the masjid I once called home. I ended up choosing to spend my first Ramadan alone, and never looked back. As "independent" and "freeing" as it all sounds, I was quite broken and depressed from the whole ordeal.
I knew I believed in the Qur'an, and valued Hadith and Sunnah as a part of Islamic history. But I also felt that the path set in the Qur'an was the only way to go if I wanted to build a solid relationship with Allah (swt). Spending two years in a Gulf country made my belief in the Qur'an-only path/perspective even stronger (Every tried using your inhaler to stop an asthma attack in front your students during Ramadan? giveup.
Since reverting, I've been blessed enough to stumble upon a variety of books and websites that confirm what I feel in my heart about the deen. It gets lonely sometimes; especially where I currently live (Mexico, where there's less than a handful of Muslims from any vein), but that's life I guess.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Ma'salaama,
T. -
Hey
Welcome to the forum, I hope you enjoy your stay here as well as the diverse opinions of everyone on here! It must be hard living in Mexico as a "Qur'an Alone" muslim, you will be in my prayers, I'd like to know if you've met any others and how you've dealt with your experiences. May you have an enjoyable and fruitful life God Willing.
Peace
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peace,
Welcome to the forum.
I like your chosen username and your story.
As "independent" and "freeing" as it all sounds, I was quite broken and depressed from the whole ordeal.
If one has built something but on an unstable foundation, it is normal for it to be broken down before one can rebuild again, stronger.
Build your foundation strong brother. And dont feel too lonely, feel free to join www.QuranConnection.com
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Many thanks. I appreciate the welcome. Insha'allah there will be a positive space for me here (as well as on QuranConnection). It's always nice to have a place to call home.
To my knowledge, I haven't met any Muslims in Mexico yet. There's a Syrian brother who's established a Sunni Islamic center here in D.F. He's invited me via email to stop by for Salat al Juma and hang out with his wife and the other muslimahs whenever I'm free; but I've been there and done that, so I'm not interested in trying again...
(sorry, sisters. but you know as well as I do how we can get when we're bored, insecure, and too afraid to do anything about it...and that's just not where I'm at...lol, I guess I have followed in the footsteps of the women of my family regardless of my faith, i.e., I make the effort to keep my head in the scriptures, not the religious rumor mill.). . .
When I was in the Gulf, I buried myself in my work, my hobbies and motherhood as soon as I caught wind of the climate of tolerance where we were living. People were having a hard enough time believing that my son and I weren't South Asian (and therefore, somehow deserving of the overt discrimination and abuse they'd attempt to throw our way), so I didn't bother busting out my "Got A.A. - Allah Alone?" bumper sticker. There's one brother I still keep in touch with, but he's an elder born and raised Sunni, and quite respected in certain circles, so mustering the courage to break the news to him has proven difficult for fear that he might go into cardiac arrest.
I've yet to meet anyone outside of the Qur'an-only circle who doesn't think I'm committing shirk and doesn't feel like they have a right to exile me physically/emotionally/psychologically (or worse), so I just don't bother debating with ignorance. If someone deliberately gets in my way, I let 'em know what's up, regardless of the issue at hand. But on a milder note, as soon as I start hearing the self-righteous religious gibberish, I tune it out, and make a note not to re-engage in the future. Generally speaking I have other, more positive avenues on which to focus my energies, and I've got my own flaws to work on, so that's where I prefer to set my sights.
And that's how I deal with my experiences. I do my best to brush myself off and keep moving forward, examing the experience with complete trust in my Maker and without any fear towards any human. This philosophy/practice is no longer a choice; ma'shallah it's become a reflex. Otherwise, I simply wouldn't have made it this far in life.
What about you brothers and sisters? How do you deal with your experiences...or is there a group therapy thread on the forum I can check out? Reading how all of you cope would definately give me extra strength.
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People were having a hard enough time believing that my son and I weren't South Asian (and therefore, somehow deserving of the overt discrimination and abuse they'd attempt to throw our way)
Apologies, but the above doesn't sound right to me. What I meant to say was that because it was assumed that we were South Asian (which we're not), many people - Muslim and non-Muslim alike - also assumed that it was completely okay to treat us like dogs (which I have a problem with on many different levels).
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Apologies, but the above doesn't sound right to me. What I meant to say was that because it was assumed that we were South Asian (which we're not), many people - Muslim and non-Muslim alike - also assumed that it was completely okay to treat us like dogs (which I have a problem with on many different levels).
Some Arabs are rather racist, but this isn't the case for the majority so I am apologetic for any discrimination you received when you were in the Gulf.
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Some Arabs are rather racist, but this isn't the case for the majority so I am apologetic for any discrimination you received when you were in the Gulf.
Salaam, Bubbles.
No need to apologize. Every community has internalized and continues to regurgitate the -isms that have been inflicted upon them via (neo-) colonialism and (neo-) imperialism. Yeah, it hurts me horribly when it happens (whether it's directed towards me and my African American community, in the case of racism, or because someone's assumed I'm Indian or Cuban or whatever), but I do my best not to take the mental slavery of others personally.
Objectively speaking, it all has to do with mindful reprogramming (which is one of the reasons why I'm here at free-minds bravo). If someone's not working towards re-wiring themselves, you can't expect a whole heck of a lot, now can you?
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Many thanks. I appreciate the welcome. Insha'allah there will be a positive space for me here (as well as on QuranConnection). It's always nice to have a place to call home.
To my knowledge, I haven't met any Muslims in Mexico yet. There's a Syrian brother who's established a Sunni Islamic center here in D.F. He's invited me via email to stop by for Salat al Juma and hang out with his wife and the other muslimahs whenever I'm free; but I've been there and done that, so I'm not interested in trying again...
(sorry, sisters. but you know as well as I do how we can get when we're bored, insecure, and too afraid to do anything about it...and that's just not where I'm at...lol, I guess I have followed in the footsteps of the women of my family regardless of my faith, i.e., I make the effort to keep my head in the scriptures, not the religious rumor mill.). . .
When I was in the Gulf, I buried myself in my work, my hobbies and motherhood as soon as I caught wind of the climate of tolerance where we were living. People were having a hard enough time believing that my son and I weren't South Asian (and therefore, somehow deserving of the overt discrimination and abuse they'd attempt to throw our way), so I didn't bother busting out my "Got A.A. - Allah Alone?" bumper sticker. There's one brother I still keep in touch with, but he's an elder born and raised Sunni, and quite respected in certain circles, so mustering the courage to break the news to him has proven difficult for fear that he might go into cardiac arrest.
I've yet to meet anyone outside of the Qur'an-only circle who doesn't think I'm committing shirk and doesn't feel like they have a right to exile me physically/emotionally/psychologically (or worse), so I just don't bother debating with ignorance. If someone deliberately gets in my way, I let 'em know what's up, regardless of the issue at hand. But on a milder note, as soon as I start hearing the self-righteous religious gibberish, I tune it out, and make a note not to re-engage in the future. Generally speaking I have other, more positive avenues on which to focus my energies, and I've got my own flaws to work on, so that's where I prefer to set my sights.
And that's how I deal with my experiences. I do my best to brush myself off and keep moving forward, examing the experience with complete trust in my Maker and without any fear towards any human. This philosophy/practice is no longer a choice; ma'shallah it's become a reflex. Otherwise, I simply wouldn't have made it this far in life.
What about you brothers and sisters? How do you deal with your experiences...or is there a group therapy thread on the forum I can check out? Reading how all of you cope would definately give me extra strength.
I have taken note of what you said, treating every things as an experience/lesson from God whom all fear and respect belongs. I agree fully and will strive to use that idea in my life. You mentioned motherhood, are you raising your children as muslims? When if ever will you give them a Qur'an to read or will you leave them to come to their own choice ? It's something I have been thinking about if one day Insha'allah I become a father, when would be the time to discuss God and my belief to my child?
Also do you feel like you will ever tell you're brother, or distance yourself further. Sometimes what they don't know won't hurt them I guess..I haven't really dealt with it as such. My extended family do not know as yet. My Mum knows that Me and my sister are on the word to becoming believers. It's going to be hard because my extended family are really strong christians. My Grandmother is almost fanatical as is my auntie and that has passed down to her children. They see muslims as something to be repulsed, and have a suicidial, violent, Qur'an bashing, lilting and snorting turban wearing image of a muslim whenever the word is mentioned. So I do not know how they will react. I can take things very personally and get emotional/angered so I hope God willing peace will settle on my heart when I speak and I only greet them with Peace. In the end they will either reject or accept you. The only rejection we should truly fear is that of God (although we should strive to maintain our bonds with family and to help them in times of need, but sometimes the worst comes to worst) and therefore we must strive to be believers by nature not by name and not divide ourselves from each other.
In the end my family are ignorant Christians, they are ignorant to the truth of Islam and the source of the religion. And they are also ignorant to the fact that Sunni Islam is the largest "denomination" in the world, and many if not all muslims they encounter are Sunni and are not practicing what is in the Qur'an. So Insha'allah I hope I shed some light for them, that will be my way of dealing with it with them. Basically explaining why, and how I went down this road.
lol this is the closest thing to group therapy I know of, but it helps. I hope one day more people like us can sprout up in our community and we can share with each other our lives and come to know one another or even grow to love one another. Truly God loves the believers.
Peace
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I have taken note of what you said, treating every things as an experience/lesson from God whom all fear and respect belongs. I agree fully and will strive to use that idea in my life.
Really? Wow, thanks.
You mentioned motherhood, are you raising your children as muslims? When if ever will you give them a Qur'an to read or will you leave them to come to their own choice ? It's something I have been thinking about if one day Insha'allah I become a father, when would be the time to discuss God and my belief to my child?
I have a son who?s ten (Actually it was my son, and what I wanted him to learn about the Almighty that finally persuaded me to officially embrace Islam.). Through islamicbookstore.com, I?ve been able to purchase children?s books to expose him to stories of the prophets and the Islamic festivals. When we were following the Sunni way, I even invested in the Adam?s World videos. While we don?t have the videos anymore, we still have the books on the prophets. I often find my son rereading them on his own just as much as he rereads his Harry Potter books, ma?shallah.
These past two Eids I asked him to do a writing project on the festivals and why they are important to him. He did okay, so I?m going to have him do it again this year. How to introduce the Qur?an has definitely been on my mind, so I'm thinking of asking him to do a reading/writing exercise on theme-based selections in the Qur?an. My main objective with teaching my son about Islam is not to push him. So far it?s worked.
Also do you feel like you will ever tell you're brother, or distance yourself further. Sometimes what they don't know won't hurt them I guess..
I have the feeling that my friend/Muslim brother will find out how I feel eventually.
As for my biological family, there hasn?t been any hostility among my mom and siblings (my dad past away before I reverted?another factor in my decision to accept Islam), but ignorant comments - without malicious intent - have been made on occasion. The good thing is that they love me so much that they?re willing to be open and let me teach how and why certain beliefs they have about Islam are based in ignorance.
How will/do my other relatives react to me being Muslim? I don?t know, and I?m pretty indifferent. I was raised in a multi-sect religious family (Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Seventh-Day Adventists, Pilgrims, agnostics?). My parents never had me christened or baptized because they wanted me to figure things out on my own. Some of my family are devout and practice their faith, some don't. Considering all this, I don?t expect too much drama from anyone (at least, not to my face, lol). If they can believe in a different version of who the Creator is, why can?t I? If they don't make the effort to practice their faith, what do they care what I practice?
Insha?allah your extended family will accept your decision with an open mind, or leave you be if they don?t.
Yeah, I guess the forum itself is group therapy. Thanks for the reminder.
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As'Salaamu Alaikum...
Reading the responses of those who've found their way to "Qu'ran Alone"... it does help just a little to know that you are not alone; however, it is so difficult trying to get others to understand why and how you came to make this decision. It is always so "foreign" and "foolish" to them.
It's bad enough that I grew up in a family strictly based on Christianity; which I once accepted for a religion myself, but after feeling COMPLETELY uncomfortable with the idea of Jesus being either God Himself, or God's Son... or anything other than a messenger for Him, I decided that Christianity wasn't for me... and for awhile I explained to others that I had no religion.
Now, I have to deal with being looked at "cock-eyed" by those family members and friends who only know and accept Christianity... as well as strangers... PLUS, I now have to also deal with other Muslims who WON'T accept me, because I am choosing to go "Qu'ran Alone"! So, LONELY... I guess is a good word, but not so much as the word FRUSTRATING!
I just don't get how anyone can read the Qu'ran and not get the understanding of not associating anything or anyone with ALLAH! Yet, they will quickly quote a surah to you that you ask yourself "Wow, did they just quote something to me that they obviously did not quite understand themselves?!!!"
I just don't get it! The Qu'ran is CLEAR... COMPLETE... and PERFECT... and they will agree, then follow-up with a "BUT"... BUT what??? There is no "BUT". And because I haven't taken the "Shahada"... according to them, I am not a Believer. What I believe is that that is shirk. It is associating another with Allah; which Allah warns against. What does the word "and" mean... along with... in association with... plus... also? Isn't that "association"??? Or... is there something wrong with me and my understanding?
Can someone help me with this?
Meek
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Salaam, Meek. Welcome to FM welcome
Though it's easier said than done (although it's become easier with practice), I make the effort not to get too worked up over feeling ostracized by any self-righteous religious follower, or any person who has adopted a holier-than-thou judgemental attitude towards me just because I'm different or not willing to chop off a finger to be like them. During times like these, I remind myself of two facts
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Newton's Third Law (but apply it to mental frequencies instead of motion. Not everyone is going to agree with me/you/us, or do so diplomatically.); and last but not least....
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Good 'ole 1091-6 from the Qur'an.
Face it, brother, we've got better ways to spend our energy. Besides, I've never been able to have a two-way, intelligent conversation (emphasis on intelligent and conversation) with a bigot unless I give up a piece of who I am, which simply isn't worth it.
Ma'salaama,
T. -
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Im really wondering how discriminative the Arabs in the Gulf are toward browner people?
Salaam, Brother.
I actually think this question might get a larger response in a separate post. -Isms/-Phobias (based on race, class, nationality, religious beliefs, etc.) within the ummah definately need to be acknowledged and addressed in order for us to move forward as a community.
Ma'salaama,
T. -
Salaam, All...
It's me again, Meek... only I'm a Sister, not a Brother (smile)! I guess I need to tone it down a little, huh? Am I not being lady-like on this forum? LOL Sorry, if I'm not (just kidding guys).
I just want to thank you all for the responses and the encouragement... and properly introduce myself... the name is Meek... short for Tamieka (My loved ones gave me that nickname, but I think it fits properly... so, I love it!).
Anyway, I'm glad to be here... and I'm especially thankful to ALLAH for having found such a forum.
Peace and blessings to you all...
Meek, The Lady angel
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Meek, The Lady angel
Salaam, Meek. I just wanted to apologize for assuming you were a dude.
Ma'salaama,
T.
