In Need of Prayers--- Facing Divorce
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Salaam ibelieveitonly. You forget, and the people who reply forget, that at the time of the nikah, both of you wanted to be with each other, and took an oath in the name of Allah. Allah has established the rights and duties of believers in a Nikah and a Talaq.
You inform us that he no longer wants to be with you. This is a huge change from the condition in which you both were in at the time of the Nikah. There must be a corresponding huge change in one of the persons, to account for this huge change.
I have read your other post. Critically let me cite your statement that lies at the root of your problem. You claim "I really valued being married in the eyes of the government and I frown down on Muslim marraiges that are not legally sanctioned by the government because it puts people, particularly women, in such an awful position"
You frown on Muslim marriages, you value being married in the eyes of a pagan government, you want the sanction of a pagan government, you condemn Islam for putting women in an awful position.
Clearly, your heart is not that of a believer. You worship pagan governments. You condemn the hukum of Allah and frown on what Allah has established for believers.
This informs me that the huge change is yours. Your husband, as a believer will not want to remain married to you, because he believes and rightly so, that your disobedience to Allah, is a danger to him. The danger to him is you want to turn him away from his worship of Allah. You are demanding of him that he engage in pagan practices. May Allah protect him and us from the shaitaan.
His decision to talaq you is the correct decision. You apparently will not turn from the evil wishes of your heart. If you insist in these evil wishes, you can go down the path of aazab/destruction on your own. You have no right and never will have a right to drag your husband down the path to destruction. Let him maintain his obedience to Allah, you should be issued a talaq. He will answer for his worship of Allah, you will answer for you worship of pagan government, on the Yown e Qiyamat/Day of Judgment.
Allah is the Lord of the Day of Judgment.
Blessings to you Al Araf,
Sometimes when people get really upset, they have temporary feelings that do not reflect their "true self". Emotions run deep and they can come out of us in strange, sometimes shocking, ways. Most people can tell you they have said things they don't really mean when they get upset or scared. Don't be so quick to judge ibelieveinitonly's heart as that of an unbeliever.
Peace,
dotty -
Salaam dotty. There is no such error/mistake/sin called "being quick to judge" That concept is non Islamic, and found in confused western societies, as one of the many strange concepts that arise from the confusion that results from being wrongly guided, or not guided at all. In order to demonstrate why this concept does not derive from the wisdom of Allah let me state to you another concept.
Justice delayed is justice denied. Contrast this with, being quick to judge. any reasonable person can see they are logical opposites. This is the result of relying on fallible human beings instead of relying on an infallible Allah.
Your sorrow and grieving over the condition of ibelievitonly, is misplaced. Those who have faith in Allah, no fear is on them nor shall they grieve. Ibelieveitonly's seeking our grief to join her grief, is a person lacking in faith seeking others who lack in faith of Allah.
Allah does no evil, man does evil. Ibelieveitonly would not have found herself in the position she is in today, if she had obeyed Allah, and stayed within the limits of his hudood.
As I demonstrated, using the words of Ibelieveitonly, that she is opposed to the hudood and hukum of Allah. Her belief that Allah's way is evil and persecutes women is clearly the mark of an unbeliever. My belief based on her words that she is an unbeliever is a reliable indicator of her "true heart"
Her stiff necked reliance and worship of godless pagan governmental statues and regulations has resulted in her disobedience to Allah when she gave them precedence of Allah's hudood and hukum. When Allah issues a hukum over a matter, and Allah has issued hukum over nikah and talaq, then Allah is to be obeyed, Allah's hukum pre empts all statues and regulations.
Our grief and sorrow is that of one who has lost their way and in danger of losing their eternal life.
I give you a choice, is it better for ibelieveitonly to be told the very unpleasant truth about her beliefs even if it runs afoul of her rebellion, or, is it better that ibelievitonly be given platitudes and sympathy where she wanders on blindly off the path of Allah headed for destruction?
If ibelieveitonly uses this response as further justification for rebellion, nothing has changed, she was rebelling against the hudood and hukum of Allah which got her into her situation in the first place.
Clearly platitudes and sympathy will result in the loss of her eternal life, and destruction. There is evil in platitudes and sympathy in this instance, it is to be avoided.
Allah is Lord of the Day of Judgment. They are respited only for a while.
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Your sorrow and grieving over the condition of ibelievitonly, is misplaced. Those who have faith in Allah, no fear is on them nor shall they grieve. Ibelieveitonly's seeking our grief to join her grief, is a person lacking in faith seeking others who lack in faith of Allah.
No sorrow or grief... I just think you're throwing stones from inside a glass house. I never met anyone that was perfect before. Nice to meet ya!
Ibelieveitonly would not have found herself in the position she is in today, if she had obeyed Allah, and stayed within the limits of his hudood.
Wow, this is a slap in the face to all the children who are raped and tortured... the tiny cancer patients filled with pain... the starving children stricken with disease, etc. Guess they deserve it according to you.
Peace,
dotty -
Ibelieveitonly would not have found herself in the position she is in today, if she had obeyed Allah, and stayed within the limits of his hudood.
Yeah, if she said yay to "Al Araf's Muslim Marriages" and never once thought of legalised marriages being superior, she'd never be in the situation she is today because those "Islamic Muslim Marriages" never ever result in a divorce apparently.
Your sorrow and grieving over the condition of ibelievitonly, is misplaced. Those who have faith in Allah, no fear is on them nor shall they grieve. Ibelieveitonly's seeking our grief to join her grief, is a person lacking in faith seeking others who lack in faith of Allah.
I see, so basically Al Araf has also never felt grief or fear in his life either! Or probably (and this more reasonable) the meaning of the verse is being taken in a whole different and unrealistic sense as everyone grieves or feels fear in their life regardless of whether they are "Al Arafs role model Muslims" or not.
I give you a choice, is it better for ibelieveitonly to be told the very unpleasant truth about her beliefs even if it runs afoul of her rebellion, or, is it better that ibelievitonly be given platitudes and sympathy where she wanders on blindly off the path of Allah headed for destruction?
She should be given practical and realistic advice in these difficult times, not being judged by fanatical firebrands with their highly subjective opinions more so when they can only judge the person and the situation (regardless of what really transpired) based on a couple lines that might well be completely irrelevant.
If you want to talk privately ibelieveinitonly, please PM.
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She should be given practical and realistic advice in these difficult times, not being judged by fanatical firebrands with their highly subjective opinions more so when they can only judge the person and the situation (regardless of what really transpired) based on a couple lines that might well be completely irrelevant.
So true. If Al Araf thinks that it's always the woman's fault if the husband divorces her in a muslim marriage... he's not been around much. For example... I've witnessed, with my own eyes, a man who was intensely pressured by his family to divorce his wife (all muslims). He didn't want to, but the pressure was too much for him so he finally broke down and did it. Strangely enough, the man's mother was the one who asked him to marry the woman in the first place and the entire family went to the marriage ceremony. And, to top it off... the family admited that she was a good woman and she didn't do any mistake, but they couldn't bear it anymore (after a couple of years) because she couldn't have children, GASP! She didn't deserve this at all. It's rather a test from God (for all involved) or God has better plans for her.
I'm with savage_carrot, ibelieveinitonly... PM me if you want to talk.
Peace,
dotty -
The point is that when somebody is going through very trying times and is emotionally weakened and gets on top of it the kind of speach or (ill) advice which pound her or him with guilt and doom it is really too much.
Ibelieveinitonly, sister Try to be strong. I do not really know how the thing will turn out for you, but please fight for your own interests, but do not necessarily identify them with being tied to a particular person. Of course, if you can mend things honourably and with self respect so much the better. But if not, salvage what you can of your own interests. Defend yourself and your interests, and do not feel any guilt about it. Your first duty is to survive, and in sha Allah, you will do it, and forget guilt, and forget giving weight to things like requital or anything like that. When we feel that injustice has been done to us, we are overburdened by the sense that we must see justice be done... Leave it to God. That may be too much or a little single person, even a very outraged person. But take charge of your life. Be in charge of your life, and do not kid yourself that you cannot be happy without that man. We all can be happy with or without the most unexpected things, and may be God, wants you to discover it and cure of some addiction.
TRUST GOD, TRUST GOD, TRUST GOD. He doesn't make mistakes. It is not your husband who will love you beyond anything, it is God who loves you beyond anything and will give you the best. Calm yourself and take charge and DON'T FEAR. If you fear that you are loosing your husband, then the best thing that may happen to you in fact is that you loose him. You cannot be kept hostage of that fear. Get over it and above it.
Salaam, take care of yourself and may God help you and give you wisdom.
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thank you all very much for your prayers.
i spoke to him today and he is still not budging from this decision, and it just makes me sad. i want to move on with my life, but I love this man very much and he is just my everything.
please continue to pray, but just pray for the best for me at this point as I can't be with a man who does not want me.
my heart is hoping that the best is being with him, but only God knows what is best and only he knows the future.
i am just so afraid of being lonely.
Peace ibelieveinitonly,
your post above shows your wisdom and your faith, as well as your very human fears. It may take some time but i'm sure things will turn out all right for you inchallah.
Wish you the best
lk
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Salaam,
i am just so afraid of being lonely.
Being alone and being lonely are two completely different things, imho. I'm also here to listen to you via PM if you need anyone else to help get you through this.
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Salam ibelievitonly. When you post about your "rights" in a forum for Quran followers, the presumption is your post relates to the Quran, and any rights that may be accorded you by Allah as recorded in the Quran.
You used the word divorce repeatedly. I replied with the Quran references on divorce. The answer that I provided you comes straight from the Quran with references that you can verify that Allah has in fact said exactly what I quote.
If anyone has a dispute with what Allah has said, Allah has already answered them in the Quran. Allah says to me that I am a plain warner, as a person who conveys the message, and once I have conveyed the message Allah will take account of their actions. Allah also says that with some people, it is alike whether they are warned or not warned, they will continue wandering blindly onwards in their inordinacy.
This website is for Quran followers to discuss the Quran and related topics. This website is not a legal advice forum on immigration law, nor is it a grief counselling forum for those undergoing divorce.
As you have been asked repeatedly by forum members, what right are you talking about. You have failed to respond. My opinion is you are misusing the word, right. The word right is a very specific term, it means that you are legally entitled to something. There are some rights that come from Allah, and there are some rights that come from governments.
For example, Allah provides the right of talaq to a husband, Allah provides the right to maintanance for a woman who has been given a talaq. The right is specific. It is not "my rights" it is "my right to maintenance" You MUST state the specific right that you believe you are being denied. Throwing the word "right" out there and expecting people to guess what you mean wont work and is a total waste of time.
If in fact your issue is immigration law, then this forum is not the place for this discussion. . The correct thing for you to get the correct answers is to consult with an immigration law attorney in your county, they charge a small fee for the consultation and you will be advised of your options. Call the local county bar association, their number is in the telephone book.
Allah is the knower.
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This website is for Quran followers to discuss the Quran and related topics. This website is not a legal advice forum on immigration law, nor is it a grief counselling forum for those undergoing divorce.
Al Araf,
Not only are you NOT a moderator but you are also a new member.
I suggest you read more posts on the forum before declaring what "it is" and what it "is not."
Please be polite and respectful to the members of this board.
Arnab
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Salam arnab. I quote from the main page of this website "This website has been created for all people who have a desire to allow God into their lives and follow His path alone..."
The presumption is, when a person posts on a forum for followers of Allah and his path, that posts in this forum are related to the path of Allah. Therefore when replying to a poster it is correct to presume the post relates to the path of Allah. Consequently my response was regarding rights accorded by Allah.
Until I see any other stated reason for the creation of this website, I will respect the statement of the website creator and respect their wishes. It is disrespectful to the website creator to use their website for other reasons. Immigration law and grief counselling are not mentioned and I wont get involved in it on this website. You have invented the moderator issue. I have not made such a claim. Please refrain from false accusations.
If a person makes a post, that Allah has defined as the comment of a kafir, munafiq, or mushrik, I provide the statement of Allah, that they are kafir, munafiq or mushrik. Allah does a lot more than disrespect kafirs, munafiqs, and mushriqs. Allah condemns them to jahannum and aazab. I walk in Allahs light, Allah has no respect for them, I dont either. Allah is my Lord.
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Salam Al Araf,
You have invented the moderator issue. I have not made such a claim. Please refrain from false accusations.
Here was my quote "Not only are you NOT a moderator but you are also a new member."
BOTH of those statements are CORRECT.
Please tell me which one you believe to be false. hmm
And they were not accusations. An accusation is defined as "a charge of wrong doing." I made no such charge in that statement.
Arnab
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Salam arnab. I come to this website to share what Allah has blessed me with of his wisdom. Some people read what I post and it assists them. Others get annoyed when they are reminded. Neither of the two responses is unusual. Sometimes I read posts and I am informed. I have read your posts, often you assist readers with a thorough dissertation on the actual meaning of the words used in the wahi/revelations. I commend your good work.
You are correct that I am not a moderator and I am a new member. I was posting because I saw other new members posting on the forum. Do I need to be a moderator or apprentice to post in this forum?
Allah is mighty wise.
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Salaam el araf,
i believe you do what is right in your eyes. Regardless of the fact that your / mine / our interpretations can be discussed and that we might never come to a common understanding , may be you should also take into account verses as
An-Nisaa - 4.36
And serve Allah . Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him . ( Show ) kindness unto parents , and unto near kindred , and orphans , and the needy , and into the neighbor who is of kin ( unto you ) and the neighbor who is not of kin and the fellow traveler and the wayfarer and those that depend on you. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastfullk
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Salam Elke. 4136 Serve Allah, join not any partners with Him; and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer, and what your right hands possess For Allah loves not the arrogant, the vainglorious.
What better good is there, than to repeat Allahs words. What better good is there than to turn people away from jahannum and aazab. If Allah is harsh and blunt when it comes to certain issues, it behoves me to conveys Allahs harsh and blunt word, for if I convey anything else I would be a deceiver, which I am not.
If you find my repetition of Allah's word arrogant or vainglorious, maybe listening to Allah's word is not for you. You waste your time on discussing me. Discussing me is an avoidance strategy. Discuss the word of Allah. If the word of Allah is difficult for you to swallow, Allah has already said, dont ask questions about things that will trouble you if they are answered.
Allah is the knower.
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Salam arnab. I quote from the main page of this website "This website has been created for all people who have a desire to allow God into their lives and follow His path alone..."
The presumption is, when a person posts on a forum for followers of Allah and his path, that posts in this forum are related to the path of Allah. Therefore when replying to a poster it is correct to presume the post relates to the path of Allah. Consequently my response was regarding rights accorded by Allah.
Until I see any other stated reason for the creation of this website, I will respect the statement of the website creator and respect their wishes. It is disrespectful to the website creator to use their website for other reasons. Immigration law and grief counselling are not mentioned and I wont get involved in it on this website. You have invented the moderator issue. I have not made such a claim. Please refrain from false accusations.
If a person makes a post, that Allah has defined as the comment of a kafir, munafiq, or mushrik, I provide the statement of Allah, that they are kafir, munafiq or mushrik. Allah does a lot more than disrespect kafirs, munafiqs, and mushriqs. Allah condemns them to jahannum and aazab. I walk in Allahs light, Allah has no respect for them, I dont either. Allah is my Lord.
police
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If you find my repetition of Allah's word arrogant or vainglorious, maybe listening to Allah's word is not for you. You waste your time on discussing me. Discussing me is an avoidance strategy. Discuss the word of Allah. If the word of Allah is difficult for you to swallow, Allah has already said, dont ask questions about things that will trouble you if they are answered.
Allah is the knower.
Salam al araf,
its your interpretation of these words that are difficult to swallow for me, as well as your way of conveying the message. but is is true, i do waste my time
lk
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hi and salam, i am a woman like yourself and a 'muslim' by heart. first of all, we can not fight with what Allah has ordained for us. coming to your issue... do u know what 'love' means??? it is the second name of sacrifice, respect (although sometimes one has to let that go a little bit!), belief, sincerity, compassion.... all in all... love means WANTING each other and WANTING to cope with each other, help each other and honour each other esp in trying times. lastly.. its a TWO WAY street. read what i have written patiently and attentively and ask yourself... is your love all of the above? if yes... or even no.. just be patient and wait for the right moment to arrive when you can ACT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION... for that wisdom... only ASK ALLAH. and He will answer you... but ONLY if you want to hear Him out... peace and prayers... aq.
As Salaam Alaikum,
I am really in need of prayers.My husband is saying that we divorcing and I do not want to. I would just really like to work our problems out before it is too late. I even told him about he must wait 4 months to even come to that decision, but he doesn't seem to care at the moment. I am very scared because I love this man so mcuh.
If you all could please pray for me I'd really appreciate it.
I love this man with all of my heart and he is just someone that I care about so much.
Please pray for me.
thank you