Divorce- What if He Strips me of my Rights legally?
-
As Salaam Alaikum,
If my husband divorces me, which he is insisting on doing, by local law what should I do?A local law divorce will strip me of all rights to him as a wife in the eyes of the government!
Should I still wait the Islamic way?
I know that we need to follow God's way, which is what I am insisting on my husband doing.... but what happens if i am stripped of my rights during this time?
I really valued being married in the eyes of the government and I frown down on Muslim marraiges that are not legally sanctioned by the government because it puts people, particularly women, in such an awful position.
My husband insists on this way and intending on filing the divorce papers.
I still have many months until I am Islamically divorced. Unfortuanntly though I can be divorced in the eyes of the government much sooner than that.
I feel that my rights are being taken away from me. That I am being stripped. Why should I then wait even more months to move on with my life?
Does God say anything about situations like these?
In a way my husband would be persecuting me, don't you think? Because he is denying me of my God given rights. What should I do?
This is partly what is stressing me out so much. I know that I can move on with my life, etc but I am freaking out because he will strip me of all of my rights soon if he goes ahead with filing the divorce papers. I feel that he is violating my rights and everything. I will be his "ex-wife" according the law and it upsets me so much, truly i will have absoloutly NO RIGHTS over him according to the government. My husband will be persecuting me!
-
Wa Alaikum As Salaam,
If he is a believing person than he has to follow the Quran in this matter. If he is not following the Quran is he a believer? Ask him...
6010 O you who believe, if the believing women come emigrating to you, then you shall test them. God is fully aware of their belief. Thus, if you establish that they are believers, then you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are no longer lawful for them, nor are the disbelievers lawful for them. And return the dowries that were paid. And there is no sin upon you to marry them, if you have paid their dowries to them. And do not keep disbelieving wives, and ask back what dowries you paid. And let them ask back what dowries they had paid. Such is God's judgment; He judges between you. God is Knowledgeable, Wise.
If he is a disbeliever than you are not in a lawful marriage so divorce as soon as possible. But you know better than me if he is or isn't.
-
Should I still wait the Islamic way?
Please do what is right... even if your husband won't.
I know that we need to follow God's way, which is what I am insisting on my husband doing.... but what happens if i am stripped of my rights during this time?
Can you clearify which rights you are referring to exactly?
Why should I then wait even more months to move on with my life?
Again, you should still do what is right. It is better for you.
Peace,
dotty -
Salam. ibelievitonly. 2230 says "If a husband talaqs his wife..." 2231 says "when you talaq women..." 2232 says "When you talaq women..." Allah repeatedly says the husband has the right to talaq a wife. You state "If my husband divorces me, which he is insisting on doing, by local law what should I do?" He has a right by Allahs hukum that he may talaq you.
As shown above, the right to talaaq a wife according to Allah, belongs to the husband. You claim "A local law divorce will strip me of all rights to him as a wife in the eyes of the government!" You have no right according to Allah to remain his wife if he exercises his discretion not to remain married to you.
2228 says "Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods" This is an instruction to divorced women upon whom the first talaq has been issued, and the final talaq has not been issued. You ask "Should I still wait the Islamic way?" If you have been issued the first talaq you are required by Allah to wait three months.
As shown above Allah's hukum gives you husband the right to issue the talaq. You ask "I know that we need to follow God's way, which is what I am insisting on my husband doing.... but what happens if i am stripped of my rights during this time?" Your husband has a right to issue a talaq. You have no right according to Allah that you allege you are being stripped of.
A believer obeys Allah's hukum and allows themselves to be governed by Allah. You claim "I really valued being married in the eyes of the government and I frown down on Muslim marraiges that are not legally sanctioned by the government because it puts people, particularly women, in such an awful position" You unfortunately do not value Allah's hukum as you should. You frown on marriages of the believers. You make a false inflammatory claim that women are placed "in such an awful position" Following a government is an awful place. Following the hukum of Allah is a blessed place for a believer to be.
As shown above your husband has a right to issue a talaq. You claim "My husband insists on this way and intending on filing the divorce papers"
As shown above the issue of the waiting period is mandatory on a divorced woman, Allah uses the term "shall wait" there is no discretion available to a divorced woman. You claim "I still have many months until I am Islamically divorced. Unfortuanntly though I can be divorced in the eyes of the government much sooner than that" Regardless, there is nothing unfortunate, you have to wait the period established by Allah's hukum.
A believer follows the hukum of Allah. The hukum of Allah establish the right and duties of a believer. You claim "I feel that my rights are being taken away from me. That I am being stripped. Why should I then wait even more months to move on with my life?" As shown above you have no right, your claim is false. As shown above Allah makes it mandatory that you wait. Whether you obey Allah is your choice. Whether Allah will punish you if you disobey is his choice.
Allah requires as a believer that you submit to his will. You ask "Does God say anything about situations like these?" As shown above Allah has already answered such situations. The Quran has always been with you. You can see the hukum of Allah the same as any other believer.
Allah has establish his hukum in perfect justice. You claim "In a way my husband would be persecuting me, don't you think? Because he is denying me of my God given rights. What should I do?" You are claiming that Allah is evil that by exercise of Allah's hukum you are persecuted? Get out of this evil state of mind.
There is only peace in the hands of Allah. There is no peace in any other way. You claim "This is partly what is stressing me out so much. I know that I can move on with my life, etc but I am freaking out because he will strip me of all of my rights soon if he goes ahead with filing the divorce papers. I feel that he is violating my rights and everything. I will be his "ex-wife" according the law and it upsets me so much, truly i will have absoloutly NO RIGHTS over him according to the government. My husband will be persecuting me!" Allah has given you no right over your husband with regards to talaq. Your claims of persecution, stress, freaking out, upset, and rights, are the evil result of your attempts to violate the hukum of Allah.
I advise you not to invent any lie against Allah. Allah has not given you any right to interfere with the husbands right to issue a talaq. Allah says those who invent lies against him reject faith and are blasphemers whose abode is Hell.
-
This is partly what is stressing me out so much. I know that I can move on with my life, etc but I am freaking out because he will strip me of all of my rights soon if he goes ahead with filing the divorce papers. I feel that he is violating my rights and everything. I will be his "ex-wife" according the law and it upsets me so much, truly i will have absoloutly NO RIGHTS over him according to the government. My husband will be persecuting me!
I second dotty. What rights, please clarify?
-
As Salaam Alaikum,
My husband and I live in the United States of America, and from miminimum research my husband and I could be divorced in as little as one month.The first 4 months of him even waiting to pronounce a divorce hasn't even passed! So I am facing the possibility of being stripped of my rights by the government before Islamically I am stripped of my rights as a wife.
I will not have any governmental rights to my husband what-so-ever. Yet, I will feel obligated to honor him as my husband spiritually. What do I do?
-
As Salaam Alaikum,
My husband and I live in the United States of America, and from miminimum research my husband and I could be divorced in as little as one month.The first 4 months of him even waiting to pronounce a divorce hasn't even passed! So I am facing the possibility of being stripped of my rights by the government before Islamically I am stripped of my rights as a wife.
I will not have any governmental rights to my husband what-so-ever. Yet, I will feel obligated to honor him as my husband spiritually. What do I do?
Salaam, ibelieveinitonly. I'm not a lawyer, but I am a US citizen who is familiar with what I think you're talking about.
It sounds like your husband is a US citizen/legal resident sponsoring you in order for you to stay in the country legally so the two of you can live in the US as husband and wife, but that because you have not finished the immigration process, you will be in the country illegally once the divorce is final because he will no longer be obligated to sponsor you as someone seeking US citizenship.
If this is the situation, then the best thing for you to do at this point is seek legal help because you will be asked to leave the US if you are not already a resident/citizen but you're in the US because your husband is sponsoring you. Every state should have at least one hotline where volunteer lawyers can discuss your options with you for free and point you in the right direction should you need more help. Please visit the following site to find free legal help in your area
http//www.abanet.org/legalservices/findlegalhelp/home.cfm
Just select your state from the pull down menu, click "Go" and take it from there to find the help you need from a US legal perspective. If you have to leave the US, then you have to leave; but believe it or not, there is a way to leave the US smoothly under circumstances I think you've described.
You can also contact the National Association of Muslim Lawyers at http//www.namlnet.org/. They should definately be able to give you some insights to help you make the best choice for you as a Muslimah. Their site isn't working at the moment, but I know that they're based in Washington, D.C. By calling 411 you can get this organization's phone number by providing their name and location. You may even be able to find their number using the online yellow pages until their site's up and running again.
Ma'salaama,
T. -
Peace "ibelevieinitonly",
Also prohibited(for men) are the women who are already married, except what your right hands possess/attain(i.e. unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.)* These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.- O you who believe, when believing women (abandon the enemy and) ask for asylum with you, you shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries. Do not keep disbelieving wives (if they wish to join the enemy). You may ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid. This is GOD's rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.
So if you have established that your husband is a disbeliever then you can easily ask to be married by another believer and theres nothing your husband can do. GOD Bless!