Peace cellobykasia..

Forgive my bluntness.. but I'll be frank...
Prepare for the worst... your husband is a 'damaged good' and cannot be changed.. thus keep it as it is..
Your children however still has some bright future... keep them away from the insanity of religion..
Our children don't deserve to inherit our insanity..

Salam / Peace

Do not worry about your bluntness. I do, in fact, believe that in some ways you may be right. In the end, it is battle of the ego's that cannot be and only ends when one side lowers their sword. To have that peace, I think you are right, I must just accept him for who he is.

Walekum Salam, Welcome to the forum!

I can relate very much to your trepidation. I am fairly new to Islam but my personality and analytical mind have always approached it with a "show me proof" attitude, which inherently means that it will take a long time (if not forever) to understand/read/reflect on the Quran and its meanings. In the meantime I started to practice salat, fast for Ramadan, go to mosque, etc...but even on the intuitive level I have also felt something was "wrong" with many of the traditions I began to adapt. For example, I first began using a translated version of the prayer and every time I recited the passages about Mohammed I felt a strange feeling deep in my stomach. Somehow, I just knew it didn't fit. And now after joining this forum, I understand that my subconscious was recognizing it as worshiping someone other than God.

I also have a husband who was born Muslim - a Sunni. We have already had many heated discussions because he takes everything he was taught at face value and I take nothing at face value. He feels frustrated that I won't allow him to "lead me the right way" and that "i always need proof." And I am very anxious as to what his reaction will be now that I have found others who are reinforcing my initial arguments. If there is anyone who has any advice about how I can make peace with my husband while at the same time sharing my spiritual journey with him, I would be very appreciative.

First, let me say that I do not doubt the Quran. However, I do have doubts as to how it is interpreted and used when taken out of context. It seems to me, that it is very easy to extract meaning to suit one's own inclinations and presumptions if there is not a thorough exploration done on the context of the ayat and how other ayat help shed more light onto/support its meaning. Just in my search for a translation of the Quran that was not influenced by hadith or other male dominated perspectives, I saw how varied the translated meanings are. A such, I do not refer to one translation alone and try to get a broader picture by reading many.

And this leads me to a more subtle topic on literal verses abstract. I came across a very interesting translation (although, it has in it injected meanings as supported by the Quran itself) of surah 37 from Shabbir Ahmed's The Quran as it Explains Itself (2003)

(The Book He has sent down bears an important Principle.) He it is Who has revealed to you (O Prophet) the Scripture. In it some verses are Literal, while some verses are Allegorical. The verses that pertain to Permanent Values have been presented literally. These verses, MUHKAMAT, are the Essence of the Divine Law. On the other hand, abstract phenomena, historical events, and the World of the Unseen are described in similes, metaphors and allegories for your understanding (MUTASHABIHAT). But those who are given to crookedness in their hearts pursue the allegories and try to give them literal meanings, thus creating dissension. None knows their final meaning (of such as the Essence of God, His Throne, His Book of Decree, the Eternity) but Allah. Those who are well founded in knowledge understand why the allegories have been used and they keep drawing lessons from them (7431). They proclaim the belief that the entire Book is from their Lord. As the human knowledge evolves, many of the other allegories will unfold their literal meaning (4153). But only the men and women of understanding will bear this fact in mind. (Each of the verses in the Qur'an is MUHKAM, Absolute Truth and you can understand which ones are to be taken literally and which ones are to be taken allegorically, by the context (111), (4720). And each verse in the Book complements the other (3923)).

As I compare it to other translations I see that there was a great amount of liberty taken in interpreting this verse. Although I actually resonate with the meaning that has been extracted, with my little knowledge of the Quran, i am still hesitant to take it word for word....

Words are strange in that they are in fact very abstract entities. They are symbols for meaning, not meaning themselves. And meaning is something that is felt and understood on a very deep (and personal) level. So, for myself, I am keep coming back to the same place - the Quran is a guide for the subconscious. A guide, not a rule book. I think, that how we use it to prove points, change attitudes and determine actions should be taken with great care and conscience.

I say all this with the awareness that it is just my opinion from a limited perspective.

Hi, I am very excited to have found this forum. I am new to Islam and have been practicing for only two years. My husband, who is from Zanzibar, was the original influence and it took a long time for me to finally know in my heart that I wanted to convert. But after breaking the stereotypes and reading deeper into the core of Islam I found that it truly resonated with my understanding of the world. although, I believe the process of understanding and living the spiritual principles will go on my entire life.

This particular forum has me jumping for joy because it seems to jive with how I have been applying the meanings to my everyday life. I have found it uncomfortable and often doubt myself because many of the examples around me take for granted what they were told about Islam and have not sought their own truth. But now I see that I am not the only one and feel much more empowered to be the free minded Muslim that I feel blooming inside. Inshallah.