handshake
Thank you Brother Ali
You have helped me a lot

Thank you everyone for reading my bit and replying
I particularly appreciate your kind words, brother Ali. My wife is a good person, in many ways she is a better person than me (I have a lot of fancy ideas wheras she gets on with it!).
I have one question which I would appreciate anyone's views. Would you secretly take "shahadah" at a mosque without her knowing or simply do it in my own heart?
Best wishes to everyone
Crumbeloads

Hello everyone
Here is my story - I would appreciate your comments.
I teach Religious Studies at a sixth form college here in Somerset England. For the past year, I have been reading about Islam talking to some muslims and doing a lot of thinking!For about twenty years, from my mid-twenties I practised Buddhism, because I found its godless philosophy attractive (I found the world too cruel to believe in a benevolent God) and I liked meditation and had a lot of faith in it. However, I became dissatisfied with this - it didn't seem to going anywhere & all my studies of the likes of Aquinas and liberal theology pointed me to an acceptance of a more optimistic view of life. The beauty of creation of art and music, of my children and simple joy of life helped me to see a kind of argument from aesthetics which proved for me the existence of something divine that we might call God - I also became enamoured with the "post modern" theology of Don Cupitt.Then in the last 15 months, as I say, I have been studying the beautiful Quran which sometimes persuades me that God might really exist as an entity not just a cultural construct.I love Islam because it is peace and enjoy its devotional side very much.I have some problems though my wife who does know much about Islam has threatened to divorce me if I convert. We have a lovely family and a decent marriage so I haven't yet! Secondly I find a lot of Muslim practice go against my grain. I am a liberal and I always will be - I hate persecution of minorities, sexism, certainty and narrow-mindedness & even though I am only too well aware that Islam & violence have nothing to do with each other I still feel too much mainstream Islam is not "progressive" enough for me. That's why confused confusedI'm here alll the way from a very unislamic but nonetheless larely civilised part of the world. Do I have a future in beautiful Islam?