MsDee i thought about you the other day--its been pretty warm here the past few days, maybe in the 70's...and ive been wearing a black leather jacket around. you know i hate the heat and i was just thinking about being wrapped up in a hijab--and its not even full blown summer yet--and then i thought about you being on the west coast and wrapped up in hijab, lol. then i read Aamers comment about the ninja girls in AZ. phew that is sacfricing a lot of comfort, more power to all the women who wear hijab in ridiculously hot places, all joking aside muscle

I was reading that this year will be the hottest summer in West Costs history, I hope I survive lol. I don't even wear the veil, just the scarf on my neck and chest, and I feel I'm burning up already. Must take some serious will power not to nudge at the scarf to let in a little air from time to time. More power to them though, I admire their dedication.

i didnt even know this thread was here Dee! im feeling so sad right now but hopeful that things will work out when he comes. it will put things on a totally different level but the decisions will be even harder. im praying that it works out for you. i didnt know your dad was an alcoholic, my mom was too =[
i dont understand why God chooses to enlighten some of us and not others. it seems as if enlightenment is the answer to most problems, what an easy fix -\

I didn't know your mother was an alcoholic too, I hope she is doing good now. I hope you didn't feel sad after reading my post, and feel better soon. Thank you for the prayers, I will keep you in mind as well.

God guides whom he wills, and I hope we are rightly guided as well. Take care, and answer my emails when you get a chance

Peace and Blessings peace

Totally agree!!!! Well said!

A lot of people don't know what emotional abuse is. I didn't either till I found myself in one. Like you said it was not the difference in opinion but constantly putting me down and manipulating me to conform to his standards is form of abuse. Sometimes it was subtle and not very obvious. Telling me how he genuinely cares about me and all that was just part of the manipulation.

Salam,

There are big signs you can recognize while the abuse is happening. Though, I never noticed these things when I was with my last ex, not until after we broke up, and I began reading about these things. They can come in different forms, not always violent or suppressive.

My ex would use a lot of emotional black mail. He was living with me for some time and had nowhere to go, every time we'd get in a fight he would threaten to leave, knowing I care about his well being and safety I would not allow him to leave, and I'd just cave in or apologize even though I didn't sincerely mean it. I used to just think he was going through a hard time, until he started getting more violent and aggressive. When he hit me, I felt like I finally woke up. I left him the next day.

I would not say this Sunni man is like him. My ex was immature and only cared about himself. This guy really does care about me. I mean the time difference from here to Dubai is big. He doesn't sleep until 10am just to speak to me. There's a lot of attention to detail in the way he speaks. Maybe I'm wrong about him, but for now I feel he is good, even though we disagree on certain things. Only time will tell from this point forward...

no dog or crab will bother him, but might be ur last 4 x boy friends will nope &

I have never talk with him or seen him, but the way he is genuinely concern about ur veil and stuff, he sounds to be a good man )

wish you luck sister handshake pr

I think so too (
But at least he is understanding, he knows this was before Islam.

He really is a good man, even though we have our differences, and thank you.

Peace and Blessings peace

I think there are two sorts of things. Difference of opinion on religion or on anything else should not be a source of distress if we are sure of ourselves. He thinks this and that, good for him, you think this or that other good for you. BUT when the question is not about different opinions where you can disagree in peace, it is when it goes beyond and he expects you to conform to his norms or the opposite nd he does not accept in deed and word that you are not going to do what he wants. They are two different things. Very different. One is feasible, the other is not if you want to be yourself and not a pale shadow and a property of his.

Therefore that hadith about intercession for me is a difference of opinion, but his expectations that you should conform to his idea of Muslimness for a woman is outright tyrany, so completely different.

Difference of opinion with close relationships is always present. There are not two people in the world who think the same thing about everything. nd all of us have to accpet that with good grace. Tyrany is nothing to keep quiet about for the sake of peace. It is the burying of the other in live just as they did with girl children in the old times in Arabia an which the Qur'an talks about. Nobody has to put up with that nor whould anybody put up with that, it is an invitation to the tyran to feel like a god, to shirk.

Salaam

Salam,

I agree completely with what your saying, I mean we have our debates, and there was a power struggle for a little while, but now we're at a point were we can just agree to disagree to maintain the peace. When we do debate something, we don't get as fired up as before, at the end we know we care about each other, and don't wish to hurt one another. I wouldn't really call him a tyrant, or call myself one either, it's just differences in opinion, but after discussing this with him, we have found a way to keep the peace and on certain issues we have found some middle ground, so I'm happy about that.

I think I will always find differences in people, as no 2 people are alike, as you mentioned. From this point forward, we're still getting to know each other. Nothing is set in stone, and we won't be officially engaged until he comes to see me next month, I thought he'd be here by now but he's had some trouble with a friend. God willing I make the correct decision, I still have 2 more years to think about it lol, since we agreed that would be enough for us to get an idea of what we have to look forward to. Thank you very much for your time.

Peace and Blessings peace

I see red flags in what you have shared. When you are emotionally involved, it is traumatic when the relationship comes to an end or things are not going well which causes distress and of course, you will feel happy when not experiencing the distress but over time if he is constantly telling you what you should believe and how you should behave or dress, your feelings will turn into loneliness, resentment and anger. What is his reaction when you criticize his beliefs? A comment here, a certain look there, and crticism can slowly chisel away at the relationship over time. Seems he is not accepting of your beliefs and you are not accepting of his - each trying to change the other. Hoping that a partner will change is a big mistake. What you are doing is imposing your views on him and he is trying to impose his views on you.

Glad you are thinking about your future children. How will you raise them? Will you raise them traditional Sunni? whatever you have said on this forum is what your children will hear at home. Is it fair to the children to hear their parents debating over religion watching their mom feeling unhappy? If he wants the children to go to Islamic school raised the way he was - would that be ok with you. Would it be fair to marry a Sunni and tell the children that their father believes in lies told about God?

Please don't let your feelings decide your future as your feelings can betray you. I have been there and done that. May God guide you both.

Salam,

You speak the truth, I just mind that he wants to uphold the Hadiths as divine revelation. I need him to understand hearsay does not equate to God's word, but it's difficult when he's grown up with these beliefs. At this point, I'm thinking I can just let him be. We both know our stances and our differences now. The only progress I've made is in him admitting he is not certain about all Hadiths, and that they are open for discussion.

We've actually discussed about children before, he said he'd teach them what he knows. I would not call him a liar, or allow the children to disrespect him, but I would only implore with them to think for themselves. If they choose to follow Hadith after, that will be entirely their decision.

It's true, feelings can make us cling on to irrational and hurtful things, I hope I can keep a clear and stable mind before I make my final decision, thank you for your input.

Peace and Blessings peace

I had a 'catholic girlfriend' before, but I guess it's incomparable as the context is different.
I told her I have no problems of attending (Catholic) church service with her, and as matter of fact I did quite few times.
Even getting married in a church I absolutely have no problem.
But honestly, I used to make 'remarks' about her (illogical) belief when the topics came out.
And because I'm also quite proficient in the Bible, I can provide evidence that some of the catholic dogma has no biblical ground at all.

Same thing is happening between me and him right now. Like recently, I found one Hadith that states Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) can intercede for us on the day of Judgement, when the Qu'ran clearly states there will be no intercessors on our final day. He really had no way to back this Hadith up, other than saying he's just a "normal Muslim", if I want a better understanding I should ask an Imam.

We did talk about 'raising kids' and the same question popped out, in short I make a remarks go ahead teach them about Catholicism, and when time is right I will also teach them about Orthodoxism, JUdaism, Sunniism, Shiaism, Buddhism, Taoism etc.. Thus they will have a complete view and better understanding of things.

We broke up eventually, but it's not due to 'religion'.

This seems like a good idea, just to get a broader perspective, and I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two (

Peace and Blessings peace

I would say, as others have said, Allah swt is your best guide in this. It's a very personal issue and we are probably missing details. It also depends on your personalities. Could you both agree to disagree? Is he willing to understand that you will be practicing without hadiths? It's possible then that if you continue to talk he may better understand your position and may even consider Quran only for himself.

We finally talked about it, I told him I'm sorry I cannot uphold the Hadiths to the same level as our Holy Quran, and we got into a debate. We ended up agreeing that the Hadiths are not perfect, and are open to questioning. Insh'Allah one day he accepts only Qu'ran as complete truth.

This is great advice. He should marry you for who you are, not who he thinks you might be or what he'd like you be.

All he told me is, I can only advise you but not force you to do anything, you're free to make your own choices, but how can you have Islam without Hadith? What are you creating a new Islam just for you? Where you can interrupt the versus as you wish? I said no, the versus are clear and truthful for all, if you feel insecurity, it is only from you or Satan, but not from Allah. Allah clearly tells us in the Qu'ran, he has made it easy to understand.

Thank you for your time )
Peace and Blessings peace

Peace,

Welcome to the forum, and congratulations on your baby. I'm glad to hear you are thirsty for knowledge, and God willing you will find answers to much of your inquiries. As God has blessed us with logic and reason, to understand him, and live a righteous life. Take care sister )

Peace and Blessings peace

Salam,

I'm very happy to see that you have seen the truth, and that God has guided you to seek more knowledge. Books such as the Hadiths are not untouchable, only our Holy Qu'ran is, as it is the real word of God. Welcome to the forum.

Peace and Blessings peace

Salam,

I know it may be tough on the people around you, but stay strong sister. Have patience, remain steadfast, and know Allah guides whom he wills. Take care, and welcome to the site.

Peace and Blessings peace

Peace

So hold fast to all that has been revealed to thee for, behold, thou art on a straight way; (4344)

As you see God never mentions to hold fast to haddits.

ART THOU NOT aware that it is God whose limitless glory all that are in the
heavens and on earth extol, even the birds as they spread out their wings?62 Each
knows indeed how to pray unto Him and to glorify Him; and God has full knowledge of all that
they do (2442) for, God's is the dominion over the heavens and the earth, and with God is all
journeys' end.
2443

My belief is that every person(or maybe every community) will have his/her own way regarding prayer. As long as only the Glorious name of our lord is glorified, and no other name is mentioned besides His, I believe the person praying is not sinning. I am not of the idea that is okay to mention prophets, or even your own parents, during a prayer that is meant to glorify and exalt the name of our God the Most Merciful.

I personally like Mohamed Asad translation of the Holy Qur'an is very reasonable, and the Monotheist translation is fair too. But, I don't like those from saudi arabia because they put too much stuff from hadiths and traditions into the translation.

Salam,

This is very true, God will guide us to his path and his path alone, Insh'Allah. I'm also not comfortable adding any other names besides God during my prayers, but this goes from a person to person consensus, I will not judge anybody who does so. I don't think I've read Mohammad Asad's translation, I'll have to check it out, thanks for your input.

May Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon You peace

Your are welcome, and I wish the best.

Thank you, wish you the best also and blessings of Allah

At the very least this hijab drum is straining on mental resources and psyhologically. It deviates a lot of the Muslim's energies from useful things to pickering and watching whether this one does this or that one does that with no elevated goals in mind.

After plenty of years of living through this question I am more and more convincing that it has been a torpedo shot very effectively to sink muslim societies. I can certify that it is a real destroyers. Disctract the minds from real issues and paralizes women by beeing scrunized, and paralizes males by making them into scrutinizers of women.

IT IS INDEED ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING

Salaam

I understand exactly what you mean here, one of the hot topics on Islamic speeches is the veil. It really does distract people from bigger things, like all the atrocities of war, famen, terrorism, hate crimes, pedophilia, oppression, punishing rape victims, stoning to death, and the list goes on and on. People need to wake up, and see there are greater things to be dealt with in this world, then a simple head scarf. If these Imams or scholars have so much influence, they should use it for good to try to create a better youth, and not just cling on tightly to these small issues. It really does just make things worst, I'm not surprised there are so many men taking these issues to heart, and sometimes trying to take matters into their own hands. It's truly depressing.

Peace and Blessings peace

Can I be real for a minute? I don't think you believe in the veil nor do you want to do it. But you're so hooked on this guy that you're willing to sacrifice and be a Ninja Girl (that's what we call Hijabis in Arizona) and walk around wearing a tent over your body for him. I'm being judgmental here but I'd bet my flat screen HD TV (which I'm very attached to) that you're only doing it for him. Not because it will bring you closer to God or because you actually believe in it. People will do ridiculous things (which they often regret) for the opposite sex when there is an emotional connection. If you were my daughter, I'd lock you in the closet till you came to your senses. But since I can not do that, I can only give you this advice... Forget about today, tomorrow, next week, next month... Think ten, twenty, thirty years down the road. Will you be happy? If the answer is yes... You go ninja girl! If the answer is no, put an end to it now. Entertain no optimism for him in the future and don't budge an inch. Also with Sunni/Shia Muslims, nothin means shizzle till you meet their family. A lot of them will do whatever their family tells them to do. To me this is a sign of weakness. It ain't yo momma dat gotsta live your life. It's you. Have some balls and stand up to yo Momma. A lot of Arab and Desi men wear skirts well into adulthood. Take off the skirt Sally. Test him on this. Make sure he's man enough. This may sound evil but pit him against his mother once and you'll find out a LOT about your future. Just wait for the opportunity when his mother is in the wrong. With Arab our Desi mothers, this won't take very long! Words mean nothing. Test him only on actions. Good luck sis

Salam,

As I've stated before, I was thinking of wearing the veil before I even spoke to him. The only reason I haven't gathered the courage to do it is due to my family, I feel no support. I just recently converted to Islam, and I need them to understand me. This is my family, and it saddens me to hear them tell me not to wear it as they'd be embarrassed of me. Aside from that, I don't necessarily deem it a major sin, I don't know if I feel this way because of my family or my knowledge on the subject. But God willing, I will have a clearer mind soon.

Right now I'm analyzing everything, and observing the words he says. I know what it's like to cave in, and honestly it brings nothing positive. This happened with my last relationship of 3 years, my ex got progressively violent and dominating. Until one day he just hit me so I left him. If I had paid more attention to his family I would have seen it coming. I want to avoid everything I did before. I don't want to come off as weak or tame. I thank you for your concern, but honestly if I want to do anything it's for myself. Men come and go, but whose going to return my self worth?

He's talked about his family before, he said his mother isn't very pushy, one of his brothers even married a Christian woman. Once I meet him, and his family, I can get a pretty good idea of where my life is headed (Insh'Allah). Thank you for your advice brother.

Peace and Blessings peace

But to refuse the Quran as a revelation I suppose is a big minus for people. Mostly it is due to prejudices against the Muslim community that make people neglect the Quran and poor translations which promote strange behavior. If they had the better translations and got rid of their preconception of Islam, everyone would embrace Quran.Quran. It is irrational to ignore this perfect scripture.

God bless you

Exactly my thoughts )
May Peace and Blessings be unto You peace

Yes, sure, saudis wear it usually while in Saudia, and all throughout Muslims history men have covered their heads, but that precisely is the tricky part, that all of a sudden for men to cover or not cover is indifferent, but not for women, for women out of the blue to cover the head, something which was the usual thing for most men and women, suddenly for women becomes a religious duty, and the head becomes another sexual organ that should be covered. Just the use it is being made of it, is disgusting and repulsive.

I agree 100% with you on this, it's like modesty is only prescribed for women. I've presented him with different scenarios. Like recently he did his Umrah and in his pictures there were other men walking around topless, while the women were completely veiled. I told him how is this permissible? He said it's tradition, and I said some of these men have attractive bodies, if you are in a place of worship you want to avoid attraction. He said I don't know, and I said exactly because this behavior is hypocritical and has no religious basis. You wouldn't go around walking topless in the street or at work, so why would you do it there?

Yes indeed women should dress as they choose, but the pressure and the signification being given to wearing something on the head is outright brainwshing and a travesty of religion and faith. For me a good reason to keep off it as if it was the devil just as I keep away from booze and gaming. Unless, of course I had a natural liking for it or if wearing it were for me an enjoyment, but then I think I would cringe that it could be confused with anything religious and on top of it that I would be supporting feminine subjugation without wanting to do so. Just as it happened in the past and happens in the present with the use of clothes and shoes that are not comfortable or can be even harmful and which women are led to dress or use because that is what is required for them receive approval in whatever environment or in whatever sense not to speak also of the need to undergo surgery because their first duty is always to be beautiful and to be young.

Exactly, I'm thankful I'm not a slave to high heels and skimpy outfits just to fit in. I'd wear the veil for personal reasons, because I've never really cared what people have thought about me anyways. For many years I had this "heavy metal look", I was really into this music, loved playing guitar, and didn't mind the snobby stares I'd get from time to time. I guess it's all a matter of choice, as long as the choice was solely yours, and not propagated by mainstream media or social pressure.

At any rate, something which always turns out be true is that it may be easy to start hijabing, but if you want to stop and you have people around who deem it your duty, you are in for a nasty ride.

Salaam

I feel if it ever gets this bad, I don't think I could go through with it. I need someone who will respect and understand me, I would hate to always have to live justifying and defending my stances, it's not a comfortable life. I'm hoping we get these issues out of the way by the time we meet (Insh'Allah). Thank you for your response.

Peace and Blessings peace

First imposition wearing the veil.

Whether you want to wear it or not, the fact remains that he has asked something of you which you currently do not do. Why has this question, which is so closely linked to a certain type of mentality, been asked of you. The psychology behind this is of crucial consideration to you whether you consider it to be or not. If you really want an answer to your initial queries, I suggest you deconstruct and analyse these telling nuggets which, I believe, will reveal the truth to you more than what you directly ask him in regards to life after marriage. This veiling business is given high importance by Sunni men. As time passes, you will probably find more expectations to conform on your shoulders. It just so happens that your fella is a Sunni, but I would advise you the same of anyone always look beyond to the subtext!

By the way, did you say that you hadn't actually met this fella? If that's the case then all this could be a case of much ado over nothing.

Salaam.

Sajda.

I have been thinking about his questions. Putting my feelings aside, this situation can either get progressively better or wost, at this moment I do not know. Worst case scenario in my mind, is if we find some type of middle ground then great for us you know, and if we don't then we can just stop speaking to each other and move on with our lives. Even if he puts up a face of acceptance, then later on tries to impose his beliefs upon me or if I find myself unhappy, I can always divorce him.

I haven't met him, but as I stated before, we are meeting very soon, I'm thinking by the end of this month. When we do meet up, it's not going to lead to a casual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, were going to discuss our potential marriage, and try to weigh out the pros and cons. I need to analyze everything before I meet him this day (Insh'Allah), so I can have a clear mind and set my standards. Thank you for your input.

Peace and Blessings peace

Salaam missdee,

It is true God perfected His religion, it is the Quran and some minor adjustments which He means by this. But Islam is a few thousand years old and existed even in the age of Abraham. And Islam is the only religion accepted by God, but that is because the term/name means a way of living. "Deen" as you hear others say.

As I wrote in other threads, anyone who submits to God alone (monotheist), believe in eternal life and live a righteous life is a Muslim, even if it would be that he was calling himself Christian, due to lack of knowledge, or simply say he honestly believes in God and that the world does not end upon death and lives as a righteous man or woman.

Muslim is the description of the "behavior" or "mindset" of the Believer, not a category of names to refer to. You are Muslim because of your struggle to learn the Truth, and I sometimes translate/paraphrase the word to Truthseeker.

Salam,

I cannot claim I know what God means in this verse, because only he knows the absolute truth, and I'm forbidden to debate anything I don't have knowledge of. So I digress -X

I actually believe in a similar set of views that you do. I believe people are not damned to hell simply for lack of knowledge. Like the Qu'ran states, as long as you believe in God, do righteous deeds, and believe in the Day of Judgement, no matter whether your Jew, Christian, you will have your recompense with God, the Qu'ran clearly states this. I just believe the Qu'ran is the ultimate guide because God has protected his book. This is simply what I believe, to each his own right? P

May Peace and Blessings be Upon You peace

I am sorry but this veil thing, pounding on it and the being ready for it or not being ready for it. Do you mean you, out of yourself would think wearing a veil would be for God's sake? Do you really believe it? That God thinks women are better or closer to him with veil while men are ok no matter how? If so, I am afraid he is already tamed you.

No veil is going to get you closer to God. I am all for freedom of dress for everybody, but this insistence on women's veil as if it was part of faith more so than the males covering of the head is something that is destroying societies as surely as any other superstition and extra exigence on women. Because it is an extra duty on women. That is not the Qur'an that is pure cheek. When will you be ready to put on a veil if you do not believe in it? If you believe in it, that is your business, although I do not see any reason tob elieve that, but that is your business. But if you do not believe in it, you are giving him falso hopes, you are giving in to him. Do not loose an inch. Don't you ever let him entertain any hope that you are going to do what he thinks is right that you do. He should be fully contented with what he thinks is right that he does provided that does not consist of pestering you with his little narrow pecking whims.

Otherwise I will have to give you the same advice as Amer.

Salaam

Salam,

I've actually thought about wearing the veil before I met him, I just don't really feel its required in Islam, it's just an extra form of modesty in my opinion, and believe it or not in some parts of the world men wear it too. I'm not thinking I will suddenly be on the top of God's list if I wear it, it's just a piece of cloth, and we all know the best thing a believer can wear is righteousness. If I choose to wear it in the future it's my decision, not his. I told him, if you like me, you'll accept me with or without it. Trust me, I know first hand how manipulating and damaging men can be. I grew up with a violent, alcoholic father, through the grace of God alone I have managed to make peace with him. Recently, he's asked me about the Qur'an (Alhamdulillah), and God willing he will see the errors he has made.

Most of my life, I grew up opposing my dad, debating him in every little thing. This has made me have a strong passion for what I believe, and even if I'm not sure about the veil, one thing I am sure of, is that I'm not going to allow anybody to tell me what to do. This man has called me difficult, stubborn, and he's perfectly aware of how I am. The more he tries to break my will, the stronger it actually gets. I believe all women should make their own choices, even if some people believe the veil is oppressive, many times women wear it out of their own accord. When they placed a ban on veils, women protested angrily in the streets, and not all of these women come from a Muslim upbringing. Anyways, this is just how I think, everybody is entitled to their own beliefs, and I honestly respect everyone. Thank you for your input.

Peace and Blessings peace

Miss Dee, my advice is... If he is a hardcore Sunni... and you're unwilling to spend your life wearing a veil and listening to Hadith to justify your oppression... You should turn the other way and RUN. I understand human psychology and Sunni culture. He definitely wants you as his wife but he's thinking he will change you over time. If you are not wanting to change. Get out regardless of the chemistry you may have with him. Big problems lay ahead sister. I grew up traditional Muslim.. Kinda. God gave me the courage to leave my families religion and follow Quran alone. My girlfriend (who I intend to marry Insha Allah) as luck would have it is also a 24 year old Mexican girl. Raised Catholic but never bought into it. She genuinely had a desire for the truth and it was a progression but after reading Quran and seeing the proof behind it, she whole heartedly accepted Quranist Islam. If she had not (and I didn't want to influence her decision), I would not have stayed with her. I don't want our kids going to church, celebrating pagan rituals, etc in the future. I had already made my decision but wanted to see if she would see the truth and accept it because we have great chemistry and she's my best Friend. But Practically, to raise a family and commit for life, that's not enough. It seems like you're in a similar dilemma. Perhaps your boyfriend does have the strength to accept the truth. But you won't find out until you test him. Make it clear what your standards are and what you expect from a husband. Make every logical argument as to why you believe what you believe. If he is sincere and sees the truth... Alhamdulillah. If he's attached to his childhood beliefs and can't see logic... You will be living life as a Sunni woman. Either be willing to accept it or RUN! May God bless you with the best decision for your future and hereafter. Peace!

We actually discussed it today, and he said, "I love you and I want to help you change for the better", and I couldn't help but cry after he said this. He felt bad after, and told me he intends to better himself also. He's also asked me if I'd ever wear the veil, and I'm actually open to it, but I'm not ready at the moment. If I do choose to wear it, it has to be for God, not for him, and he agreed. Then he said he loves me for who I am now, and would only try to help me be a better person, not a completely new one. I told him, why did he choose me, when he could have just courted a "normal" Sunni girl, and he just said because you're crazy, you have your own mind, and a pure heart. I need to set a few guidelines before we finally meet, so there won't be any surprises. He already knows I am highly critical of the Hadiths, but at the same time, I am open to accept a few of them since not all of them contradict the Qu'ran. These I can take only as commentary, and not absolute truth. I told him I could also read the Bible and Torah, for further research, and only accept what agrees with the Qu'ran, and dismiss anything that contradicts it. So he has an idea how my mind works. Not to mention, the numerous debates we've had over certain Hadiths, like the ones that permit killing for apostasy, stoning for adultery, and the famous 9 year old Aisha. He is open to debate these, but admits, he is not certain about every single Hadith, so I'm hoping he is at least flexible, Insh'Allah.

I am happy to hear about your girlfriend opening her mind to the truth, and not wholeheartedly accepting Hadiths as divine revelation, as we only have our Holy Qu'ran for this. I wish you 2 blessings and happiness, God willing, you can marry soon, and live a long and strong life )

Peace peace