Sal?mun ?Alaykum
I am dealing with something very difficult and could use some advice.
I am a white man living in the US who was raised Catholic. I always had a problem with this religion and it never felt right for me; because of this I was never very religious. Two and a half year ago I met the most wonderful woman we have been dating ever since. Not that it should matter but at 27 years old, she is 15 years younger than me. When we met she was attending engineering graduate school on a student Visa from Malaysia. She is a Sunni Muslim.
Shortly after we began dating I wanted to understand her culture more so I decided to read the Quran. I was not on any kind of spiritual journey, I just wanted to understand this religion that very few christians knew anything about. I went on to Amazon.com and looked for the Quran and found so many versions. I settled on "QURAN A REFORMIST TRANSLATION". I am so happy I did.
As I began to read this book I was struck by its message. I truly felt that god was speaking to me in these words. It felt like the same god that I became acquainted with so many years prior in Catholic school when I was studying the Old Testament. This was the beginning of my spiritual journey. I began studying other Quran only type books and blogs and began to believe in what I was reading. I submitted myself to one god only and have been happily following the Quran ever since. I am not perfect by any means and I am sure that I will have much to answer for someday but this was two years ago and today I consider myself Muslim.
The problem I am having is with the parents of my girlfriend. They live in Malaysia and are very devout Sunni Muslims. She chose to keep me a secret from her parents this entire time. Her mother came to the US for a 2 month trip 3 weeks ago. My girlfriend decided to tell mom about me and about our desire to Marry and mom became very upset...almost psychotic, screaming and throwing things. I did not expect mom to react so unreasonably. She refused to meet me and forbade my girlfriend to see me which my girlfriend is complying with.
Her father (who is still in Malaysia) got word of me and sent a message that he wanted to speak with me. We spoke last week on the phone. I told him that I love his daughter and want to marry her. I told him that I want his blessing and his wife's blessing. I told him I would come to Malaysia to meet him in person. The conversation went very well. I can tell he likes me and I think there is hope but he asked me one question that makes me worried. He asked if I was Muslim and I said yes I am. Then he began to talk about Islam but I was very unfamiliar with what he was talking about because the religion he practices appears to be Hadith based not Quran based. I am doubtful that this devout man has even ever read the Quran. Our call ended very pleasant though.
Later I spoke with my girlfriend who told me she had spoken to her father and he really likes me and wants to meet me. His only concern is that before we can marry I would need to convert to Islam because I am not a real Muslim. I suppose for the sake of getting the approval to marry the woman I love I could Fake convert to Sunni. I do not want to because it seems so wrong. I mean I am Muslim, I just don't believe the same thing that they believe. If I was to fake convert, I don't even know where I would begin?
My girlfriend has watched me go from a non believer to someone that believes 100% over the last couple years. Our conversations around Islam have inspired her to rethink the beliefs that she has held all her life. She is slowly seeing the truth. For her that truth is very scary though.
If anyone has advice to offer I humbly ask for you to share it with me. I just do not know how to handle this.
Sal?m!
