It really comes down to what you genuinely want to seek. God is the Ultimate Good and no one shall worry about their death knowing they've been pursuing the Ultimate Good throughout their life. This is what should drive "believers". You were brought to life to live for a short amount of time and then you will leave your body and your belongings to decompose to the earth. It's up to you to decide of your ultimate goal in this brief moment in this world. "The weakest home is the home of the spider" and you are the spider. You will naturally love life, and grow attached to the beauty of things around you. You will naturally think about yourself first before others, seek your own advantage over others, try to be better than others. You will naturally want to stack up money and own as much as you can. You will naturally want to belong in a pack and have a shepherd lead you to the barn. etc. etc. But in summary "The life of this world is but a deceiving enjoyment" So you, not really you, but rather your body is engineered to grow attached to this life, and seek this and that. Your mind/spirit isn't. And that's what you need to seek. Find that part of you that is your Mind, separate your Mindful judgement from your Body's wishes, and then exercise Mindful action. You will need self knowledge, so question everything that goes through your head, where does it come from ? what does it lead to ? Be as much awake to what's going on inside you as someone traveling in the night on a dangerous road. People will tell you that isolation is dangerous, and it is indeed, because most people do things for the sake of not being judged, and in lack of any external judgement one can take a dark path pretty easily. But in your isolation you will see your true self free of any acting. So in your isolation you should learn about yourself. God will make manifest to you your hypocrisy. You can imagine that an invisible being is looking at you when no one else is, OR, don't be a hypocrite and instead be honest and truthful in action and thinking, publicly and privately. Hence why the exercise of virtue is what brings you closer to God more than anything else. I would advice you to seek philosophy, it will awaken your mind when religion puts it to sleep and will make you ask relevant questions about YOURSELF more than anything else. I suggest Stoic philosophy for a starter, with Marcus Aurelius.